Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

WinnyThePoo

Deleted User wrote: »

WinnyThePoo wrote:

All we can do is keep on keeping on.

Trying but I'm still awake. Can't relax. Every time.i feel like I'm about to drop off, I get a massive pang of anxiety and feel like I'm about to die.

I'm so sorry your going through that. I get anxiety attacks regularly and it never gets easier.

I got an hours sleep last night and I'm trying to fall asleep now but can't. It feckin sucks.

SMC92Ian

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

I'm so sorry your going through that. I get anxiety attacks regularly and it never gets easier.

I got an hours sleep last night and I'm trying to fall asleep now but can't. It feckin sucks.

I hate that, I just get up and do stuff.

BohsCeltic

Awake again. Need to sleep but cannot. I think I might take a valium. It's just so annoying.

Red Lightning

Very sorry to all suffering constantly. I'm looking to raise awareness for mental health. Can I ask anyone here what type of stuff would make life easier for them that raising awareness can bring about?

Gremlinertia

Also awake for a terribly long time now. Seeing that others are having the same problems is comforting, but I'm sorry too.

jaxxx

Red Lightning wrote: »

Very sorry to all suffering constantly. I'm looking to raise awareness for mental health. Can I ask anyone here what type of stuff would make life easier for them that raising awareness can bring about?

One thing that bugs me (people close to me) is saying certain things, triggers if you like. Things like:
- It'll be alright
- Don't worry about it
- Try and relax


Things like that.


I read this some weeks back in a magazine somewhere, and it really speaks volumes. I can't remember it word for word but it was something like "The problem with mental health is that people expect you to behave like you don't have it" (it referring to mental health issues)

Update on me anyway: seriously debating resigning from this new job I got, even though I don't yet have another one to go to. Apart from the stress, it's a killer on my back as well. 30 going on 70, that's what I feel like!!

Skybirdjb

Add me to the awake people
Little baby is sick and hasn't slept yet
Not good for my head

WinnyThePoo

No sleep in the end. Hopefully after work I'll be able to conk out.

Had to divorce myself from my family(father, mother etc) recently. Being around them just had more negative consequences for my mental health.

Of course this breaks my heart. I wish I had a healthy relationships with the family...sure maybe time might change things.

I do miss hanging with my nephews(6&4). There cool dudes who don't judge. Maybe I'll get to see them when I'm older.

Anyway that's what keeping me up.

BohsCeltic

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

No sleep in the end. Hopefully after work I'll be able to conk out.

Had to divorce myself from my family(father, mother etc) recently. Being around them just had more negative consequences for my mental health.

Of course this breaks my heart. I wish I had a healthy relationships with the family...sure maybe time might change things.

I do miss hanging with my nephews(6&4). There cool dudes who don't judge. Maybe I'll get to see them when I'm older.

Anyway that's what keeping me up.

I know the feeling. Yesterday my Mother told me that my Godson who is 11 asked her what's wrong with me.
He noticed that I haven't been in work for over a year now.
Hurts to think that he is worried about me at such a young age.

clever user name

Hi everyone. Just found this thread, have been reading through it. Hope you're all doing ok today.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 3 years ago (going on way longer than that though). My anxiety has never been overly bad, it only really came on after a particular incident, and in the 4 years since has calmed down quite a bit. The depression has not been so kind. Shortly after I sought some professional assistance I ended up moving abroad (again). Been away since. Hindsight I should have stayed at home for a little while longer if I'm honest. Finally told my family and some close friends a few weeks ago, which has been a big weight off my shoulders. It's been very tough though, living in a country where mental health care is not really a thing that is available.

Still struggling overall, but trying a few things. Play football twice a week now, which gets me out. I'm the one who organizes it so it forces me to go. It's like everything else, I literally have to drag myself out of the house. Also changed my diet and drinking less. My issue has always been that I feel good for a little while, but that rarely lasts long...I end up back into a hole.

Anyway, happy to have found this thread

BohsCeltic

clever user name wrote: »

Hi everyone. Just found this thread, have been reading through it. Hope you're all doing ok today.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 3 years ago (going on way longer than that though). My anxiety has never been overly bad, it only really came on after a particular incident, and in the 4 years since has calmed down quite a bit. The depression has not been so kind. Shortly after I sought some professional assistance I ended up moving abroad (again). Been away since. Hindsight I should have stayed at home for a little while longer if I'm honest. Finally told my family and some close friends a few weeks ago, which has been a big weight off my shoulders. It's been very tough though, living in a country where mental health care is not really a thing that is available.

Still struggling overall, but trying a few things. Play football twice a week now, which gets me out. I'm the one who organizes it so it forces me to go. It's like everything else, I literally have to drag myself out of the house. Also changed my diet and drinking less. My issue has always been that I feel good for a little while, but that rarely lasts long...I end up back into a hole.

Anyway, happy to have found this thread

I think that happens to all of us, good day's and bad days. Drinking doesn't help. Trust me, i was using that to help my depression but it just made things worse, much worse.

clever user name

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I think that happens to all of us, good day's and bad days. Drinking doesn't help. Trust me, i was using that to help my depression but it just made things worse, much worse.

Yeah I definitely agree, I do feel better. I've never been a heavy drinker, but 3 times a week, even if it was only a couple of beers, definitely didn't help.

Skybirdjb

clever user name wrote: »

Hi everyone. Just found this thread, have been reading through it. Hope you're all doing ok today.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 3 years ago (going on way longer than that though). My anxiety has never been overly bad, it only really came on after a particular incident, and in the 4 years since has calmed down quite a bit. The depression has not been so kind. Shortly after I sought some professional assistance I ended up moving abroad (again). Been away since. Hindsight I should have stayed at home for a little while longer if I'm honest. Finally told my family and some close friends a few weeks ago, which has been a big weight off my shoulders. It's been very tough though, living in a country where mental health care is not really a thing that is available.

Still struggling overall, but trying a few things. Play football twice a week now, which gets me out. I'm the one who organizes it so it forces me to go. It's like everything else, I literally have to drag myself out of the house. Also changed my diet and drinking less. My issue has always been that I feel good for a little while, but that rarely lasts long...I end up back into a hole.

Anyway, happy to have found this thread

Hi and welcome ! Feel free to vent here whenever you feel the need
You sound like you are doing loads and being very pro active in helping yourself that's great !!
I'm the same feel good for a few days then slip into a dark hole and it's so so hard to get out of it seems to be the way it goes

I had the worst night so tired now

BohsCeltic

clever user name wrote: »

Yeah I definitely agree, I do feel better. I've never been a heavy drinker, but 3 times a week, even if it was only a couple of beers, definitely didn't help.

I used to be the same like that. But then it got to the stage that i am drinking everyday. It's ruining my life and the people that love me.
I was offered to go into detox but it's far away and you have to stay for 3 months. I cannot do that due to my anxiety.

I don't know what to do anymore, I am damaging my body which makes me worry even more.

clever user name

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Hi and welcome ! Feel free to vent here whenever you feel the need
You sound like you are doing loads and being very pro active in helping yourself that's great !!
I'm the same feel good for a few days then slip into a dark hole and it's so so hard to get out of it seems to be the way it goes

I had the worst night so tired now

My work department introduced an activity were we got a free fitness watch and have to do a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. If you fail any day you have to pay for the watch :pac: So that has actually helped a lot.

To be honest I don't really have much of a choice regarding pro-active. Because I live abroad and in a country where mental health is not even a thing, if I'm not pro-active and don't force myself to do things I know I'll end up a lot worse. Probably a somewhat negative way to look at it, but keeps me going I suppose.

clever user name

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I used to be the same like that. But then it got to the stage that i am drinking everyday. It's ruining my life and the people that love me.
I was offered to go into detox but it's far away and you have to stay for 3 months. I cannot do that due to my anxiety.

I don't know what to do anymore, I am damaging my body which makes me worry even more.

It's not easy. For me it was just a way to let go and not have to think about anything. Just having 3 beers would make me feel somewhat normal again, which was a very brief relief. I used to be a lot worse about 3 years ago. For about 6 months I was drinking most days. Not heavily, but consistently.

I really can't give much advice other than I pretty much guilt tripped myself into cutting down. Forced myself to limit it to the weekend. I never actually got any help with this, so I'm not even sure what is the right way to go about these things. All I know is it took me quite a few months to even get to that point in the first place, with plenty of slip ups.

BohsCeltic

clever user name wrote: »

It's not easy. For me it was just a way to let go and not have to think about anything. Just having 3 beers would make me feel somewhat normal again, which was a very brief relief. I used to be a lot worse about 3 years ago. For about 6 months I was drinking most days. Not heavily, but consistently.

I really can't give much advice other than I pretty much guilt tripped myself into cutting down. Forced myself to limit it to the weekend. I never actually got any help with this, so I'm not even sure what is the right way to go about these things. All I know is it took me quite a few months to even get to that point in the first place, with plenty of slip ups.

I never drink to get drunk. If i have a drink i will drink slowly but over the whole day. Cannot remember the last time i was drunk. My body has just built up a tolerance to it.
Something always triggers me to drink.
I have seeked help about it. Have librium but haven't taken one yet. Afraid that my anxiety will get worse if i don't drink but in reality it's not the real solution.

I'm talking about waking up in the morning and having a drink. That's how bad i am. That's how i am still out sick from work, anxiety, depression and drink is not a good combination.
Now i have my ex sending me messages which isn't helping my brain. Everyone say's block or change number but it's hard.

Don't know what to do anymore, Just feeling so low.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote:

I don't know what to do anymore, I am damaging my body which makes me worry even more.

I'm in the same boat. Genuinely man and I know this is against forum rules slightly, but if you ever need to PM about the drinking side, I'm always here. Drinking especially with mental issues can be a very very slippery slope.

Be careful man. That's what happened to me.

clever user name

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I never drink to get drunk. If i have a drink i will drink slowly but over the whole day. Cannot remember the last time i was drunk. My body has just built up a tolerance to it.
Something always triggers me to drink.
I have seeked help about it. Have librium but haven't taken one yet. Afraid that my anxiety will get worse if i don't drink but in reality it's not the real solution.

I'm talking about waking up in the morning and having a drink. That's how bad i am. That's how i am still out sick from work, anxiety, depression and drink is not a good combination.
Now i have my ex sending me messages which isn't helping my brain. Everyone say's block or change number but it's hard.

Don't know what to do anymore, Just feeling so low.

Same as myself dude, I never drank to get drunk. Actually hate being drunk to be honest, nothing worse. Always just drank enough to get that feeling of being able to let go, if that makes sense.

And like you there's times I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling that right now. I just try to get on with things as best i can. At the end of the day I'm a stubborn bastard. I get angry at myself, I curse at myself in the mirror saying that this crap is not getting the better of me. Comes in waves. I'm not saying this a solution, it's not. But let it all from time to time, scream if you need to, cry if you need to, punch the wall if you need to, or just talk to someone as openly as you can I've done all four countless times in the past few months. Just don't let keep it inside, that's when things get dark. Trust me, I know.

If you need to have a chat I'm available any time...though I am 7 hours ahead haha. Stay strong pal.

BohsCeltic

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm in the same boat. Genuinely man and I know this is against forum rules slightly, but if you ever need to PM about the drinking side, I'm always here. Drinking especially with mental issues can be a very very slippery slope.

Be careful man. That's what happened to me.

Thanks, i have to fight this. And i have good support.

clever user name wrote: »

Same as myself dude, I never drank to get drunk. Actually hate being drunk to be honest, nothing worse. Always just drank enough to get that feeling of being able to let go, if that makes sense.

And like you there's times I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling that right now. I just try to get on with things as best i can. At the end of the day I'm a stubborn bastard. I get angry at myself, I curse at myself in the mirror saying that this crap is not getting the better of me. Comes in waves. I'm not saying this a solution, it's not. But let it all from time to time, scream if you need to, cry if you need to, punch the wall if you need to, or just talk to someone as openly as you can I've done all four countless times in the past few months. Just don't let keep it inside, that's when things get dark. Trust me, I know.

If you need to have a chat I'm available any time...though I am 7 hours ahead haha. Stay strong pal.

Thank you. My ex is 6 hours ahead so makes it more difficult. I have already punched many walls and cried much. That's not the real me. I think i have to cut all ties with her as she makes my brain think so much. I done everything good for her and just feel cheated.
Her loss really, But she never seemed to help me when i am feeling low.
Just had my Nephews at my home a while ago and they all just smiled at me. Made my mood good.

Will try eat soon, haven't eaten all day. Need to force myself but in reality i just want to climb back into bed and sleep.

My ex just said i need to grow up and be a proper man, hardly helping my thoughts.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote:

My ex just said i need to grow up and be a proper man, hardly helping my thoughts.

She sounds so lovely.......

You'll be fine man.

clever user name

BohsCeltic wrote: »

My ex just said i need to grow up and be a proper man, hardly helping my thoughts.

Quite possibly the worst thing anyone could say. My girlfriend and I are hanging by a thread, but she understands (as much as she can) and would never say anything even remotely close to that.

From the time difference I'm guessing she's Asian. Asia is pretty far behind when it comes to such topics, way behind. I know first hand. So while there needs to be a little leeway given, she obviously hasn't even gone to the bother of researching it. You can do better man.

BohsCeltic

Deleted User wrote: »

She sounds so lovely.......

You'll be fine man.

clever user name wrote: »

Quite possibly the worst thing anyone could say. My girlfriend and I are hanging by a thread, but she understands (as much as she can) and would never say anything even remotely close to that.

From the time difference I'm guessing she's Asian. Asia is pretty far behind when it comes to such topics, way behind. I know first hand. So while there needs to be a little leeway given, she obviously hasn't even gone to the bother of researching it. You can do better man.

I just spoke to her there, shes going out now to get food and maybe have some whiskey. 2 hours ago she just wanted to stay at home.

She's never good enough for me but still hard to let go, my brain melted now but she doesn't give a shi*. What annoys me is that i treated her really good and also her family. She is always complaining about having no money but yet she can go out and drink. She borrows then makes a big problem and expects me to fix .
She never showed any compassion when i told her i have depression. She basically just laughed in my face. I am raging now. Even when my friend took his own life she just said up to him to do that. That's not human. That's evil.

No wonder my brain is overthinking. Trying to help someone have a better life and get stabbed in the back.

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I just spoke to her there, shes going out now to get food and maybe have some whiskey. 2 hours ago she just wanted to stay at home.

She's never good enough for me but still hard to let go, my brain melted now but she doesn't give a shi*. What annoys me is that i treated her really good and also her family. She is always complaining about having no money but yet she can go out and drink. She borrows then makes a big problem and expects me to fix .
She never showed any compassion when i told her i have depression. She basically just laughed in my face. I am raging now. Even when my friend took his own life she just said up to him to do that. That's not human. That's evil.

No wonder my brain is overthinking. Trying to help someone have a better life and get stabbed in the back.

I know all about been used and spit out. I was always there for an ex, ALL THE TIME no matter what I put her first... the time came and I needed her... she erased me from her life out of the blue. People are selfish and pure evil at times.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I know all about been used and spit out. I was always there for an ex, ALL THE TIME no matter what I put her first... the time came and I needed her... she erased me from her life out of the blue. People are selfish and pure evil at times.

I brought her all over Thailand and Vietnam, Paid for everything, flights, nice hotels e.t.c. She just called me there drunk and complaining about me when i didn't do nothing wrong.

Head melting again.

RabbleRouser2k

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I brought her all over Thailand and Vietnam, Paid for everything, flights, nice hotels e.t.c. She just called me there drunk and complaining about me when i didn't do nothing wrong.

Head melting again.

Might be time to block her on your phone. You've split up, she's not in your life anymore-just delete her outta your life.

Cos this sounds toxic.I mean, what she's doing to you sounds toxic, and you have to look out for you.

BohsCeltic

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Might be time to block her on your phone. You've split up, she's not in your life anymore-just delete her outta your life.

Cos this sounds toxic.I mean, what she's doing to you sounds toxic, and you have to look out for you.

Everyone else said the same to me, maybe time to listen to the people that know me. 3 years of torture with her in reality. Now she's turned off the call and on another call after she said she needed to sleep.
I never ever would hit a girl but she has hurt me so much i would love to punch her in the face. That's how so much she has angered me.

Tomorrow she will probably try call me but i won't answer. Fecking evil evil woman after everything i done for her.



That's why my depression is not being helped.

I sit alone now with my brain thinking much. I know i won't sleep good.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote:

I sit alone now with my brain thinking much. I know i won't sleep good.

Get yourself onto tinder buddy

SMC92Ian

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Everyone else said the same to me, maybe time to listen to the people that know me. 3 years of torture with her in reality. Now she's turned off the call and on another call after she said she needed to sleep.
I never ever would hit a girl but she has hurt me so much i would love to punch her in the face. That's how so much she has angered me.

Tomorrow she will probably try call me but i won't answer. Fecking evil evil woman after everything i done for her.



That's why my depression is not being helped.

I sit alone now with my brain thinking much. I know i won't sleep good.

Block and delete her. It'll be hard but it needs to be done.

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Block and delete her. It'll be hard but it needs to be done.

The way i am thinking now i would love to hurt her so much and i could but that is not me. I'm a bigger person.

She is stuck with a tattoo of my football team for life now , the same one i have. Maybe one day she will realize that she messed up.

I think she is bi polar as one minute she is ok then next she changes. Not good for me and all i do is try help, instead of helping myself.