Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

One More Toy

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Me too. This money would definitely up my mood and get me back into work. I told the specialist this too and that i do want to go back to work but i need my car and being on IB i cannot afford to run the car. Frustrating.

I'm extremely worried now they'll reject my claim after reading the post above

banie01

BohsCeltic wrote: »

.

Mental health is a disability and i have been addressing it so i'm probably going to have to fight my case

I 100% agree with you.
There is a difference between disability and disablement however and it is a difference that Irish Life are known and apt to exploit.

The terms of the policy indicate that disablement means inability to be gainfully employed.
Irish Life will and do take the view that without full impairment the policy is not liable.
The specialist report confirming the issue is totally debilitating is crucial to the success of the initial claim.
If the specialist deems partial or incomplete disablement, Irish Life will not pay the claim and the appeals process must be engaged with.

BohsCeltic

banie01 wrote: »

I 100% agree with you.
There is a difference between disability and disablement however and it is a difference that Irish Life are known and apt to exploit.

The terms of the policy indicate that disablement means inability to be gainfully employed.
Irish Life will and do take the view that without full impairment the policy is not liable.
The specialist report confirming the issue is totally debilitating is crucial to the success of the initial claim.
If the specialist deems partial or incomplete disablement, Irish Life will not pay the claim and the appeals process must be engaged with.

My policy is through the company group scheme through a broker. It states that they will also pay for any special treatment that may encourage or help me to get back into work.
I've been with the company now for over 7 years and they want be back for sure. I just need to be ready and this is not helping me at all, it's making things worse.
I was in no fit state of mind to go back to work but i did and relapsed then, it was pressure from the main manager forcing me to go back and i have told them this.

I'll wait for the letter in the post next week now, already worrying about what it will say.

banie01

BohsCeltic wrote: »

My policy is through the company group scheme through a broker. It states that they will also pay for any special treatment that may encourage or help me to get back into work.
I've been with the company now for over 7 years and they want be back for sure. I just need to be ready and this is not helping me at all, it's making things worse.
I was in no fit state of mind to go back to work but i did and relapsed then, it was pressure from the main manager forcing me to go back and i have told them this.

I'll wait for the letter in the post next week now, already worrying about what it will say.

Look I know it's a downer to be told expect the worst.
That said, dependent upon the report their specialist issues it may not even be an issue for you.
That and the support services offered do make a big difference regardless of the top up payment.
Best of luck in your recoveries.

One More Toy

Sick to my stomach that my income protection claim will be denied

Red Lightning

One More Toy wrote:

Sick to my stomach that my income protection claim will be denied

Nothing you can do ATM so that's wasted energy worrying. Easier said than done but you can do it. Anytime it comes into your head, accept that it's there but just tell yourself that you can't do anything ATM and you will deal with it when the time comes.

Skybirdjb

Have another meeting in work tomorrow so so anxious over it . Anyone else notice ocd type symptoms with the anxiety??

banie01

One More Toy wrote: »

Sick to my stomach that my income protection claim will be denied

That has not been said, and tbh you need to avoid catastrophising your thoughts regarding an initial refusal.
I know it's easily said, but what is to be gained by worrying yourself sick?

The report from the IL specialist is crucial. If they deem you unfit for full time work, the claim will be paid.
If they deem you able for even part time work it will be refused.

All you can do is ensure that you have all your ducks in a row should the initial claim be refused.

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

Sick to my stomach that my income protection claim will be denied

I'm trying to block it out of my mind. My 75 year old Mother just said to me ,que sera sera whatever will be will be .
She is right.

My back up plan is that i was basically forced back into work by my employer against Doctor's advice which caused me to relapse.
Even work company Doctor said that was completely wrong from my employer.

I can just hope. Anxious waiting for the postman to come. If my job offered me redundancy i would take it in a heartbeat.

Get myself sorted and start fresh with maybe a job nearer to my home.

I had a plan but most of it relies on my claim being approved.

BohsCeltic

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Have another meeting in work tomorrow so so anxious over it . Anyone else notice ocd type symptoms with the anxiety??

Yep. If i see 2 pairs of shoes facing the wrong way i will have to fix because i think something bad might happen.
CBT helped me as now i won't bother fixing them and true nothing bad happened. Now i just laugh things like that off and think what an idiot i was. Even shower creams in the bathroom had to be facing the right way.
Doesn't help the mind at all.

BohsCeltic

Also my ex is still going through my brain. Literally just came into my room and a folder fell down and the first thing that fell out of it was a photo of her smiling with me.
I know everyone keeps telling me to let her go but when you are feeling down it's sometimes hard. Now it was my decision to end the relationship as she was never good enough for me but i still have that feeling inside. I don't want to fall back into the same trap i was in before if that makes sense. Easier said than done though.

BohsCeltic

And still not able to sleep. This is when my mind goes into overdrive. Alone and thinking much.
When i am awake and my family are here during the day i'd prefer to be alone and sleep.

But i done one positive thing earlier.
I am doing Darkness into Light this weekend in the Phoenix Park. Just signed up. Doing it for myself but also for my friends father who took his own life and also another good friend of mine who done the same. All very recently too.

I wan't to support my friend as i know it will be tough for him but he was delighted that i am going.

Unity is strength .

lbc2019

Woke at 3/4 so decided to get early train to work. First day back after being out

Gremlinertia

BohsCeltic wrote: »

And still not able to sleep. This is when my mind goes into overdrive. Alone and thinking much.
When i am awake and my family are here during the day i'd prefer to be alone and sleep.

But i done one positive thing earlier.
I am doing Darkness into Light this weekend in the Phoenix Park. Just signed up. Doing it for myself but also for my friends father who took his own life and also another good friend of mine who done the same. All very recently too.

I wan't to support my friend as i know it will be tough for him but he was delighted that i am going.

Unity is strength .

I work nights pretty much because it's when my brain gets all hyperactive, i try doing a day here and there but i just can't seem to manage it as well as i do nights..

Fair play for doing the DIL walk i did a good few when it started but haven't been able to get it off recently

Gremlinertia

lbc2019 wrote: »

Woke at 3/4 so decided to get early train to work. First day back after being out

Nice one, fingers crossed you have a good day

lbc2019

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Nice one, fingers crossed you have a good day

Thanks

Skybirdjb

lbc2019 wrote: »

Woke at 3/4 so decided to get early train to work. First day back after being out

Good luck !! That's a brilliant step forward

One More Toy

Just got my illness benefit form, thank God I didn't have to see the doctor and fork out sixty quid

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

Just got my illness benefit form, thank God I didn't have to see the doctor and fork out sixty quid

How long have you been out for ? I was forking 60 quid but only when i had to go for a review with Doctor but still expensive. Applied for medical card and got it.

One More Toy

BohsCeltic wrote: »

How long have you been out for ? I was forking 60 quid but only when i had to go for a review with Doctor but still expensive. Applied for medical card and got it.

This is my 7th month, apparently they'll tell me when I need a review by the doctor so happy days for now, 60 quid is a lot of groceries. That reminds me must apply for a medical card

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

This is my 7th month, apparently they'll tell me when I need a review by the doctor so happy days for now, 60 quid is a lot of groceries. That reminds me must apply for a medical card

Just do it online, it's simple. Of course 60 quid would get you much food. I wish i had applied sooner. At one stage i had to agree to pay them a fiver a week for the fee. That's the crap thing about being on IB. Just makes you even more down.

Pissartist

Just wondering if anyone here is suffering in the same way as me, or were and changed something.
I've been on sertraline for 3 years gradually building up to 150mgs a day.
Eachtime i get an increase i get a bit of a lift for a couple of weeks and then back to the usual self torture.
My point is i'm just self medicating with beer and other things to try dull the pain but nothing is working, my prescription is up in a couple of days, should i try another type of anti dep ? I can't afford counselling so it's the only route i can take.
Any advice would be appreciated and i realise no one here is a doctor it's just some opinions id like to hear from fellow sufferers

BohsCeltic

Pissartist wrote: »

Just wondering if anyone here is suffering in the same way as me, or were and changed something.
I've been on sertraline for 3 years gradually building up to 150mgs a day.
Eachtime i get an increase i get a bit of a lift for a couple of weeks and then back to the usual self torture.
My point is i'm just self medicating with beer and other things to try dull the pain but nothing is working, my prescription is up in a couple of days, should i try another type of anti dep ? I can't afford counselling so it's the only route i can take.
Any advice would be appreciated and i realise no one here is a doctor it's just some opinions id like to hear from fellow sufferers

Well self medicating with beer ultimately led to my downfall. It's a depressant but not the best medicine. Best speak to your GP and ask for a change. I'm on Citalopram and it's helping.

One More Toy

Pissartist wrote: »

Just wondering if anyone here is suffering in the same way as me, or were and changed something.
I've been on sertraline for 3 years gradually building up to 150mgs a day.
Eachtime i get an increase i get a bit of a lift for a couple of weeks and then back to the usual self torture.
My point is i'm just self medicating with beer and other things to try dull the pain but nothing is working, my prescription is up in a couple of days, should i try another type of anti dep ? I can't afford counselling so it's the only route i can take.
Any advice would be appreciated and i realise no one here is a doctor it's just some opinions id like to hear from fellow sufferers

Not connected but my mind.ie do cheap online counselling if you show them how low your income is

One More Toy

Finding being alone during the day very difficult, trying to fill it with chores. Anyone else the same?

Skybirdjb

One More Toy wrote: »

Finding being alone during the day very difficult, trying to fill it with chores. Anyone else the same?

Must be very hard being on your own - we are always here tho if you need a rant/chat
I'm the opposite I don't get a minute to myself with a very busy and mad 9 month old to look after ! Sometimes I would love a little time on my own

SMC92Ian

One More Toy wrote: »

Finding being alone during the day very difficult, trying to fill it with chores. Anyone else the same?

I'm the same, am basically alone 24/7 and sleep, YouTube or just dick around with random hobbies... unemployed too so no reason to go out.

lbc2019

Home. Day 1 done. Wrecked. My bed. I live alone too. Can be great but can get in on you other times

gumballdarwin

long long time lurker of this thread and i have to say it helped me very much during a pretty dark period of my life about 2 years ago. I always had a level of anxious-ness about things, but an "incident" in work really shook me up. I'm pretty sure I went into a form of depression, nothing could help me sort of viewpoint. I attended my GP, had blood tests. Turned out I had high iron levels, but I also went through about 6 sessions of CBT. Pretty sure I read through this entire thread from the beginning and I got to a point where I was not "depressed" and in decent form but still a level of brain fog and the worst part - panic attacks.

I would basically have a massive sense of dread attending meetings in work. Im really good at my job and I actually find it quite easy but for some reason i would just have this horrible sinking feel once a meeting was mentioned and it would get worse and worse until 1 of 2 things happened. I would walk out on a call or I would just suffer through until it passed. Eventually these passed away until more recently. Theres a couple of things that have popped recently and I guess these have triggered me. Hopefully I can get back to my normal self in due course, but I have to say anyone who can find the cure for GAD would be a very rich person.

Gremlinertia - thank you for all your posts. You probably don't realise it but you have really helped me. Also I won't say the cliched chin up bull**** that family members have said to me, but I will say it is important to let people know exactly whats going on with you. I told my boss 2 years ago and a very close colleague, and also my partner. So at least I have someone to chat with when the fear sets in. Perhaps a visit to the GP is on my cards.

take care everyone !

BohsCeltic

SMC92Ian wrote: »

I'm the same, am basically alone 24/7 and sleep, YouTube or just dick around with random hobbies... unemployed too so no reason to go out.

Mate being unemployed doesn't mean you have no reason to go out. There's many free things to do outside.

Why not go to your local Dog rescue Center even just for a look. I find my 2 Dogs help me so much. Maybe you might come home with one.

Yesterday I sat outside my back garden feeling low, one of my dog's (Border Collie/Lab cross) kept coming over to me rubbing up against me and throwing her paw at me. I just thought she was trying to annoy me but she wasn't, she was looking for my attention and to give me affection.
They can sense when people aren't feeling good.

When i had the chance of moving to Thailand to work there were some reasons stopping me. My family, friends and my 2 dogs. I didn't want to abandon them.

I just knew that being so far away from all of them might not help me at all. I might regret it but being in a foreign country with depression might have made things worse.