Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Hugo Stiglitz

Shint0 wrote: »

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Seriously?

Well there was a professional disagreement about the outcome of my ADHD assessment not so long ago. One mental health professional disagreed and said the team conducting the assessment got it gone and was shocked how they did not diagnose me with it as he had a lot of experience working with ADHD and voiced his opinions to the consultant that I had been assigned to. Rather than actually challenge her colleagues about the outcome she completely tried to turn the issue on its head and proceeded to tell me that I, myself am the problem, that there is no medication that can FIX me and clearly I must have felt REJECTED as a child. The other collegue who advocated on my behalf just sat there speechlesss in shock in the meeting clearly disgusted. He realised I clearly needed ADHD meds but his hands were tied.

So finally after figuring out my whole life the missing piece of the jigsaw and also clearly undiagnosed throughout my family I was sent on my merry way. Bottom line is don't ever try to get assessed in Ireland for ADHD as an adult. You won't be entertained which makes the whole concept of having an adult adhd assesssment unit completely pointless. I had already been told that by a few different sources before the assessment so I wasn't surprised. Taking lithium for 15 years was also pointless I was told as clearly it was ME that was the problem. Just lovely!!

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

Shint0

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

Thanks
I came out of that meeting feeling almost suicidal, completely hopeless and I hadn't had suicidal thoughts in years. Some mental health professionals can actually do more harm than good and don't always act within the best interests of patients. Not exactly ethical.

Hugo Stiglitz

Shint0 wrote: »

Thanks
I came out of that meeting feeling almost suicidal, completely hopeless and I hadn't had suicidal thoughts in years. Some mental health professionals can actually do more harm than good and don't always act within the best interests of patients. Not exactly ethical.

That's so rough.

Shint0

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

That's so rough.

Thanks Hugo. Yes it is rough but I'm big and bold enough now to know that sometimes there aren't any fairytale endings and you just got to roll with the punches.

Hugo Stiglitz

Shint0 wrote: »

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

That's so rough.

Thanks Hugo. Yes it is rough but I'm big and bold enough now to know that sometimes there aren't any fairytale endings and you just got to roll with the punches.

There should be other options. Nobody should just be left to suffer.

Gremlinertia

The unfortunate truth is sometimes you come up against a wall with treatments and/or diagnosis, it has happened me a couple of times and has taken the wind out of my sails and sent me into major depressive funks. When i get tired of that phase then i go back to gp and try to discuss another way of doing things/a different type of specialist to see. The 14th anniversary of my original injury was a few days ago and i'm still struggling to do anything to prevent short or long term relief..

Tell me how

Gremlinertia wrote:

The unfortunate truth is sometimes you come up against a wall with treatments and/or diagnosis, it has happened me a couple of times and has taken the wind out of my sails and sent me into major depressive funks. When i get tired of that phase then i go back to gp and try to discuss another way of doing things/a different type of specialist to see. The 14th anniversary of my original injury was a few days ago and i'm still struggling to do anything to prevent short or long term relief..

What a horrible thing to be dealing with something from that long ago every day.
Unfortunately, one anniversary you always remember I bet.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The unfortunate truth is sometimes you come up against a wall with treatments and/or diagnosis, it has happened me a couple of times and has taken the wind out of my sails and sent me into major depressive funks. When i get tired of that phase then i go back to gp and try to discuss another way of doing things/a different type of specialist to see. The 14th anniversary of my original injury was a few days ago and i'm still struggling to do anything to prevent short or long term relief..

Sorry to hear that, Grem.

These depressive funks are contagious it seems.

I hope your mind gets some peace there.

Gremlinertia

It's many years ago, so i've become kinda used to it, but fairly tired all the same.. Another procedure now booked, another wait for it to come through. How are you doing guys?.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's many years ago, so i've become kinda used to it, but fairly tired all the same.. Another procedure now booked, another wait for it to come through. How are you doing guys?.

Hopefully it'll be a short wait.

Bit funky this evening. Ruminating like crazy.

Gremlinertia

Rumination is a pig. It's the one thing i fall into daily, all the what if's, buts and maybes don't make a blind bit of difference to who or how i am now. Have to cut it off frequently hugs to you Hugo

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Rumination is a pig. It's the one thing i fall into daily, all the what if's, buts and maybes don't make a blind bit of difference to who or how i am now. Have to cut it off frequently hugs to you Hugo

Thanks, Grem.

Is it a bit crazy that sometimes I forget to try call my mind back, and actually get lost in the thoughts?

Gremlinertia

Not at all, i did that incessantly for years. I'd ferociously bitter and angry over things i couldn't change, it's crazy where you can drive yourself to..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Not at all, i did that incessantly for years. I'd ferociously bitter and angry over things i couldn't change, it's crazy where you can drive yourself to..

I'm very much in that state now. It's an increasingly slippery slope.

I've touched on it with my counsellor. This might need to become our main target from now on because this is despairing.

Gremlinertia

Yeah it was a big stumbling block for me, had to work very hard on it, have to keep at it still because it's a well established habit of mine.. Hopefully you too will be able to tackle it soon..

Hugo Stiglitz

Did you ever find yourself embarrassed to mention things in counselling?

Gremlinertia

Absolutely yes. I can't to this day mention the content of intrusive thoughts, also terrible at communicating the strength of my reactions to/feelings about things

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Absolutely yes. I can't to this day mention the content of intrusive thoughts, also terrible at communicating the strength of my reactions to/feelings about things

Same here. I'm actually very cheery with my counsellor, and seem to downplay my emotions etc. I wonder why we do that.

Gremlinertia

For me in the early days in particular i was terrified i would be arrested or something completely irrational. Another problem was/is that i'd feel like i was wasting people's time because i was either not sick enough or completely too far gone..

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Same here. I'm actually very cheery with my counsellor, and seem to downplay my emotions etc. I wonder why we do that.

Subconsciously feel we don't matter enough to make a big deal of it I bet.

I always wondered why if the psyche is so focused on survival and safety, why do some dwell so much on things which don't seem to help the individual.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

For me in the early days in particular i was terrified i would be arrested or something completely irrational. Another problem was/is that i'd feel like i was wasting people's time because i was either not sick enough or completely too far gone..

Yeah, sometimes it's a bit of self preservation at play.

Tell me how wrote: »

Subconsciously feel we don't matter enough to make a big deal of it I bet.

I always wondered why if the psyche is so focused on survival and safety, why do some dwell so much on things which don't seem to help the individual.

Both are great points there, TMH.

Gremlinertia

We are our own worst critics and often don't feel worthy of help, despite how hard we have to fight for the help in the first place. Complicated little beings are we!.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

We are our own worst critics and often don't feel worthy of help, despite how hard we have to fight for the help in the first place. Complicated little beings are we!.

Our cracked side needs a good kick up the arse!

Gremlinertia

Oh if only man

Hugo Stiglitz

I'm gonna try get some sleep. I get extremely cranky and emotional without it! Haha

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for us all.

Night!

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for us all.

Well, was today better Hugo? I hope it was.

Shint0

There's an anniversary mass coming up that I'm expected to attend. I'm really not in a good space these days and don't want to go. I know I will be interrogated as to why I'm not going or if I just don't show up and I don't appreciate having to explain myself or justify myself to anybody. It's all just for appearances anyway as there is little to zero relationship between the family members largely in part as a legacy of the deceased.
I know everybody's situation is different but what do others do when there's something you are expected to do or attend and you really don't feel up to it? Do you go and just grin and bear it or just go with your own feelings and what seems best for you?

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for us all.

Well, was today better Hugo? I hope it was.

Was a little poopy there yesterday, but I seem to be coming out of it today thankfully. I have plenty to discuss at my next counselling session! Oh how I pity the poor listener!

Thanks for the kind words there, TMH. x

Hope things are good there too.

Hugo Stiglitz

Shint0 wrote: »

There's an anniversary mass coming up that I'm expected to attend. I'm really not in a good space these days and don't want to go. I know I will be interrogated as to why I'm not going or if I just don't show up and I don't appreciate having to explain myself or justify myself to anybody. It's all just for appearances anyway as there is little to zero relationship between the family members largely in part as a legacy of the deceased.
I know everybody's situation is different but what do others do when there's something you are expected to do or attend and you really don't feel up to it? Do you go and just grin and bear it or just go with your own feelings and what seems best for you?

Sorry to hear that, Shinto. That's a lot of pressure to be facing there.

I'd be thinking that you should just go with your own feelings, but I understand that there are certain expectations placed on you there, and that there can be a need to show a brave face at times.

Could you possibly feign being physically ill, like the flu or an upset belly?

Gremlinertia

Shint0 wrote: »

There's an anniversary mass coming up that I'm expected to attend. I'm really not in a good space these days and don't want to go. I know I will be interrogated as to why I'm not going or if I just don't show up and I don't appreciate having to explain myself or justify myself to anybody. It's all just for appearances anyway as there is little to zero relationship between the family members largely in part as a legacy of the deceased.
I know everybody's situation is different but what do others do when there's something you are expected to do or attend and you really don't feel up to it? Do you go and just grin and bear it or just go with your own feelings and what seems best for you?

Ugh, tough one. Would these people hear you if you said you didn't feel up to it?. If not you may have to grin and bear it..