Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Skybirdjb

TG1 wrote: »

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Hi tg1 nice to hear from you ! How are you ??

Good, thanks for asking. Life has given me a few kicks in the teeth in the last while and it's been tough to keep the anxiety under control as a result, but I've been managing for the most part.

How have you been

A bit like u having a rough time but trying to keep the head up and anxiety under control !
It’s a daily task really isn’t it ?
Jelly tots help lol . And everyone here

One More Toy

Feeling really suicidal since coming off lithium. Also benzodiazipine withdrawal probably.

I have zero friends, no one ever contacts me first. I'm so far behind academically and professionally my friends that I don't care to see them anyway

banie01

One More Toy wrote: »

Feeling really suicidal since coming off lithium. Also benzodiazipine withdrawal probably.

I have zero friends, no one ever contacts me first. I'm so far behind academically and professionally my friends that I don't care to see them anyway

OMT, coming off both of those meds at the same time isn't the best in terms of timing or indeed self-care.
Not intended to be a criticism, you know yourself how your body is responding.

Don't dwell on being academically or professionally behind your friends.
If they are your friends, that doesn't matter and I'd hazard a guess that if you just ask that they will be happy to help you out.
Be it via study buddying, work support or just lending an ear.

I'm starting back to college on Monday and quite honestly I expect to be swamped in the 1st semester.
I have been out of formal education over 20yrs and am returning to a class full of fresh faced 17/18y.o children :P

But...
Its a challenge, and I know from already having engaged with the Access team and MSO office that chaplaincy, counselling and other supports are all at hand.

Asking for help, be it an extension on a paper, a direction on study goals or a professional query!
Is not a weakness!
It is a recognition that you need to care for yourself and may need some help doing it.

The suicidal thoughts do seem to have been lingering with you for a couple of weeks now?
Have you discussed them with your GP in the last week or so?
Saturday is never the best of days to attend A+E but if those thoughts are persisting do you have a Mental Health worker?
Or someone that you can speak to?

One More Toy

banie01 wrote: »

OMT, coming off both of those meds at the same time isn't the best in terms of timing or indeed self-care.
Not intended to be a criticism, you know yourself how your body is responding.

Don't dwell on being academically or professionally behind your friends.
If they are your friends, that doesn't matter and I'd hazard a guess that if you just ask that they will be happy to help you out.
Be it via study buddying, work support or just lending an ear.

I'm starting back to college on Monday and quite honestly I expect to be swamped in the 1st semester.
I have been out of formal education over 20yrs and am returning to a class full of fresh faced 17/18y.o children :P

But...
Its a challenge, and I know from already having engaged with the Access team and MSO office that chaplaincy, counselling and other supports are all at hand.

Asking for help, be it an extension on a paper, a direction on study goals or a professional query!
Is not a weakness!
It is a recognition that you need to care for yourself and may need some help doing it.

The suicidal thoughts do seem to have been lingering with you for a couple of weeks now?
Have you discussed them with your GP in the last week or so?
Saturday is never the best of days to attend A+E but if those thoughts are persisting do you have a Mental Health worker?
Or someone that you can speak to?

You can be the annoying mature student who gets As in everything I'm so jealous I'd love to be back in college

They have been lingering, I have mentioned it to my psychiatrist but they didn't really seem to care. Probably just put it down to the lithium withdrawal and disregard it.

Gremlinertia

Been going through the wringer myself a bit lately so I can empathise OMT. I know helplines feel a bit ineffective in times like this but keep them in mind.. I find the texting handy the odd time..

Gremlinertia

Been going through the wringer myself a bit lately so I can empathise OMT. I know helplines feel a bit ineffective in times like this but keep them in mind.. I find the texting handy the odd time..

banie01

One More Toy wrote: »

They have been lingering, I have mentioned it to my psychiatrist but they didn't really seem to care. Probably just put it down to the lithium withdrawal and disregard it.

I'm not a medical professional, but my advice given how long those thoughts are persisting and that you are weaning off 2 fairly significant psycho active meds would be to seek out professional care by hospital if you need to.

Mind yourself and keep safe!

BohsCeltic

MOD edit: as per charter offers of personal communication are not allowed, see below

Boards HQ has expressed serious concerns about offering to exchange private messages where the nature of such messages is that of counseling/support of distressed or vulnerable users. Posters are leaving themselves open to being hurt or involved in a situation they cannot manage. We understand that sending such messages can come from a place of care and concern but doing so can create a lot of stress for you. If you see offers of such PMs or receive a PM attempting to offer off-thread support, please report it.

Skybirdjb

We are all here for you omt always .
Virtual hugs your way

Gremlinertia

I am so sick of swinging between a giddy almost manic humour to tearful despair. I'm blasted exhausted trying to keep a level head.. New psych is very good but it's really so tough i feel like i regret trying..

OMT i hope your night is going ok..

banie01

Hope you are doing ok Grem.
I know a little bit of what you mean regarding the mania but I can deffo admit to having made some exceptionally questionable decisions and having had to ride out the consequences.

Hope you are finding your balance and that the new psych works out.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote: »

MOD edit: as per charter offers of personal communication are not allowed, see below

Boards HQ has expressed serious concerns about offering to exchange private messages where the nature of such messages is that of counseling/support of distressed or vulnerable users. Posters are leaving themselves open to being hurt or involved in a situation they cannot manage. We understand that sending such messages can come from a place of care and concern but doing so can create a lot of stress for you. If you see offers of such PMs or receive a PM attempting to offer off-thread support, please report it.

Apologies if i broke the rules. Was just trying to help.

Sephiroth_dude

I read this thread from time to time, I wish I could give ye all a hug, stay strong all of ye, ye are good people.


Starting a new job tomorrow and my anxiety levels are through the roof, I would be quite an anxious person anyway but I somehow deal with it, small things get to me at times though, its so bad at the moment though I can't do anything and have done nothing all day except stare at the computer.

Gremlinertia

Seph it's perfectly normal, by first break you'll probably be bored! I'll be thinking of you.

Skybirdjb

Good luck Seph you got this ! Totally get what your saying it’s so hard to do anything and concentrate on anything when your anxious
I’m just feeling bla today can’t really put my finger on it but just bla

honeybear

Seph, starting a new job is a bit scary alright. They picked you because they feel that you are right for the job. Sending you a Honeybear hug!

Sephiroth_dude

honeybear wrote: »

Sending you a Honeybear hug!

The best kind of hug to get !

Pineapple1

Hi all, first time I've posted in this thread. I just need somewhere to empty my thoughts so hope you all dont mind.

I've been feeling so down the last couple of weeks. I lost my job back in May due to a conflict with my boss and I wasnt able to get a job all summer despite me applying to loads of places. A lot of places that were hiring were interested until I told them I was a college student. They wanted me to be available all year round. Im still having no luck trying to get a job for weekends now. The places that I would really like to work, Im so afraid of being told sorry no. I feel like I have no confidence since being let go from my job. I really liked my job but my manager turned on me overnight and started making my life hell and thats what led to a massive argument with her. She would always tell me everyday how great a worker I was, and then all of a sudden I was being accused of not doing things right, which was not true.
Im due to go back to college in a couple weeks and Im looking forward to getting back to classes and studying, but the thoughts of school placement in January is already making by blood turn cold. I absolutely despise school placement and I know I shouldnt as I made the decision myself to return to college to be a teacher but the reality is its so bloody difficult. Im already thinking teaching may not be for me. I just feel so down about this.
Lastly my boyfriend of 3 years has been very off with me for the last month. He has every weekend off with his job, I obviously had every weekend off too. Lately though he hasnt been asking me when we could see each other. A few weekends have gone by when I know he is just at home relaxing. Before he would have been keen to see me often. I feel like I shouldnt be the one to always initiate meeting up at the weekend. Last night I asked him what his plans for the weekend were, he said not much. I said well will I come down to you for the weekend. He said you can if your free. It just came across as being a bit "you can visit if you want I dont care". Im so angry and I dont want to have to co front him by text but at the same time why should I travel all that way for someone who wouldnt care either way.

Thanks for listening

BohsCeltic

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Hi all, first time I've posted in this thread. I just need somewhere to empty my thoughts so hope you all dont mind.

I've been feeling so down the last couple of weeks. I lost my job back in May due to a conflict with my boss and I wasnt able to get a job all summer despite me applying to loads of places. A lot of places that were hiring were interested until I told them I was a college student. They wanted me to be available all year round. Im still having no luck trying to get a job for weekends now. The places that I would really like to work, Im so afraid of being told sorry no. I feel like I have no confidence since being let go from my job. I really liked my job but my manager turned on me overnight and started making my life hell and thats what led to a massive argument with her. She would always tell me everyday how great a worker I was, and then all of a sudden I was being accused of not doing things right, which was not true.
Im due to go back to college in a couple weeks and Im looking forward to getting back to classes and studying, but the thoughts of school placement in January is already making by blood turn cold. I absolutely despise school placement and I know I shouldnt as I made the decision myself to return to college to be a teacher but the reality is its so bloody difficult. Im already thinking teaching may not be for me. I just feel so down about this.
Lastly my boyfriend of 3 years has been very off with me for the last month. He has every weekend off with his job, I obviously had every weekend off too. Lately though he hasnt been asking me when we could see each other. A few weekends have gone by when I know he is just at home relaxing. Before he would have been keen to see me often. I feel like I shouldnt be the one to always initiate meeting up at the weekend. Last night I asked him what his plans for the weekend were, he said not much. I said well will I come down to you for the weekend. He said you can if your free. It just came across as being a bit "you can visit if you want I dont care". Im so angry and I dont want to have to co front him by text but at the same time why should I travel all that way for someone who wouldnt care either way.

Thanks for listening

Love hurts. Believe me i have been there. Long distant relationship's work for some but not everyone.

I blocked all contact with my ex GF. Hard to do but it had to be done as she was dragging me down.

And well done on posting your thoughts too. Everyone here listen's. Good people.

Take care.

Graces7

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

The best kind of hug to get !

Blessings and hugs across the ocean Seph. Not here much but caught up on this

Skybirdjb

Have a wedding tomorrow and have to go on my own cause we have no babysitter and I’m freaking out my anxiety is through the roof and thenthe in laws for a bbq Sunday and my first consultant appointment Monday to find out what’s wrong with me physically. I swear I’m going to just blow up from it all .... Im not able
Rant over

Gremlinertia

Skybird that is row of massive things.. Can you make a plan for something on Monday evening or Tuesday to look forward to?. Any soothing thing.

Skybirdjb

Would you believe on Tuesday then have to bring small fella for vaccinations:( oh god help me cause he gets very sick after them for like 4 days !! Weekend after I’m doing nothing I swear !!
Can’t even eat today I’m so sick to the pit of my tummy . There will be a lot of work people at the wedding and with being off sick it’s a bit awkward really

Pineapple1

Just while im on here at the moment I just wanted to ask something about counsellors. I have been to counsellors in the past and while I found it a rewarding experience, one thing I suffered pretty badly with was the tears. As soon as the words come out of my mouth, the tears flow bigtime. Its pretty embarrassing and would love to get a handle on it but just cant seem to. I know its part of the job for a counsellor to have to watch someone crying but I cry so much that I actually cant speak. Anyone else like this?

One More Toy

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Just while im on here at the moment I just wanted to ask something about counsellors. I have been to counsellors in the past and while I found it a rewarding experience, one thing I suffered pretty badly with was the tears. As soon as the words come out of my mouth, the tears flow bigtime. Its pretty embarrassing and would love to get a handle on it but just cant seem to. I know its part of the job for a counsellor to have to watch someone crying but I cry so much that I actually cant speak. Anyone else like this?

Sorry to hear that, I don't suffer from the same but there's a box of tissues at my counsellors place. I can see how it'd be frustrating if you're paying to be there and can't get the words out

BohsCeltic

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Just while im on here at the moment I just wanted to ask something about counsellors. I have been to counsellors in the past and while I found it a rewarding experience, one thing I suffered pretty badly with was the tears. As soon as the words come out of my mouth, the tears flow bigtime. Its pretty embarrassing and would love to get a handle on it but just cant seem to. I know its part of the job for a counsellor to have to watch someone crying but I cry so much that I actually cant speak. Anyone else like this?

I broke down last time i was with a counselor. Female too but i find it's easier for me to deal with rather than a man.

I've done CBT so i was able to regain myself, take a step back and talk good.

Have to see same again on Thursday then next week psychiatrist for my appeal to Irish life.
And also have to see my Doctor too. Stressed so much my psoriasis is now really sore.

Skybirdjb

I also think cbt has really helped me too . Bohs that sounds stressful ... hugs
Have had an awful few days I don’t know what way my head is . Small fella was really sick ended up in a&e yesterday it was so hard , thankfully he’s ok now but I was a mess. Got my diagnosis too yesterday and while not life threatening I’m just in shock really . Thought it might be something that could be fixed short term but it’s not ..... rant over sorry guys

BohsCeltic

Skybirdjb wrote: »

I also think cbt has really helped me too . Bohs that sounds stressful ... hugs
Have had an awful few days I don’t know what way my head is . Small fella was really sick ended up in a&e yesterday it was so hard , thankfully he’s ok now but I was a mess. Got my diagnosis too yesterday and while not life threatening I’m just in shock really . Thought it might be something that could be fixed short term but it’s not ..... rant over sorry guys

Sorry to hear that but happy your son is ok and you will get better soon too. I'm too afraid to go for blood tests which my doctor wants me to go for.
My head is all over the place too. I didn't sleep until 5am yesterday, woke at 11am and still awake now at 3.15am.

Spent over 1 hour talking to a girl i met online and she just made things worse because she has so many problems that she told me about and was crying. My brain said turn off (on messenger) because you have enough problems of your own but my heart said just listen.
That's always my problem, i just cannot concentrate on myself, always trying to help fix other problems.

One More Toy

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Sorry to hear that but happy your son is ok and you will get better soon too. I'm too afraid to go for blood tests which my doctor wants me to go for.
My head is all over the place too. I didn't sleep until 5am yesterday, woke at 11am and still awake now at 3.15am.

Spent over 1 hour talking to a girl i met online and she just made things worse because she has so many problems that she told me about and was crying. My brain said turn off (on messenger) because you have enough problems of your own but my heart said just listen.
That's always my problem, i just cannot concentrate on myself, always trying to help fix other problems.

We're both up late tonight it seems!

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

We're both up late tonight it seems!

Nothing new there lol.

I cannot sleep because my brain is thinking too much and my psoriasis is so itchy and painfull i just can't sleep.