Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I'm extremely lonely and sad

Same, haven't really been posting lately because i feel like there's nothing to say. Hoping restarting therapy might help.. Anything you want to talk about?

Wanderer78

Gremlinertia wrote:

Same, haven't really been posting lately because i feel like there's nothing to say. Hoping restarting therapy might help.. Anything you want to talk about?

Just extremely heartbroken, and you?

Gremlinertia

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Just extremely heartbroken, and you?

Oh i'm so sorry to hear that, the grief that brings on is so painful.

I'm elsewhere, kinda treading water and getting tired, kinda numb which always scares me

Wanderer78

Gremlinertia wrote:

Oh i'm so sorry to hear that, the grief that brings on is so painful.

Its incredibly painful

Gremlinertia wrote:

I'm elsewhere, kinda treading water and getting tired, kinda numb which always scares me

I'm sorry to hear that, I'm getting feelings of numbness as well at times, it's extremely difficult

I think my dog is picking up on my pain, she's becoming more clingy than normal, and experienced separation anxiety during the night, she hasn't done that in a while

Seamai

Some Yoke wrote: »

I am wondering does anyone have experience using anti depressants long term. I ve been on them (effexor) for most of the last 10 years, my life is much better on them and I am much more functional day to day however I do find the detached feeling difficult for dating/relationships and haven't much interest in that side of things, and sometimes I noticed my memory isn't as sharp or I can't think clearly making mistakes and not understanding things that I normally can.

I've been on a combination of mirtazapine an lexapro for the last 18 months, the mirtazapine on it's own didn't do anything for me other than help me sleep which was a big plus for me as poor sleep had been an issue most of my adult life (I'm 55). My experiences have been pretty positive with the only side effects being an increased appetite and decreased libido but these are a small price to pay for feeling so good. It doesn't feel artificial, I'm not euphoric, I'm more motivated, more positive, I've greater clarity, most of the things that used to get me down I now take in my stride, I find myself being able to live in the now and park things that are not important at this point in time but the biggest thing for me is that I've regained my ability to enjoy things including socialising, I'm blessed with my partner, family and friends, pre meds I had got to the point where I was avoiding all social contact, I even took time out from work.
I spent years where being depressed had become my default setting, I had put up with it for so long that it became normal for me. People close to me had been encouraging me to talk to someone but I genuinely didn't think I needed to. I was terrified at the prospect of medication, a lot of what I had read was very negative but my experience has been very positive, it's like how I should feel, it's the version of me that was weighed down for years and couldn't rise to the surface. There's no dizziness, the opposite in fact. I won't pretend that life is perfect, since Christmas things at work haven't been great (nothing to do with me) and I think the toxic atmosphere is affecting me but I do realise that outside work things are pretty OK and hopefully I will be able to weather the storm.

waxmelts2000

Well done Seamai that all sounds positive.

Seamai

Valyawl wrote: »

Well done Seamai that all sounds positive.

Thanks Valyawl, I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that, I know many people have a huge reluctance to go down the medication route, they may see it as a weakness, they may be afraid of the negative side effects people often talk about. When people get to middle age often they will be on medication for physical ailments, I'm on industrial strength nexium for really bad reflux, If I didn't take it I could be looking at more serious problems down the road, my partner takes meds for blood pressure, some of my brothers for cholesterol, people don't really stop to think about these but the mere mention of taking something for depression or anxiety has some people running for the hills.
I've heard comments like, "they were really messing with my head and I stopped taking them after a week" or "I was like a zombie on them". Others saying they had awful nightmares That's not been my experience, yes the mirtazipine had little effect on my depression and 7 or 8 weeks (I now know that it's trial and error and patience is needed) after starting I was pretty disheartened. On the dreaming front, yes I seem to be dreaming more, that might be down to getting a full night's sleep, yes they're a lot more vivid, sometimes downright bizarre but never bad or frightening.

I was seeing a psychologist pre meds but it was a waste of time (and money) as I didn't have the mental capacity to engage with either the CBT or compassion focused therapy that she was working on with me, I'd got to the point where I wouldn't shave or couldn't be bothered ironing a shirt for work and didn't care if colleagues noticed I was wearing the same shirt three days running, (normally I'm pretty fastidious) so how could I deal with something that needed a lot of thinking and introspection on my part? Also she also may not have been the right person for me, that relationship needs to be two way. I would be in a much better position now and will find someone but again you need to be in the right place for this to work and sometimes we need meds to get us to that level.

SMC92Ian

Seamai wrote: »

Thanks Valyawl, I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that, I know many people have a huge reluctance to go down the medication route, they may see it as a weakness, they may be afraid of the negative side effects people often talk about. When people get to middle age often they will be on medication for physical ailments, I'm on industrial strength nexium for really bad reflux, If I didn't take it I could be looking at more serious problems down the road, my partner takes meds for blood pressure, some of my brothers for cholesterol, people don't really stop to think about these but the mere mention of taking something for depression or anxiety has some people running for the hills.
I've heard comments like, "they were really messing with my head and I stopped taking them after a week" or "I was like a zombie on them". Others saying they had awful nightmares That's not been my experience, yes the mirtazipine had little effect on my depression and 7 or 8 weeks (I now know that it's trial and error and patience is needed) after starting I was pretty disheartened. On the dreaming front, yes I seem to be dreaming more, that might be down to getting a full night's sleep, yes they're a lot more vivid, sometimes downright bizarre but never bad or frightening.

I was seeing a psychologist pre meds but it was a waste of time (and money) as I didn't have the mental capacity to engage with either the CBT or compassion focused therapy that she was working on with me, I'd got to the point where I wouldn't shave or couldn't be bothered ironing a shirt for work and didn't care if colleagues noticed I was wearing the same shirt three days running, (normally I'm pretty fastidious) so how could I deal with something that needed a lot of thinking and introspection on my part? Also she also may not have been the right person for me, that relationship needs to be two way. I would be in a much better position now and will find someone but again you need to be in the right place for this to work and sometimes we need meds to get us to that level.

I think because it's easier to figure out if you've high blood pressure or pain somewhere, when it comes to medicating the brain it's impossible, it's all guess work, we don't really know what's going on, we just take things hoping something will stick, it's why I wouldn't. I don't even take anything for a cold or headache.

Wanderer78

I'm very lonely

worded

Soothing Track

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nS1K-ke_gg

Wanderer78

I'm very broken today

Graces7

(((HUGS)))

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I'm very broken today

SMC92Ian

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I'm very lonely

Do you have any hobbies or anything to keep you busy? Join chat rooms or something?

Graces7

Very overtired with the sleep disruption with the gales and hail and bitter cold this week and nothing is quite " real" now. Dangerous.

worded

I gave up coffee for two weeks.
Fell off the wagon and had a double americano
Felt great that day.
Next day I had to hit the bed and was exhausted.

Coffee - Im alergic to even small amounts of it I think. Love the stuff BUT it makes my moods roller coaster.


Anyone who drink even a little coffee please consider giving it up for a week or two to see if you are the same.

Im so much more calm without it.

Big hug to everyone ...

worded

https://driftaway.coffee/coffee-make-sleepy/


Drink water with coffee if you have to drink it

You drink a cup of coffee and soon afterwards need to use the bathroom.
When you go to the bathroom, your body loses water.
When your body loses water, your blood thickens.
When your blood thickens, it moves more slowly through your arteries and veins.
As your blood slows down, it delivers less oxygen to your body.
Without as much oxygen, you become sluggish.
You may reach for more coffee to combat the sluggishness, thus starting the cycle again.

Wanderer78

SMC92Ian wrote:

Do you have any hobbies or anything to keep you busy? Join chat rooms or something?

Thank you again for your help folks, one of the best threads on boards I have to say, extremely helpful and caring people here. What a difference a phone call can make, much better form now

I've a near endless list of hobbies and ****e to keep me busy, unfortunately when I'm low, I struggle to engage in them

Graces7

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Thank you again for your help folks, one of the best threads on boards I have to say, extremely helpful and caring people here. What a difference a phone call can make, much better form now

I've a near endless list of hobbies and ****e to keep me busy, unfortunately when I'm low, I struggle to engage in them

I always said my non stop, almost obsessional knitting is a well-channelled nervous twitch.. but then it started helping others and that made it more meaningful than a twitch.. I cannot bear being useless. And so many made me feel that way

Graces7

Too much pain tonighy and nothing is helping it. My streght to bear it is all fgone. Been a long long thing. Very weary and tired . done my best, had some lovely times.

candycock

Graces7 wrote: »

Too much pain tonighy and nothing is helping it. My streght to bear it is all fgone. Been a long long thing. Very weary and tired . done my best, had some lovely times.

Maybe just rest and be kind to yourself op.

Wanderer78

Graces7 wrote:

Too much pain tonighy and nothing is helping it. My streght to bear it is all fgone. Been a long long thing. Very weary and tired . done my best, had some lovely times.

Look after yourself grace, and thank you for your support

Skybirdjb

Graces7 wrote: »

Too much pain tonighy and nothing is helping it. My streght to bear it is all fgone. Been a long long thing. Very weary and tired . done my best, had some lovely times.

Tell those cats that I said to give u extra snuggles tonight : if u need us we are here x

Wanderer78

Oh dear, the blues is back

Wanderer78

This is really painful

Gremlinertia

Wanderer78 wrote: »

This is really painful

Awful, sorry you're having such a tough time Wanderer

Skybirdjb

Wanderer78 wrote: »

This is really painful

Ah wanderer so sorry ur feeling like this. It might help to have a chat here . Put how ur feeling into words write it out . This often helps me

Wanderer78

Skybirdjb wrote:

Ah wanderer so sorry ur feeling like this. It might help to have a chat here . Put how ur feeling into words write it out . This often helps me

I struggle to put my thoughts into words, life's just very painful

Tell me how

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I struggle to put my thoughts into words, life's just very painful

Is there a particular reason you feel like this?

You are going to therapy aren't you? Is that helping you?

Wanderer78

Tell me how wrote:

Is there a particular reason you feel like this?

Just heartbroken

Tell me how wrote:

You are going to therapy aren't you? Is that helping you?

I am yea, I've only just started, I've found it very helpful in the past though

Gremlinertia

I'm having an incredibly tough night with anxiety, sweating, breathing badly, trembling, pins and needles etc. Just needed to say it somewhere.