Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

I know that the app my partner used had a reminder beep daily and you could generate a graph. However one mood per day kinda thing.

Tell me how

Wanderer78 wrote: »

this is more or less what ive been doing, my doc always asks me the 1-10 scale, it works really well in communicating whats going on

It does, and when looking back at a range of months rather than weeks, the average of each week serves just as well.

BohsCeltic

I got some what sorted with welfare which has lifted my mood a bit. It took me to send many messages to them and mention i could not even afford my medication.

Yesterday i met my little Nephews and my Sister in the park, took one of my dogs with me and maintained the usual social distancing Was great to get out.
First time i have seen them in 2 1/2 Months.

Nice weather again today so will be trying to get the vitamin D in.

Sardonicat

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I got some what sorted with welfare which has lifted my mood a bit. It took me to send many messages to them and mention i could not even afford my medication.

Yesterday i met my little Nephews and my Sister in the park, took one of my dogs with me and maintained the usual social distancing Was great to get out.
First time i have seen them in 2 1/2 Months.

Nice weather again today so will be trying to get the vitamin D in.

That's great news Bohs! Glad that pressure has been lifted some way off your shoulders. Hopefully it won't take too much longer before its sorted completely and you can give keeping well 100% of your attention.

BohsCeltic

Everything seems to knock me back down. My Brother who is a frontline worker in hospital has been rushed to a&e.
My Mother who is old is in bits.
It's not good for me either.

But i have to be strong. Because i know i have battled bad things before and came through. Now i will stay strong for my family.

My luck just never seems to change

Pessy

Does anyone know how long the public waiting list is to see a psychiatrist? I have been waiting just two weeks now but I am wondering if I should just go private. I don't feel like I can wait more than a month longer.

As a follow-up question, are public psychiatrists still seeing people in person?

One More Toy

Pessy wrote: »

Does anyone know how long the public waiting list is to see a psychiatrist? I have been waiting just two weeks now but I am wondering if I should just go private. I don't feel like I can wait more than a month longer.

As a follow-up question, are public psychiatrists still seeing people in person?

I've an appointment in a few weeks time whether that goes ahead or not I don't know.

Can't remember how long the wait was for me it's so long ago and different times but wasn't too long if I recall

Pessy

Thanks for the reply. I actually got a response today with an appointment. I noticed the letter had arrived just a few minutes after posting here...

Tell me how

Pessy wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I actually got a response today with an appointment. I noticed the letter had arrived just a few minutes after posting here...

That's good that you have an appointment.

When there, ask them what the protocol is, how often can you expect to be seen over the next few months, will you always be seen by the same psychiatrist etc.

The answers to those will help you have some confidence going forward with the public system, or to maybe consider private if it is an option to you.

Pessy

I'll make sure to ask those questions. Private is an option, but despite my rush to get an appointment I also wanted to see if I could get a good service for free. That and the public clinic is closer.

lostinfrance

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

Feeling quite sad today as I tried to get an online appointment with a private therapist, but they couldn't facilitate that as I'm not in Ireland at the moment.

I know it's not anyone's fault and that's just the way things are but it does feel like being kicked when I'm already down.

Wanderer78

lostinfrance wrote: »

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

Feeling quite sad today as I tried to get an online appointment with a private therapist, but they couldn't facilitate that as I'm not in Ireland at the moment.

I know it's not anyone's fault and that's just the way things are but it does feel like being kicked when I'm already down.

have you access to any services in france?

One More Toy

lostinfrance wrote: »

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

Feeling quite sad today as I tried to get an online appointment with a private therapist, but they couldn't facilitate that as I'm not in Ireland at the moment.

I know it's not anyone's fault and that's just the way things are but it does feel like being kicked when I'm already down.

Try mymind.ie (no affiliation just a happy customer)

lostinfrance

Unfortunately no services here I only arrived in January, not comfortable with the language yet.

The reason I couldn't be seen was due to insurance issues so I don't think anywhere will help since they'll be the same.

I'm angry now though, it took a lot for me to reach out and then I get this email back saying "we can't help you, but the second you're back in Ireland here's our phone # and our price list" just seems a bit insensitive

BohsCeltic

lostinfrance wrote: »

Unfortunately no services here I only arrived in January, not comfortable with the language yet.

The reason I couldn't be seen was due to insurance issues so I don't think anywhere will help since they'll be the same.

I'm angry now though, it took a lot for me to reach out and then I get this email back saying "we can't help you, but the second you're back in Ireland here's our phone # and our price list" just seems a bit insensitive

Do you have European Health Insurance Card ? It is free.
In the meantime i think many of us in here can lend an ear to talk too.

Not medical advice but someone who understands.

You can PM me if you ever need to chat. It must be hard with being in a different country too.

Take care.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Everything seems to knock me back down. My Brother who is a frontline worker in hospital has been rushed to a&e.
My Mother who is old is in bits.
It's not good for me either.

But i have to be strong. Because i know i have battled bad things before and came through. Now i will stay strong for my family.

My luck just never seems to change

Just an update. My Brother is ok now and home. All relieved.

SMC92Ian

Has anyone had dreams that felt so real that you feel everything for real on the outside? And not dreams of anything in the past or something that happened but, these were like dreams that kept continuing on, like I'd dream about something, wake up, then dream again but it'd be continuing on the dream? Horrible horrible dreams, I lost someone 2 years ago and these dream was as if they were still here and having "what if" dreams... what the **** is that all about?

mr_fegelien

Has anyone here been prescribed sleeping pills for depression? My psychiatrist says that anxiety/depression has been causing me insomnia and has put me on 10 tablets of zolpidem a month. I wonder how does it feel to be on them?

alig1234

For me my dark days ended for good and my anxiety and depression and insomnia vanished once i adopted the following:
Between 3-20 mins meditation a day. I used Headspace initially now just meditate to music.
i Work average hours on PCS (7 hrs daily 5 days a week) and after that a max of 2 hrs in the evenings on phone, netflix, tv, screens.
Avoid sinister tV stuff on netflix, horror movies, bad news stories, bad news on on social media.
think 3 things to be grateful for each day- sometimes a struggle.

I was crippled with anxiety and insomnia and on meds for depression and the above turned my life around. Off all meds now and happy and often joyful somedays. No need to buy stuff or surround myself with clothes, shoes etc. When I don't meditate I can feel the stress in my body returning. You must train your brain and meditate for at least three mins a day for a month before you see benefits. Im Spending a lot more time enjoying the now enjoying solitude and not looking or worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. Sleep has improved the quality and the quantity. I think since mobile phones came on market we abandoned solitude. Everyone needs solitude in their life. Certainly worth a try.

RabbleRouser2k

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Has anyone here been prescribed sleeping pills for depression? My psychiatrist says that anxiety/depression has been causing me insomnia and has put me on 10 tablets of zolpidem a month. I wonder how does it feel to be on them?

When I was a teenager, I got put on them for a while(sleeping pills I mean). I think I was given about ten days worth.
They help, but you do have this kind of 'hard to shake' sleepiness for an hour or two after you wake up.

Gremlinertia

Had a weird dissociated day yesterday. Couldn'r sleep, remember everything i did but totally numb.. The whole day.

jaxxx

I've come to a decision. From now on, I'm gonna be a pure c*nt to everyone. Why? Well the world's gone to sh*t. Humanity is getting more and more stupid each day. And I can't drown my sorrows with alcohol cos I hate the stuff. So being a pure c*nt it is!

Anyone else forcibly stop themselves from crying btw? I do. Dunno why. Tears start to escape and then I do everything in my power to stop it entirely. Dunno why. Nothing wrong with crying. Just don't allow myself to, properly at least.

jaxxx

jaxxx wrote: »

I've come to a decision. From now on, I'm gonna be a pure c*nt to everyone. Why? Well the world's gone to sh*t. Humanity is getting more and more stupid each day. And I can't drown my sorrows with alcohol cos I hate the stuff. So being a pure c*nt it is!

Anyone else forcibly stop themselves from crying btw? I do. Dunno why. Tears start to escape and then I do everything in my power to stop it entirely. Dunno why. Nothing wrong with crying. Just don't allow myself to, properly at least.

Popped into an old friend recently, which has completely f*cked me up. Nothing to do with them personally, just made me realise how much of a pathetic failure I've become. Hence whatever the above is!

Tell me how

jaxxx wrote: »

I've come to a decision. From now on, I'm gonna be a pure c*nt to everyone. Why? Well the world's gone to sh*t. Humanity is getting more and more stupid each day. And I can't drown my sorrows with alcohol cos I hate the stuff. So being a pure c*nt it is!

Anyone else forcibly stop themselves from crying btw? I do. Dunno why. Tears start to escape and then I do everything in my power to stop it entirely. Dunno why. Nothing wrong with crying. Just don't allow myself to, properly at least.

Look jaxxx, you are not too far from the truth in terms of feeling negative about the world right now. I have found the last couple of months very difficult and have acknowledged that I am back in a depressive phase right now.

That being said, your second sentence could be influencing the first. Crying is an expression of emotion and not allowing that release is quite literally bottling it up inside.

Deciding to be a c*nt is an emotive reaction to the negativity, but it doesn't help. It would be like trying to overcome the weird noise coming from your car engine by driving faster so that you can't hear it. It will not end well.

I don't know if you have previously, or are currently seeing a therapist but if you were able to consider that environment as a safe space to express the emotion which you are feeling and allowing yourself to cry, I think it could help you, or anyone who is struggling in such a way.

One More Toy

jaxxx wrote: »

Popped into an old friend recently, which has completely f*cked me up. Nothing to do with them personally, just made me realise how much of a pathetic failure I've become. Hence whatever the above is!

It's true there are c*nts in the world, believe me I've ran into my fair share of them. But there are also nice lovely people too, here being one of them places. So don't be a c*nt. Be the better person you want to be

SMC92Ian

The only person who'll end up hurt from being a c*nt is yourself. Trust me I know. I've cut out all the negative people in my life and block most everyone now. I just wanna focus on what makes me happy.

Gremlinertia

I've come here and started writing a post and not managed to say anything for a week.. I'm very weak, my resilience is drained a long, long way down.. There shouldn't be too much at me since i'm working and have no social obligations to stress me out but here i am feeling like my chin is scraping along the ground with the weight of the dark in my head.. Sorry for the ramble, i swore i'd post today one way or another.

TLDR dark, drained whinge post

The Black Oil

Depression is back this last while. Was awake until at least 4am last night. Wrote on an A4 pad around 1am. Did yoga at 2am which eased things a bit physically, but not my mind. Have asked my psych if we can bring the next appointment forward.

Interview later and I feel like a zombie and generally awful.

Tell me how

The Black Oil wrote: »

Depression is back this last while. Was awake until at least 4am last night. Wrote on an A4 pad around 1am. Did yoga at 2am which eased things a bit physically, but not my mind. Have asked my psych if we can bring the next appointment forward.

Interview later and I feel like a zombie and generally awful.

The two things could well be linked.

That aside, yes, the last few months have been very detrimental to a lot of peoples mental health. Any one of concerns about relatives, fear of getting virus, being hyper vigilant, work situation, lack of social interaction, boredom, negative news cycles could be enough to cause people to suffer, all of these happening at the same time is definitely going to do so.

I hope the interview goes well. Maybe have a shower or something just before it to help freshen your mind.

jaxxx

I stumbled across something lately, was somewhat revelatory for me, hopefully some of you might find it a bit helpful. I can't remember how it was worded exactly, but I'll use it from my own perspective, hopefully it might be helpful.

For a long time, near 10 years in the making now, there was rarely a day that went by where I didn't think about death. Truthfully not much has changed. But I always struggled inside as to the reasoning behind these thoughts. I've never been suicidal, thankfully, but that further added to my confusion over this whole thing. A long while back I settled on the thought that it was just that I didn't want to live anymore, that I wanted death, craved death.

But I've discovered recently that it wasn't anything like that at all through a random video on Youtube one night. All these thoughts I have about death and how I'd be better off dead, it's not about actually seeking death. It's about easing the pain that I live with every day, a mean's to an end almost. I don't seek death because I want to die, only because it's a way of relieving the pain. Does that make sense?

When I read that for the first time, I was stunned. All this time I thought I just sought out death because my life was a failure, I was a failure, I wanted to die for death's sake. But that wasn't it at all, all I wanted was a means of dealing with the pain. It hasn't been so revelatory for me that it's spurned drastic actions on my part to try and fix everything, but it's actually given me a little bit of hope?

The ironic thing is about me, I've always been great at giving advice to others, but useless at being able to take that advice myself. One of the things I always say is that nothing is ever too late so long as your lungs still breathe and heart still pumps. I'm not at the stage where I'm willing to take my own advice on board, yet at least. But for the first time in a bloody long time, I'm a tiny little bit hopeful? I'm actually eager to start with a new counsellor, but who knows when that'll be cos of old covid, hehe.

It's so simple a thing, but I just never saw it that way before. Hopefully it might give a little bit of hope to anyone feeling similar.