Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

igCorcaigh

carzony wrote: »

Difficult few weeks, very emotional for no reason.

Also, I followed a local girl on YouTube who used to post very supportive vids but found out that she passed away last week. I didn't know her personally but really feel a deep loss, which is kinda strange.

Keep on trying ringing your GP. They are the gatekeepers to other services.

Graces7

igCorcaigh wrote: »

Let us know Graces7 if we can help you in any way. You should not be left in pain.

Thanks. Been offline a while as things are just not good or right.

Hoping all out there are faring well...

This yea r the CFS/ME is at its worst and the SAD has joined forces with it, and just has to be endured as best as can. Day by day and hour by hour

And thankfully my supply lines are good; neighbour gifted 4 bags of turf!

No further forward with any situation, so no GP access and quite frankly I am at peace with that if this is how they are going to treat folk! All I have ever asked is pain meds as I know they haven't a clue re M.E.

I had a great GP in Kerry for four years. I explained re the M.E etc and he totally accepted it quietly and let me take it at my pace and was there if I needed him. Repeat prescriptions were always to hand. He helped me so much. Just by being there and letting me set the pace..

I cannot explain what exactly is going on with it all. Too involved.

But basically I have no GP access . . I am at a loss. So am just living day by day, feeding my cats, knitting, and God bless youtube! I have had winters like this before. But never with no real pain relief when it is so needed .

It is being wrongfooted that is the worst. Many of us with M.E know this. There was one dr who was the most caring person ever; she had M.E and her book is a great help to many. Yet she had to call it eg rheumatoid arthritis on her sick notes... She died a while back . Dr Anne McIntyre.

Stay strong out there; day by day! Hour by hour.. Off to knit elbow length cabled fingerless gloves for the Canadian trade.. watching The Commander series on on youtube.. See the rich life I lead,,, lol....

SMC92Ian

Anyone here ever dealt with Alcho's and abusive drinkers? My Dad is really crossing some lines lately, saying all sorts to my Mother, then acting like nothing the next day, doesn't even remember, we do.

Graces7

Past my bedtime already.... Maybe this is what they mean by "second childhood."

I have submitted a Formal Complaint to the correct HSE person for this region.

Legally they have to respond. Not very hopeful though. We shall see.

Stay well and blessings and peace

Meeoow

Graces7 wrote: »

I have submitted a Formal Complaint to the correct HSE person for this region.

Legally they have to respond. Not very hopeful though. We shall see.

Best of luck Grace's, keep standing up for your rights!

Graces7

Meeoow wrote: »

Best of luck Grace's, keep standing up for your rights!

Happy to settle for my routine pain meds....My trust has gone when that is used as a "bargaining tool" as it has been. There was no need for that. Two weeks of no pain meds now.

Sardonicat

Graces7 wrote: »

Happy to settle for my routine pain meds....My trust has gone when that is used as a "bargaining tool" as it has been. There was no need for that. Two weeks of no pain meds now.

In what way have they been used as a bargaining tool? Have they been discontinued or has someone messed up your regular script?

seamusk84

I am currently on the waiting list to be admitted as an inpatient at St. Pats as of last week. Anyone know what the situation is like in there currently with everything going on?
Have things slowed up for admittance for instance with a longer waiting list?
Ideally I'd like to get in and out before December (although unlikely now) because I don't want to end up spending the holidays away from home!

Wanderer78

seamusk84 wrote: »

I am currently on the waiting list to be admitted as an inpatient at St. Pats as of last week. Anyone know what the situation is like in there currently with everything going on?
Have things slowed up for admittance for instance with a longer waiting list?
Ideally I'd like to get in and out before December (although unlikely now) because I don't want to end up spending the holidays away from home!

best of luck with things

Graces7

Meeoow wrote: »

Best of luck Grace's, keep standing up for your rights!

Had a very...…. swift and ..interesting(!!!) reply email from HSE! They are ...unbelievable. Breathtakingly incredibly..

Meeoow

Graces7 wrote: »

Had a very...…. swift and ..interesting(!!!) reply email from HSE! They are ...unbelievable. Breathtakingly incredibly..

Sounds like they are trying to beat you down, would I be correct?

Graces7

Meeoow wrote: »

Sounds like they are trying to beat you down, would I be correct?

lol... There speaks the voice of experience! Which makes me sad that you know that... So sorry...

Worse than that; they are preventing meds being issued unless I . "forget" what has happened and allow a continuation of that.

As soon as I said anything the gloves came off... Were I a diabetic I would be in serious trouble..... while withholding painkillers?
Ignore what has happened and you will get meds. Follow it up further and...

That sounds very stressful Graces. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is to stop fighting something because it causes more anguish. Would you not register with a new gp and arrange a repeat prescription for the proper meds? I'm sure given your age and health issues a GP practise wouldn't turn you away.

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

That sounds very stressful Graces. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is to stop fighting something because it causes more anguish. Would you not register with a new gp and arrange a repeat prescription for the proper meds? I'm sure given your age and health issues a GP practise wouldn't turn you away.

In this case there is no other GP in the available area; and there are aspects of this that cannot be let go. ie unless I call on the dr I have a medically and ethically a very serious complaint against, that I can prove, ( which has not been addressed) I will not get any pain relief.

They are breaking rules thinking I did not know the procedures. They changed tone when they realised I do.

I would respect them if they ensured my treatment was ongoing while this gets sorted out. But this?

I am as they know cocooned and housebound. I did ask re help from another dr and they were very rude! lol.... snarled at me!

Graces7

Graces7 wrote: »

In this case there is no other GP in the available area; and there are aspects of this that cannot be let go. ie unless I call on the dr I have a medically and ethically a very serious complaint against, that I can prove, ( which has not been addressed) I will not get any pain relief.

They are breaking rules thinking I did not know the procedures. They changed tone when they realised I do.

I would respect them if they ensured my treatment was ongoing while this gets sorted out. But this?

I am as they know cocooned and housebound. I did ask re help from another dr and they were very rude! lol.... snarled at me!

I just don't understand how a person with medical needs can be left without a gp and pain relief. It baffles me. No matter the legal side of things I would have thought that if there are no clinics suitable within your region, an island I believe, you could access another.

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

I just don't understand how a person with medical needs can be left without a gp and pain relief. It baffles me. No matter the legal side of things I would have thought that if there are no clinics suitable within your region, an island I believe, you could access another.

There IS a GP is what they aver! I need no medical care as such but can only get the pain relief I need on prescription. As they know which is what really reveals so much. I did ask …
The dr concerned is not my GP. It was when they said they would get me a new medical card in her name! Sorry Mr; that is not how that works !
And yes, things are different out here and we all make allowances in consequence.

I will cope; not beaten yet! Just lying low and referring it on to higher authorities. I wanted to give them a chance. They blew it.

So a few peaceful days ahead now. As we say " having done all to stand. " And let others take over.

Graces7

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Anyone here ever dealt with Alcho's and abusive drinkers? My Dad is really crossing some lines lately, saying all sorts to my Mother, then acting like nothing the next day, doesn't even remember, we do.

In the Uk there is A; Anon? Maybe call the Citizen's Info as they will know what experienced support there is. They are great people. It sounds so worrying

Graces7

Graces7 wrote: »

There IS a GP is what they aver! I need no medical care as such but can only get the pain relief I need on prescription. As they know which is what really reveals so much. I did ask …
The dr concerned is not my GP. It was when they said they would get me a new medical card in her name! Sorry Mr; that is not how that works !
And yes, things are different out here and we all make allowances in consequence.

I will cope; not beaten yet! Just lying low and referring it on to higher authorities. I wanted to give them a chance. They blew it.

So a few peaceful days ahead now. As we say " having done all to stand. " And let others take over.

And HSE are now trying to solve this by making me look the one at fault!!! Getting familiar with Christian names etc. I think I just finished with medical "care". The only stressful part of my life.

Meeoow

Graces7 wrote: »

And HSE are now trying to solve this by making me look the one at fault!!! Getting familiar with Christian names etc. I think I just finished with medical "care". The only stressful part of my life.

You need to be the squeaky wheel to get the oil. Keep the momentum up with them. I know you won't give in, you're a survivor.
Your doctor should keep prescribing your pain killers. What is their excuse not to?

Graces7

Meeoow wrote: »

You need to be the squeaky wheel to get the oil. Keep the momentum up with them. I know you won't give in, you're a survivor.
Your doctor should keep prescribing your pain killers. What is their excuse not to?

Too long a tale. short version... But this is not my GP. Wants me on her list as mine is retiring. Took over from mine then said no meds unless and until I register with her. But did not put it quite like that. On that day I had just arranged my next repeat with my GP and she cancelled it.

wexwitch

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Anyone here ever dealt with Alcho's and abusive drinkers? My Dad is really crossing some lines lately, saying all sorts to my Mother, then acting like nothing the next day, doesn't even remember, we do.

Hi there, sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Hugs to you. I don't have personal experience in my family, but I've seen it up close.

If you Google 'support for family of alcoholic Ireland' that should bring up some options. I think it might be AA Alcoholics Anonymous, I think they might offer advice to family members.

Please talk to someone, to help you. You can't deal with all of this alone. I wish you a good outcome. ☺️

Meeoow

Graces7 wrote: »

Too long a tale. short version... But this is not my GP. Wants me on her list as mine is retiring. Took over from mine then said no meds unless and until I register with her. But did not put it quite like that. On that day I had just arranged my next repeat with my GP and she cancelled it.

That's nasty, shouldn't have cancelled your repeat.

Graces7

Meeoow wrote: »

That's nasty, shouldn't have cancelled your repeat.

yep. Exactly. That was a mistake. I have proof of that too as they contacted the pharmacy etc.

Anyways I have closed off my email with a message re the weather affecting it. I use it little anyways. HSE were starting to almost grovel. Life is too short to waste precious time and energy. At some stage a full report to GMC will go in. Just far more vital stuff going on, like food supplies in the bad weather! I am snugged in and safe.

And I have all the info I need now. And told HSE clearly that unless and until I get pain relief I am not able to deal with these issues. Period.. Left that with them. They know where I live etc! And the longer they let this go on...

Thanks for being here. However old I get this kind of thing still shocks me to my core. Lies stun me.

tdf7187

SMC92Ian wrote: »

Anyone here ever dealt with Alcho's and abusive drinkers? My Dad is really crossing some lines lately, saying all sorts to my Mother, then acting like nothing the next day, doesn't even remember, we do.

I am the alcoholic in my family, fortunately now in recovery.

It's progressive. Verbal abuse and blackouts are part of the slippery slope. It can then (not always, but sometimes) escalate into physical abuse unless the alcoholism problem is addressed.

Maybe worth checking out:

http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/

tdf7187

I have been on anti-depressants in the past (primarily Cymbalta, for 8 years) but am currently entirely unmedicated. I have concluded that my issues with anxiety and depression were largely if not entirely attributable to alcohol abuse. Being in early recovery from alcoholism, my anxiety is still very bad on-and-off but I probably deserve it. My instinct is that the anxiety will alleviate and ultimately disappear completely the longer the time I put between me and alcohol. I was very lucky in my twenties and thirties in that though a heavy drinker, I had very little experience with anxiety though I did have some periods of being quite depressed. So my experience with anxiety is quite recent (I am now 47). For me personally it's just a matter of filling the day with activities that are as productive as possible. I had many, many positive experiences with alcohol but the party had to end. And it wasn't much of a fun party at the end I can assure you.

Wanderer78

tdf7187 wrote:

I have been on anti-depressants in the past (primarily Cymbalta, for 8 years) but am currently entirely unmedicated. I have concluded that my issues with anxiety and depression were largely if not entirely attributable to alcohol abuse. Being in early recovery from alcoholism, my anxiety is still very bad on-and-off but I probably deserve it. My instinct is that the anxiety will alleviate and ultimately disappear completely the longer the time I put between me and alcohol. I was very lucky in my twenties and thirties in that though a heavy drinker, I had very little experience with anxiety though I did have some periods of being quite depressed. So my experience with anxiety is quite recent (I am now 47). For me personally it's just a matter of filling the day with activities that are as productive as possible. I had many, many positive experiences with alcohol but the party had to end. And it wasn't much of a fun party at the end I can assure you.

You don't deserve things such as anxiety or depression, addiction is a dreadful thing, most of us are susceptible to it, it can be both genetic and environmental, please be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can, we all make mistakes. I do believe these issues are far deeper than we think, and not ultimately bad decisions we make, I do believe their roots can be discovered and exercised via therapy. Best of luck with things

charlietheminxx

I started anti-depressants for the first time this week (50mg sertraline).

I've had other black fuzzy periods in my life, a couple of which I look back on and understand I should have gotten more help than I did, but all of which tied in with massively stressful life events. This time there has been no one big thing, but when I realised I had cried over something every day for 5 days straight, I made a doctor's appointment. He was brilliant and listened to everything I said, and told me that I have symptoms of both depression and anxiety, with some compulsive behaviour as a result.

I am finding it very hard to accept being someone who needs help. I am generally an outgoing and optimistic person and feeling the way I do is just... I feel like I have no right to feel this low. I feel guilty about worrying my partner, my family and my close friends. I feel guilty about everything actually. I have very little motivation and I know it's the depression but there's still a little voice in my head berating me for being lazy.

I don't know why I'm posting this here, I suppose just to put it out there. The more I open up about it, the more I'm accepting it.

The GP also said I need counselling so I've contacted 2 counsellors this week but neither have gotten back to me. Has anyone else struggled to find a counsellor, is it because of the pandemic? I was just using the IACP website to find ones in my area. A friend has recommended a counsellor who they said is excellent but they are a bit above my budget.

Wanderer78

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I started anti-depressants for the first time this week (50mg sertraline).

I've had other black fuzzy periods in my life, a couple of which I look back on and understand I should have gotten more help than I did, but all of which tied in with massively stressful life events. This time there has been no one big thing, but when I realised I had cried over something every day for 5 days straight, I made a doctor's appointment. He was brilliant and listened to everything I said, and told me that I have symptoms of both depression and anxiety, with some compulsive behaviour as a result.

I am finding it very hard to accept being someone who needs help. I am generally an outgoing and optimistic person and feeling the way I do is just... I feel like I have no right to feel this low. I feel guilty about worrying my partner, my family and my close friends. I feel guilty about everything actually. I have very little motivation and I know it's the depression but there's still a little voice in my head berating me for being lazy.

I don't know why I'm posting this here, I suppose just to put it out there. The more I open up about it, the more I'm accepting it.

The GP also said I need counselling so I've contacted 2 counsellors this week but neither have gotten back to me. Has anyone else struggled to find a counsellor, is it because of the pandemic? I was just using the IACP website to find ones in my area. A friend has recommended a counsellor who they said is excellent but they are a bit above my budget.

...again, please be kind to yourself, all humans are susceptible to these issues, some of us more so than others, but you ve probably made the biggest step ever in your life. communicating to your loved ones your thoughts and feelings is critical, you done a great job explaining it to us above, maybe just explain to them what you said here, they will be supportive and understanding, as they love you. i suspect finding a counsellor will be hard for some time, i suspect its normally difficult around this time of the year under normal circumstances, but we re clearly not in normal times, so.... but please keep trying, it may also take a couple of different therapists to find the right one for you, and of course, going privately, normally isnt cheap, one of my own being 70 euro a pop, but its worth it. i wish you the best

Wanderer78

i follow a couple of therapists on youtube, they may or may not help others here, im sure theres many on youtube that i havent discovered yet, feel free to add your own

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyGOloOIJWt8NlE4tnejQeA/videos

https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton/videos

https://www.youtube.com/user/lcruz71/videos

https://www.youtube.com/user/MarksPsych/videos

charlietheminxx

@Wanderer78 thanks so much for your kind words and thoughts.

I have opened up to a couple of people over the last few days as the doctor emphasised the importance of a support network, particularly as the first couple of weeks on SSRIs can be tough. It was difficult to do but I'm glad I did it and everyone has been great. I just feel weird and uncomfortable relying on others, I love to help others but struggling with accepting help myself.

I'm very lucky that I'm not seeing any dramatic side-effects so far - my jaw intermittently hurts and I feel a bit nauseous, my eyes are a bit fuzzy for a while in the morning, but it is all manageable. I don't sleep well anyway so no changes there.

Yesterday I dug out an unused wellness journal I bought one January with good intentions, and I'm using that as something to track my days.