Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

RabbleRouser2k

Sleeps been all over the place this week, Tuesday and Thursday had me sleeping 14-16 hours straight. Lots of stuff that I needed to do this week, and even stayed up 26 hours straight because someone needed my help early Thursday morning and evening. Often wasn't able to get to my home office for more than an hour or two altogether, this week.

Meeoow

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I started anti-depressants for the first time this week (50mg sertraline).


I am finding it very hard to accept being someone who needs help. I am generally an outgoing and optimistic person and feeling the way I do is just... I feel like I have no right to feel this low. I feel guilty about worrying my partner, my family and my close friends. I feel guilty about everything actually. I have very little motivation and I know it's the depression but there's still a little voice in my head berating me for being lazy.

I don't know why I'm posting this here, I suppose just to put it out there. The more I open up about it, the more I'm accepting it.

I know what you mean about feeling guilty, and no right to feel this low. I have depression from my teens and recently have anxiety too, which I find is much harder to manage than depression. I feel ashamed that I have this illness, and I don't share it with anyone. People say you should talk about it, but it's not like a broken leg, or sore back. There is still a stigma around mental illness, and I have come across plenty of people who think it's a made up illness. I wish it were.
It's hard to get motivated, unfortunately action comes before motivation, so you have to force yourself to do stuff, even though you don't feel like it.

SMC92Ian

It's very quite in here lately apart from 1 or 2 regs.

Hope everyone is okay and doing better.

Stay Safe!

charlietheminxx

I spent most of yesterday evening with a brutal headache and a burning hot face. I’m glad the doctor and pharmacist both warned me to expect feeling awful, because at the moment it feels like my physical symptoms are a manifestation of what’s going on inside me. I hope that doesn’t sound too strange.

Tried to get more sleep but I’ve been wide awake since 6am. Headache gone so it seems it might be a good time to get up and do a few bits around the house while I have the energy.

Hope everyone else is doing ok this Saturday morning.

tdf7187

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Sleeps been all over the place this week, Tuesday and Thursday had me sleeping 14-16 hours straight. Lots of stuff that I needed to do this week, and even stayed up 26 hours straight because someone needed my help early Thursday morning and evening. Often wasn't able to get to my home office for more than an hour or two altogether, this week.

Been oversleeping also. I don't suffer from insomnia, but the opposite, hypersomnia I think it's called.

Wanderer78

tdf7187 wrote: »

Been oversleeping also. I don't suffer from insomnia, but the opposite, hypersomnia I think it's called.

this has happened me before, this is a pain in the hole also, thankfully my sleep is pretty good at the moment, ive a fairly solid sleep routine, which im largely sticking to, the odd sh1tty night, but largely not too bad. i got one of those fitness bands to keep track of things, my perception of my sleep could be worse than my actual sleep, according to the band

One More Toy

Slept most of today, zero appetite and zero motivation

RabbleRouser2k

One More Toy wrote: »

Slept most of today, zero appetite and zero motivation

That was me for the last few days. Very erratic sleep. Went to bed at 6pm yesterday, woke today at 3pm. Most days I work on 6 hours or 8 hours sleep. The last few months have sometimes been 4 hours sleep, 4 hours nap kinda day.

Didn't help the weather was so crappy and the daylight so scarce. The last 7 or 8 days coincided with the birthday of a deceased family member. It sticks in my mind.

I sort of buried myself in work, which wasn't helpful. Made my sleep worse.

One More Toy

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

That was me for the last few days. Very erratic sleep. Went to bed at 6pm yesterday, woke today at 3pm. Most days I work on 6 hours or 8 hours sleep. The last few months have sometimes been 4 hours sleep, 4 hours nap kinda day.

Didn't help the weather was so crappy and the daylight so scarce. The last 7 or 8 days coincided with the birthday of a deceased family member. It sticks in my mind.

I sort of buried myself in work, which wasn't helpful. Made my sleep worse.

Sorry to hear that, be kind to yourself in these times

RabbleRouser2k

One More Toy wrote: »

Sorry to hear that, be kind to yourself in these times

We're in the same boat, unfortunately. I'm thinking I might need to get the SAD lamp out. That's been a benefit at times.

Maybe a vitamin or two. Winter can be weird.

The dark evenings are rough. I hope you're taking care of yourself too. I know when my aunt was fighting cancer, over decade ago, she was told write things down, on a sheet of paper, then burn it. She was worried about things, about her family, in case she didn't survive. (She survived, and she's been cancer free for years). Writing it down, then burning it, helped to just rid her of her worries.

One More Toy

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

We're in the same boat, unfortunately. I'm thinking I might need to get the SAD lamp out. That's been a benefit at times.

Maybe a vitamin or two. Winter can be weird.

The dark evenings are rough. I hope you're taking care of yourself too. I know when my aunt was fighting cancer, over decade ago, she was told write things down, on a sheet of paper, then burn it. She was worried about things, about her family, in case she didn't survive. (She survived, and she's been cancer free for years). Writing it down, then burning it, helped to just rid her of her worries.

I've always wondered about sad lamps, do you find they actually work?

I'm taking lidls multivitamin daily here

RabbleRouser2k

One More Toy wrote: »

I've always wondered about sad lamps, do you find they actually work?

I'm taking lidls multivitamin daily here

I have found a benefit to them. They're not for everyone, however.

Like, you mentioned Lidl multivitamin. My brother was taking that, and he found great benefit to it. But I had to take a different one because it wasn't helping me.

Different strokes, different folks.

4Ad

Has anyone tried the Wim Hof breathing exercise? I started during the week, I have found it great not only for the body but also the mind,really helps the mind stop racing and over thinking..
It is a very strange feeling though..

Sardonicat

4Ad wrote: »

Has anyone tried the Wim Hof breathing exercise? I started during the week, I have found it great not only for the body but also the mind,really helps the mind stop racing and over thinking..
It is a very strange feeling though..

I've not heard if that. Any links?

4Ad

https://youtu.be/tybOi4hjZFQ

Hope it helps ....

sunshinew

4Ad wrote: »

https://youtu.be/tybOi4hjZFQ

Hope it helps ....

Thanks so much for this - never heard of it before and just did it after reading your message Have to say I definitely feel something, more alive in my body and a bit floaty. Will try to keep it up!

4Ad

sunshinew wrote: »

Thanks so much for this - never heard of it before and just did it after reading your message Have to say I definitely feel something, more alive in my body and a bit floaty. Will try to keep it up!

Delighted. Strange but nice feeing..I wouldn't generally believe in this...
But it definitely works for me..

Wanderer78

RabbleRouser2k wrote:

Didn't help the weather was so crappy and the daylight so scarce. The last 7 or 8 days coincided with the birthday of a deceased family member. It sticks in my mind.

Christmas time is anniversary time for us, it's a very painful time of the year for us, it also highlights my own loneliness, it's a difficult time of year.

4Ad wrote:

Delighted. Strange but nice feeing..I wouldn't generally believe in this... But it definitely works for me..

Breathing and meditation go hand in hand, well known to reduce anxiety and centering the body and mind, I really should do more myself, it's used a lot in yoga, it's very peaceful, can't wait for yoga classes to return

Graces7

being brutalised by the machine they call HSE to the extent that even when I cut them off they change address and send mail.

just sheer brutality; they know I am old and ill and in pain. and don't give a damn. at the end here; just wanted them to leave me alone and they have refuse even that. they tried to trick me but I know the rules. they exist fro the drs.


makes wondering re the number of suicides in ireland when that is how they treat folk like me. they exists for the drs who can behave as damagingly as they want. we are just junk to them.

just at the end now. utterly weary and in great pain. at the very end. closing down.

they have consistently avoided the real issue of my complaint, time and again. even tried plea bargaining. and always that the only way to get meds is through the dr who has caused the problem...ignoring my real complaint . I have submitted a full report to the GMC about her misdemeanours.

The only thing I ever asked of any GP was pain meds and emergency. I know they do not know re M.E/CFS so cope with that. Had an excellent Gp in Kerry so I know it is possible.

This comes close to blackmail now in the way it is termed. It really does.

And invading my email like that? They did that just to say they mailed me.

well, as I know this GP does not prescribe anything stronger than Panadol ? She can go... ******

charlietheminxx

I don't know the background of what's going on with you Grace but please hang on in there. I hope you find someone helpful in the health service who can help you get everything straightened out.

Graces7

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I don't know the background of what's going on with you Grace but please hang on in there. I hope you find someone helpful in the health service who can help you get everything straightened out.

Thanks. There will be no help from within the Health Board. period.

All I ever sought was effective pain meds... and emergency care.

So no pain meds?

Had they said, here is your usual prescription so we can sort this out sensibly? FIne. Civilised. But they went the other way and they know it is codeine. ie no OTC and know I am in pain.

It is the sheer nastiness that really destroys the entire complaints process.

I did just remember something though; a dr against who there is a formal complaint cannot continue to treat that patient. Will drop that to them.

This is going outside the HSE now. Had hoped else. Their "choice". I have done all the paperwork.

charlietheminxx

I'm feeling so nauseous and jittery today, with intermittent headaches. It's annoying because yesterday was an alright day for me and I thought I was adjusting to the antidepressants but apparently not. I'm forgetful as well. I just want to feel like my old self again.

Wanderer78

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I'm feeling so nauseous and jittery today, with intermittent headaches. It's annoying because yesterday was an alright day for me and I thought I was adjusting to the antidepressants but apparently not. I'm forgetful as well. I just want to feel like my old self again.

im on sertraline myself, my first ssri, only on it a few months, side effects arent the most nicest, im having a lot of eye issues, which has been fairly bad at times. ive been slowly reducing the dosage over the last few weeks, i cant go any lower at the moment, eyes are settling, but theres still issues there. i have memory issues anyway, but i think its a little worse on the medication

charlietheminxx

Wanderer78 wrote: »

im on sertraline myself, my first ssri, only on it a few months, side effects arent the most nicest, im having a lot of eye issues, which has been fairly bad at times. ive been slowly reducing the dosage over the last few weeks, i cant go any lower at the moment, eyes are settling, but theres still issues there. i have memory issues anyway, but i think its a little worse on the medication

Ah no, I'm so sorry to hear that. I've noticed my eyes are mildly blurry in the mornings and then again at the end of the day if I've been working and had a lot of screen time. It hasn't been the biggest thing for me though.

Have you felt overall that the sertraline has helped though? Trying to hang on to hope that this is all going to be worth it!

One good thing so far is that I'm sleeping a bit better. That is a big relief for me.

Wanderer78

charlietheminxx wrote: »

Ah no, I'm so sorry to hear that. I've noticed my eyes are mildly blurry in the mornings and then again at the end of the day if I've been working and had a lot of screen time. It hasn't been the biggest thing for me though.

Have you felt overall that the sertraline has helped though? Trying to hang on to hope that this is all going to be worth it!

One good thing so far is that I'm sleeping a bit better. That is a big relief for me.

yea its a pain in the hole, its taken a couple of months for my eyes to settle, but theres still issues there, and im overdue for an eye test. my sight is naturally deteriorating anyway, i probably need glasses now, but theres no point in getting them tested, until they have settled. my medical card test runs out in a few weeks, so i ll have to get them tested soon, before it does, no matter what state my eyes are.

i felt the difference almost immediately with taking the tablets, im glad i made the decision, i resisted for a very long time, but im glad now, side effects are just a pain in the hole, doc prefers this brand over others, so im reluctant to try others.

ive sleep issues myself, tis common with my disorder, my own sleep is also settling, but ive been making an effort to help that, and its working, theres nothing worse than sleep issues

charlietheminxx

Deffo worth getting your eyes tested anyway, even if you need to change prescription down the line, getting glasses could be a big improvement. I resisted for too long but I couldn't imagine being without them for work/reading now.

My doctor said the same about sertraline, that for a lot of people it seems to be the most effective with the least amount of serious side effects. Everyone is different though so I just have to hope my brain plays ball.

People underestimate just how important sleep is, a few times I felt like I'd be able to handle other things better if I wasn't running on insufficient sleep. It's a cyclical thing as well isn't it? The worse you sleep, the worse you feel, the worse you sleep etc. etc.

Gremlinertia

My eyes have been bad the last while and it took me ages to realise why, i feel really stupid but it's the mask wearing at work, i'm a mouth breather and the normal disposable ones direct my breath up, little bit of adjustment has helped..

seamusk84

seamusk84 wrote: »

I am currently on the waiting list to be admitted as an inpatient at St. Pats as of last week. Anyone know what the situation is like in there currently with everything going on?
Have things slowed up for admittance for instance with a longer waiting list?
Ideally I'd like to get in and out before December (although unlikely now) because I don't want to end up spending the holidays away from home!

Update: Got a call and going in later this week. Will check in with you all next week to let you know how things are in there.

PMBC

seamusk84 wrote: »

Update: Got a call and going in later this week. Will check in with you all next week to let you know how things are in there.

Best of luck and hope it goes well for you.

Wanderer78

seamusk84 wrote:

Update: Got a call and going in later this week. Will check in with you all next week to let you know how things are in there.

Look after yourself