Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Ok, meds done for today so i've managed that, but definitely very down, can even notice the change in posture and different tensions in my body.. Looking over skills i've been taught, here's hoping..

*hugs*

Hope this passes for you soon, Grem.

Gremlinertia

It will pass, i have to believe in that as much as i can. However much like my other condition, the pain can descend suddenly and heavily. Oh well..

BorneTobyWilde

Watched ' a girl like her '' last night.
Why is it people only care when it's too late

Gremlinertia

It's hard to see signs when they emerge very slowly like they can in some people, in other cases friends and family are scared and possibly unsure what to say. In my case i had managed to isolate myself quite thoroughly over time until things got to a point where i realised i couldn't continue the way i was.

StripedBoxers

Not having a good night tonight. Feeling very down.

Something exciting was happened this week and I thought it could work but it seems that it's not going to happen and the other person won't be upfront about it instead leaving me to guess, which makes me anxious.

Like ffs just be honest about it.

Gremlinertia

I take it you can't exactly get a straight answer out of them Boxers?.

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I take it you can't exactly get a straight answer out of them Boxers?.

Unfortunately not. Waiting is the only thing I can do, either they'll tell me or their behaviour will. I've a feeling it'll be their behaviour that tells me to be honest.

Gremlinertia

Ouch, would have hoped a direct yes or no question to them would have been an option..

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Ouch, would have hoped a direct yes or no question to them would have been an option..

I wish it was.

If I asked directly it would make it extremely awkward given I have to see this person every day for the next while and it'll be awkward regardless I think so I don't want to make it even more awkward.

Gremlinertia

That is very frustrating

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That is very frustrating

Yeah it is, and its making me anxious thus bringing my mood down as well.

I can't understand this not being upfront business, it does no good, at all.

The thoughts of this week now has me on a serious downer.

Gremlinertia

I think if it was me and i'd be around them anyway i'd feel awkward so i'd ask. The stress would mess me up like it's doing to you.

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I think if it was me and i'd be around them anyway i'd feel awkward so i'd ask. The stress would mess me up like it's doing to you.

I could ask, but it would be even more awkward then to be honest, by not asking and either letting them tell me or letting their behaviour tell me it'd be less awkward as I'd have answer either way without forcing it, if that makes sense.

I would normally ask straight out but this is one time that I can't I don't think.

Gremlinertia

Oh to have a crystal ball eh?.

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Oh to have a crystal ball eh?.

A crystal ball indeed.

God what I wouldn't give for one!

mansize

Ok sleep pattern absolutely wrecked

Gremlinertia

The only thing i really do regarding sleep is try and make sure i'm in bed between noon and three every day. Other than that there is no pattern.

drugstore cowboy

Anyone find the warm, humid days and nights makes their anxiety/mood worse? I actually improve mentally in the winter!

Gremlinertia

I find the humidity/heat difficult to sleep in which does mess with my mood a lot.

StripedBoxers

drugstore cowboy wrote: »

Anyone find the warm, humid days and nights makes their anxiety/mood worse? I actually improve mentally in the winter!

I'm the very same. I hate the summer. Much prefer the winter time. It's much nicer.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I find the humidity/heat difficult to sleep in which does mess with my mood a lot.

It's horrible to sleep in, it's very uncomfortable and the broken sleep or no sleep some nights is a killer

Gremlinertia

Because of another health problem i have winter can exacerbate pain levels so i can't really say one time of year above another.

Shint0

drugstore cowboy wrote: »

Anyone find the warm, humid days and nights makes their anxiety/mood worse? I actually improve mentally in the winter!

Seasonal Affective Disorder is more commonly associated with winter but some people do report an onset in summer as well. For seasonal influences I am usually more affected with the winter type and can start around mid to late August. Hate it as everything starts closing in.

failinis

Why the fúck did I choose to do a degree in art.
I am so concerned about life after I graduate and being a burden and drain on my parents. What am I going to do.
One sibling is causing extreme problems at home, and we know its playing up and its so on edge. I really don't know any more.

Shint0

failinis wrote: »

Why the fúck did I choose to do a degree in art.
I am so concerned about life after I graduate and being a burden and drain on my parents. What am I going to do.
One sibling is causing extreme problems at home, and we know its playing up and its so on edge. I really don't know any more.

Is that in the visual arts or art administration?
A lot of people don't necessarily end up in careers directly related to their degree but it's always possible to find an alternative avenue of employment where the knowledge and skills can be applied.

I think it's better to approach a course from the interest you have in the field rather than starting from the point of future prospective earnings. I think you will be generally happier overall and there are always ways to build a career from your course if you think about it strategically. If you enjoy the course then stick with it, Failinis, would be my advice. Most people now continue to engage in some form of continuous professional development anyway and may even end up with a few various different careers throughout their lifetime.

failinis

Shint0 wrote: »

Is that in the visual arts or art administration?
A lot of people don't necessarily end up in careers directly related to their degree but it's always possible to find an alternative avenue of employment where the knowledge and skills can be applied.

I think it's better to approach a course from the interest you have in the field rather than starting from the point of future prospective earnings. I think you will be generally happier overall and there are always ways to build a career from your course if you think about it strategically. If you enjoy the course then stick with it, Failinis, would be my advice. Most people now continue to engage in some form of continuous professional development anyway and may even end up with a few various different careers throughout their lifetime.

Visual area.
Everyone says "Oh you are doing arts, how great to follow what you love" but I have not enjoyed a single moment. I have such stress trying to stay on top of competition and worrying so much about my future.
Of course, I may not end up in this area at all in the end up, its just I keep putting stress upon myself and making my own life harder.
It just feels like I am wasting myself instead of doing something useful like medicine or law.

Shint0

failinis wrote: »

Visual area.
Everyone says "Oh you are doing arts, how great to follow what you love" but I have not enjoyed a single moment. I have such stress trying to stay on top of competition and worrying so much about my future.
Of course, I may not end up in this area at all in the end up, its just I keep putting stress upon myself and making my own life harder.
It just feels like I am wasting myself instead of doing something useful like medicine or law.

A lot of high level occupations can be stressful too but I think it is important for people to choose an area that they feel meets their desired goals and reflect their values.

Would it possible to switch to a different course at this stage or would it affect your funding? If you are interested in pursuing employment that meets a social objective there would be opportunities within the arts field in that regard but I think it is important to trust your gut feeling if you think something is not right for you. That's what I did.

I started out doing one degree but I just wasn't passionate about it and it did cause me some stress at the time. So I switched to a different course in the same university which reflected my personality better and I found a niche in that area.

failinis

Shint0 wrote: »

failinis wrote: »

Visual area.
Everyone says "Oh you are doing arts, how great to follow what you love" but I have not enjoyed a single moment. I have such stress trying to stay on top of competition and worrying so much about my future.
Of course, I may not end up in this area at all in the end up, its just I keep putting stress upon myself and making my own life harder.
It just feels like I am wasting myself instead of doing something useful like medicine or law.

A lot of high level occupations can be stressful too but I think it is important for people to choose an area that they feel meets their desired goals and reflect their values.

Would it possible to switch to a different course at this stage or would it affect your funding? If you are interested in pursuing employment that meets a social objective there would be opportunities within the arts field in that regard but I think it is important to trust your gut feeling if you think something is not right for you. That's what I did.

I started out doing one degree but I just wasn't passionate about it and it did cause me some stress at the time. So I switched to a different course in the same university which reflected my personality better and I found a niche in that area.

I think the only thing I am good for is the arts. I have no other skills and I feel like this is the right degree for me. But? I feel like I am wrong in doing something that causes me stress but if I left this course then I would have nothing.
I just have such **** feelings for the future.

Tell me how

failinis wrote:

I think the only thing I am good for is the arts.

If you believe this then go for it. Don't apologize, don't doubt yourself.

Doing something you love is so much better than just selecting something safe. There are 1000's of posts on 100's of threads from people who hate their job and wish they were doing something they liked.

There will be ups and downs, everyone has those. That's life.

Shint0

Yes, that does make sense, Failinis. It sounds like the arts is probably right for you and possibly the issue is more to do with stress management which can be worked on but rest assured I think a lot of people at that stage in college do have concerns about future career directions.

There are usually various student services which can offer supports around studying and disabilty services in colleges can be quite good in offering support if that's something might apply to you. It might also help to set up an appointment with the college careers office when you return just to start exploring some future career directions but I know you have other concerns and worries at the moment too.

I hope you can find a little relaxation at the moment for the rest of your holidays and you clearly have a natural talent for photography. I was still thinking and smiling about that duck pic for a while afterwards

Pablodreamsofnew

Family drama today and it has really upset me. I have been going through a lot lately. A lot of stress and some health issue etc. Tried to do a good helpful gesture and family member exploded at me. Wasn't the first time this said family member has done this but I think because I'm older now, that is it for me. I am done with this person. Some words cannot be undo. The thing is this family member can never see the hurtful things they said ever. It's kind of one way vision thing. Anyway sadly cutting them out of my life now. I was wondering should I and my husband read the messages and he was shocked.

I think there comes a stage in your life where you just cannot have these toxic relationships anymore. I guess it's a good thing I can protect myself now and say enough is enough.

Very anxious today though and have been crying a lot. ugh.

failinis

@tell me + Shint - I think the fact I know I will end up working in some clothes shop after wasting 3years (more like 6yrs including a levels and foundation) is making it all seem futile. Yeah I gave sometime thats a hobby a go but I will always end up back where I was. Of course no one can do anything with this outlook on life but its what I have been given.

Gremlinertia

Some very brave things said and done by posters here today and I'm just about keeping my physical balance on my way to another job.

Pablodreamsofnew

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Some very brave things said and done by posters here today and I'm just about keeping my physical balance on my way to another job.

Not falling over is a daily challenge for me. I dropped a plate on my feet yesterday and it managed to cute my feet in the weirdest places. I am always tripping/dropping/swaying that my husband doesn't even acknowledge it anymore

StripedBoxers

Not having a good week this week. Few other things going on as well, everything at once now has my anxiety high and my mood low.

I just want to cry with it at all now to be honest. I'm just fed up.

Gremlinertia

Still feeling quite shaken after whatever that episode i had earlier was. Not felt that dissociated for a while, the recent lack of therapy and my own forgetfulness are definitely messing me up..

failinis

failinis wrote: »

@tell me + Shint - I think the fact I know I will end up working in some clothes shop after wasting 3years (more like 6yrs including a levels and foundation) is making it all seem futile. Yeah I gave sometime thats a hobby a go but I will always end up back where I was. Of course no one can do anything with this outlook on life but its what I have been given.

How do you mean "it's what you've been given"?

BaaLamb

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Not having a good week this week. Few other things going on as well, everything at once now has my anxiety high and my mood low.

I just want to cry with it at all now to be honest. I'm just fed up.

I can empathise as have been feeling this way as well. I'm like a bloody yo-yo. Hugs to you and hope you feel better soon.

BaaLamb

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Still feeling quite shaken after whatever that episode i had earlier was. Not felt that dissociated for a while, the recent lack of therapy and my own forgetfulness are definitely messing me up..

(((Hugs)))

ivytwine

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Still feeling quite shaken after whatever that episode i had earlier was. Not felt that dissociated for a while, the recent lack of therapy and my own forgetfulness are definitely messing me up..

Big hug xx

StripedBoxers

*hugs* Grem, I hope you're okay. I hope things improve for you and you feel better soon.

StripedBoxers

*hugs* Grem, I hope you're okay. I hope things improve for you and you feel better soon.

Pablodreamsofnew

Hope you feel better Grem. Sending happy vibes your way.

Such a busy day today but I do like to be busy. Feeling really happy and relaxed so i know I made the right choice. X

BaaLamb

Feel so unbelievably hopeless and lost. I have to go to social welfare today as I have been made redundant and I'm really struggling to get out of bed and face it. I'm terrified of having to deal with them as I've never been made redundant before. Then poor OH is also struggling to find work before his contract ends this month. I feel doomed.

murria

BaaLamb wrote: »

Feel so unbelievably hopeless and lost. I have to go to social welfare today as I have been made redundant and I'm really struggling to get out of bed and face it. I'm terrified of having to deal with them as I've never been made redundant before. Then poor OH is also struggling to find work before his contract ends this month. I feel doomed.

Baa Lamb, I was once in your situation and I remember the anxiety in anticipation of my first visit to SW. The reality was very different from what I imagined and the staff were very helpful and treated me with dignity, the woman who handled my ongoing case was really supportive and was genuinely happy for mewhen I eventually got sorted. You've done nothing wrong, you've paid into the system and you will be entitled to benefits to tide you over until you find something else. You're not doomed, we all hit a rocky patch now and again. Take your time and try not to think too far ahead, you can get through this. Hope all goes well today.

BaaLamb

The lady in Intreo was very nice and has made me an appointment for next week. I have a big form to fill in and a lot of paperwork to get together which in my current frame of mind is a bit daunting.

I've been trying for jobs outside the sector I've always worked in because there are such limited opportunities available in my sector. It hasn't been successful thus far, big fat rejections I've also registered for some factory work but so far feedback has been that I'm overqualified *sighs* Can't win really can I.
I don't know guys I seem to be unable to shake this low mood this year and the anxiety is also pretty relentless. Add redundancy for me and a soon to jobless husband and I just want to give up and stay in bed forever.

murria

Well done on getting through today's ordeal Baa Lamb. Now do something nice for yourself, maybe just feet up and a coffee, watch Countdown like me , or a bit of quality time with your family.

BaaLamb

Thanks Murria. It is really helpful to post the jumble of thoughts in my mind otherwise they just increase the painful knot of anxiety in my stomach. Another day nearly done at least and I survived it and the challenges it presented.

failinis

Even thinking about this waiting is sickening me.

Hopefully its not one certain illness.

But regardless I have an illness and I will never be healthy.

Waiting around for these 2 results is doing my head in and I have had some very **** years, especially 2013, 14 and 15.

Looks like 2016 is a dogs ****ing dinner too.

pew

Really struggling this week, if I'm honest.

I can't hold it together

BaaLamb

No wonder you're finding the waiting hard, it is a very difficult thing to do when you are anxious about an outcome. I'm with you on 2016 being a dogs dinner People keep telling me it will get better, when I say?