Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120998726#Comment_120998726

I've never tried Aware. But I did volunteer with Samaritans for a couple of years and actually used them once. Did you try the Samaritans? Don't be afraid to give them a call. Morning, afternoon, early evening is the quietest time to call them.

Also, maybe you or your OH or family member has an employee assistance program or private health care with work, which may include counselling to dependents and close relatives. Sometimes it's not obvious these benefits might be available.

SuperBowserWorld

Taking today off work. Just burned out from everything in work and at home. Things are way too complicated, stressful and worrying.

RobbingBandit

keep falling into thoughts of despair currently am due to find out if I am having a surgery done this week that has perpetually been put on hold every few months since 2017 this is the nearest it has come so far.

I'm routinely harming myself due to pain and anxiety issues and am in a haze mood chaos thinking it's not going to happen have just had two appointments unrelated cancelled since 9am and don't want to even bother getting out of bed.

Life gets me down with no end in sight to all the uncertainty unlike most the only certainly for me is uncertainties.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006057#Comment_121006057

Waiting for non routine surgery is exhausting. Sets anxiety and depression levels right up. And especially with all the messing during covid and the health service here. I've had 5 since 2015 on a very personal and quality of life limiting issue I'm not going to go into here. It was like success, fail, success, fall, success ...everything seems ok at the moment with that particular issue. But I'm constantly worried about it. Also waiting for a check up. And the hospital just doesn't seem to want to answer the phone. I've put my life on hold because of it. And that's just one problem in my life. I've gone down some self destructive routes but luckily came back. I'm avoiding these routes currently. Day by day. I'm tired of beating myself up too, comparing myself to others. So, I'm trying really hard to say **** it instead of beating myself up.

Sunrise_Sunset

Started on meds this week. First time. Long time anxiety sufferer but mostly manageable. This is the 2nd major spiral I've had. The first one was 10 years ago and lasted maybe 18 months or so.

I do not feel good so far on the meds.

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121048124#Comment_121048124

They take a while I'm sure the doc mentioned it, stick with it, finding a type and dosage can be tricky.. There's a few "old hands" on here that have been through it if you want support.

Sunrise_Sunset

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121048148#Comment_121048148

Yeah I'm expecting a tough couple of weeks. I started Monday on Sertraline. Two weeks at this dose, and then an increase. I hate that I "feel like I'm on drugs". I hope it won't continue when my dosage increases.

Gremlinertia

It takes patience, it's not nice but hopefully you have some support and there's always a few around here

RabbleRouser2k

Having a weird anxious day today. Feels like that feeling of waiting on results from medical tests, or something.

(I haven't had any medical tests, just describing the feeling).

Just on edge all day, weirdly panicky from the moment I woke up, and I overslept as well. Woke up feeling 'off'. I've been mostly calm for the last few weeks, nothing major and not too bothered by disturbances in daily plans. Usually I make a peppermint tea and that helps chill me out, but forgot to do that. Felt cold as well, had to put on the heating, despite it being no colder than other days.

Feels like the seasons (literal seasons, not a metaphor) changed so rapidly. Probably going to have to make some adjustments, put on extra clothing too so I'm not feeling cold all day.

Gremlinertia

I'm on edge and I don't know if it's an actual full moon effect or the fact that work is always nuts around one

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121049692#Comment_121049692

Hadn't thought about the moon... might be a factor. It can effect melatonin.

Gremlinertia

The power it has on water has me convinced!

SuperBowserWorld

Editing ....feeling absolute crap today.

RabbleRouser2k

Been numb for the last few days.

An uncle of mine has been given a terminal diagnosis, with mere months left to live. It's just thrown me, and many people I know are saying the same thing.

He's in hospital right now, and his children have asked for us to go in to see him.

It's an absolutely horrible situation to be in, in that one of his children had an accident earlier in the year which they're still recuperating from, and will mean major life changes. And his sister (my aunt) passed away suddenly last year.

When my dad was in the hospice, taking his last breaths, my uncle stayed with him. Just a genuine kind of person.

Now his children are asking us for advice in terms of end of life care, how to get certain things that may be needed such as adjustable beds and hoists to help a person get out of bed, or out of a chair.

It's affecting everyone, myself included. And sleep is interrupted, with waking and sleeping, and feeling like one has gotten no rest at all.

Gremlinertia

Session with psychologist yesterday was a mess, completely dissociated for most of it.. Then later my good mate is diagnosed with cancer.. Head is a swirling mess..

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121078934#Comment_121078934

I'm very sorry to hear that Grem. I know the dissociation thing can be an odd feeling, but to hear a friend is battling cancer is the worst news one can get.

SuperBowserWorld

Head spinning around. Can't think without panicking.

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121093035#Comment_121093035

I'm hearing that today. There's just no rest from it, I've done so much work with a psychologist but my mind sabotages things frequently

I’ve always had anxiety/depression/ADHD symptoms; during this year was diagnosed with MS, something I know I’ve had for decades, but it certainly accounts for some of the very difficult stuff in my head, have a lot of brain lesions affecting balance, mobility, sensation, core body functions and mood/thinking. More recently I had to undergo tests to see if I’m fit enough to sustain the proposed treatment regime, but certain things have been thrown up on screening which are causing immense added anxiety. To be investigated for potential cervical cancer, may have to face at least surgical treatment, then a cardiac investigation showed up 4 faults in my heart, hypertrophy of left ventricle, early triscuspid & mitral value dysfunction, dilation of right atrium pericardial effusion, things that don’t get better per se, and care an added cause of fatigue, brain fog, and lack of fitness. Trying desperately to distract myself, but with such poor focus it’s hard to do.

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121093565#Comment_121093565

That's a full on shopping list of stuff, have you been offered any mental health support or community nurse type thing?

SuperBowserWorld

...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121093615#Comment_121093615

No, a lot of my healthcare is all over the place, some here, some there, and whilst my GP is pleasant you have to put the skates under him for everything. Pushing for things to be done hasn’t been straightforward and has added to the stress. Eg, he was unable to make an online referral to the public MS clinic, didn’t seem to have the set-up on his computer to do so or else the know-how to use it. I ended up asking him to print it out and sent it through registered post. These times patients have to do an awful lot of own record keeping and passing medical letters to other consultants. I’m getting to read these letters before talking to the consultants, and whilst I’m fascinated by science & physiology, it can by a bit full-on reading one’s own medical reports without any expert to discuss it with. I was specifically instructed to get the heart report from the private hospital, print out a copy to give to the anaesthetist in the public hospital to reassure him/her my heart is in fit shape. All I see is a list of things wrong with it and nobody to help me interpret it. Google is my resource and everything kind of looks doomsday. It’s great for patients to have a handle on their own records, but without the perspective of an experienced medical professional to discuss the implications I’m in limbo. I don’t know if that will cancel or delay the procedure to rule out potential cancer, so my head is literally in a spin of added anxiety.

Sunrise_Sunset

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121093804#Comment_121093804

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. The main anxiety I have is health anxiety and I've needed lots of tests and scans this year too, which has sent me spiralling out of control. Very difficult to deal with. Do you have any other support?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121094180#Comment_121094180

I live alone, no siblings. However I make sure to keep broader family & contacts well informed of updates in circulars and I do get offers of help from people who are in a position to do, and people send me email & WhatsApp chats, I attend MS Ireland events etc. By nature I’m generally hugely independent, and many I know are going through their own immense struggles, eg cancer, coping with dying relative, all sorts of things as bad and much worse than I’m facing.

SuperBowserWorld

Completely overwhelmed today. Have psychologist appointment this evening and carer support meeting before that. And trying to get work work done before all of that. And that's a **** show. Just completely burned out.

Dazler97

I'm in the middle of changing over antidepressants and it's been so so tough I'm 26 been depressed since 14 ,it's so difficult at the moment but what I will say is last weeks warm spell helped alot but now back to the awful Atlantic conveyor belt of low and low ugh ,hope everyone else is alright

Robert Nairac

Lads, what the hell do you do when the medication doesn't work? Trying a 4th type of antidepressant and haven't had any luck so far.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121127906#Comment_121127906

Yes, the weather is very depressing. I've a ton of problems to deal with, but it's much easier when the sun is out. Now, I just feel awful. Stay away from coffee, alcohol and try to get lots of rest, and regular exercise..

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121131269#Comment_121131269

It can take a frustrating amount of time to find the right med and dosage, all I can say is be patient.

Sunrise_Sunset

I'm on my 3rd week of meds and I can feel the difference already, thankfully. I hope it lasts.

Has anyone's GP put them on the HSE Silvercloud programme? I'm doing it now and am finding it helpful.