Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

ivytwine

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Back from hiding on my days off. How are ye?.

Awful today tbh Grem.... Hope you're feeling ok today.

Gremlinertia

ivytwine wrote: »

Awful today tbh Grem.... Hope you're feeling ok today.

I read about your landlord, you've got rights there so try not to let it get to you. Also there is an accommodation forum where you could look stuff up or ask questions. Hugs your way.

ivytwine

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I read about your landlord, you've got rights there so try not to let it get to you. Also there is an accommodation forum where you could look stuff up or ask questions. Hugs your way.

Thanks I'm strangely not that worried about it now that I've got over the shock. It's just another way for my life to go on fire.

Work is driving me INSANE at the moment. It's probably not the best time to move but I have to do something or I'll snap totally.

Gremlinertia

Work is awful my side lately too. You have my sympathies for all the good that is!. Glad you got over the shock. Heading back in later and dreading in..

Hugo Stiglitz

I can relate. More so the people aspect. Unnecessary ****.

ivytwine

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Work is awful my side lately too. You have my sympathies for all the good that is!. Glad you got over the shock. Heading back in later and dreading in..

Aw no that's one of the worst feelings. I hope it changes for us both soon.

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I can relate. More so the people aspect. Unnecessary ****.

I actually like my colleagues most of the time but the company is turning from somewhere pretty good to work, if a bit tight with pay, to somewhere horrible to work. So many people are leaving and I think I might be joining them.

failinis

Just feeling very anxious and thinking there is a good chance I may go missing at some stage in the future.

ivytwine

failinis wrote: »

Just feeling very anxious and thinking there is a good chance I may go missing at some stage in the future.

Oh failinis I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like that. Hang on, you have listening ears here.

Hugo Stiglitz

ivytwine wrote: »

I actually like my colleagues most of the time but the company is turning from somewhere pretty good to work, if a bit tight with pay, to somewhere horrible to work. So many people are leaving and I think I might be joining them.

Thankfully there are a few there that I deeply care about. Unfortunately there are some there that are the sourest people I've ever had the displeasure of interacting at.

I'm sorry to hear that your place is after changing there.

failinis

ivytwine wrote: »

Oh failinis I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like that. Hang on, you have listening ears here.

It will work out fine.

pew

Today has taken its toll on me mentally and emotionally.

I really want to stay in bed and cry a little.

Hugo Stiglitz

pew wrote: »

Today has taken its toll on me mentally and emotionally.

I really want to stay in bed and cry a little.

*hugs*

So sorry to hear that, Pew.

There's no shame in having a lie down and cry. We've all done it.

We're all here for you if you need to chat.

mansize

pew wrote: »

Today has taken its toll on me mentally and emotionally.

I really want to stay in bed and cry a little.

Not the worst thing in the world.

We all need a good sleep and cry sometimes.

pew

Well i had a cry last night, and i havent stopped.

Really feel like im on the verge of having a meltdown soon.

I can pin point it to 3 things and all are causing me such anxiety and stress.

failinis

`sort of been having mild panic attacks, well not mild but ye know. Still trouble breathing and chest pain so I suppose thats it.
Got very paranoid last night and panicked and tearful and called my mother in tears as I feel far from home.

I looked this morning and found a counsellor that does lower rates for students (yes lads) but after enquiring I feel too scared and have not booked an appointment.

Was forced out of the house today by a nearby fire (the other place was fine and it was under control quickly) but I met an aqquatinace for tea and met a nice dog and slept most of the afternoon on her sofa (I barely slept last night due to paranoia and such). I feel a little better plus speaking to someone else about stuff.

But I still feel bad in the sense I have been building myself up to see a counsellor for so long but now I tried I chickened and think I need longer to even see someone.

bridgettedon

At a big social occasion and sitting here on my own feeling very blue. I think seeing others having a good time is making me feel worse. I can't even say I'm depressed. It's just I hate these kind of things. I had to get out of there. I feel guilty now but I have to make sure I don't take it out on other people. Feel like I'm going to snap.

Gremlinertia

bridgettedon wrote: »

At a big social occasion and sitting here on my own feeling very blue. I think seeing others having a good time is making me feel worse. I can't even say I'm depressed. It's just I hate these kind of things. I had to get out of there. I feel guilty now but I have to make sure I don't take it out on other people. Feel like I'm going to snap.

How are you doing today? Guilt comes with the territory but it won't be looming so large in a day or two.

failinis

Might bite the bullet and email/phone a local counsellor to arrange a few appointments tomorrow.

Gremlinertia

failinis wrote: »

Might bite the bullet and email/phone a local counsellor to arrange a few appointments tomorrow.

Hope you can, with all that's going on a fresh ear could be very helpful.

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hope you can, with all that's going on a fresh ear could be very helpful.

Waiting to see my timetable tomorrow to judge what times would be best.
A friend of mine is concerned and said I have a lot more going on than most people and that its great I am coping right now - but I need to make sure I continue to cope.

Hugo Stiglitz

failinis wrote: »

Might bite the bullet and email/phone a local counsellor to arrange a few appointments tomorrow.

I can't hurt to have a talk.

Gremlinertia

failinis wrote: »

Waiting to see my timetable tomorrow to judge what times would be best.
A friend of mine is concerned and said I have a lot more going on than most people and that its great I am coping right now - but I need to make sure I continue to cope.

You have a good and wise friend there.

BorneTobyWilde

I'm jealous of everyone in here .

windy shepard henderson

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

I'm jealous of everyone in here .

why would you be jealous?

BorneTobyWilde

Because my life is so much more complicated and depressing .

Gremlinertia

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Because my life is so much more complicated and depressing .

What people share on the net, even anonymously, will often be short on detail, worry about being recognised is usually the reason.. That said there are days i look at others in my life or perhaps on boards and think that i would like to swap for a day.
I'm here for the night if you want to chat/rant etc.

Tell me how

BorneTobyWilde wrote:

Because my life is so much more complicated and depressing .

That's subjective. Not everyone here lays everything out for all others to see/compare. That's not what the thread is about.

failinis

Just getting my timetable and lectures on how the semesters will run/marking and all that kinda freaked me a bit.
As expected anyway, will take time to settle.

The counsellor place I emailed replied saying she needs to ring me and "interview" me to see if I am worth seeing.
I know what she means but she could have phrased that a million times better...

A friend of mine is upset, she seems to want space right now which is grand - but I wanna go give her a hug.

Been feeling I am hiding a lot in plain sight from my own head. Like I know the slightest thing will set me off in a cycle of anxiety and crying. So I feel like I am pretending.

I have been thinking about telling my neurologist to post-pone telling me my results for a few years till I graduate.
I think that is best.

failinis

Friend speaking to me and now I am more dishearten as we are very much both depressed and we ended up talking about how selfish your mind makes you when you are in these moods and dips.
I want to help her, but I gotta help myself, but for some morbid reason I don't even want to help myself so what luck does she have.

Had worsening health, may go to a&e tomorrow.

failinis

I keep feeling that I am going to die.

Tell me how

You're in a bad spot right now failinis. Hopefully you'll get some relief tomorrow.

failinis

It was having some medical issues (blood stopped flowing into left arm) linked to known issues which was very painful but its all back to normal.

I was anxious so I know last night I just got freaked at anything so felt 100% worse and panicked.

Barely slept so I gues I can spend today as a calm sleepy zombie.

mansize

failinis wrote: »

It was having some medical issues (blood stopped flowing into left arm) linked to known issues which was very painful but its all back to normal.

I was anxious so I know last night I just got freaked at anything so felt 100% worse and panicked.

Barely slept so I gues I can spend today as a calm sleepy zombie.

Well as long as it's calm it's all gravy

Notsomindful

Hey all, hope your day is ok.

In an exciting yet scary situation, found out yesterday I am pregnant with baby #3. A big surprise. I have mentioned before that my oldest son has recently been diagnosed with autism so I know my life is going to get more mental.

We are happy- not ideal timing but explains why I am.even more moody.
Am.going to gp today to get it confirmed and conveniently have psych appointment tomorrow so will.need to ask about existing meds.
Have one physical issue in past that will impact on pregnancy but can be monitored.

So nervous yet excited.

Worried about families reaction to news as this firas pregnancy since Borderline diagnosis.

failinis

mansize wrote: »

Well as long as it's calm it's all gravy

My sleepy zombie prediction was correct, almost asleep during life drawing and tutor slammed a book behind me - going to sleep now.

Notsomindful wrote: »

In an exciting yet scary situation, found out yesterday I am pregnant with baby #3. A big surprise.

Congratulations Notsomindful - most pregnancies are a little bit of a surprise but glad that you are happy (but a bit nervous as most people would be).


Seen the creepy guy from the shop today, passed on opposite sides of road, you could see he was looking but trying to not make it obvious (and failing :rolleyes: )

The counsellor fella rang just now, or rather someone to take notes to pass on to counsellor. Done a questionnaire thingy on like must have been how you have been feeling the past week on "rarely - sometimes - often- almost always"
Made me feel worse reflecting on just how bad I have been this week to be honest.

trixychic

Sorry for leaving you all for so long and then butting back in.

OH got a job. He works 7am-6pm Mon-Sat. And we only have one car. So the house is up at 6am and I'm driving at least 3 and a half hours a day now.

Boys are in school at 9. I have to collect at 12 and 3 from schools. Then collect OH from work at 6. Within this time I have to do homework, cook boys dinner, pay bills, do shopping and prep mine and OH's dinner.

On top of all that our eldest is being assessed for ASD (aspergers and autism) and he has Sensory Disorder too. We are fighting for him to get resources in school and where ever else he needs them. All this while dealing with him having meltdowns and my mischievous 4 yr old.

And then we have to start saving for a mortgage on the house we are in because this place is home and its the first place I feel safe since my grandparents house and its the only place my boys know of as home.

And I have firms out my ears. Life insurance, HSE forms, school firms.

To top it all off I ran over a little bird today. IT flew off in one direction and then changed back. I'm devestated.

So today is a hard one. I know I will keep on going. I have no choice but to keep going. But tonight while my boys sleep the anxieties are taking over and I'm sitting on my couch crying. No family support (bar my wonderful caring OH) very few friend support.

And breathe. OH just walked through the door with Chinese. I really love him.

mansize

trixychic wrote: »

Sorry for leaving you all for so long and then butting back in.

OH got a job. He works 7am-6pm Mon-Sat. And we only have one car. So the house is up at 6am and I'm driving at least 3 and a half hours a day now.

Boys are in school at 9. I have to collect at 12 and 3 from schools. Then collect OH from work at 6. Within this time I have to do homework, cook boys dinner, pay bills, do shopping and prep mine and OH's dinner.

On top of all that our eldest is being assessed for ASD (aspergers and autism) and he has Sensory Disorder too. We are fighting for him to get resources in school and where ever else he needs them. All this while dealing with him having meltdowns and my mischievous 4 yr old.

And then we have to start saving for a mortgage on the house we are in because this place is home and its the first place I feel safe since my grandparents house and its the only place my boys know of as home.

And I have firms out my ears. Life insurance, HSE forms, school firms.

To top it all off I ran over a little bird today. IT flew off in one direction and then changed back. I'm devestated.

So today is a hard one. I know I will keep on going. I have no choice but to keep going. But tonight while my boys sleep the anxieties are taking over and I'm sitting on my couch crying. No family support (bar my wonderful caring OH) very few friend support.

And breathe. OH just walked through the door with Chinese. I really love him.

That's a nice touch by your OH.

trixychic

mansize wrote: »

That's a nice touch by your OH.

I know. We've had our ups and downs but he does know how to make me feel better.

ja1986

Is anyone here on citrol?

Tell me how

ja1986 wrote:

Is anyone here on citrol?

Not me ja1986. You just starting it or considering it?

Notsomindful

Hey all,

Feeling apprehensive. Am.off my anti depressant and coming off anxiety meds in next two weeks. Need to get to wk 36/37 and can start back on meds etc.

It will be weird not having a crutch to lean on and add in hormones I will be all over the place.

My family are in for a fun journey.

Gremlinertia

Take your time Notso. People and family can be more understanding than we think sometimes. I'm about to head to meet my parents and I'm scared but I'll be ok i think.

trixychic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Take your time Notso. People and family can be more understanding than we think sometimes. I'm about to head to meet my parents and I'm scared but I'll be ok i think.

Thinking of you Grem. I know only to well how hard those visits are.

Gremlinertia

I stay away too long and make it a big issue which, when i think about it, is pretty close to how i do things mostly.. Feck..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I stay away too long and make it a big issue which, when i think about it, is pretty close to how i do things mostly.. Feck..

We all do that I'd reckon.

trixychic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I stay away too long and make it a big issue which, when i think about it, is pretty close to how i do things mostly.. Feck..

Meet your twin. I absolutely hate meeting up with my side. I always end up worked up and nearly having anxiety attacks when it's my mum. And just pure stressed with my dad and siblings. It's easier to leave it.

failinis

Had a meeting about my dyslexia/dyspraxia and the woman was so useless saying "do you need any support, sure you are studying art are you not?" - eh yes with essays and dissertations peppered through it for feck sake.

Also told her no one in the Uni is happy about the Uni only offering students 4 counselling sessions a year.

I am waiting for phone call/email for the private counselling atm.

Also my "personal tutor" is a new tutor who rubbed everyone up the wrong way within 5mins of meeting.

Been sick all week in general pain and just pissed off at everything.

Felt like I could do nothing right today.

failinis

Another rubbish day - stressed as I could not understand people in the studio due to noise (but I worked on the products).
Then a tutor got pissed because I did not join in on presenting the final polished up adverts
(I would be unable to hear the questions and be standing there like a spare dick?)

I try and ignore the whole medical results things - but I am also waiting for bloods on Rheumatoid Arthritis which is likely based on severe Raynuard Syndrome etc

I feel like I am kidding myself on how I feel, and if I pause, even in a queue for the bus and think then I can't escape that cloud of uncertainty. I am just pretending I am grand cause thats the only way I could keep functioning.

StripedBoxers

I'm feeling absolutely awful this weekend, today in particular.

A friend keeps trying to interfere where she shouldn't and sticking her nose into something in particular that is quite hurtful for me and it's getting me so down.

She has really gotten under my skin and she shouldn't have but she has and I am finding it difficult to hold back the tears today.

Honestly why can some people just not take "mind your own business" and do just that, mind their own bloody business.

1moo345

So after my last post I visited another doctor who supplied the correct medication and really listened and gave me some good advice. I times I feel I am getting worse on the medication but have been told this is normal at the beginning. I have been off work for around three weeks. I was due to return this morning but instead lied in bed and endured an hour long panic attack which resulted in me not going. I am not receiving illnesw benefit so really can't afford to keep doing this but also physically unable to leave the house especially to work it sends me into panic attack mode. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder and it is taking over my life. I don't know what to do.