Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Tell me how

BaaLamb wrote:

Thanks and sorry for the long winded rant. I'm just tired and really scared.

Hi and welcome BaaLamb.
It really is a tough time for you.
It sounds like you're trying to do everything you can so keep going.
You knock on enough doors eventually one will open.
Try not to take on too much. It's easier said than done but try not to worry about things you can't directly control.
Looking after yourself is number 1 priority.
I know it doesn't feel like it but the wheel is always turning.

Shint0

Apologies, as that request for particpants post seems to have been removed my last post will make no sense.

Gremlinertia

Shint0 wrote: »

Apologies, as that request for particpants post seems to have been removed my last post will make no sense.

Surveys/questionnaires are not allowed as per charter, hence some post deletion

trixychic

BaaLamb wrote: »

Thanks and sorry for the long winded rant. I'm just tired and really scared.

That really wasn'tvery long winded at all don't worry. You should see some of mine.

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I have no major advice. But I am sending plenty of cuddles your way. Your not alone with the anxieties. And at least yours are valid in the real world.

I still freak out about catastrophes that are completely non relevent to.life right now.

So yea. Welcome to the mad bunch.

ivytwine

ivytwine wrote: »

Hi guys I'm just looking to have a little vent. Get anxious at the best of times but the last few months I've self sabotaged and procrastinated and feel really rotten about myself.

It was improving and I've started seeing someone but he's got issues too. He's pushing me away and it hurts. I can't turn to him because he has enough on his plate but I don't know if I'm strong enough to be the support he needs. I feel really emotional at the moment and anxious, he feels really disconnected.

I wrecked my dinner this evening and I started crying. Feel really crap.

So we broke up because he says he can't date at the moment. I think he is feeling so crap he can't imagine anyone falling for him. He is getting help tho. I don't want to cut him out of my life (we were friendly before) but I'm afraid of getting hurt. So I'm not sure if I'll check in with him from time to time, or if he'll want to hear from me. Sigh. Bit of a rubbish situation.

I signed up for a group Aware course in September. Has anyone found these any use?

I've definitely been worse than this and it seems to be lessening as i get older, but I don't like how I've been feeling lately. Seem to be slipping back.

Gremlinertia

Hey Ivy, take this time to get through the rough patch you've hit. Maybe you two will have something in the future, what's for you won't pass you and all that Well done on recognising where you are emotionally with yourself, self awareness takes such a long time.. As for the Aware thing i haven't personally had any experience with them but i recall others here being generally positive.. Be nice to yourself in the meantime, take care..

ivytwine

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hey Ivy, take this time to get through the rough patch you've hit. Maybe you two will have something in the future, what's for you won't pass you and all that Well done on recognising where you are emotionally with yourself, self awareness takes such a long time.. As for the Aware thing i haven't personally had any experience with them but i recall others here being generally positive.. Be nice to yourself in the meantime, take care..

Thank you for such a lovely post. I'm taking a week off work and I'm going to only use my work phone for Pokemon Go it's been another big stress in my life lately so I probably need a week out of Dublin.

I've done lots of work on myself and I'm well aware there are posters far worse off than me. I'm not as badly off as my friend is for example. But I think the Aware course might just be enough to get back on track.

Yeah he was right to break it off, but there is no reason for us to close off communication and be there for each other as friends.

Gremlinertia

How are you today? Been a stressful week here, hoping i don't get a crash later on

BaaLamb

To be honest I feel like crap. I feel hopeless and filled with anxiety and despair. This year has been the hardest I can remember and my god some of the years during the recession were tough. I don't know if I am able to keep going.

failinis

Just stressed about blood tests and "life" - hopefully I can have one day of being relaxed soon.

Gremlinertia

BaaLamb wrote: »

To be honest I feel like crap. I feel hopeless and filled with anxiety and despair. This year has been the hardest I can remember and my god some of the years during the recession were tough. I don't know if I am able to keep going.

failinis wrote: »

Just stressed about blood tests and "life" - hopefully I can have one day of being relaxed soon.

If i doc could actually prescribe one 24 hour period a month of relaxation it would help so damn much..

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

If i doc could actually prescribe one 24 hour period a month of relaxation it would help so damn much..

It is bad when you are looking forward to sleep because you are unconscious but not doing any harm.



Then insomnia kicks in

Gremlinertia

Lucid dreams and nightmares keep me on my toes.. :rolleyes:

BaaLamb

My bed is my favourite place, sleeping allows a short escape from the agony that is reality.

Gremlinertia

Bed or couch for me, they are both like a little island for me when i need, though perversely i'm very slow to go to them sometimes.

BaaLamb

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Bed or couch for me, they are both like a little island for me when i need, though perversely i'm very slow to go to them sometimes.

Couch usually has a child firmly ensconced on it. More privacy for tears in the bed.

Gremlinertia

BaaLamb wrote: »

Couch usually has a child firmly ensconced on it. More privacy for tears in the bed.

Ahh, no kids here, no tears either Just try to drift.

failinis

I've been getting wound up something bad all week, and being home from Uni is hard as it is far easier to give false pretences of being fine if you are in another country. Do not want to concern my mum about anything as she has enough going on right now.
I need to try and distract myself and maybe not be home too much.

pew

I feel abandoned and rejected tonight.

But the funny thing is, i really want to be alone. I want to shy away from society for the time being. I dont feel like socializing.

I have given up on depending on people. I am a crutch for everyone, but no one is there for me, and when they are there, they make my problems about themselves. Or they talk about the one topic im am steering clear of.


I think i need alone time for a bit.

Gremlinertia

failinis wrote: »

I've been getting wound up something bad all week, and being home from Uni is hard as it is far easier to give false pretences of being fine if you are in another country. Do not want to concern my mum about anything as she has enough going on right now.
I need to try and distract myself and maybe not be home too much.

You may believe your mam has enough on, but mammies are incredible, how much does she currently know?. I ask because as strong as they can be a dump truck of stuff will flatten anyone.. Perhaps a walk or cuppa tomorrow afternoon or something, you know better than i when to approach

Gremlinertia

pew wrote: »

I feel abandoned and rejected tonight.

But the funny thing is, i really want to be alone. I want to shy away from society for the time being. I dont feel like socializing.

I have given up on depending on people. I am a crutch for everyone, but no one is there for me, and when they are there, they make my problems about themselves. Or they talk about the one topic im am steering clear of.


I think i need alone time for a bit.

Socialising or being in a crowd intensifies loneliness for me.. I'd be much better one to one with a trusted mate, even if that has to be via messenger or whatever.. I hope there's someone you can get for a chat today or tomorrow..

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You may believe your mam has enough on, but mammies are incredible, how much does she currently know?. I ask because as strong as they can be a dump truck of stuff will flatten anyone.. Perhaps a walk or cuppa tomorrow afternoon or something, you know better than i when to approach

I have heard her on the phone to an aunt concerned I am "going to have a break down" :rolleyes: so unless I lie and try and tell her I am fine I will make things worse.

Gremlinertia

failinis wrote: »

I have heard her on the phone to an aunt concerned I am "going to have a break down" :rolleyes: so unless I lie and try and tell her I am fine I will make things worse.

Then you probably really should talk since it's clear she can see you are suffering, perhaps she would like to talk but doesn't know how to open it up.. The amount of times i could have talked to people only we were both unable to due to fear mainly..

pew

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Socialising or being in a crowd intensifies loneliness for me.. I'd be much better one to one with a trusted mate, even if that has to be via messenger or whatever.. I hope there's someone you can get for a chat today or tomorrow..

I have counselling on tuesday.

Ill talk it out then.

For the moment i think ill go on a silent retreat.

Gremlinertia

Silence can be nice, just try not to let your brain get too busy, take care..

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Then you probably really should talk since it's clear she can see you are suffering, perhaps she would like to talk but doesn't know how to open it up.. The amount of times i could have talked to people only we were both unable to due to fear mainly..

I did have an attempt at a talk with her a few days ago, but ended up with her saying no matter what I do I will have this pain and hurt with me for the rest of my life........right o - k :pac: thanks for that mum.

Its not right for me to expect any support or demand it from people, especially when they don't know what I would like from them.

pew wrote: »

I have counselling on tuesday.

Ill talk it out then.

For the moment i think ill go on a silent retreat.

If being away from it all helps, a quiet weekend might be good.

Gremlinertia

Well, something may be long term, how you manage it is what can change, that was a core element to the DBT course i did for my borderline personality issue.

failinis

^ I know one issue I would like to face but also want to block and avoid at all costs. Until I pick up the balls to do anything thats on hold.

Another is medical so waiting for results to even see if there is an issue ha.

I don't want to drag her into more suffering but I don't want to help myself.
Just gotta make my bed and lie in it as change will only happen if I support it.

Gremlinertia

Oh indeed, horse to water and all that..

SAINTBRIGID

A 1/2 bottle of jack daniels. 2 donuts , bar of milk tray and two packs of peanuts and watching waking the dead on drama. Suitably chilled.

Met shrink last week, diagnosed reactive depression. Was told im very intelligent, and very defensive. Ill face up to any one regardless of consequences. Got into road rage with a guy tailgating me who then overtook me and slammed on the breaks. We had a fight on the N3 at 5.30 in the evening. Big Polish guy. Beat the living crap out of me. At 50 he was about 30.

Unfortunately Im now ruminating. Go to bed for weird dreams or stay up and keep eating.

I was told to take as much xanax as I need because I dont have an addictive personality.
Told Id be on Cymbalta for another 2 years. I see it as two years of anorgasmia.

Going to the UK, for an Irish funeral. 2 days of singing and drinking. God I wish I was on a package holiday in Syria.