Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

StripedBoxers

*hugs* Grem, I hope you're okay. I hope things improve for you and you feel better soon.

Pablodreamsofnew

Hope you feel better Grem. Sending happy vibes your way.

Such a busy day today but I do like to be busy. Feeling really happy and relaxed so i know I made the right choice. X

BaaLamb

Feel so unbelievably hopeless and lost. I have to go to social welfare today as I have been made redundant and I'm really struggling to get out of bed and face it. I'm terrified of having to deal with them as I've never been made redundant before. Then poor OH is also struggling to find work before his contract ends this month. I feel doomed.

murria

BaaLamb wrote: »

Feel so unbelievably hopeless and lost. I have to go to social welfare today as I have been made redundant and I'm really struggling to get out of bed and face it. I'm terrified of having to deal with them as I've never been made redundant before. Then poor OH is also struggling to find work before his contract ends this month. I feel doomed.

Baa Lamb, I was once in your situation and I remember the anxiety in anticipation of my first visit to SW. The reality was very different from what I imagined and the staff were very helpful and treated me with dignity, the woman who handled my ongoing case was really supportive and was genuinely happy for mewhen I eventually got sorted. You've done nothing wrong, you've paid into the system and you will be entitled to benefits to tide you over until you find something else. You're not doomed, we all hit a rocky patch now and again. Take your time and try not to think too far ahead, you can get through this. Hope all goes well today.

BaaLamb

The lady in Intreo was very nice and has made me an appointment for next week. I have a big form to fill in and a lot of paperwork to get together which in my current frame of mind is a bit daunting.

I've been trying for jobs outside the sector I've always worked in because there are such limited opportunities available in my sector. It hasn't been successful thus far, big fat rejections I've also registered for some factory work but so far feedback has been that I'm overqualified *sighs* Can't win really can I.
I don't know guys I seem to be unable to shake this low mood this year and the anxiety is also pretty relentless. Add redundancy for me and a soon to jobless husband and I just want to give up and stay in bed forever.

murria

Well done on getting through today's ordeal Baa Lamb. Now do something nice for yourself, maybe just feet up and a coffee, watch Countdown like me , or a bit of quality time with your family.

BaaLamb

Thanks Murria. It is really helpful to post the jumble of thoughts in my mind otherwise they just increase the painful knot of anxiety in my stomach. Another day nearly done at least and I survived it and the challenges it presented.

failinis

Even thinking about this waiting is sickening me.

Hopefully its not one certain illness.

But regardless I have an illness and I will never be healthy.

Waiting around for these 2 results is doing my head in and I have had some very **** years, especially 2013, 14 and 15.

Looks like 2016 is a dogs ****ing dinner too.

pew

Really struggling this week, if I'm honest.

I can't hold it together

BaaLamb

No wonder you're finding the waiting hard, it is a very difficult thing to do when you are anxious about an outcome. I'm with you on 2016 being a dogs dinner People keep telling me it will get better, when I say?

BaaLamb

Hi Pew, I'm sorry you are struggling and I can empathise with you. I'm in much the same place as you. Do you want to say anymore about what is happening with you?

failinis

I'm with Baalamb, sometimes ranting, for want of a better word, on safe threads can help, or can at least let you leave the frustration somewhere else other than your head.

pew

BaaLamb wrote: »

Hi Pew, I'm sorry you are struggling and I can empathise with you. I'm in much the same place as you. Do you want to say anymore about what is happening with you?

My job is really getting me down right now. They are so demotivating, my confidence has gone entirely. I have 3 weeks to find a new job and im struggling to find something.

BaaLamb

pew wrote: »

My job is really getting me down right now. They are so demotivating, my confidence has gone entirely. I have 3 weeks to find a new job and im struggling to find something.

Oh Pew I am so sorry to hear that. I've just been made redundant and I am also struggling to find work. It is very demoralising indeed.

Do you work in a sector that is specialist or do you have a broader range to target? Would you think about a career coach type person? My company paid for a couple of sessions with one as part of the redundancy process. I found it very helpful for getting a professional looking CV together.

Do you have any support in real life with how you are feeling?

Gremlinertia

Struggling, went for two nights away from town and first day was amazing, today not so good just yet. Maybe I'm just being negative but fcuk knows. It'll be early to bed anyway..

failinis

Could not stop crying yesterday morning at all, which I am going to blame on my ovarian cyst playing with my emotions.
My mother seen me and I feel awful making her feel so worried.
She asked me to tell my GP how I am feeling (she thinks I am depressed) but there is no point, I am only here for 3 more weeks.

BaaLamb

failinis wrote: »

Could not stop crying yesterday morning at all, which I am going to blame on my ovarian cyst playing with my emotions.
My mother seen me and I feel awful making her feel so worried.
She asked me to tell my GP how I am feeling (she thinks I am depressed) but there is no point, I am only here for 3 more weeks.

Ah failinis I'm sorry to read you were crying so much and your mother will always worry about you simply because she is your mother and that is our job as mothers. Mammy guilt and worry come with the baby! I don't know if there is anything I can say to help you but at least know I'm sending you positive thoughts for a good test result.

failinis

BaaLamb wrote: »

Ah failinis I'm sorry to read you were crying so much and your mother will always worry about you simply because she is your mother and that is our job as mothers. Mammy guilt and worry come with the baby! I don't know if there is anything I can say to help you but at least know I'm sending you positive thoughts for a good test result.

It is out of the ordinary for me to cry very much at all, and I do know that it was brought to the fore front by my cyst and my wonderful period being due soon.
But it just brought how I am feeling all the time to the surface and I am annoyed as I can normally hide it to try protect my mum.
Of god yeah, no one can stop a mothers worry :pac:

I want/need the ataxia test to be negative, everyone wants it to be negative.
The CT tests, if its positive for one then thats "fine" and I know ASAP but if its negative then its an entirely new syndrome and might be years till I know the full extent of how it will effect me and a sibling. Oh well.

Gremlinertia

Failinis i hope you don't feel too bad about the tears. As you know yourself your mum will worry anyway.. Roll on test results so you have something concrete to work with..

Kitty6277

drugstore cowboy wrote: »

Anyone find the warm, humid days and nights makes their anxiety/mood worse? I actually improve mentally in the winter!

I hear a lot of people say that, which, to me, makes no sense at all :eek: I tend to get far worse in the winter, the dark evenings, the horrible weather and all that always get me down.

Kitty6277

Been feeling crappy on and off the last few weeks. I had so many plans for this summer, none of which have happened, although not really through any fault of my own. It was looking so promising at the start of the summer, I got a job at a local bar and was going to be working regularly and earning regular money. Or so I thought. I was going to be driving and maybe have my own car. Or so I thought. I was going to go shopping, and have adventures with my friends. Or so I thought. When in reality, I've worked 3 nights since April, and haven't worked in over a month. Haven't been able to learn to drive properly as what money I had from some inheritance I loaned to my mam, and even if I had paid for lessons, I wouldn't be able to get insurance on the car we have. I don't even know why I thought it would all work out. This is me, nothing could ever, ever work out the way I want it to. And then it really gets me down when I see other people my age doing all the things I had planned, and it hits me. Coming from a not well off background, you just don't deserve all the things everyone your age who come from money have. Which of course logical me knows isn't really true, but yet, that's exactly what it feels like. And with regards to work, I'm not good enough. Why would I be? Even when I asked my boss last week if he needed me, he was just so flippant saying "oh, we'll see how things go", which my brain interprets as "you're not good enough, not even good enough for a job in a bar in a small town, how will you ever succeed in life" which again, I know isn't true, and yet, it feels so like it. Ugh, I hate that things like this get to me and leave me feeling so bad about everything.

Gremlinertia

Seems like it snowballed from the crappy treatment by the 'boss' at the bar. Could you apply to other bars and/or other jobs?. Could be a good time of year as the students will be giving up their summer jobs around now.
Hugs to you, i really understand that escalation and self blame thing. On particularly bad days i could come up with a plausible reason for how i caused the recession even though, like you, i know logically it's not true it doesn't stop the emotional pain of it..

Kitty6277

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Seems like it snowballed from the crappy treatment by the 'boss' at the bar. Could you apply to other bars and/or other jobs?. Could be a good time of year as the students will be giving up their summer jobs around now.
Hugs to you, i really understand that escalation and self blame thing. On particularly bad days i could come up with a plausible reason for how i caused the recession even though, like you, i know logically it's not true it doesn't stop the emotional pain of it..

I suppose that's what you get when you get a job through someone knowing someone as opposed to your actual skills and qualifications (which I have none of, yet). I suppose I could, but not much point right now as I'll be heading off to college soon enough (hopefully) and I don't know where I'll be yet. I mean if they weren't doing good business I'd understand that they're quiet and he doesn't need any more staff. But that's not the case. They're one of the busiest places in town at the moment, and all the other staff he took on are getting regular work, except me. Which has to be something to do with me. I just don't understand it.

Gremlinertia

Perhaps it's because of the 'someone knowing someone' thing? He might have felt he had to say yes even though he had the hiring done.. Anyway as you said you're moving on shortly so try not to let it drag you down..

Kitty6277

I mean I say it like that, but there was more to it. When I first asked about working, I wasn't even asking for a job, I was asking to be trained in so I could have some experience to put on my CV, and he said that I was like an answered prayer because he was looking for people because he was opening a new beer garden. It wasn't like "this is my daughter, you know me, give her a job", I asked him as my mam and him have been friends for years, and that he wouldn't mind just showing me the ropes so I could actually apply for bar jobs, and he said he happened to be looking for someone. But you're right, probably best to not let it get to me now.

Gremlinertia

New adventure on the horizon, that incident had derailed you somewhat but onward always..

Shint0

Was awake and just saw your post now, Kitty. Have to agree with Grem on all this. The way I'm reading your job situation is the intentions were probably good on the part of the owner to try train you in and give you work but they're so busy he simply might not have the time.

So it probably is nothing to do with you at all or lack of skill. It's just the way it turned out and perhaps in a slightly less busy environment the owner or staff might have time to show you the ropes. I would be inclined to look at it more objectively from that perspective and try not to take all the blame on you but it is hard I know when you are making plans around it.

Starting out in working life can be difficult at times but all these experiences add up and we learn something from each one of them and can apply it to the next job or similar situation we find ourselves in. Hope you get the college course you want.

ivytwine

Sorry to hear that kitty. I presume you will be leaving home for college? Maybe try and get some bar work there... It's not the most honest thing to do but I'd exaggerate this place on your CV. Did you get any training at all?

I can identify so much with the poor background thing. Life is so much harder when you have to worry about money all the time, and you have no fallback.

frulewis

I am going through the worst spot of anxiety depression etc. that I've ever been through and I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I'm seeing the doctors changing medication all the pizzazz but I just feel so sad all the time and anxious all the time over the stupidest stuff that ever was. I don't know why I'm posting really I'm just at the end of my tether and even though I have friends and family who know the score it is hard to explain how I feel to them when I don't really fully understand it myself.

ivytwine

frulewis wrote: »

I am going through the worst spot of anxiety depression etc. that I've ever been through and I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I'm seeing the doctors changing medication all the pizzazz but I just feel so sad all the time and anxious all the time over the stupidest stuff that ever was. I don't know why I'm posting really I'm just at the end of my tether and even though I have friends and family who know the score it is hard to explain how I feel to them when I don't really fully understand it myself.

Big hug X