Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Shint0

CandiPixie, it's good that you have decided to post here. It sounds like you have become a bit stuck and might need help in moving forward.

Have you spoken to a doctor or are you linked in with a mental health service? There are various medical treatments and therapies designed to help with those type of anxious and obsessive worrying thoughts.

I'm wondering if you might benefit from having a Community Mental Health Nurse from your local mental health service come visit you at your home to help get you going again and then you might be linked in with an occupational therapist at the same health centre.

Tell me how

I would echo what Shint0 said. Start by communicating with a Dr. Has this gotten worse recently or is it always this way?

Welcome to the thread.

py2006

I don't normally read or share these Americanised/Self help kind of articles but I found this one (outlined below)gives good and simple advice for anyone suffering with depression. Making the small and simple changes in your routine and thoughts can make a huge difference.

The below is well worth a read and EVEN MORE worth trying out in your own life:




Don't catastrophize
One way to sabotage yourself is to take a single event and treat it as an ongoing source of negativity. "People who are unemployed do this a lot," says Rego. "They've lost their job because of the economy and they personalize it."

It's also unhealthy to catastrophize—focus on the worst imagined outcome, even if it's irrational. For example, don't let concerns about money escalate into the conviction you'll soon be homeless.

Instead of thinking, "I'll never get another job," try to say to yourself: "I will get another job. It just may take some time."



Stop ruminating
Ever clash with a colleague or fight with a friend and then keep obsessively thinking about it, amplifying the anger, stress, and anxiety associated with the memory? Known as rumination, this type of thinking is linked to a greater risk of becoming or staying depressed.

While reflection is a good thing, and may help you solve problems, rumination does the opposite.

If you catch yourself ruminating, studies suggest it may help if you try to distract yourself, meditate, or redirect your thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy often targets rumination because it can be so damaging to mental health.


Retire your crystal ball
Very few (if any) of us are blessed with the ability to predict the future. But depressed people will often convince themselves they know what will happen a day, a month, or a year down the line. And it's usually bad, if not downright catastrophic.

Fortunately, our dire predictions rarely come true.

Try to stay in the present. It's much more manageable and you're less likely to blow things out of proportion.


Don't dwell on the past
It's pretty pointless to tell yourself you should have done this or shouldn't have done that. You can't change the past, but you can live in the present.

Just accept that you made the best decisions you could have made with the information or resources you had at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20, so best to try to just let it go and don't beat yourself up for perceived missteps.

And do a rumination check; ruminating about the past can generate anxiety, just as worry about the future.



Reach out to others
A hallmark of depression is isolation. It can happen easily if you're not working, or you're avoiding people because you're depressed. But reinvigorating or expanding a social network provides an opportunity to get support, perhaps even from people in the same or a similar situation, says Rego.

"Once you start reconnecting with people, you get a sense they understand," he says. "You get positive advice and encouragement and it's often done in activities that end up being fun."

Staying home alone will perpetuate the depression. Getting out with other people—even a little bit—will lift your spirits.


Stick to a structured routine
Even if you don't feel like it, make sure you get up at a set time, eat meals at the same hour every day (even if you're not hungry), and avoid lounging on the couch during the day lest it prevent you from sleeping well at night.

"People who are depressed tend to eat or sleep inconsistently," says Rego. "Even if you're unemployed or feeling down, it's really important to set and establish a daily routine as best you can. This gives you a sense of regularity that can help with a depressed mood."

If you can incorporate socializing into your routine, all the better.


Avoid black and white thinking
Black and white is great for zebras, but not thoughts. Depressed people tend to think in extremes: I'm a loser. No one loves me. I'll never get a job.

But your thought patterns could put you in a rut or keep you there. "Being depressed or sad is going to color the way you think about yourself in a negative direction," says Rego.

These thoughts can paralyze you and stop you from doing the very things that will get you out of a lousy situation. Try to think in shades of gray, says David R. Blackburn, PhD,a psychologist with Scott & White Hospital in Temple, Texas. Instead of "no one loves me," try "lots of people (if not everybody) love me."


Reality check your thoughts
If you're depressed, negative thoughts go with the territory. However, they are rarely grounded in reality.

Once you've identified a negative thought, ask yourself, "Where is the evidence that I'm the most despicable human being on the entire earth?" There probably isn't any.

"You can't just be rattling these thoughts back and forth and saying they're true," says Blackburn. "You have to come up with some solid evidence."

And if you're worried about what people are thinking about you, go ahead and ask them.


Choose smart goals
Select a few simple, straightforward goals you can easily set and follow, suggests Rego. Those goals should be SMART, which stands for "specific, measurable, attainable, rewarding, and time-limited."

So for example, deciding you will have a job by the end of the week is unrealistic.

But deciding to post two resumes online by the end of the week, on the other hand, is SMART. "It's specific. It's attainable. It's not that much effort to do and it could be rewarding," says Rego.



Fake it a bit
Write down all the things you used to like doing that you've stopped doing because you're sad and depressed, suggests Rego, who is also assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Albert Einstein College of Medicine.

That could be going to the movies, socializing with friends, or simply going to the corner coffee shop with a newspaper.

Then, one by one, start reincorporating these activities into your life even if you're feeling unenthusiastic about it. Also, focus on tasks that can give you a sense of mastery or accomplishment, whether it's tidying up the apartment or paying the bills. That can help ease the depression as well.


Don't deny depression
If your present situation, well, sucks, denying it will only make things worse. "Some people don't accept they're depressed and instead beat themselves up or think they're crazy or weak," says Rego.

This may only drive you deeper down, while acceptance can relieve the suffering, he says.

In general, knowing and accepting that you're depressed can allow you to take steps to make it better or get treatment, rather than pretend that everything's just fine.


Treat yourself well
Take a look at the language you use when you think about or talk to yourself and compare it to the way you talk to everyone else. If there's a disconnect, try to treat yourself in a kinder, gentler way.

"We're often kind to everybody else but we beat ourselves up. That's a double standard," says Blackburn. "It would be preferable to use a single standard: Don't beat everyone else up, but get off your own back, too."

Hugo Stiglitz

Post of the year there, py2006!

Shint0

I'm not sure if other people here have been affected by that recent family tragedy. I haven't really been following it in other media but I have read a lot of the thread in relation to it here on Boards. While it does state no speculation allowed I actually think the thread is being handled very badly around the particular topics involved.

failinis

Seen the childhood educational therapist today (to get an up to date letter confirming my dyspraxia) and came away with more than I actually wanted. I need to process it but I am upset.

bridgettedon

Shint0 wrote: »

I'm not sure if other people here have been affected by that recent family tragedy. I haven't really been following it in other media but I have read a lot of the thread in relation to it here on Boards. While it does state no speculation allowed I actually think the thread is being handled very badly around the particular topics involved.

I think it's just a terrible tradegy. Today was the first day I actually read in depth about it both on here and in newspaper articles. It is upsetting. I usually avoid such topics. I just feel sorry for the poor ones who were murdered in their own home. I'm trying not to focus on what type of ife they may have been living up to that point. I hope they didn't suffer too much.

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

I'm not sure if other people here have been affected by that recent family tragedy. I haven't really been following it in other media but I have read a lot of the thread in relation to it here on Boards. While it does state no speculation allowed I actually think the thread is being handled very badly around the particular topics involved.

I think it's important for people to be able to discuss such an awful event. When something horrible happens we try our best to make sense of it. There are always going to be unpalatable opinions. I'm glad the AH mods are letting this run.

Shint0

Deleted User wrote: »

I think it's important for people to be able to discuss such an awful event. When something horrible happens we try our best to make sense of it. There are always going to be unpalatable opinions. I'm glad the AH mods are letting this run.

I don't actually agree in this case, Persepoly, as to how it's being discussed on Boards. People are throwing around the word monster, evil, controlling etc. about the perpetrator without actually knowing anything about the facts. In some cases such as this and just in a general sense, who might appear to be a coldhearted murderer may actually have been the real victim throughout their life.

People can sometimes be pushed over the edge and snap as a result of trauma but of course it's being presumed as well by a lot of posters that there might have been an underlying mental illness which is why I wondered if any posters here were possibly affected by that insinuation.

Obviously we can't really know in this case but it would also be tragedy if someone's character was trashed when they may have been the real victim during their lifetime. That type of scenario is not unheard of, unfortunately. I will leave it up to the other thread to continue to discuss it. I don't really want to comment on it anymore as I just think it's inappropriate when none of us know the real story behind the tragedy.

ivytwine

Counselling tomorrow. First session was very helpful, though I haven't made much progress. He has asked me to soften the voice that I use inflict my out of proportion judgements on myself, but I haven't been too successful. Work is horrible at the moment, I'm just fed up and disconnected. I feel like I'm floating up out of myself in meetings constantly lately. Lost the thread of one today and asked a question that had already been answered. Could hear the bafflement in my colleague's voice.
September has always been the new year for me (detest January) so hopefully this will be a bit of a fresh start.
Have been reading all the posts here and while I wish I had the energy to reply to everyone, I hope ye're all feeling ok today.

murria

Totally agree Shint0. Thread title specified "no speculation", there could not have been more speculation and conjecture. It just descended into a slanging match with people competing for who could be the most horrified and total disrespect for the victims, their families or indeed anyone suffering from mental illness. I'm happy to see the thread has been closed for now, it's a total train wreck.

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

I don't actually agree in this case, Persepoly, as to how it's being discussed on Boards. People are throwing around the word monster, evil, controlling etc. about the perpetrator without actually knowing anything about the facts. In some cases such as this and just in a general sense, who might appear to be a coldhearted murderer may actually have been the real victim throughout their life.

People can sometimes be pushed over the edge and snap as a result of trauma but of course it's being presumed as well by a lot of posters that there might have been an underlying mental illness which is why I wondered if any posters here were possibly affected by that insinuation.

Obviously we can't really know in this case but it would also be tragedy if someone's character was trashed when they may have been the real victim during their lifetime. That type of scenario is not unheard of, unfortunately. I will leave it up to the other thread to continue to discuss it. I don't really want to comment on it anymore as I just think it's inappropriate when none of us know the real story behind the tragedy.

We have no clue as to why he murdered his family. In order to make sense of horrific events people will indeed throw around words like "monster", "evil", etc. It's a way of rationalising and understanding the incident.

What we do know is that a man took a hatchet and knife to his wife and sons. For you to say that he may have been the real victim makes me feel sad and a little sick. At the end of the day that's the outcome. A mother and her three children have been murdered.

Our minds can be fragile. Psychotic episodes tend to occur as a result of huge strain or trauma. It's possible he had this break in reality. It doesn't matter. He still took the lives of his family. Discussions around the dark side of humanity is important. It's real and it exists. Not every horror is the action of psychotic behaviour.

Hugo Stiglitz

ivytwine wrote: »

Counselling tomorrow. First session was very helpful, though I haven't made much progress. He has asked me to soften the voice that I use inflict my out of proportion judgements on myself, but I haven't been too successful. Work is horrible at the moment, I'm just fed up and disconnected. I feel like I'm floating up out of myself in meetings constantly lately. Lost the thread of one today and asked a question that had already been answered. Could hear the bafflement in my colleague's voice.
September has always been the new year for me (detest January) so hopefully this will be a bit of a fresh start.
Have been reading all the posts here and while I wish I had the energy to reply to everyone, I hope ye're all feeling ok today.

Hopefully the session tomorrow will go well.

Tell me how

ivytwine wrote: »

Counselling tomorrow. First session was very helpful, though I haven't made much progress. He has asked me to soften the voice that I use inflict my out of proportion judgements on myself, but I haven't been too successful. Work is horrible at the moment, I'm just fed up and disconnected. I feel like I'm floating up out of myself in meetings constantly lately. Lost the thread of one today and asked a question that had already been answered. Could hear the bafflement in my colleague's voice.
September has always been the new year for me (detest January) so hopefully this will be a bit of a fresh start.
Have been reading all the posts here and while I wish I had the energy to reply to everyone, I hope ye're all feeling ok today.

Don't be too hard on yourself or expect significant changes within such as short time of starting counselling.

If you do, you will very quickly become disillusioned with small or non-existent progress from one session to the next. It can often take people several months before they even feel comfortable with a therapist so it's good that you felt the first session was helpful.

In meetings, I take copious notes. Most of them never again see the light of day but I find the action of writing something down does help in embedding it in the mind.

Progress is like a wave, up and down. It's tough but hopefully the general trend will be upwards.

ivytwine

Didn't know those details about the knife and hatchet and frankly wish I didn't know now.

The thing is, I got into an argument about a case of a similar nature (though not as violent) here a few years back and some posters were using it to further an agenda. I knew the family and I don't doubt there are posters who know the family reading posts about them now.

I don't think those threads serve any purpose to be honest. It allows people to spout uniformed opinions, it hurts those of us with mental health issues and people who knew the family. I dunno. I get about breaking the stigma but I don't know if it's right to discuss in somewhere like AH

Shint0

Deleted User wrote: »

For you to say that he may have been the real victim makes me feel sad and a little sick. At the end of the day that's the outcome.

Sorry, Persepoly. Didn't mean to upset you as I appreciate you have a lot of empathy like myself. Just sometimes those who have been a witness and a victim of trauma are able to see a bigger picture that might escape others. Harsh realities of life, unfortunately

ivytwine

Tell me how wrote: »

Don't be too hard on yourself or expect significant changes within such as short time of starting counselling.

If you do, you will very quickly become disillusioned with small or non-existent progress from one session to the next. It can often take people several months before they even feel comfortable with a therapist so it's good that you felt the first session was helpful.

In meetings, I take copious notes. Most of them never again see the light of day but I find the action of writing something down does help in embedding it in the mind.

Progress is like a wave, up and down. It's tough but hopefully the general trend will be upwards.

Thank you I know that things are a bit too deep rooted to be fixed right away, and I kinda feel worse at the moment, which I'm assured is all part of it. I did feel comfortable with him, which is a big thing because I had to tell him about an event I've told very few people about, and he's a man and I was very nervous about having a male counsellor (I'm a girl)

Agree with the note taking, must start doing that. My memory is absolutely appalling lately which is probably not unconnected to how I'm feeling

Tell me how

Can I say that whether or not you agree with discussing the details of "the topic" or not or where you stand with respect to empathy that there is a thread where that is already being discussed.

This thread generally remains very focused to the its title and purpose and I feel the users benefit due to this fact.

No offence intended, I just wouldn't like occasional readers to get the wrong idea of the thread.

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

Sorry, Persepoly. Didn't mean to upset you as I appreciate you have a lot of empathy like myself. Just sometimes those who have been a witness and a victim of trauma are able to see a bigger picture that might escape others. Harsh realities of life, unfortunately

You didn't upset me Shint0. It's just difficult for me to understand how there can be more than four victims in this awfulness.

I'm well acquainted with trauma and the impact it has on the individual and indeed family and community. I know firsthand what the edge looks like and how easy it can be to snap. However I can't for the life of me get my head around this one.

Your last sentence is spot on and I think useful in terms of a wider debate around mental health and what happened in Cavan. It is of course upsetting for the family and community to read reports and opinions. But we must discuss it, on the same way that we are now much more open about suicide. This is real life. Awful things happen everyday.

Yes this thread is a sort of place of support but I also think topics about mental health illnesses and their darkside should be allowed have a voice. By darkside I mean psychosis, sociopathy, personality disorders, etc.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Can I say that whether or not you agree with discussing the details of "the topic" or not or where you stand with respect to empathy that there is a thread where that is already being discussed.

This thread generally remains very focused to the its title and purpose and I feel the users benefit due to this fact.

No offence intended, I just wouldn't like occasional readers to get the wrong idea of the thread.

Why on earth would you use the word "the topic"? It was a murder-suicide which occurred.

Shint0

Tell me how wrote: »

Can I say that whether or not you agree with discussing the details of "the topic" or not or where you stand with respect to empathy that there is a thread where that is already being discussed.

This thread generally remains very focused to the its title and purpose and I feel the users benefit due to this fact.

No offence intended, I just wouldn't like occasional readers to get the wrong idea of the thread.

I absolutely agree with this which was my reason for posting here on the issue in the first place. This is a thread for supporting others with mental health difficulties and it's a very safe space to release what we are feeling about at the moment and I was affected by some of the comments l read in the thread in AH.

While people are entitled to their opinions I felt there were a lot of irresponsible comments being let slide. I felt I needed to say that here where I would be allowed to do that without it turning into a discussion or debate or having my post or feelings picked apart and if others felt they needed that space to release as well it might afford them that opportunity.

As you rightly say, Tell me How, there are plenty of other places on the site to debate the topic. The reason this thread works so well is because we all appreciate the spirit of the thread as a supportive place for those who need support and feel they can get things off their chest which might be affecting them at any given moment.

Kurtosis

Folks, could I ask that the discussion of what happened in Cavan be stopped or taken to a more appropriate thread? Whatever about giving a voice to such topics, the details of the events that occurred are distressing and this thread isn't a suitable place for this discussion.

Any queries, please drop me a PM, thanks.

Notsomindful

penguin88 wrote: »

Folks, could I ask that the discussion of what happened in Cavan be stopped or taken to a more appropriate thread? Whatever about giving a voice to such topics, the details of the events that occurred are distressing and this thread isn't a suitable place for this discussion.

Any queries, please drop me a PM, thanks.

Thanks penguin. I have been actively avoiding the news or any topic regarding this and to see it here ia quite unexpected.

Notsomindful

Anxiety through roof. Meds seem to make day even more unbearable. Feel totally swamped right now.

Gremlinertia

Missed my meds twice during week, more self sabotage as opposed to bad memory.. Have got my daily medicine box back in action..

Notsomindful

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Missed my meds twice during week, more self sabotage as opposed to bad memory.. Have got my daily medicine box back in action..

Same here ... Got phone call from gp re not collecting meds..thing is if I take them, morning routine with my kids is fecked. Its very frustrating.

I am ok ish without meds aside from anxiety.
Have appointment monday with psych so might bring it up then. I have been feeling quite low since anti depressant was stopped. Would rather be on it.

Shint0

Notsomindful wrote: »

Thanks penguin. I have been actively avoiding the news or any topic regarding this and to see it here ia quite unexpected.

On reflection, I won't be making any further posts here of a personal nature. Apologies to anyone who might have been upset by any posts I made here yesterday as that wasn't my intention. I'm still always happy to lend a listening ear when I can and I hope all the regular and new posters are doing okay today.

sorry about this for just barging in but I'm wondering. My youngest brother is on anti-depressants for almost 3 years with no break. Is that unusual? or is it a long time to be on them? I believe they're SSRIs, he's 37yrs old, but he cannot seem to function without them. any friendly advice? he's also had bad side effects too.

failinis

rusty cole wrote: »

sorry about this for just barging in but I'm wondering. My youngest brother is on anti-depressants for almost 3 years with no break. Is that unusual? or is it a long time to be on them? I believe they're SSRIs, he's 37yrs old, but he cannot seem to function without them. any friendly advice? he's also had bad side effects too.

We can't give medical advice on here but if he is having bad side effects, should his doctor not move him on to other versions?

I can't speak for this as I have never been on anti-depressants but I assume if one does not work well then you have options?

Good luck

Tell me how

rusty cole wrote: »

sorry about this for just barging in but I'm wondering. My youngest brother is on anti-depressants for almost 3 years with no break. Is that unusual? or is it a long time to be on them? I believe they're SSRIs, he's 37yrs old, but he cannot seem to function without them. any friendly advice? he's also had bad side effects too.

I was on meds for 7 years with only a break of 1 month during that time. If he is on them now for 3 years then his Dr must be meeting him and prescribing them for the next period (max 6 months prescription in my experience).

If he feels he'd like to come off them then it should only be done under the direction and constant supervision of his Dr. If that was to happen it would be likely that he would be weaned off of them over a suitable period.

Nobody would fault a diabetic for taking insulin all their life if they needed to do so. It's good for your brother in the sense that he can function while on them. They are doing what they are meant to in that respect.