Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

bridgettedon

Shint0 wrote: »

On reflection, I won't be making any further posts here of a personal nature. Apologies to anyone who might have been upset by any posts I made here yesterday as that wasn't my intention. I'm still always happy to lend a listening ear when I can and I hope all the regular and new posters are doing okay today.

Don't think you are the first to discuss a topic which divides opinion on here. I can see where both you and other posters are coming from. Sometimes it's better to stay away from certain threads on boards as they can be bad for your blood pressure. If there's one thing I have learned on this journey is to stay away from stuff, where possible, that will overwhelm you. It doesn't do you any good. Not that I'm telling you to stay away from the talked about issue but look after yourself. I hope you feel better okay today as well.

Gremlinertia

I think current affairs/news will all be divisive, there are a lot of upsetting things in the world and our opinions will differ.. I think as Penguin88 said we need to leave those topics to After Hours or Politics as we all say and hear things differently.

bridgettedon

Not feeling good today. Minding my nephew and was upset that I couldn't comfort him when he was crying. I felt so guilty. There was someone else to take over though but I don't know how the parents manage it. I wanted to run away. I had a little cry and chat and feel a bit better. I'm trying to work on my communication skills. So at least I told the other person what ws wrong instead of just leaving asap.

Things can change so fast. I was sick yesterday and couldn't make meeting a friend. I told them I was vomiting through the night. They then began changing the plans as they obviously really wanted to do something. Beginning to see their selfish side. I don't ask someone to meet when I know they are unwell. I know it can be annoying for the other person but these things happen.

Shint0

Really hope you feel better soon, bridgettedon, and maybe the other person will understand. Thanks so much for your kind words earlier. I appreciated that.

Hope everybody will try to have a nice weekend. I'm just about to head off for a festival in Wembley so hopefully that will keep me happy

Hugo Stiglitz

Shint0 wrote: »

Hope everybody will try to have a nice weekend. I'm just about to head off for a festival in Wembley so hopefully that will keep me happy

Have fun at the festival, Shint0!

Gremlinertia

Well folks, it's friday night, the weekend can be hard on me, how are you all doing so far?

Notsomindful

Beyond wrecked but working tomorrow.
All over the place..

Hugo Stiglitz

Hopefully your weekends will be ok there, ladies. x

failinis

Getting up at 5am tomorrow to catch a flight, I hate flying so much.
Just ugh.
Everything about it, leave house by 6am to reach airport by 8am and then get through security etc.
"the car will break down on the way, there will road blocks due to bomb scares, we will miss the flight, security will think I am suspicious, my bag will be too heavy, my suitcase will get lost, we will all crash and die horrible deaths, the engine stopped working, were going to crash land, omg we landed thankfully" then 4hr drive to where I am meant to be.
My spine and hip will ache horribly as well during the whole thing.

Someone needs to invent teleportation.

failinis

Just landed and need to drive for a few hours. I think I am sick unless its from nerves. Once I get food and bed all will be well.

Wilberto

failinis wrote: »

Just landed and need to drive for a few hours. I think I am sick unless its from nerves. Once I get food and bed all will be well.

At least the worst part is over now anyway. The security checks, flying, and anything else airport or aeroplane related.

pew

This week has hit me very hard anxiety wise. I finished up in work which I'm partly devastated about, partly happy.

I am a wreck this morning. I am also hungover but I can't control myself. I can't stop crying and being extremely anxious.

I feel I have no control in life. That scares me to pieces.

I'm going to have a duvet day and try get myself together.

BaaLamb

pew wrote: »

This week has hit me very hard anxiety wise. I finished up in work which I'm partly devastated about, partly happy.

I am a wreck this morning. I am also hungover but I can't control myself. I can't stop crying and being extremely anxious.

I feel I have no control in life. That scares me to pieces.

I'm going to have a duvet day and try get myself together.

I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy, I really am. I can totally empathise with you on how you are feeling. I think lack of control is a huge thing for people with anxiety issues, I know having no control over the future really wigs me out. I hope the duvet day helps. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

BaaLamb

I'm struggling a lot today, just sitting here typing this and crying now. I'm so scared of what the future holds. We've heard nothing more from social welfare about my JSA claim and hubby is only starting the process of his claim now. Neither of us wants to be unemployed but neither of us has been lucky with getting work. Poor hubby has been trying to find a job for months before the end of his contract and I've been looking since I found out about my redundancy. I actually haven't applied for anything new in a couple of weeks because I started having panic attacks when I went onto job sites. I'm so anxious I start to fall apart just looking at adverts for jobs. I feel like such a loser and a failure. Sorry for moaning but I'm really scared.

Tell me how

BaaLamb wrote: »

I'm struggling a lot today, just sitting here typing this and crying now. I'm so scared of what the future holds. We've heard nothing more from social welfare about my JSA claim and hubby is only starting the process of his claim now. Neither of us wants to be unemployed but neither of us has been lucky with getting work. Poor hubby has been trying to find a job for months before the end of his contract and I've been looking since I found out about my redundancy. I actually haven't applied for anything new in a couple of weeks because I started having panic attacks when I went onto job sites. I'm so anxious I start to fall apart just looking at adverts for jobs. I feel like such a loser and a failure. Sorry for moaning but I'm really scared.

Hi BaaLamb

Would you or your partner consider part time work or a position outside of your area of expertise. Working in a cafe or or behind the counter in a cinema for example. I know you may not see it as a long term plan but if you were to do so it may be a halfway measure whilst giving you some income and allowing to apply for jobs from a position where you at least have something and so the success or failure of a new application does not necessarily feel like such a daunting thought.

I hope you are Ok with me saying this but how we project ourselves in job applications and interviews can have a significant impact on the outcome of the application. If I am interviewing someone (which I do regularly) I want to see someone who is calm and confident in their abilities and what they may bring to the company. You are very upset and distraught at the situation you find yourself and your husband in but if that is obvious when applying for new roles it may negatively impact on your chances. I'm not saying that it is right that this is the case but I feel it may be the reality with some employers. It's difficult but might be a case of faking it until you make it in some cases.

Have you ever tried mindfulness. Lots of people have success with it and it can be as simple as giving you 30 seconds where you get your breathing right and try to avoid the panic or anxious thoughts. This, I think, might be a technique which you may benefit from before situations such as applying for roles.

You're not a loser. You are going through a difficult period. This will pass. You and your husband WILL get work. It may take a while but all this happen. I'm say this because I believe that your difficulties are temporary. Nothing you have described is permanent even though I appreciate it may seem that it is.

Take care

failinis

The place we are staying is awful and my mother injured her knee so cant look forward to anything.
She does not have wifi so cant even sit and watch shows she likes online.
I know its not my fault but I feel like this holiday for her has been ruined, she has looked forward to this so much.
Fúck sake!

Gremlinertia

Can you do something little for her Failinis?. Wine or flowers or something nice to eat maybe. Sometimes little thoughtful things can rescue some good out of the situation

failinis

Good idea. We are going a to a wee market which she will enjoy and I knw chocolates she likes from another town which I will get. Plus flowers waiting for her when she gets home later this week. You know how you want to spoil your mum and make everything great. She deseveres it. Just stressed

Gremlinertia

failinis wrote: »

Good idea. We are going a to a wee market which she will enjoy and I knw chocolates she likes from another town which I will get. Plus flowers waiting for her when she gets home later this week. You know how you want to spoil your mum and make everything great. She deseveres it. Just stressed

Nice, little things can make such a difference, sure we all know that.. Getting home to a quiet house this morning with no lawnmowers going, oh yes.

pew

Imm better than I was yesterday. But the reality of having to sign onto the social welfare has set in. I am terrified and anxious.

Gremlinertia

pew wrote: »

Imm better than I was yesterday. But the reality of having to sign onto the social welfare has set in. I am terrified and anxious.

When you go, bring a book, headphones, a bottle of water or some drink and a pen. You may have to go a few times and those few items along with the usual paperwork have been sanity savers..
There's also a 'state benefits' forum if you have questions, hope it goes well for you.

Notsomindful

Dodgy night and past few days. Struggling a lot tonight and meds not helping.
Could do with more support right now.

BaaLamb

Would you or your partner consider part time work or a position outside of your area of expertise.

Yes we would. The jobs I've applied for are mostly outside my area of expertise. I've applied for things like operator positions in big MNC manufacturing plants and not even gotten to interview. I've signed up with an agency that supplies operators and OH has signed up with a multitude of agencies including one that does a lot of temporary staff. We've both been rejected for being overqualified which is disheartening as we are willing to work.

I hope you are Ok with me saying this but how we project ourselves in job applications and interviews can have a significant impact on the outcome of the application. If I am interviewing someone (which I do regularly) I want to see someone who is calm and confident in their abilities and what they may bring to the company. You are very upset and distraught at the situation you find yourself and your husband in but if that is obvious when applying for new roles it may negatively impact on your chances. I'm not saying that it is right that this is the case but I feel it may be the reality with some employers. It's difficult but might be a case of faking it until you make it in some cases.

Totally get what you are saying here and agree that it is important that I not portray desperation and panic in an interview. I've had maybe one interview since I was made redundant and it went well but I just wasn't what they needed. I am pretty good at faking it in situations like that, at least until I get back to the car anyway! OH isn't a panicky type of person and he has been getting pretty good feedback from interviews but just hasn't gotten a break yet.

Have you ever tried mindfulness.

Yes I have but I find it a very difficult thing to practice especially if the anxiety is bad. I have been trying to use it a bit more recently

You're not a loser. You are going through a difficult period. This will pass. You and your husband WILL get work. It may take a while but all this happen. I'm say this because I believe that your difficulties are temporary. Nothing you have described is permanent even though I appreciate it may seem that it is.

Thanks for the kind words. I feel like a loser and all of this scares the crap out of me. I am afraid of everything- talk to the bank = petrified, deal with social welfare = panicked. Everything is so scary at the moment BUT my mood has improved a bit in the last two weeks and I think that is because of the small tweak my psychiatrist gave my medication. I see the psych again this week so hopefully that support will give me another wee boost.

I really hope you are right and we do get work. We are trying very hard to get anything at all. Thank you again for your thoughtful response to my post.

BaaLamb

pew wrote: »

Imm better than I was yesterday. But the reality of having to sign onto the social welfare has set in. I am terrified and anxious.

Hi Pew, I posted recently enough about feeling the exact same in advance of going to social welfare. The initial bit when you go into apply is really fine as you will just get forms and an appointment to submit your claim and to get a public services card if you haven't already got one. Nobody was unpleasant to me at any time I was there and it'll be over before you know it.

BaaLamb

Notsomindful wrote: »

Dodgy night and past few days. Struggling a lot tonight and meds not helping.
Could do with more support right now.

I'm sorry I wasn't online to offer you some support last night. I hope you manged to get some sleep? Will check in throughout today to see if you post again. Hope today is a little better for you.

Shint0

BaaLamb, I'm delighted to hear you got a little boost from the adjustment in meds and there has been some improvement for you.

Try not to take it to heart about the general operative roles you have applied for as those type of companies generally try to match the aptitude of candidates to a particular role in the hope the employee will remain in the position and not just resign as soon as another better position comes along. They are looking for longevity. For the more short-term temporary roles they most likely look for somebody with previous relevant experience that can hit the ground running and doesn't require much training.

I'm not sure from your posts if your husband has actually finished his previous contract yet and has got his P45. As soon as he gets his P45 then both of you should back to the social welfare office together as your claim won't be entertained until you can show that he has definitely finished work and you say you were already refused on that basis. Sometimes companies can be slow to issue a P45 so he should ask his company to expedite it. They can sometimes issue it even before he has received his final paycheck if he gets paid monthly by working off their payroll system. He should at least get a letter from the company to show that he has ceased employment if he actually has at this point.

I know you said in a previous post you went to Intreo and I'm not sure if you had any further contact with them regarding employment. If you disclosed your current mental health difficulties they should have referred you to their specialist employment service. If not ask to be referred.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/employment_and_disability/supported_employment_for_people_with_disabilities.html

This service often has opportunities through various companies they are looking to fill straightaway without having to jump through all the hoops while also supporting you to find more relevant positions directly related to your previous experience but keep looking yourself too.

Notsomindful

BaaLamb wrote: »

I'm sorry I wasn't online to offer you some support last night. I hope you manged to get some sleep? Will check in throughout today to see if you post again. Hope today is a little better for you.

I got sleep.thanks Baalamb. I am.ok ish. Still feeling bad about last night. Had psych today an d asked to be put back on anti depressants. She feels I am.more regulated than I have been in past but am.not handling my stress very well right now. I am not coping as well as I could..

Am starting zyban meds once I get them from gp. Am.back to her in 2 weeks. Im lucky she is so understanding.

BaaLamb

Notsomindful wrote: »

I got sleep.thanks Baalamb. I am.ok ish. Still feeling bad about last night. Had psych today an d asked to be put back on anti depressants. She feels I am.more regulated than I have been in past but am.not handling my stress very well right now. I am not coping as well as I could..

Am starting zyban meds once I get them from gp. Am.back to her in 2 weeks. Im lucky she is so understanding.

Glad you are at least ok-ish and that you got good support from the GP. Not familiar with zyban myself but hope they work well for you. Will keep checking in on you in case you need an anonymous listening ear

mansize

Miserable weather has me loving my bed again. I slept most of the day so god knows when I'll fall asleep tonight

Notsomindful

BaaLamb wrote: »

Glad you are at least ok-ish and that you got good support from the GP. Not familiar with zyban myself but hope they work well for you. Will keep checking in on you in case you need an anonymous listening ear

Well saw psychiatrist today and have to get script from gp. Thanks baa.