Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

StripedBoxers

Thanks Hugo

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

What kind of work are you doing with your OT, if you don't mind me asking? Had my first appointment with mine today ... hard to know where to start!

Yeah sure no bother. I'm eating right now but I'll do up a post and come back with it in a bit

If you've any other questions etc feel free to ask

Hugo Stiglitz

Does anyone here find that they can get very distressed when they obsess over things?

mickstupp

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Does anyone here find that they can get very distressed when they obsess over things?

Yes, when I get into a rumination loop, it not only kills all other thinking, it greatly damages my ability to keep tension, stress, depression at bay. And it builds up, so I'm far more unstable and likely to lose control. Holding myself together can be very difficult then. I mean it's difficult now, but when I'm obsessing over something it's far harder. Right now I'm tense all over and for the last few weeks have a tendency to lose it at the most inconvenient moments, just for a few seconds... but all that is way more pronounced when obsessing or ruminating on something.

And it is really distressing. Not just the physical and emotional symptoms, but the not knowing when it's going to end, or when it's going to hit. It kind of fills you with fear even when you're not obsessing... which sometimes kicks you into obsessing over it cause you're so damn worried about it happening!!!! ARGH!

Hugo Stiglitz

mickstupp wrote: »

Yes, when I get into a rumination loop, it not only kills all other thinking, it greatly damages my ability to keep tension, stress, depression at bay. And it builds up, so I'm far more unstable and likely to lose control. Holding myself together can be very difficult then. I mean it's difficult now, but when I'm obsessing over something it's far harder. Right now I'm tense all over and for the last few weeks have a tendency to lose it at the most inconvenient moments, just for a few seconds... but all that is way more pronounced when obsessing or ruminating on something.

And it is really distressing. Not just the physical and emotional symptoms, but the not knowing when it's going to end, or when it's going to hit. It kind of fills you with fear even when you're not obsessing... which sometimes kicks you into obsessing over it cause you're so damn worried about it happening!!!! ARGH!

Well said, Mick.

I've been declining in terms of mood and fear the last few weeks. Sadly, this has increased with the decline.

mickstupp

I've been having good luck dealing with the rumination for the last few weeks. Everything else, not so good, but the rumination is becoming less of a problem.

I've started talking to myself about it. So when I notice I'm doing it, instead of fighting it and trying to distract myself out it etc. etc. which never really works anyway, I stop struggling. Try and accept it.

So I'll literally be standing in the kitchen or something and say out loud: "Ah! I'm ruminating. I can see it now. Those thoughts about XYZ, flying around back and forth. Yep... there's that imaginary conversation I've been repeating for the past three days. I can see that now too. And what's it doing to me? It's making me feel awful. And constricted and tense and upset. I am feeling upset. And it's making me feel more depressed. ... But I'm not always deep in rumination, and that's what this is. So it'll go eventually in its own time. I know by now I can't fight my way out of it. So I'm accepting it. Hi there Rumination, you lousy piece of sh*t. I see you. Do what you have to do, I've been here before, I'll just wait till you've finished and then I'll get on with my life."

And the oddest thing has been happening... if I manage to literally talk out loud to myself, accepting what's going on, the rumination has been having less of a hold on me. Gradually decreasing. I have moments, or the odd hour here and there where it strangles me. But I'm no longer having days or weeks of the same thing over and over and over.

Can't say it'll always be this good (hah), but for the moment, speaking to myself about accepting the rumination seems to be working.

Hugo Stiglitz

mickstupp wrote: »

I've been having good luck dealing with the rumination for the last few weeks. Everything else, not so good, but the rumination is becoming less of a problem.

I've started talking to myself about it. So when I notice I'm doing it, instead of fighting it and trying to distract myself out it etc. etc. which never really works anyway, I stop struggling. Try and accept it.

So I'll literally be standing in the kitchen or something and say out loud: "Ah! I'm ruminating. I can see it now. Those thoughts about XYZ, flying around back and forth. Yep... there's that imaginary conversation I've been repeating for the past three days. I can see that now too. And what's it doing to me? It's making me feel awful. And constricted and tense and upset. I am feeling upset. And it's making me feel more depressed. ... But I'm not always deep in rumination, and that's what this is. So it'll go eventually in its own time. I know by now I can't fight my way out of it. So I'm accepting it. Hi there Rumination, you lousy piece of sh*t. I see you. Do what you have to do, I've been here before, I'll just wait till you've finished and then I'll get on with my life."

And the oddest thing has been happening... if I manage to literally talk out loud to myself, accepting what's going on, the rumination has been having less of a hold on me. Gradually decreasing. I have moments, or the odd hour here and there where it strangles me. But I'm no longer having days or weeks of the same thing over and over and over.

Can't say it'll always be this good (hah), but for the moment, speaking to myself about accepting the rumination seems to be working.

I'll have to try doing that. It's really beating me at the moment in time unfortunately.

Gremlinertia

Mickstup i was smiling reading your post, i find that really useful as a strategy too. It takes away the power of the ruminating thoughts.. Fair play to you 4 had to be taught that one!

Hugo it's well worth it, might feel silly to start but stay with it..

mickstupp

It's the acceptance part. I was really skeptical about it. But I kept trying it, on the man's advice, and it's been helping more and more.

Doesn't seem to make a difference for the depression side of things... or certain types of thoughts... but for the rumination it's been doing the trick.

I hope you find a way to kick its ass. Because I know how awful it can be. If I was anywhere near you I'd give you a hug.

---

@Gremlinertia - yeah, that's it! Taking away its power! I used to do it before college exams years ago. I'd sit down and write everything I was scared about. Getting that stuff out of my head and onto a page, or in this case saying it out loud, it puts a shape on things, stops it from rattling around in your head chaotically. You can see the problem and even though it's still a problem, it gets smaller. It's putting some sort of control on it, shining a light on it. Or something.

Hugo Stiglitz

I'll give it a good hard go so. Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

Gremlinertia

You'll laugh and feel a bit cringe but stick with it Hugo, best o luck..

mickstupp

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You'll laugh and feel a bit cringe but stick with it Hugo, best o luck..

Shur I cringe at the best of times, Grem mon! :pac:

Gremlinertia

mickstupp wrote: »

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

Add me to the list on that request. I don't break into tears really but i get mad teary eyes out of nowhere, almost as suddenly as getting a kick in the nethers.

Hugo Stiglitz

mickstupp wrote: »

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

No tips, unfortunately. I need tips for that too. Could have done with them 15 minutes ago!

bridgettedon

Does anyone sleep loads? Last night I slept for 11 hours and then had a two hour nap earlier. I didn't even have work today so have no excuse.

mickstupp

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

I don't know anything about sleep, or sleep disturbances though.

Hugo Stiglitz

mickstupp wrote: »

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

*bro-hugs* I can imagine. :-/

I sleep for 12 hours or more if left alone to. Usually on the weekend. During the week is the opposite, I get about 4 hours a night. It really does affect me negatively.

bridgettedon

mickstupp wrote: »

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

It's funny how it affects us differently. I wouldn't be able to survive on 5 hours sleep on a regular basis.

Euphoria Intensifies

carzony wrote: »

Went to the doctors only to be told he never made the appointment over the phone last week. Waited 30 mins in waiting room just to be told that. One mess up after another with them.

Oh that is awful carzony! So unprofessional of them. But well done on making it to the doctors and sitting in the waiting room - I know you've been struggling with that so you should mark today as a bit of a win anyway.

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Anyone ever have days were suddenly things hit you like a tonne of bricks?

Today is like that. From 0 -> 360 at the blink of a teary eye.

This was me today. I skipped work and spent the day in bed (which was stupid as I was meant to work from home today) and just avoided the world. My sleep has been so bad lately, constantly waking up during the night and finding it hard to fall back asleep.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

This was me today. I skipped work and spent the day in bed (which was stupid as I was meant to work from home today) and just avoided the world. My sleep has been so bad lately, constantly waking up during the night and finding it hard to fall back asleep.

Sorry to hear that, EI. Hope things improve there soon.

Euphoria Intensifies

Thanks Hugo I hope things start to improve soon for you too.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Thanks Hugo I hope things start to improve soon for you too.

Thanks, S.

Those scientists need to hurry up and invent a miracle cure for all things mental health. I'd gladly sacrifice a baldness cure for it!

mickstupp

Was asked to figure out precisely what I meant when I say "I feel bad", i.e. What does 'bad' mean for me.

Turning into a long list...

Hugo Stiglitz

mickstupp wrote: »

Was asked to figure out precisely what I meant when I say "I feel bad", i.e. What does 'bad' mean for me.

Turning into a long list...

Who asked you that?

It can be very hard to pinpoint exact causes, especially if there are a lot of things at play.

Keane2baMused

Thanks Hugo..much appreciated.

Euphoria that's exactly what I want to do but I have a tiny person who doesn't feel like doing the same so up I must be

Mickstupp I know the feeling. Why do you feel bad? Evidently 'I just do' doesn't suffice as a response!.

I think I got about 3 hours sleep last night. Its interesting how some sleep and sleep when they're low, im the opposite. My brain just doesn't switch off.

Gremlinertia

I'm a little hyper, trying to hold it down as i know i can go a bit off the rails. Discharge from day hospital tomorrow is really hitting home..

Mickstup, it's awfully hard to write that stuff down but i found anyway that it makes it a bit easier as it's like it's broken down to bite size chunks.. One point at a time..

Be nice to yourselves one and all, stay the course x

Hugo Stiglitz

I got in touch with a counselling service yesterday. I think I've put it off for far too long now, and have caused myself a LOT of damage in many ways. I can't keep up like this, otherwise all will be lost.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I got in touch with a counselling service yesterday. I think I've put it off for far too long now, and have caused myself a LOT of damage in many ways. I can't keep up like this, otherwise all will be lost.

Well done man, take your time..

carzony

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I got in touch with a counselling service yesterday.

Very similar to myself mate, I've gone so far now it's gonna be very hard to get back into any kind of normality. I decided this morning to take no **** from anyone because I've been walked over again and again. I called the Doctors office only to get the ignorant receptionist telling me the doctor was busy all day and won't be able to get back to me, so, I told her I was making a complaint about the doctor and the way patients were being treated. He called me back in 5 minutes with an apology and appointment for his afternoon.

Only thing that seems to work with these people is threatening with complaints and legal action...

bridgettedon

carzony wrote: »

Very similar to myself mate, I've gone so far now it's gonna be very hard to get back into any kind of normality. I decided this morning to take no **** from anyone because I've been walked over again and again. I called the Doctors office only to get the ignorant receptionist telling me the doctor was busy all day and won't be able to get back to me, so, I told her I was making a complaint about the doctor and the way patients were being treated. He called me back in 5 minutes with an apology and appointment for his afternoon.

Only thing that seems to work with these people is threatening with complaints and legal action...

Well done Carzony. You have every right to get first class care. I hope the apt goes well.