Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

jezzer

failinis wrote: »

I stayed in bed almost all of yesterday, I knew then my mood was worse then I expected.
I stayed again most of this morning, but I did get up and go into town to get stamps/post a letter after debating if I could get up or not. Glad I did as I seen a nice sunset:



To be honest I don't feel any better despite my walk and feel like cutting people off again.

I read a quote earlier "Do not cut a tree in winter, and neither make decisions at your lowest" or something to that effect.

wow what a view, where is that? I am not sure if you realise it but you are making great strides, even if you dont feel it yet, keep it going pal

Gremlinertia

Low is lifting a little, realised i missed a lot of sleep Trying to get things more together, straighten up house, get meds sorted etc. Beautiful day which i hope i might make it out to at some point.

failinis

jezzer wrote: »

wow what a view, where is that? I am not sure if you realise it but you are making great strides, even if you dont feel it yet, keep it going pal

The post office - in Cornwall for my studies.

I still feel low, I stayed in bed again (normally a sign for me as I normally get up by 8). Like a fog. Have avoided replying to a good friend of mine for 2days now, they do understand I get like that when in a mood. But I know how rude it is.

Was talking to a friend last night who I quite fancy, they started a conversation out of the blue of: "If there was someone here that you liked who asked you out, would be ready to be in a relationship", I said "Well of course that depends on who asked doesn't it?" and she said "Well if you were a guy I would date you, you are great." :rolleyes:
I know they meant well but it is kind of **** to lead a conversation and then say that, or maybe that is just me. Kind of kicked me when I already felt down.

My throat has been feeling very tight the past few days. I have started eating again so maybe my headaches will stop.

jezzer

failinis wrote: »

The post office - in Cornwall for my studies.

I still feel low, I stayed in bed again (normally a sign for me as I normally get up by 8). Like a fog. Have avoided replying to a good friend of mine for 2days now, they do understand I get like that when in a mood. But I know how rude it is.

Was talking to a friend last night who I quite fancy, they started a conversation out of the blue of: "If there was someone here that you liked who asked you out, would be ready to be in a relationship", I said "Well of course that depends on who asked doesn't it?" and she said "Well if you were a guy I would date you, you are great." :rolleyes:
I know they meant well but it is kind of **** to lead a conversation and then say that, or maybe that is just me. Kind of kicked me when I already felt down.

My throat has been feeling very tight the past few days. I have started eating again so maybe my headaches will stop.

Sorry, I dont quite follow, your a girl and you fancy your friend who is also a girl but she likes guys? have i that right? if so, i'm sure she didnt mean any harm, possibly quite the opposite, she complimented you which was nice, look on the bright side, you were talking to a friend and thats brilliant so well done there. You should really give yourself a pat on the back, in the past two days you have got out of bed, you went for a walk and you have started eating, thats amazing progress, its not easy to do those things when you are feeling down so well done!
Cornwall looks lovely, are you studying over there? you seemed to take something good from that view and you acknowledged it so thats real progress, remember that.

failinis

I am still ignoring a close friend. I will reply to their messages tomorrow. Don't feel ready to talk to them just yet and they were travelling.

I just had a bizarre feeling but its happened to me in the past - everything speeds up, music, people talking, my internal reading voice, my vision, people moving and I feel just really really odd and my co-ordination is off.

This happened a lot as a child, and I was told to go fúck up and play outside when it happened back then.

The closest thing I see for it is "Alice and wonderland syndrome" but that is more visual distortion.

I dont like it and I feel very odd. But the actual "episode" has now passed. I dont feel right.

Might be stress but Uni has not even started properly yet so how I can I be stressed.

jezzer

failinis wrote: »

I am still ignoring a close friend. I will reply to their messages tomorrow. Don't feel ready to talk to them just yet and they were travelling.

I just had a bizarre feeling but its happened to me in the past - everything speeds up, music, people talking, my internal reading voice, my vision, people moving and I feel just really really odd and my co-ordination is off.

This happened a lot as a child, and I was told to go fúck up and play outside when it happened back then.

The closest thing I see for it is "Alice and wonderland syndrome" but that is more visual distortion.

I dont like it and I feel very odd. But the actual "episode" has now passed. I dont feel right.

Might be stress but Uni has not even started properly yet so how I can I be stressed.

sometimes stress can come from overthinking things as opposed to actually doing them, when you get back into the college routine things will bed down for you....
we all do that from time to time with close friends, even though they are close friends we may not be in the right head space to talk with them, a good friend will understand that....
have you started back eating much? i take it you moved away to college so being out of your comfort zone can be tough but soon enough things bed themselves in, dont be hard on yourself, each day is a step forward

veganrun

Was on a bit of a downer earlier this week, on Tuesday to be precise which I found a little odd as I'm not back to work until tomorrow.  Probably a combination of knowing Christmas is over, back to the drudgery, and also knowing I have my performance review tomorrow morning at work.  All sorts of thoughts going through my head, like "why is my boss having it first thing, is it so that he will give me the sack and they can get me out of there as soon as possible?  Maybe I should just go in tomorrow morning and start clearing up my desk just in-case so I get a head start".  I'm fairly sure I'm overreacting thinking that, but I find it hard to think rationally or should I say, to truly believe the rational thoughts.  They are there, I just ignore them as I feel if I believe them, I'm tempting fate.

I also noticed recently how I seem to recoil in horror when any sort of social event is suggested.  It's like an automatic reflex to say "No".  I don't know why I am like this these days.#

Best wishes to everyone on here who is having a tough time.  I feel like a bit of a whiner bringing up my issues as they seem trivial at times, but it's hard to be stuck in such a negative mindset.

Shadylou

Having a bit of a tough time at the mo....... I was on antidepressants for post natal depression after I had my son but haven't taken them for 3 years and was doing fine.

A close friend has been diagnosed with cancer out of the blue and it's hit me hard. I've managed to convince myself I either have cancer or mnd (I've been having diarrhea and dizziness weakness in arms and legs etc)....... while I can see that the ridiculousness of it, I can't stop googling symptoms and then putting myself into a total panic if any of the symptoms match me.

Every pain and ache is examined and I have spent the past 2 weeks awake every night wondering how my children would cope if I died, I'm at the end of my tether now, overreacting to every article I read but I cant stop it's like a compulsion with me.

I want to get some scans done just to be sure, do you think my doctor will take me seriously or will he think I'm a hypochondriac?

failinis

Shadylou wrote: »

Having a bit of a tough time at the mo....... I was on antidepressants for post natal depression after I had my son but haven't taken them for 3 years and was doing fine.

A close friend has been diagnosed with cancer out of the blue and it's hit me hard. I've managed to convince myself I either have cancer or mnd (I've been having diarrhea and dizziness weakness in arms and legs etc)....... while I can see that the ridiculousness of it, I can't stop googling symptoms and then putting myself into a total panic if any of the symptoms match me.

Every pain and ache is examined and I have spent the past 2 weeks awake every night wondering how my children would cope if I died, I'm at the end of my tether now, overreacting to every article I read but I cant stop it's like a compulsion with me.

I want to get some scans done just to be sure, do you think my doctor will take me seriously or will he think I'm a hypochondriac?

If you have been having those symptoms before your friend was diagnosed (the bowel and weak limb issues) there is no harm in asking to get it checked out. Some of it might be made worse by you thinking there is a problem, but its normal to get kind of hypochondriac over real symptoms.
If its not too costly - yet it checked for your peace of mind. I know how bad waiting and not knowing is.

I am sorry you and your friend are going through such a hard time. x

jezzer

veganrun wrote: »

Was on a bit of a downer earlier this week, on Tuesday to be precise which I found a little odd as I'm not back to work until tomorrow.  Probably a combination of knowing Christmas is over, back to the drudgery, and also knowing I have my performance review tomorrow morning at work.  All sorts of thoughts going through my head, like "why is my boss having it first thing, is it so that he will give me the sack and they can get me out of there as soon as possible?  Maybe I should just go in tomorrow morning and start clearing up my desk just in-case so I get a head start".  I'm fairly sure I'm overreacting thinking that, but I find it hard to think rationally or should I say, to truly believe the rational thoughts.  They are there, I just ignore them as I feel if I believe them, I'm tempting fate.

I also noticed recently how I seem to recoil in horror when any sort of social event is suggested.  It's like an automatic reflex to say "No".  I don't know why I am like this these days.#

Best wishes to everyone on here who is having a tough time.  I feel like a bit of a whiner bringing up my issues as they seem trivial at times, but it's hard to be stuck in such a negative mindset.

I hear you mate, the back to work fear is tough enough without having a performance review, its a terrible time for anyone to have it, thats poor management, however at least you will have it over you, we all always feel like that when we have been off for a while, will they find something i did wrong, will i be let go, its horrible, but the majority of the time we over react and everything works out ok in the end, its a very tough time of the year, we all need a routine and xmas upsets that, however, on the other side of that, the drudgery can become too much at times, i pumped myself up for going back to work this week and i got to friday but this morning i was thinking, i just have to do this again next week and again and again and again.... how i will get through it is by doing something i love, like a side project or even look at changing jobs at some stage... we all need something to work towards, take it day by day, week by week, look forward to something, things always bed in, hang in there, let us know how your review goes, i bet it will be fine mate

Wanderer78

veganrun wrote:

Was on a bit of a downer earlier this week, on Tuesday to be precise which I found a little odd as I'm not back to work until tomorrow. Probably a combination of knowing Christmas is over, back to the drudgery, and also knowing I have my performance review tomorrow morning at work. All sorts of thoughts going through my head, like "why is my boss having it first thing, is it so that he will give me the sack and they can get me out of there as soon as possible? Maybe I should just go in tomorrow morning and start clearing up my desk just in-case so I get a head start". I'm fairly sure I'm overreacting thinking that, but I find it hard to think rationally or should I say, to truly believe the rational thoughts. They are there, I just ignore them as I feel if I believe them, I'm tempting fate.

We really need to stop this wide scale testing of people, humans are not robots, neoclassical theory is a pile of ****e, and you'd be wondering why there's a rise in mental health problems!

Happy New year folks

StripedBoxers

My anxiety is high today as I'm going for round two of chemo and then I'm getting my hair cut off because it is falling out like mad now.

I hope I don't have a panic attack.

Wanderer78

StripedBoxers wrote:

My anxiety is high today as I'm going for round two of chemo and then I'm getting my hair cut off because it is falling out like mad now.

Best of luck

veganrun

Review is over and it didn't go great. Overall I apparently met my objectives but I've areas to work on and if my performance was the same next year I'd be getting a negative score. They also mentioned there may be an option for me to move into a slightly different role if that is something I'd be interested in.

Overall feeling pretty upset but trying not to show it.

veganrun

Review is over and it didn't go great. Overall I apparently met my objectives but I've areas to work on and if my performance was the same next year I'd be getting a negative score. They also mentioned there may be an option for me to move into a slightly different role if that is something I'd be interested in.

Overall feeling pretty upset but trying not to show it.

Wanderer78

veganrun wrote: »

Review is over and it didn't go great. Overall I apparently met my objectives but I've areas to work on and if my performance was the same next year I'd be getting a negative score. They also mentioned there may be an option for me to move into a slightly different role if that is something I'd be interested in.

Overall feeling pretty upset but trying not to show it.

try take the positives from it, i personally think these work reviews are a load of siht! ive never actually had one but i suspect my cynical self would just take the p*ss out of them if i had to endure them, of course probably leading to my sacking.

the option could be worth looking into, could be an interesting role and an interesting change in your life

veganrun

I don't feel like there are any positives. I was left with the thought that if I keep going there way I am, the next review score will be negative, that's what was said effectively.

My feeling is that continuing in my current role is perhaps the not best option. I know I have certain limitations with regards aspects of my job and at moment it seems like that will just continue to stress me, death by a thousand cuts.

Just feeling like s**t now and questioning myself completely.

Wanderer78

veganrun wrote: »

I don't feel like there are any positives. I was left with the thought that if I keep going there way I am, the next review score will be negative, that's what was said effectively.

My feeling is that continuing in my current role is perhaps the not best option. I know I have certain limitations with regards aspects of my job and at moment it seems like that will just continue to stress me, death by a thousand cuts.

Just feeling like s**t now and questioning myself completely.

ah thats a horrible feeling, i really think these work reviews are a load of siht. i dont think id be able to help myself if i had to present myself to one. id end up taking the p*ss out of all involved. ive moved on from the world of testing and self justification. nobody's perfect including me, self improvement is always good but i don't think we need to constantly prove ourselves or even to be approved by others.

veganrun

Yeah it's not great. The only good thing to come from it is that I've zero appetite now. Which is useful as I need to lose weight.

Wanderer78

veganrun wrote: »

Yeah it's not great. The only good thing to come from it is that I've zero appetite now. Which is useful as I need to lose weight.

eating is important, particularly good quality foods

Tell me how

veganrun wrote: »

Review is over and it didn't go great. Overall I apparently met my objectives but I've areas to work on and if my performance was the same next year I'd be getting a negative score. They also mentioned there may be an option for me to move into a slightly different role if that is something I'd be interested in.

Overall feeling pretty upset but trying not to show it.

You met your objectives. Well done. Every worthwhile review highlights areas to work on as to not do so would imply that the employee was 100% perfect in every way and no one can be said to achieve that.

veganrun wrote: »

I don't feel like there are any positives. I was left with the thought that if I keep going there way I am, the next review score will be negative, that's what was said effectively.

My feeling is that continuing in my current role is perhaps the not best option. I know I have certain limitations with regards aspects of my job and at moment it seems like that will just continue to stress me, death by a thousand cuts.

Just feeling like s**t now and questioning myself completely.

I think that it is possible that you are negatively projecting what the next review "might" be. It was not said to you, you are concerned that it was implied but I think it's possible that you are being overly harsh on yourself.

Write out the positive things which were said (and I'm willing to bet there were positives said ) and know that they are true.

jezzer

Wanderer78 wrote: »

We really need to stop this wide scale testing of people, humans are not robots, neoclassical theory is a pile of ****e, and you'd be wondering why there's a rise in mental health problems!

Happy New year folks

i totally agree

jezzer

StripedBoxers wrote: »

My anxiety is high today as I'm going for round two of chemo and then I'm getting my hair cut off because it is falling out like mad now.

I hope I don't have a panic attack.

best of luck, hang in there

jezzer

veganrun wrote: »

Review is over and it didn't go great. Overall I apparently met my objectives but I've areas to work on and if my performance was the same next year I'd be getting a negative score. They also mentioned there may be an option for me to move into a slightly different role if that is something I'd be interested in.

Overall feeling pretty upset but trying not to show it.

ok it might not be as bad as you think, firstly you met your objectives so thats positive, the second part is giving you the opportunity throughout the year to bring it up but the important thing is they are giving you another option, is this something you would consider? how do you feel about it?

jezzer

veganrun wrote: »

I don't feel like there are any positives. I was left with the thought that if I keep going there way I am, the next review score will be negative, that's what was said effectively.

My feeling is that continuing in my current role is perhaps the not best option. I know I have certain limitations with regards aspects of my job and at moment it seems like that will just continue to stress me, death by a thousand cuts.

Just feeling like s**t now and questioning myself completely.

the important thing to take here is that your job is causing you stress, so that needs to be addressed, potentially that is why you are not performing as you would like, that means you need to carefully consider the option of a different position they have offered you....possibly your mental health is holding you back somewhat in your job?

the bigger picture here as another poster mentioned, these boxing off and scoring of people is a load of horse****, in my view, people can either do their job or they cant, assessing any deeper is bolloxology, so please try not take it to heart, have a good think about things, the other position or maybe a fresh new start altogether?

veganrun

I'm not sure about the other position. To a certain extent I'm conscious that it might seem like a demotion, it's also not definitely a possibility. However it would allow me to go back to the area I'm more used to but still allow me to do some of the stuff I am currently doing.

I texted a friend and told them all about it and he has made me feel better.

I hate those review b***** as well but it's insidious in most companies. I don't know how to avoid it.

mansize

My anxiety levels through the roof today- FAMILY!!!!

luckily I'm out of this country for a few days

AnneFrank

Hi, is it normal to have up's and downs after starting on anti d's. I started a few months back and was doing pretty well until xmas eve and have started going down again since. The constant negative voice hasn't come back but my mood is awful.Just wondering is this normal it's my first time on them

Tell me how

mansize wrote: »

My anxiety levels through the roof today- FAMILY!!!!

luckily I'm out of this country for a few days

Family, can't live with them, can't live without them. Enjoy the break.

Tell me how

AnneFrank wrote: »

Hi, is it normal to have up's and downs after starting on anti d's. I started a few months back and was doing pretty well until xmas eve and have started going down again since. The constant negative voice hasn't come back but my mood is awful.Just wondering is this normal it's my first time on them

Hi AnneFrank. It can take quite a while to settle on medication but you have been on them for a few months so I wouldn't necessarily say that this is common or to be expected. It is normal for our moods to alter upwards and downwards over extended periods and anyway but I appreciate the way you describe it, it does seem like a persistent slide in to negativity.
Christmas can be a difficult time for a lot of people so this may have added to this in your case.

I would make an appointment to mention it to the Dr who prescribed them and ask for their input and direction.