Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

Thank you so much for your post Lady is a Tramp, it's wonderful when someone comes back with a good story like this..

Hugo Stiglitz

Anyone else here have anger and frustration in addition to their depression? I'm finding mine is becoming more and more noticeable lately.

ivytwine

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Anyone else here have anger and frustration in addition to their depression? I'm finding mine is becoming more and more noticeable lately.

Hugo that's a HUGE thing for me. I get really irritable and hate the kind of person I become when I'm bad. Big hugs to you.

I just want to add, to Lady, I'm so pleased to read your update. You're an inspiration x

mansize

Yes. I'm very irritable and short tempered

mansize

Well done LiAT

Hugo Stiglitz

ivytwine wrote: »

Hugo that's a HUGE thing for me. I get really irritable and hate the kind of person I become when I'm bad. Big hugs to you.

Yeah, it's really magnifying the self hatred here. Feel like I'm going to explode at times.

Gremlinertia

Anger/my temper has been a big issue for me since I can remember.. Even in single digit age I'd get tense and angry at strange and unimportant things.. As i got older it internalised a lot and I've quite a way to go with it.. It's caused all sorts of problems and i have to monitor pretty constantly to be honest.. I think depression is a lot of emotions at times. Sometimes it's no emotion at all.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Anger/my temper has been a big issue for me since I can remember.. Even in single digit age I'd get tense and angry at strange and unimportant things.. As i got older it internalised a lot and I've quite a way to go with it.. It's caused all sorts of problems and i have to monitor pretty constantly to be honest.. I think depression is a lot of emotions at times. Sometimes it's no emotion at all.

Well said as always, G.

Gremlinertia

Prime example, the bus i was on was going way too slow for me, taking the piss in my mind, muscles in shoulders and jaws almost immediately get more tense and it takes a lot to talk myself down.. Ugh.

mansize

I get so irritable by the slightest things, slow people, loud people, people rustling things, its a trigger

may be related to my brain surgery I've heard they are connected

Gremlinertia

I've calmed down now but i know the fallout, i'll be stiff and sore in my neck and upper back for a couple of days.. Of course i'll probably get irritated again a few times overnight because once it has flared up one time it's much closer to the surface.

mansize

I'm very happy with the way I reacted and adapted to forgetting my passport yesterday. I wrote it off as a silly mistake and had a great day in Dublin. Not sure I could have done that a year ago.

That gives me confidence too

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I've calmed down now but i know the fallout, i'll be stiff and sore in my neck and upper back for a couple of days.. Of course i'll probably get irritated again a few times overnight because once it has flared up one time it's much closer to the surface.

That sucks.

mansize wrote: »

I'm very happy with the way I reacted and adapted to forgetting my passport yesterday. I wrote it off as a silly mistake and had a great day in Dublin. Not sure I could have done that a year ago.

That gives me confidence too

Well done! I'd explode with self hating rage if that happened to me.

mansize

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

That sucks.




Well done! I'd explode with self hating rage if that happened to me.

i would have done, but my CBT and meds have me in a good place.

Gremlinertia

Oh yeah, the anger you feel against yourself is really awful. When i hear the saying 'you are your own worst enemy' i always think of internalised anger.

Gremlinertia

Swings and roundabouts my feckin brain is awful some days..

La.de.da

Can't get enough sleep of late. Would sleep the round of the clock if left alone. Trying to find energy to wash is even an effort.


Might go get my bloods checked during the week just to check thyroid levels.

Fighting negative thoughts i.e. I'm so lazy,useless. Looking at stuff that needs doing and I can't do it.

Hugo Stiglitz

La.de.da wrote: »

Can't get enough sleep of late. Would sleep the round of the clock if left alone. Trying to find energy to wash is even an effort.


Might go get my bloods checked during the week just to check thyroid levels.

Fighting negative thoughts i.e. I'm so lazy,useless. Looking at stuff that needs doing and I can't do it.

Sorry to hear that, LDL.

I may or not help you. There's an phone app called H_ _ r that I use from time to time. What it does is sort of make white noise from your surroundings. Even if it only picks up your breathing, it'll turn it into difference sounds. I've found it pretty relaxing.

La.de.da

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear that, LDL.

I may or not help you. There's an phone app called H_ _ r that I use from time to time. What it does is sort of make white noise from your surroundings. Even if it only picks up your breathing, it'll turn it into difference sounds. I've found it pretty relaxing.

Cheers Hugo. I'll try that. Can you send on the site please.

Gremlinertia

Evening folks, how are ye?.

StripedBoxers

Struggling hugely, I'm on the brink of needing medication again for my anxiety/depression.

It's amazing how much cancer can isolate you.

Gremlinertia

Have you brought it up with your doc? There are people who treat people with cancer a bit badly, it's usually their own fear.. You can always chat here..

Hugo Stiglitz

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Struggling hugely, I'm on the brink of needing medication again for my anxiety/depression.

It's amazing how much cancer can isolate you.

So sorry to hear that, Boxers.

I can't even imagine just how bad one's mental health suffers when physically ill.

As Grem says, you're always welcome here.

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Have you brought it up with your doc? There are people who treat people with cancer a bit badly, it's usually their own fear.. You can always chat here..

I mentioned it before so I will speak to them again on Friday when I'm in the hospital.

All my prescriptions have to come from my oncologist for the moment so I'll speak with him and see what he says. I know they expressed concern over me taking more meds (just because I'm on so many alongside chemo as it is) and it was the effect on my liver/kidneys so I was hoping to avoid meds if possible, but I don't think it is possible any longer, my anxiety is up and down, its like a yoyo and I can't get a handle on it.

The past few days my depression has started at me and I can feel myself going on a downward spiral mood-wise if I don't act now.

I attend counselling so maybe I need it weekly rather than fortnightly for the next while.

Gremlinertia

Glad you are seeing them this week anyway.. You are so brave, i really am amazed by how tough some people are when the going gets tough.

StripedBoxers

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Glad you are seeing them this week anyway.. You are so brave, i really am amazed by how tough some people are when the going gets tough.

Me too, I dread every appointment know nearly expecting bad news but this week I'm looking forward to it so I can see discuss my options and see. I might suggest trying weekly counselling instead of fortnightly and see how that works and then if no improvement maybe try medication. I'm on a whole load of stuff so I know they want to limit any other meds I take especially if they are needed over a long period of time.

Thank you, I don't often feel brave. I said to my friends earlier that with cancer you don't have much control over decisions in your life really.

I can't chose not to be sick, tired, not to have treatment, not to be physically exhausted 24/7, etc. you lose a huge amount of control over your life and decisions that affect you and it leaves you in a very vulnerable state and its frightening just how vulnerable you are.

I never realised just how much my cancer and treatment of my cancer would affect my life, not just now, but for the next eighteen months. My tumor was big but in comparison to my body it was small and its scary how something to "small" can have such a huge effect on your life and really alter your life. I never realised just how life altering cancer could and would be.

You hear cancer; you think chemo, surgery, hair loss, sickness, vomiting, tiredness but mostly you hear and think of death. Always.

You rarely hear of the small day-to-day things that affect everything, they really are the worst and most difficult, because they're every day things.

I don't think there are really any words to accurately describe how it is when you're going through something like this, I think the only way to fully understand is go to through it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone at all.

Gremlinertia

Sometimes i can empathise to varying degrees with people, but your experience is way too big for me to begin to understand.. You will be in my thoughts though as you continue treatment.

mansize

Back boxing training- all the endorphins

Hugo Stiglitz

mansize wrote: »

Back boxing training- all the endorphins

You'll be fighting fit in no time!

Trebor176

Hi all, I'm new to the forum. I didn't feel that I needed to consult here, but I just want some advice. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but I do feel that I am displaying some symptoms.

I guess I have always been an anxious sort, such as worrying about small things. But sure, don't we all worry about even the smallest of things now and again?

I like to think that I'm happy enough overall, and I lead an ordinary day-to-day life. I'm 30, I wouldn't be the most sociable person, but it's something I am working SO hard on turning around, but it's not so easy. I haven't been in a relationship before, and have been rejected countless times. The latest, which occurred last year has hit me so hard. I'll get to that in a bit.

I am unhappy in my current job, but have been trying to change roles for a while, and am still trying. My exams could be going better too, but I am trying so hard with those. I am narky first thing in the morning, and am grumpy in work some of the time, which isn't me. I've been like that for a while now.

Getting back to the rejection. I had met a girl on an online dating site some time back, and lost contact with her through no fault of my own. We got back in touch around this time last year, and patched things up. We met at the end of February, finally. We met again at the beginning of March. Although we were going to take things slow, I might have got a bit too close. But, we kissed anyway (she seemed to lean in first). A couple of days after, she rejected me.

The rejection hit me so hard. A lot harder than any other rejection I've experienced, and a few of which I didn't take too well. This, though, has been on another level. I couldn't stop messaging trying to patch things up, or trying to understand things. I ended up getting blocked, of course. She has been on my mind for so long, and still is moreso now having met the couple of times. I can't tell her how I've been feeling of late, but knows how I have felt about her. I can't tell her how low this has made me feel, and the way I felt after being rejected after just two dates is not right!

The night of being rejected, I lost sleep. My appetite was affected. My work suffered, as did my study. Of course, the lack of concentration had a negative impact on my exams. And, this was up to a few months later. Since then, I have struggled to get over her. I just can't, though, and in the last couple of days, it's hit me again big time! I know it will just take someone else to come into my life before I can fully get over this girl. And, someone did recently, very briefly, but it fizzled out quickly, and, I was fine!

Perhaps the rejection issue doesn't belong here. Maybe it makes me look silly, considering how badly I took it. Even she was shocked. My behaviour towards her has been inexcusable. When I tried explaining all this, she blocked me, which didn't help things at all. She's certainly leading her life to the full anyway. I've just had this feeling of inadequacy. I felt so happy that she was interested in me, or so I thought. Mutual interest isn't common from experience. So, to be rejected hurt. I feel inadequate because I know she is going to meet someone better than me. She said I would meet someone better, but it won't be any time soon, knowing my luck. Though, I guess being rejected so much does make me feel inadequate. I know I have a lot of good to offer, but it's obviously not enough!


I am always up for a gathering of some sort, which are few and far between, whether they be family gatherings, out with some friends or work gatherings. I have no trouble getting on with people, though, and I am respected.

I have tried online 'listeners,' rather than counsellors. I don't feel that I am in a bad enough way to talk to one. I do feel that I need to chat to someone, though, or some, who may be in a similar boat to me. I know that those of you suffering from depression may be able to help me. I don't want to worry any members of my family. One does know of my rejection, though, and how it made me feel in the beginning. But, I don't like to go on too much!

Maybe it's the stresses of work and college that are getting to me, and it resulted in my reaction towards the rejection. I have got over previous ones, but some took a few weeks or months. The latest still hurts almost a year on. So, feeling low and inadequate between what happened, and not succeeding as well as I would like with my studies and career could be a sign that I'm depressed? I was diagnosed with Crohn's nearly 10 years ago, and I know depression can be a symptom. Sorry for the long post!