Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

AnneFrank

Crazy we all do the same, i really cant take a compliment at all i just feel it's bull,
and just feel i don't deserve anything good, because of x y and z in the past.
So everytime i go out,my personality is like an act. Like you say Hugo, it really is exhausting

Bracken3000

AnneFrank wrote:

Crazy we all do the same, i really cant take a compliment at all i just feel it's bull, and just feel i don't deserve anything good, because of x y and z in the past. So everytime i go out,my personality is like an act. Like you say Hugo, it really is exhausting

A mental marathon, I've been this doing so long now, it white noise to me now.
And what you think is your safe place to rest ends up being your prison.

milli milli

Hi guys, just thought I'd say hello.
Have had depression since my teenage years. It continued through my 20s and 30s and thought it would be something I'd grow out of, since I tried to manage it with exercise and positive thinking.
But as you all know it doesn't really work that way.
At the moment I'm quite happy but with depression, I take it one day at a time. It's quite hard to know how you will feel or what will trigger an episode and I've already had an episode this year so I just never know, hence the 'one day at a time.'

I've been on anti-depressants in the past but they were really bad news and were so hard to come off. I'm glad to be off them to be honest.

I haven't read this entire thread but do agree about alcohol - I've effectively given it up. I'll have the odd glass of wine but it's not worth the feelings the next day - just adding fuel to the fire.

Anyway I'm self-employed and my whole business has a very 'happy' vibe so depression doesn't really fit in with its ethos. It can be quite hard to keep it going when I have an episode. Just one of the challenges.
Also I tend to tell people I have the flu when I can't get out of bed. There's still quite a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues.
Ok just wanted to add my experience.
There's a lot more of course and some really dark times that I'd rather not talk about.

Anyway I hope we all can find ways to navigate the rough terrain

Hugo Stiglitz

milli milli wrote: »

Hi guys, just thought I'd say hello.
Have had depression since my teenage years. It continued through my 20s and 30s and thought it would be something I'd grow out of, since I tried to manage it with exercise and positive thinking.
But as you all know it doesn't really work that way.
At the moment I'm quite happy but with depression, I take it one day at a time. It's quite hard to know how you will feel or what will trigger an episode and I've already had an episode this year so I just never know, hence the 'one day at a time.'

I've been on anti-depressants in the past but they were really bad news and were so hard to come off. I'm glad to be off them to be honest.

I haven't read this entire thread but do agree about alcohol - I've effectively given it up. I'll have the odd glass of wine but it's not worth the feelings the next day - just adding fuel to the fire.

Anyway I'm self-employed and my whole business has a very 'happy' vibe so depression doesn't really fit in with its ethos. It can be quite hard to keep it going when I have an episode. Just one of the challenges.
Also I tend to tell people I have the flu when I can't get out of bed. There's still quite a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues.
Ok just wanted to add my experience.
There's a lot more of course and some really dark times that I'd rather not talk about.

Anyway I hope we all can find ways to navigate the rough terrain

Welcome to the thread.

milli milli

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Welcome to the thread.

Thanks Hugo!

weirdspider

milli milli wrote: »

Hi guys, just thought I'd say hello.
Have had depression since my teenage years. It continued through my 20s and 30s and thought it would be something I'd grow out of, since I tried to manage it with exercise and positive thinking.
But as you all know it doesn't really work that way.
At the moment I'm quite happy but with depression, I take it one day at a time. It's quite hard to know how you will feel or what will trigger an episode and I've already had an episode this year so I just never know, hence the 'one day at a time.'

I've been on anti-depressants in the past but they were really bad news and were so hard to come off. I'm glad to be off them to be honest.

I haven't read this entire thread but do agree about alcohol - I've effectively given it up. I'll have the odd glass of wine but it's not worth the feelings the next day - just adding fuel to the fire.

Anyway I'm self-employed and my whole business has a very 'happy' vibe so depression doesn't really fit in with its ethos. It can be quite hard to keep it going when I have an episode. Just one of the challenges.
Also I tend to tell people I have the flu when I can't get out of bed. There's still quite a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues.
Ok just wanted to add my experience.
There's a lot more of course and some really dark times that I'd rather not talk about.

Anyway I hope we all can find ways to navigate the rough terrain

Fair play coming off the antidepressants. It's not easy, I have tried and failed. Any tips?

Gremlinertia

Welcome to the thread milli, sounds like you'll find people with similar thoughts, worries and tips..
Having a rough enough time still here.. Lot of rumination back with me because of time off work.. Battling well so far I think but hope I'm back at work sooner rather than later.

MadamRazz

Hi there.
I was so happy when I found this thread. Its taken me over a week to read through everything.
I was diagnosed with depressed in my late teens, I thought I had it under control for a few years but then it just slammed back again a few years ago (I'm mid 30s now) not helped by the situation I was living in. Living in a foreign country, having language difficulties, missing my family etc that it got to the point I was afraid to leave the house. If I went out I started having panic attacks which would make me scratch at myself and make people stare.
Finally back in Ireland and getting things under control again. Still have my days were I cant get out of bed or absolutely despise myself. Most of the time I dont understand why my partner stays with me cause he could do so much better. Same with my friends, cant understand why any of them waste their time with me.
And reading back over this, it all seems so trivial and whiney. So sorry about that.

annejohn91

Hi All

I have been googling like crazy this morning about anxiety. All my life I thought I was just a worrier but since my 20s (25 now) I have felt it get worse. I panic over the smallest thing and think the worst outcome. I keep telling myself "sure it only happens once every 2 weeks or so". However, it is affecting my relationship with my bf and also my family.

I have been given an ultimatum to get this sorted by my bf and my sister, I know I should want to do it for myself but I keep thinking its normal to act like this from time to time. My sister is on anti-depressants for her anxiety but I really don't want to go down that route as she has become so unemotional and I can tell how badly the pills affect her when she doesn't take them. Don't get me wrong, her life is so much better now but I want to know has counselling on its own helped people? I have booked myself in for a consultation with a Psychologist. I honestly don't believe in talking about my feelings with the hope that life will eventually get better but what other choice do I have.

Thanks

Tell me how

annejohn91 wrote:

Hi All

Hi annejohn91

I deal with depression more so than anxiety so wouldn't really comment too much on that.

What I did want to say is, don't do anything because of "an ultimatum".
I'm sure your bf and sister care for you but giving someone an ultimatum is implying that their behaviour is the source of the problem.

My tuppence worth, good counselling helps nearly every situation but only when it's being done for the right reasons.

Learning to accept anxiety as part of your life and something that can be managed and that it does not have to be too debilitating could help with a large amount of your problems.

Lady is a tramp

I'm bracing myself for the funeral services of a close family friend who took her own life. Removal tonight, funeral tomorrow.

I'm also so grateful that, these last few days, I've been able to be really present and really THERE as a support to her family.

I feel the girl is at peace now. I'm so sad for her family though. It's very awful.

trixychic

annejohn91 wrote: »

Hi All

I have been googling like crazy this morning about anxiety. All my life I thought I was just a worrier but since my 20s (25 now) I have felt it get worse. I panic over the smallest thing and think the worst outcome. I keep telling myself "sure it only happens once every 2 weeks or so". However, it is affecting my relationship with my bf and also my family.

I have been given an ultimatum to get this sorted by my bf and my sister, I know I should want to do it for myself but I keep thinking its normal to act like this from time to time. My sister is on anti-depressants for her anxiety but I really don't want to go down that route as she has become so unemotional and I can tell how badly the pills affect her when she doesn't take them. Don't get me wrong, her life is so much better now but I want to know has counselling on its own helped people? I have booked myself in for a consultation with a Psychologist. I honestly don't believe in talking about my feelings with the hope that life will eventually get better but what other choice do I have.

Thanks

Hi there. I have generalised anxiety disorder or GAD. It means I literally worry about everything and anything but it can get quite bad. I get anxiety attacks more then panic attacks.

I'm also on medication but they are SSRI'a and you can ask anyone I'm just as crazy as ever. It actually helps to be on them causeI can put the worries to the back of my mind for once.

And yes it is normal for people to worry but there's a stage that it goes from normal to needing help. If it's effecting your relationship with others then it might be worth exploring.

You can tell them that you don't want to talk "feelings". My last few visits haven't included much feeling talk at all. It's all been about what my worries are, when they occur and what i try to do to stop them. They might recommend some cent classes which is like a lecture thing or some mindfulness classes. But you don't need to do the touch feely stuff at all.

Look its worth giving it a go at this stage. I hope get things sorted for you.

milli milli

weirdspider wrote: »

Fair play coming off the antidepressants. It's not easy, I have tried and failed. Any tips?

To be honest it was really difficult. I tried a couple of times but the withdrawal was just horrible.
I wasn't taking them correctly and was getting the 'electric shock' feelings and anxiety from them so I didn't want to be on them anymore.
It's been a long time since I came off them so don't remember exactly but I just cut way down - think I might have taken half a pill every day, then every second day, just generally weening myself off them.
Also at the time I was really fit - I was doing kickboxing 2-3 times a week, cycled every day to work and my job was also quite active. I think just by doing lots of exercise, I would get a natural high and this really helped my mood.
Exercise is just amazing for feeling good.

I know some times it's hard to get out of bed, believe me, I know how hard it is to even breathe at times. But I would definitely recommend fresh air and exercise (also if you do a group activity, or something really fun like dancing).

Trebor176

I came across this article on Facebook. I'm sure many of us can relate to it! Certainly, most of those pointers are what I experience a lot.

http://curiousmindmagazine.com/11-things-anxious-person-understand/

mg1982

Trebor176 wrote: »

I came across this article on Facebook. I'm sure many of us can relate to it! Certainly, most of those pointers are what I experience a lot.

http://curiousmindmagazine.com/11-things-anxious-person-understand/

That really covers a lot of things i experience with anxiety as well treb.

Something else im noticing in recent years is physical symptoms like exhaustion joint pain and constantly feeling like i have a flu or something. I guess it could be down to years chronic anxiety it must eventually start effecting the body physically.

Hugo Stiglitz

Trebor176 wrote: »

I came across this article on Facebook. I'm sure many of us can relate to it! Certainly, most of those pointers are what I experience a lot.

http://curiousmindmagazine.com/11-things-anxious-person-understand/

Good share there, T mon.

I was aware of some, not of others though. Food for thought.

weirdspider

milli milli wrote: »

To be honest it was really difficult. I tried a couple of times but the withdrawal was just horrible.
I wasn't taking them correctly and was getting the 'electric shock' feelings and anxiety from them so I didn't want to be on them anymore.
It's been a long time since I came off them so don't remember exactly but I just cut way down - think I might have taken half a pill every day, then every second day, just generally weening myself off them.
Also at the time I was really fit - I was doing kickboxing 2-3 times a week, cycled every day to work and my job was also quite active. I think just by doing lots of exercise, I would get a natural high and this really helped my mood.
Exercise is just amazing for feeling good.

I know some times it's hard to get out of bed, believe me, I know how hard it is to even breathe at times. But I would definitely recommend fresh air and exercise (also if you do a group activity, or something really fun like dancing).

Thanks milli. They are giving me bad side effects and after taking them for 6 months I think they've stopped working. Feel absolutely miserable and unmotivated. Couldn't sleep at all last night (since the tablets are giving me insomnia) and ended up sleeping in and now I'm missing college. I envy anyone without this illness I really do.

Lady is a tramp

AnneFrank wrote: »

Jesus this has surprised me alot, it's like reading my life for the last ten years,
i thought it was depression that i had but perhaps it's extreme anxiety,
i have started taking sertraline for the last 4 months and while i have leveled out to some extent i'm still far from being myself or capable of any sort of relationship, i'm male by the way ! I am due back to my doctor in a month i wonder is there any other medication i should be on from anyones experience ?
I also gave up self medicating myself with grass in september which i had been using for 20 odd years, i believe the come down from that also didn't help but i'm over it now and would advise anyone in the same situation to cut it out, i wish i had years ago

What dose of Sertraline are you on? My psychiatrist (who is really really really high up in her field!) says that Sertraline is absolutely THE best available for treating anxiety where depression isn't an issue as well.

For me what has worked is really putting a LOT of time and energy and effort and research into mindfulness. I've done some DBT and CBT as well, along with lots of counselling etc with a fantastic counsellor.

Now the above is exactly the advice I would NOT have wanted in the past. I've always wanted that magic tablet that'll just fix it all today. (I actually begged my psychiatrist for benzos "just in case I really need them", she laughed at me and said not a hope! I have a history of alcoholism, so should have known better than to even ask for anything addictive!) The progress I've made in the past several months is just unbelievable though, and in fact I've come off all medication now since before Christmas and am still doing well.

So you know, you're not talking about sacrificing years of your life to this airy-fairy mindfulness/talk-therapy stuff. You're talking about committing some time (weeks/months) to learning the techniques, practicing them, and then implementing them in your life. I didn't know, say, last summer that any of the work I started on myself would actually get the results that I've achieved. I just had to take it on faith and do the work without questioning it every step of the way. And I find it amazing now how well I can manage the anxiety and panic when it does arise, and knowing that in turn seems to make it happen less and less often.

Man on Fire

Hi Guys... taught id give this a go to see can i get any tips off people who are goin thru the same stuff with me.... Have depression on and off since im 18 now 32.... getting panic attacks the odd time since then i seem to know how to handle them but the last week or so has being a different story.. im grand all day but once i go to bed the fun starts lol ie a panic attack occurs and then when it passes im ok, just wondering has any one any tips..... i go the gym in the evenings to tire myself out but then still occur... i was on anti depressiants years ago i dont think i need them ,i remember they gave me xanax to help me sleep.... so dunno wether to go the doctor or not... all in all im feeling good

Gremlinertia

Man on Fire wrote: »

Hi Guys... taught id give this a go to see can i get any tips off people who are goin thru the same stuff with me.... Have depression on and off since im 18 now 32.... getting panic attacks the odd time since then i seem to know how to handle them but the last week or so has being a different story.. im grand all day but once i go to bed the fun starts lol ie a panic attack occurs and then when it passes im ok, just wondering has any one any tips..... i go the gym in the evenings to tire myself out but then still occur... i was on anti depressiants years ago i dont think i need them ,i remember they gave me xanax to help me sleep.... so dunno wether to go the doctor or not... all in all im feeling good

I'd definitely go for the doc, i'd guess you are missing some sleep so tiredness will hit you hard and it would be a good idea to get it looked at sooner rather than later.

milli milli

weirdspider wrote: »

Thanks milli. They are giving me bad side effects and after taking them for 6 months I think they've stopped working. Feel absolutely miserable and unmotivated. Couldn't sleep at all last night (since the tablets are giving me insomnia) and ended up sleeping in and now I'm missing college. I envy anyone without this illness I really do.

A friend of mine has anxiety. The last time I was talking to her, the doctor gave her Vitamin B12 shots and she said she felt amazing.
I was just reading there that it's also used to treat depression. I wonder would your doctor prescribe some for you?
You'll need to chat to your doctor anyway about the pills.

The last few days I was feeling lousy. Found it hard to get up. I was reading up on what to do when you can't get out of bed and one professional (who suffers from depression) said, she just does things in stages. She will get herself up and see how she is. Then if she's up to it, she'll take a shower. Afterwards she'll eat and then if she feels like it, she might clean the kitchen. Just little steps.
Eventually she'll find, she can take the train/bus to work. She says to herself, now if I don't feel like it, I don't have to go into work, when I'm there.
The little stages helps to break down what can seem overwhelming.

I actually find doing housework kind of helps. I'm not a big lover of housework but I find it gives me something to do and I feel productive. When you're depressed and doing nothing you end up feeling guilty for wasting time.

Yesterday I had a bit of a cry, got up later than I should, but had a little chat with my mum and she was rearranging her kitchen so I offered to help her. Then that got me motivated, so I came back home and did some work. (I'm lucky I work from home.) I felt like I had achieved something. I recently painted my kitchen and it makes me happy whenever I go into it, so that helps my mood.

Then I put on some uplifting music, and got ready to go to my yoga class. I ended up having a nice day. I just HAD to get out of bed to do that.
Of course there's days I get up and have to go back to bed, I just feel so bad.
But just getting out of bed can make a difference.

MadamRazz

Has anybody tried those new stress cubes that are out? When I start getting anxious, I fidget and scratch so I'm tempted to give them a go.

I have started seeing a therapist who is all about self preservation. Its taken a lot of effort but I have tried it a few times. The guilt I felt after the first one or two times was almost crippling. I was such a horrible and selfish person. But after a hot chocolate and a lot of encouragement from my partner I did start getting over it. Its still hard to do but the relief that I feel when I've said no was absolutely shocking. I used to always give in to my mother and do what she wanted to do, and after a few hours with her, when I went home I would have to go to bed and cry most of the time. But now I see her when its suitable and once I feel myself start to get on edge, I leave. Yes she got snotty with me but I stood my ground.

Since I have started seeing someone, and actually talking about issues, I cant believe how stupid I have been a lot of the time. I've started enjoying the little things, like just being on the couch with the pets (partner included), or how much I love my pillow. It might just be that I've finally found the right balance of my anti-depressants but I'm definitely having some more level moments and actually feeling things. Its been almost 2 weeks since I've had a numb day. And yes, the other night I had a bit of a cry but thats ok....I think...no no definitely ok.

And I am going to avoid the urge to apologise for bothering everyone.

Hugo Stiglitz

I'm always so excited for the weekend to arrive but when it does, I just get numb and down.

Tell me how

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

I'm always so excited for the weekend to arrive but when it does, I just get numb and down.

For a long time, the hardest 2 hours of the week for me were 14:00 to 16:00 on Friday. Everyone would be winding down and looking forward to the weekend, talking about their plans and leaving early. I used to feel so inferior.

Hugo Stiglitz

Tell me how wrote: »

For a long time, the hardest 2 hours of the week for me were 14:00 to 16:00 on Friday. Everyone would be winding down and looking forward to the weekend, talking about their plans and leaving early. I used to feel so inferior.

Not happy during the week, not happy at the weekend. Hate this.

Professor Moriarty

milli milli wrote: »

A friend of mine has anxiety. The last time I was talking to her, the doctor gave her Vitamin B12 shots and she said she felt amazing.
I was just reading there that it's also used to treat depression. I wonder would your doctor prescribe some for you?
You'll need to chat to your doctor anyway about the pills.

The last few days I was feeling lousy. Found it hard to get up. I was reading up on what to do when you can't get out of bed and one professional (who suffers from depression) said, she just does things in stages. She will get herself up and see how she is. Then if she's up to it, she'll take a shower. Afterwards she'll eat and then if she feels like it, she might clean the kitchen. Just little steps.
Eventually she'll find, she can take the train/bus to work. She says to herself, now if I don't feel like it, I don't have to go into work, when I'm there.
The little stages helps to break down what can seem overwhelming.

I actually find doing housework kind of helps. I'm not a big lover of housework but I find it gives me something to do and I feel productive. When you're depressed and doing nothing you end up feeling guilty for wasting time.

Yesterday I had a bit of a cry, got up later than I should, but had a little chat with my mum and she was rearranging her kitchen so I offered to help her. Then that got me motivated, so I came back home and did some work. (I'm lucky I work from home.) I felt like I had achieved something. I recently painted my kitchen and it makes me happy whenever I go into it, so that helps my mood.

Then I put on some uplifting music, and got ready to go to my yoga class. I ended up having a nice day. I just HAD to get out of bed to do that.
Of course there's days I get up and have to go back to bed, I just feel so bad.
But just getting out of bed can make a difference.

Fadó, depression was known as taking to the bed. One important rule to live by. Even though the mind and body is soaked with negativity; get up, dress up, show up.

weirdspider

Professor Moriarty wrote: »

Fadó, depression was known as taking to the bed. One important rule to live by. Even though the mind and body is soaked with negativity; get up, dress up, show up.

Sometimes the thought of forcing myself to do things like studying makes me nauseous. So I refrain from leaving my bed. Feels like weights are pulling me down. Easy to say "get up, dress up, show up", but can be so very difficult and seemingly impossible to do at the worst of times.

weirdspider

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm always so excited for the weekend to arrive but when it does, I just get numb and down.

Worst is when you are spending the weekend alone. Depression is like a vicious circle. You have hardly any friends because you are too depressed to socialise but then the consequential loneliness makes you feel even worse again.

Hugo Stiglitz

weirdspider wrote: »

Worst is when you are spending the weekend alone. Depression is like a vicious circle. You have hardly any friends because you are too depressed to socialise but then the consequential loneliness makes you feel even worse again.

Well said. The last sentence is basically me.

Gremlinertia

Same here, so many things i could go to but can't because i get anxious that everyone will be staring even though my logical mind knows that's not happening. Then if i do make it to whatever event/thing i often sneak off early.