Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

RubyXI

Is there any escape from this anxiety? I am lying in bed and should be totally relaxed but I can feel my heart racing. I can feel the pressure in my head. I try to tell myself to just stop it. It's a thought process. Why can't i control my own thoughts? Why do I get so worked up about things that really don't matter. I don't think it will ever end. The cycle will never break. It's so hard to live like this.

Tell me how

phi3 wrote:

Is there any escape from this anxiety? I am lying in bed and should be totally relaxed but I can feel my heart racing. I can feel the pressure in my head. I try to tell myself to just stop it. It's a thought process. Why can't i control my own thoughts? Why do I get so worked up about things that really don't matter. I don't think it will ever end. The cycle will never break. It's so hard to live like this.

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Maybe try write a few lines of what's going on in your head and put a heading at the top saying "will think about on Monday".

I'm not trying to be funny, I'm not saying it'll work but it might trick your brain in to stopping ruminating right now.

Tell me how

Feeling quite sad this evening/tonight.
A pensive mind can be troublesome at times.

Graces7

Just been reading back a way here.

My experience was all so different from what you seek and have in the way of treatment and help.

Back in the 70s in the uk... no counselling. Meds was all. repeat prescrips with no consultation, and hospital if it got bad. More meds.. warehousing in effect and no counselling .

With me, it was all a misdiagnosis which was perpetuated by each GP reading and believing what the previous one had said and prescribing the same or adding to it.

The only reason i finally got the correct diagnosis was a GP who was trying to prove was faking everything. Chanced on a consultant who had some inkling.

I was on benzoz and antids and much else.

One reason I am writing this is something I think BOO! said re being on edge all the time?

For years after getting off meds my adrenaline responses were way out of kilter. The least noise and I was jumping sky high. Never seen this listed anywhere. Still bad with sudden loud noise and have adapted my environment.

I know this happens with eg PTSD sufferers ? And that applies to me also

I did approach someone re counselling many years ago, but it seemed so .. artifiical and.. clinical... and bored!!

And i now have someone who I can turn to whatever who has helped me more than any professional ever did and that is sometimes mutual. Through my faith situation.

I have M.E and a lot of collateral damage due to the wrong drug treatment; I now have the courage to say NO when that is needful.

But unlike so many of you, I am way past retirement and need not earn my living or prove to drs that I am too sick to work . My birthdate is incontestable!

The world all of you are living in is a very different one from mine in those years. There were then the huge mental hospitals that have gone now and admission was common for many wrong things... People were "put away" at the drop of a hat.

Many of the drugs used then have been banned now and ECT was common with no choice.

It is worth the struggles I see here for that freedom. It really is. Be sure of that and fight on.

Blessings and peace from a very tired old one! who treasures life hugely and celebrates each small thing .

weirdspider

Graces7 wrote: »

Just been reading back a way here.

My experience was all so different from what you seek and have in the way of treatment and help.

Back in the 70s in the uk... no counselling. Meds was all. repeat prescrips with no consultation, and hospital if it got bad. More meds.. warehousing in effect and no counselling .

With me, it was all a misdiagnosis which was perpetuated by each GP reading and believing what the previous one had said and prescribing the same or adding to it.

The only reason i finally got the correct diagnosis was a GP who was trying to prove was faking everything. Chanced on a consultant who had some inkling.

I was on benzoz and antids and much else.

One reason I am writing this is something I think BOO! said re being on edge all the time?

For years after getting off meds my adrenaline responses were way out of kilter. The least noise and I was jumping sky high. Never seen this listed anywhere. Still bad with sudden loud noise and have adapted my environment.

I know this happens with eg PTSD sufferers ? And that applies to me also

I did approach someone re counselling many years ago, but it seemed so .. artifiical and.. clinical... and bored!!

And i now have someone who I can turn to whatever who has helped me more than any professional ever did and that is sometimes mutual. Through my faith situation.

I have M.E and a lot of collateral damage due to the wrong drug treatment; I now have the courage to say NO when that is needful.

But unlike so many of you, I am way past retirement and need not earn my living or prove to drs that I am too sick to work . My birthdate is incontestable!

The world all of you are living in is a very different one from mine in those years. There were then the huge mental hospitals that have gone now and admission was common for many wrong things... People were "put away" at the drop of a hat.

Many of the drugs used then have been banned now and ECT was common with no choice.

It is worth the struggles I see here for that freedom. It really is. Be sure of that and fight on.

Blessings and peace from a very tired old one! who treasures life hugely and celebrates each small thing .

Thanks Grace for your insightful post. It's always fascinating to hear how mental health was dealt with years ago and although we still have quite a way to go, thank goodness so much has changed for the better in such a short space of time.

Graces7

weirdspider wrote: »

Thanks Grace for your insightful post. It's always fascinating to hear how mental health was dealt with years ago and although we still have quite a way to go, thank goodness so much has changed for the better in such a short space of time.

Thanks, It was really.... punitive, as if it was our fault. Given that the whole thing was a misdiagnosis in my case?

But punitive and judged.

LegacyUser

I'm fairly active on the work & jobs forum so I want to stay unreg for this.

I've never started a job and had to tell them that I have GAD & depression but now because of a sequence of events I haven't had a full time job since 2013 apart from short contracts and it's left my CV with big gaps.

I'm just wondering how or if any of you have interviewed and said mental health was the reason for the gaps? I'm just so terrified I won't get the job or if I do get the job that I'll be stigmatized and it will make me more vulnerable and worsen my anxiety.

So stressed out with this, my money situation is out of control, and bills are piling up so I need the job. I'm getting panic attacks more frequently aswell so I'm going to have to get some valium to even get through the interview.

norwegianwood

My job is making me completely miserable and accentuating all the mental health problems I have..I just realised that I spent years in college training for a career I have no interest in or aptitude for and I have no idea what to do next.

Wanderer78

norwegianwood wrote:

My job is making me completely miserable and accentuating all the mental health problems I have..I just realised that I spent years in college training for a career I have no interest in or aptitude for and I have no idea what to do next.

If you can afford it, you might be eligible for 'illness benefit', you will be guaranteed the dole. This might give you some time and space to decide your future.

mickstupp

I haven't been able to leave my house in days.
f*ckyouanxietyihateyousomuch

Graces7

mickstupp wrote: »

I haven't been able to leave my house in days.
f*ckyouanxietyihateyousomuch

small tip that works for some. Try a short walk after dark.

mickstupp

Graces7 wrote: »

small tip that works for some. Try a short walk after dark.

I will try this! It's easier when the world seems smaller.

Gremlinertia

I'm such a mess right now. Stress in particular has almost immobilised me.. Too many things thrown at me lately.. I trust that I'll get through but I'm scared.. Sorry for the rant..

trixychic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm such a mess right now. Stress in particular has almost immobilised me.. Too many things thrown at me lately.. I trust that I'll get through but I'm scared.. Sorry for the rant..

Oh Grem that's hard. It sounds like you've alot on your shoulders too. I hope your ok.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever gonna just be able to sit down and feel content and happy. Son has aspergers and I'm fighting so hard to get him all he needs. Younger sons birthday is coming soon so I've that to deal with.

It just feels like it never stops!!! Even at night my dreams are filled with worries and stress. I'm right now sitting on my couch, the house is an absolute state (can't remember the last time I mopped) I the dishwasher is clean but not empty, the sink is full of dirty dishes, the clothes are all lying in piles on my bedroom floor and I have paperwork to sort and fill out.

My head is in a total foggy mist. I'm getting stress aches and pains. I'm crying at nothing, i want to curl up on a ball and just leave the world behind!!!!

And I still have to do my boys dinner cause they are hungry. But I cant seem to bring myself to get up and do it. I'm thinking of just getting take away but i seem to be doing that alot lately.

I mean how are my boys meant to grow up with good eating habits and good house keeping habits if I'm always in this mess??

God I sound so very "woe is me". Sorry guys.

Tell me how

See you posted yesterday Grem. Hopefully things are better today.

Hopefully you and your family enjoy your sons birthday Trixychic.

weirdspider

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm such a mess right now. Stress in particular has almost immobilised me.. Too many things thrown at me lately.. I trust that I'll get through but I'm scared.. Sorry for the rant..

Hope everything works out Gremlinertia x

Graces7

mickstupp wrote: »

I will try this! It's easier when the world seems smaller.

BIG SMILE here! I learned that the hard way...

I was misdiagnosed as being agoraphobic , you see. In fact I was just so ill I dreaded going out ,and when it is dark it is so much easier.

Good luck and enjoy the stars.

Graces7

trixychic wrote: »

Oh Grem that's hard. It sounds like you've alot on your shoulders too. I hope your ok.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever gonna just be able to sit down and feel content and happy. Son has aspergers and I'm fighting so hard to get him all he needs. Younger sons birthday is coming soon so I've that to deal with.

It just feels like it never stops!!! Even at night my dreams are filled with worries and stress. I'm right now sitting on my couch, the house is an absolute state (can't remember the last time I mopped) I the dishwasher is clean but not empty, the sink is full of dirty dishes, the clothes are all lying in piles on my bedroom floor and I have paperwork to sort and fill out.

My head is in a total foggy mist. I'm getting stress aches and pains. I'm crying at nothing, i want to curl up on a ball and just leave the world behind!!!!

And I still have to do my boys dinner cause they are hungry. But I cant seem to bring myself to get up and do it. I'm thinking of just getting take away but i seem to be doing that alot lately.

I mean how are my boys meant to grow up with good eating habits and good house keeping habits if I'm always in this mess??

God I sound so very "woe is me". Sorry guys.

No idea if this is feasible, but is there any way you can get outside help to get on top of the housework?

For a while i had this. A home help ... she would come in and quietly clear the sink of dishes.

One job at a time. Just one small task.

My slow cooker helped too. Meant I could start a meal hours before it was needed .

You need and deserve to succeed at even one job..

RubyXI

Proud moments today.
1. Managed to approach someone and ask them the price of something and purchase the item
2. Asked someone to drive me home because there's no buses.
Feel a bit dizzy and sick after doing it. But i did it.
It's the little things.....

Lady is a tramp

Another marathon session with my counsellor today. And another one planned for tomorrow. The woman is an absolute saint. I'd be so lost without her.

Something she asked me today, that had me a bit stumped. She asked me, "What is it you want from life?" It's actually a really good question, and I'm going to work on it tonight to clarify it for myself. I know what she's getting at. I'm losing focus and losing perspective a bit, with regard to my recovery, to why I actually ever wanted to get better. I need to figure it out so I can aim towards it, and get that bit of direction and forward momentum going again.

Any thoughts on that question yourselves, in your own lives? See, essentially I think it's probably a common problem for a lot of us ... that we mightn't be entirely sure of what it is we want from life, but we do know that it's more than this. Something better, something different, something more ...

Gratitude is the other thing she wants me to work on tonight. And it's true! I'm very negative lately, I really need to stop taking the good things in my life for granted.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm such a mess right now. Stress in particular has almost immobilised me.. Too many things thrown at me lately.. I trust that I'll get through but I'm scared.. Sorry for the rant..

Never apologise for a rant, G.

I hope things have improved there now. x

Ray37

New poster here, think this thread will be a good place for me  History of OCD/anxiety, I have always been a 'worrier', since being a small child. I am a 26 year old female living abroad. Hope it's ok posing in here? I am on sertraline for the past 6 years or so, I began this first aged 14 but didnt stay on it long. Generally OCD has been fine, though I do tend to obsess over small things/what ifs, and end up losing my temper very quickly (resulting in bruising my hand twice in the past 2 weeks from exploding in anger and punching a door and wall). Finding living away quite tough at times, as I miss my life in Ireland, and have a lot more time on my hands to ruminate on worries etc. Living with my boyfriend who (unfairly) gets the brunt of my temper tantrums. I find I tend to scream and shout more than becoming introverted and depressed when I'm down..... Not sure which is worse TBH.

Hugo Stiglitz

Ray37 wrote: »

New poster here, think this thread will be a good place for me  History of OCD/anxiety, I have always been a 'worrier', since being a small child. I am a 26 year old female living abroad. Hope it's ok posing in here? I am on sertraline for the past 6 years or so, I began this first aged 14 but didnt stay on it long. Generally OCD has been fine, though I do tend to obsess over small things/what ifs, and end up losing my temper very quickly (resulting in bruising my hand twice in the past 2 weeks from exploding in anger and punching a door and wall). Finding living away quite tough at times, as I miss my life in Ireland, and have a lot more time on my hands to ruminate on worries etc. Living with my boyfriend who (unfairly) gets the brunt of my temper tantrums. I find I tend to scream and shout more than becoming introverted and depressed when I'm down..... Not sure which is worse TBH.

Welcome to the thread, Ray.

Tell me how

Welcome Ray37.

Ray37

Ray37 wrote: »

New poster here, think this thread will be a good place for me  History of OCD/anxiety, I have always been a 'worrier', since being a small child. I am a 26 year old female living abroad. Hope it's ok posing in here? I am on sertraline for the past 6 years or so, I began this first aged 14 but didnt stay on it long. Generally OCD has been fine, though I do tend to obsess over small things/what ifs, and end up losing my temper very quickly (resulting in bruising my hand twice in the past 2 weeks from exploding in anger and punching a door and wall). Finding living away quite tough at times, as I miss my life in Ireland, and have a lot more time on my hands to ruminate on worries etc. Living with my boyfriend who (unfairly) gets the brunt of my temper tantrums. I find I tend to scream and shout more than becoming introverted and depressed when I'm down..... Not sure which is worse TBH.

Thank you for the kind welcome guys  I have recently been having these weird feelings, almost like a premonition, that I am going to get very seriously ill, and die young. I don't understand it, but it comes into my mind so clearly that it feels like it is actually happening. I've also been having dreams of the same things happening. It's so eerie and realistic. Maybe it's my stress levels being elevated that are causing it, does anyone else experience similar feelings??

Graces7

Ray37 wrote: »

Thank you for the kind welcome guys  I have recently been having these weird feelings, almost like a premonition, that I am going to get very seriously ill, and die young. I don't understand it, but it comes into my mind so clearly that it feels like it is actually happening. I've also been having dreams of the same things happening. It's so eerie and realistic. Maybe it's my stress levels being elevated that are causing it, does anyone else experience similar feelings??

Ignore that! It is a delusion . Lived with that for years . All false. Please be assured of that? OK? OK!

And try not to overthink these things
Physical exercise will help

PS no longer have this. When I realised it was just a delusion it dissipated.

PPS. with me some of it was a side effect of meds. Benzos especially,

tara73

hey guys, after more than two years of suffering with pain and for the last year also joint pain, I have most probably lyme disease.
Additionally to the depression which haunts me for the last years, this diagnosis sends me even more downhill with constant panic attacks and anxiety the whole day. The feeling it will never go away...Can't work so sitting at home is not doing any good to it neither.

Maybe I can get/give a little support here I thought and it's good to read not to be the only one feeling desperate.thanks

Gremlinertia

Welcome to the thread Tara, posting here has always helped get a little bit off my chest, hope it's the same for you.

tara73

thanks Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz

tara73 wrote: »

hey guys, after more than two years of suffering with pain and for the last year also joint pain, I have most probably lyme disease.
Additionally to the depression which haunts me for the last years, this diagnosis sends me even more downhill with constant panic attacks and anxiety the whole day. The feeling it will never go away...Can't work so sitting at home is not doing any good to it neither.

Maybe I can get/give a little support here I thought and it's good to read not to be the only one feeling desperate.thanks

Welcome to the thread, Tara.

That's a lot to have on your plate there. So sorry to hear it.