Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

inca2

Shannon757 wrote: »

Oh FFS. It's gonna be a horrible horrible week at school

I feel your pain, Shannon - I had a horrendous time in secondary school but believe me, things do get better. While it brought its own stresses, college was a major help to me - I found something I was really good at, people who were like-minded. Then I started working and it got better again. Now I'm back in college and that's a whole other story :P Just reach out to whoever you can, do whatever you need to do for you to get through it - but do it in the knowledge that better things lie ahead. And you're definitely not alone.


Thanks to everyone for the replies and the welcomes. I'm two weeks on sertraline now - most side effects have eased but not the insomnia. It's driving me to distraction. I have exams at the start of June and I just haven't been able to concentrate on anything so study is not happening and anxiety levels are high. I've tried a couple of different things to help - to no avail yet. I had a couple of good days but have now lapsed back into feeling totally hopeless, all driven by exhaustion I'd assume. I know it will settle but I need that to happen fast

Shannon757

inca2 wrote: »

I feel your pain, Shannon - I had a horrendous time in secondary school but believe me, things do get better. While it brought its own stresses, college was a major help to me - I found something I was really good at, people who were like-minded. Then I started working and it got better again. Now I'm back in college and that's a whole other story :P Just reach out to whoever you can, do whatever you need to do for you to get through it - but do it in the knowledge that better things lie ahead. And you're definitely not alone.

First class back and I went from being ok to nearly crying in class. It's "Wellness Week" so it's all about your wellbeing and stuff like that so in Religion we talked about wellness and the teacher spoke of "having your physical, mental and social health" and supposed to be thankful for these but I haven't got any and I had to go home the class after because of the pain and I started crying as soon as I was out the door thinking of what she said. I don't know how I'll manage a full week of this

Shannon757

Shannon757 wrote: »

First class back and I went from being ok to nearly crying in class. It's "Wellness Week" so it's all about your wellbeing and stuff like that so in Religion we talked about wellness and the teacher spoke of "having your physical, mental and social health" and supposed to be thankful for these but I haven't got any and I had to go home the class after because of the pain and I started crying as soon as I was out the door thinking of what she said. I don't know how I'll manage a full week of this

You need to find your courage Shannon. There will always be conversations and people who trigger something inside of you. It's important to manage as best you can so as not to be overwhelmed by these triggers.

Your physical health right now is a big struggle for you but you are alive and able to breathe and eat and speak. So that's one box ticked.
Your mental health is also giving you a bit of a kicking these days but you are young, family who love you, access to help and support, you are not alone.
Socially all you need is to focus on yourself right now and try your best to find positivity in even the smallest of things.

Sometimes when we feel very low the negativity feeds itself. Even posting about something happy or what you like to do can have a good impact on your mood. Unfortunately there are no magic wand when it comes to our mental health. Only we can make the changes.

La.de.da

Shannon may I suggest you keep a diary.(assuming you don't already) it can be hugely beneficial in getting your mind and feelings into perspective.

Chronic illness isn't at all nice (I know) but it can't be the thing that defines your life.

Shannon757

La.de.da wrote: »

Shannon may I suggest you keep a diary.(assuming you don't already) it can be hugely beneficial in getting your mind and feelings into perspective.

Chronic illness isn't at all nice (I know) but it can't be the thing that defines your life.

I was for a month or two but when I was admitted to hospital there a few weeks ago I stopped keeping track. It was keeping tracks of steps, medication and pain. I was supposed to put a positive thing in it as well but I could never think of any.

Tell me how

Shannon757 wrote:

I was supposed to put a positive thing in it as well but I could never think of any.

It doesn't have to be awe inspiring or dramatic. It could be just having a nice cup of tea or managing to brush your teeth or even "today I managed to write in my diary".

Its not easy but does help.

Shannon757

Tell me how wrote: »

It doesn't have to be awe inspiring or dramatic. It could be just having a nice cup of tea or managing to brush your teeth or even "today I managed to write in my diary".

Its not easy but does help.

It's just when I'm down in can't see the positive in anything.

New Home

If you wait until the evening to note it down you've often forgotten it 'cause the negatives can be so powerful they overwhelm everything - you could make a note of it on your phone as soon as it happens (e.g. 'A dog smiled at me', 'Someone held the door for me and let me go through first', etc), then you'll be reminded of it again when you go to write it down.

Tell me how

Shannon757 wrote: »

It's just when I'm down in can't see the positive in anything.

I know. That's the thing. It helps you to look for something just so you can write it in the book.

It's like your writing "I brushed my teeth" but what you're really saying is "even though I feel terrible I'm going to show this f*cking illness that I can see something positive"

It is hard, but it helps because it has the effect of training the mind to try to identify a positive, even if it's only for a second before you feel low again. This training helps in the long run even though it is difficult.

Gremlinertia

Shannon757 wrote: »

It's just when I'm down in can't see the positive in anything.

The hard work happens when you're doing ok/well - it's tempting to forget the dark periods then but you need to store some of that strength and goodness for when you are down..

moonboy52

Some great advice folks for Shannon, that i will also incorporate:)

Ray37

Hi Shannon, I'm quite new to this thread, so only seeing your recent posts. I see you are in secondary school. When I was at the same age, I was going through some awful OCD/anxiety. My mum got the family 2 gorgeous doggies, but in reality they were actually for me to have something positive to focus on. Do you have any pets, or could you borrow a pals dog to take for a walk? I always find no matter how bad I feel that a furry friend always lifts me a little. It's a small thing, but I find having furballs around always makes me feel better

Shannon757

Ray37 wrote: »

Hi Shannon, I'm quite new to this thread, so only seeing your recent posts. I see you are in secondary school. When I was at the same age, I was going through some awful OCD/anxiety. My mum got the family 2 gorgeous doggies, but in reality they were actually for me to have something positive to focus on. Do you have any pets, or could you borrow a pals dog to take for a walk? I always find no matter how bad I feel that a furry friend always lifts me a little. It's a small thing, but I find having furballs around always makes me feel better

I have a dog but I can't take him for a walk because I'm not able

Gremlinertia

Hope you get on ok today Shannon

Shannon757

Thanks Grem

Shannon757

This Wellness Week is so hard. I had to leave assembly early because I couldn't deal with all the talk about being well. I just went to the computer lab to avoid it all and then outside so I didn't have to put up with all these events. Even the posters in the hall when I was waiting to be collected made me feel like ****. This day is getting worse and worse.

Shannon757

Went to therapy. All I can say is that I feel I wasted two hours of my day and feel worse than before
Really hard now to cope

Shannon757

Shannon757 wrote: »

Went to therapy. All I can say is that I feel I wasted two hours of my day and feel worse than before
Really hard now to cope

Was your therapist trained in dealing specifically with young people under the age of 18?

The first session is often difficult. Therapy isn't supposed to be easy Shan. Stuff will get stirred up and it's usual to leave feeling better a bit raw. In what way did you find it was a waste?

Shannon757

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Was your therapist trained in dealing specifically with young people under the age of 18?

The first session is often difficult. Therapy isn't supposed to be easy Shan. Stuff will get stirred up and it's usual to leave feeling better a bit raw. In what way did you find it was a waste?

They are. It's a children's mental health place. It's not my first time either. I was going every few days before and usually felt a bit better afterwards. Today I feel really really rubbish afterwards.

Shannon757

Shannon757 wrote: »

They are. It's a children's mental health place. It's not my first time either. I was going every few days before and usually felt a bit better afterwards. Today I feel really really rubbish afterwards.

That can happen alright but stick with it. Today the sun is shining and you are alive

Shannon757

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That can happen alright but stick with it. Today the sun is shining and you are alive

But I don't know if I can keep going through with this. Haven't stopped crying since I left

Shannon757

Shannon757 wrote: »

But I don't know if I can keep going through with this. Haven't stopped crying since I left

You have to Shan. One foot in front of the other. Read back over the posts here that have offered you support. Read other people's experiences on this thread. You can fight this but you must try. That means doing your best to focus on what you have to be grateful for.

I can tell you there are people today who would give anything to be a young man with their whole lives ahead of them. That's not to diminish your pain but to let you see that you can face this and look forward to a happier future.

Shannon757

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You have to Shan. One foot in front of the other. Read back over the posts here that have offered you support. Read other people's experiences on this thread. You can fight this but you must try. That means doing your best to focus on what you have to be grateful for.

I can tell you there are people today who would give anything to be a young man with their whole lives ahead of them. That's not to diminish your pain but to let you see that you can face this and look forward to a happier future.

It's gonna be a **** life if it stays the way it is though it's just not worth living

Mam of 4

Shannon757 wrote: »

But I don't know if I can keep going through with this. Haven't stopped crying since I left

Not too sure what age you are Shannon , but my son was eighteen when he first started speaking to a psychologist . And like you , he often came out in tears , totally spent , done , no energy , nothing left , would bring him home and he wuld literally crawl into bed for a few hours or however long it took .

Then , after a while , it got easier , one day no tears , not as exhausted , mentally and physically .

I don't know if what I am saying is much help to you , but you are not alone .
It will get easier , and as P said , it can be just putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day as it comes .

Stay fighting .

Shannon757

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Not too sure what age you are Shannon , but my son was eighteen when he first started speaking to a psychologist . And like you , he often came out in tears , totally spent , done , no energy , nothing left , would bring him home and he wuld literally crawl into bed for a few hours or however long it took .

Then , after a while , it got easier , one day no tears , not as exhausted , mentally and physically .

I don't know if what I am saying is much help to you , but you are not alone .
It will get easier , and as P said , it can be just putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day as it comes .

Stay fighting .

I don't even know anymore. I'm just tired of fighting it all.

Mam of 4

Shannon757 wrote: »

I don't even know anymore. I'm just tired of fighting it all.

I understand you're tired fighting , but you are stronger than it , you really are , it just may be hard to see that right now .

Have you anyone you can talk to now , or this evening ? A friend , family, anyone ?

Shannon757

Mam of 4 wrote: »

I understand you're tired fighting , but you are stronger than it , you really are , it just may be hard to see that right now .

Have you anyone you can talk to now , or this evening ? A friend , family, anyone ?

Not really. I've exhausted all my options and I don't think I have anyone left

Mam of 4

Shannon757 wrote: »

Not really. I've exhausted all my options and I don't think I have anyone left

Stay talking here Shannon , I normally don't post here but I found this thread a great support in helping me help my son .

Just stay talking please.

Shannon757

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Stay talking here Shannon , I normally don't post here but I found this thread a great support in helping me help my son .

Just stay talking please.

I've run out of things to say. I spent 2 hours in there earlier and said everything I had to say.

Mam of 4

Shannon757 wrote: »

I've run out of things to say. I spent 2 hours in there earlier and said everything I had to say.

Sorry , I worded that last post wrong , I meant stay chatting/posting here .
There are fantastic posters here who can advise a lot better than I can to be honest .