Remind me never to have children

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

Hmm, the observations were very real but yes, I clearly wrote the post with a large degree of flippancy.

"I had to keep my cuss words to a minimum because the place was full of more nuclear families than Pripyat."

"Now they're the types who go for Sunday lunches with their older husbands and think: 'if only I made him wear a johnny'."

"Never have children. They might seem like a good idea, but they're expensive and sooner or later you'll think 'actually, this is a bit sh*t'. I'd liken them to Beats by Dre. Just don't bother."

If I wanted to make a compelling case for NOT having children, would I really have used this tone?

Yet you again state that your observations were real

aaronjumper

A lot of pop psychology going on in this thread.
Everyone seems to know what everyone else is thinking and why.

Am I the only one knocking around in ignorance?

Bongalongherb

Deleted User wrote: »

The important part of your comment is the "Short relationship" though.
What about a permanent one?

Well that depends on finding the right person, it may never happen, but strange things do happen. Until that day happens it is single and looking for the key that unlocks my mind into this scenario.

Hammer89

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I reckon he likes motherly types, a perfectly respectable choice imo. It may explain his obsession with them on his day out.

Sigmund Freund over here.

LETHAL LADY

Hammer89 wrote: »

It was not actually what I intended to do and I apologise if it was taken that way.

Oh come on now :pac: don't back down. Let yourself go like :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Deleted User wrote: »

Yet you again state that your observations were real

Women looking fed up in pub showing football match shocker

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

aaronjumper wrote: »

A lot of pop psychology going on in this thread.
Everyone seems to know what everyone else is thinking and why.

Am I the only one knocking around in ignorance?

No you only think that because you don't have kids. Once you've seen Frozen for the 18th time you'll have a whole new mature perspective on life

Bongalongherb

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Well that depends on finding the right person, it may never happen, but strange things do happen. Until that day happens it is single and looking for the key that unlocks my mind into this scenario.

Precisely.
YF&S is the sh1t, as long as you want it (or still are the "Y")

Teagan Cuddly Checkers

Teagan Cuddly Checkers wrote: »

No you only think that because you don't have kids. Once you've seen Frozen for the 18th time you'll have a whole new mature perspective on life

Let it go

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Women looking fed up in pub showing football match shocker

Sexist much lol.

I would be just as bored

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

Yet you again state that your observations were real

They were real but you need to understand this very, very, very simple thing: I wasn't using three miserable-looking women as a reason for every man and woman on planet earth not to have children. Are you crazy?

LETHAL LADY

Hammer89 wrote: »

Sigmund Freund over here.

Takes one to know one!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Deleted User wrote: »

Sexist much lol.

I would be just as bored

Me too. If I went out for food thinking at least I'm not stuck at home watching that shyte all evening, and then ending up sitting in front of it on a big screen, I'd be raging! Child or no child.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

They were real but you need to understand this very, very, very simple thing: I wasn't using three miserable-looking women as a reason for every man and woman on planet earth not to have children. Are you crazy?

Dig up lad... dig up

Bongalongherb

Deleted User wrote: »

Precisely.
YF&S is the sh1t, as long as you want it (or still are the "Y")

I'm not sure about this Y's & S's, can you put that in laymans terms please ? I don't understand that comment.

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

Dig up lad... dig up

I know why you were exiled from Cork. Can we exile this person from the internet as well.

Bongalongherb

Bongalongherb wrote: »

I'm not sure about this Y's & S's, can you put that in laymans terms please ? I don't understand that comment.

Young
Free
Single

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

I know why you were exiled from Cork. Can we exile this person from the internet as well.

You seem tired and grumpy already, you'll be in bits when you have kids

Ice Maiden

Into The Blue wrote: »

There's someone like you in work. Early 30s.. Every evening, she'll come out with the usual "so you up to anything nice for the evening?" (Trying to steer the conversation to whatever empty timesink distraction she has planned for that evening)..


'Nappies and tired kids' is usually the answer from everyone. She thinks she's deadly, but everyone just feels sorry for her.

Does she definitely think she's deadly? Is her evening plan always definitely an empty timesink distraction that could not be better (to her) than minding children?
Nothing in what you say indicates that she thinks she has a much better life than those who have children - unless she explicitly states it I suppose.

Anyone's choice in this regard - whether to have children or not - does not require people feeling sorry for them if they're happy with their choice. If they'd like to have children but have no partner or can't have children, then it seems healthier in my opinion to make the best of what they have, rather than be visibly miserable about it constantly.

Into The Blue

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Does she definitely think she's deadly? Is her evening plan always definitely an empty timesink distraction that could not be better (to her) than minding children?
Nothing in what you say indicates that she thinks she has a much better life than those who have children - unless she explicitly states it I suppose.

Anyone's choice in this regard - whether to have children or not - does not require people feeling sorry for them if they're happy with their choice. If they'd like to have children but have no partner or can't have children, then it seems healthier in my opinion to make the best of what they have, rather than be visibly miserable about it constantly.

OK

Ah Lord. The OP is getting a very hard time. Even in a thread as trivial and tongue in cheek as this the subject of children brings out a lot of defensive responses. There have been a few threads on other forums where the same thing happens.

Surely a bit of humour is allowed regardless of the choice you make. And as for the likes of climbing Kilimanjaro being something worth missing compared to nursing a hangover?? I would dearly miss my nights out and peaceful morning afters.

The OP noticed the bored expressions of some mothers and decided to start a thread. No big deal.

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

You seem tired and grumpy already, you'll be in bits when you have kids

I'm a bit grumpy because you think I've tried my utmost to make a compelling argument against reproduction here, in a post in which I've compared having children to a pair of headphones. I mean, get a grip here pal.

SteelyDanJalapeno

All your sexy bits would still be sexy too

Bongalongherb

You can have a great fulfilled relationship and very out-going without kids as well so who's up for that ? with no kids and we just travel the world together and make as much love on the way as possible


With the condom.

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah Lord. The OP is getting a very hard time. Even in a thread as trivial and tongue in cheek as this the subject of children brings out a lot of defensive responses. There have been a few threads on other forums where the same thing happens.

Surely a bit of humour is allowed regardless of the choice you make. And as for the likes of climbing Kilimanjaro being something worth missing compared to nursing a hangover?? I would dearly miss my nights out and peaceful morning afters.

The OP noticed the bored expressions of some mothers and decided to start a thread. No big deal.

I've seen it before pal. The level of hostility on AH is so high that it makes Syria look like Funderland.

Into The Blue

Into The Blue wrote: »

There's someone like you in work. Early 30s.. Every evening, she'll come out with the usual "so you up to anything nice for the evening?" (Trying to steer the conversation to whatever empty timesink distraction she has planned for that evening)..


'Nappies and tired kids' is usually the answer from everyone. She thinks she's deadly, but everyone just feels sorry for her.

Why on earth would you feel sorry for her?

Ice Maiden

Deleted User wrote: »

Why on earth would you feel sorry for her?

Because she has no children yet has a chirpy demeanour, duh!

Ice Maiden

Hammer89 wrote: »

I've seen it before pal. The level of hostility on AH is so high that it makes Syria look like Funderland.

Ah I can see why people would be defensive though, if they didn't realise you were messing. It's a bit of a harsh looking post.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm a bit grumpy because you think I've tried my utmost to make a compelling argument against reproduction here, in a post in which I've compared having children to a pair of headphones. I mean, get a grip here pal.

The internet is serious business, you need to be more relaxed.

LETHAL LADY

Christ on a bike :eek: this thread would have you believe that all marriages/partnerships are doomed to fail due to the commitments that follow.
I'm with my husband 22 years this year :eek: and I've never sat in a pub beside him thinking sher I'll pretend I'm interested in the fooseball (he's not into soccer anway but still) if you're in a relationship where you're sitting there waiting for your partner to show an interest in you, well, my advice would be to get the feck out of it.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I work with all women.
Most of them have children.
There are a couple of them who do nothing but talk about their child, all day long. I know one ladies sons childminders name, his favourite type of cake, his friends name, how he spends his free time with his dad, what age he was potty trained at, when his birthday is, how he climbs up on things and how he tore her with his large head being born.

Another girl will mention her kids in passing or if she has something interesting to say.

The girls with no kids will talk about going on random trips, long weekends away, new shoes they've treated themselves to, presents they buy themselves on pay day.

I know which I'd prefer to listen to on a regular basis

Bongalongherb

Bongalongherb wrote: »

You can have a great fulfilled relationship and very out-going without kids as well so who's up for that ? with no kids and we just travel the world together and make as much love on the way as possible


With the condom.

Long term (see permanent) relationship using a condom?? Damn

Into The Blue

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Because she has no children yet has a chirpy demeanour, duh!

Who said she had a chirpy demeanor?

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I work with all women.
Most of them have children.
There are a couple of them who do nothing but talk about their child, all day long. I know one ladies sons childminders name, his favourite type of cake, his friends name, how he spends his free time with his dad, what age he was potty trained at, when his birthday is, how he climbs up on things and how he tore her with his large head being born.

Another girl will mention her kids in passing or if she has something interesting to say.

The girls with no kids will talk about going on random trips, long weekends away, new shoes they've treated themselves to, presents they buy themselves on pay day.

I know which I'd prefer to listen to on a regular basis

I talk about rugby, latest video game or latest upgrade to the PC which I'm treating myself to

Into The Blue

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why on earth would you feel sorry for her?

Lonely aul life. We've all had the craic in our younger days.. Great times.. Sad to see someone trying desperately to hang on into her 30's..

Ice Maiden

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Ah I can see why people would be defensive though, if they didn't realise you were messing. It's a bit of a harsh looking post.

I think the post has brought out "precious snowflake" syndrome.

Bongalongherb

This old adage of having children is fading out these days in modern society as folk just feel more intense as to enjoy their short lives as much as possible. The OP's comment is grand and I see nothing wrong with it at all as I'm sure that having kids is damn stressful and it can ware the hardest parent out. But why put yourself through this unnecessary pain when you could be wild and free floating around the world with the freedom of meeting new women all the time.

It's fresh, exciting, it's so exciting to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NChc__dH3jA

Into The Blue

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I think the post has brought out "precious snowflake" syndrome.

Into The Blue

Into The Blue wrote: »

Lonely aul life. We've all had the craic in our younger days.. Great times.. Sad to see someone trying desperately to hang on into her 30's..

What a strange attitude you have.

Just because she is in thirties doesn't mean she can't have fun. Or that she is hanging on to it desperately or that she is lonely. Do you think fun has an expiry date?

Maybe you're just taking the piss.

Into The Blue

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What a strange attitude you have.

Just because she is in thirties doesn't mean she can't have fun. Or that she is hanging on to it desperately or that she is lonely. Do you think fun has an expiry date?

Maybe you're just taking the piss.

No, I just know her better than you.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Into The Blue wrote: »

Lonely aul life. We've all had the craic in our younger days.. Great times.. Sad to see someone trying desperately to hang on into her 30's..

Who says she's lonely? This is such a perfect encapsulation of the most condescending, presumptuous attitude that parents have to non-parents that I want to think you're doing some kind of satirical take on it

LETHAL LADY

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I work with all women.
Most of them have children.
There are a couple of them who do nothing but talk about their child, all day long. I know one ladies sons childminders name, his favourite type of cake, his friends name, how he spends his free time with his dad, what age he was potty trained at, when his birthday is, how he climbs up on things and how he tore her with his large head being born.

Another girl will mention her kids in passing or if she has something interesting to say.

The girls with no kids will talk about going on random trips, long weekends away, new shoes they've treated themselves to, presents they buy themselves on pay day.

I know which I'd prefer to listen to on a regular basis

Yeah childbirth ain't glamorous, but you wouldn't be here without it. Did you ever ask your mother how you were born?

Into The Blue

Into The Blue wrote: »

Lonely aul life. We've all had the craic in our younger days.. Great times.. Sad to see someone trying desperately to hang on into her 30's..

30's some of my best nights were with people in their 30's, when I was single in 20's.

Nothing wrong with enjoying it while you're able, but you know her so prob have a read on situation

Into The Blue

Into The Blue wrote: »

No, I just know her better than you.

Aha!!

You ARE taking the piss

Arghus

When I was in my late teens/early twenties I was fond of the idea of someday having kids, albeit in a kind of abstract way: oh yeah, of course I'd want kids...eventually. Now I'm at the age where my peers are having children, so it's something a bit more tangible and not so far far away. And I feel most disinclined towards having children and the lack of interest only gets stronger every year.

That's not a slight on people who have kids. I'm sure if it did - unluckily - ever happen to me I'd probably have a completely different tune, "they're the light of my lives, etc,etc", but that's hypothetical. Also, there'd probably be all sorts of chemical/hormonal things going on in my brain at that stage. I can only speak from the position of someone who doesn't have them and doesn't want to have them. I know that I'm too self-involved to genuinely want kids

I think the OP was exagerating for comic effect, but I agree with the essense of what he had to say. Some of those people today were probably bored rigid due to their surroundings, or the thought of another Sunday spent watching football, but I'm sure some of them were fit to lose their minds because of the roving gangs of pint sized lunatics running around causing loud and disruptive mayhem. That's what I see happening in public places during weekends, for a start. For Example, go shopping in a supermarket on a weekend, I think it's absolute hell: stressed parents fighting their way through the aisles, with kids fighting, shouting or doing just about anything they feel like. I don't blame the children, they're just being themselves. I do wonder about the parents though. I've sometimes looked into their eyes and I've seen a definite I Hate My Life Expression in there. I'm sure if someone could offer the most miserable of them a chance to forget it all and be transported back to their carefree childless lives, hangovers and all, they'd take it. And I just think, Jesus, who would willingly put themselves through this? Everywhere you go and everything you do must just be so hard and so aggrevating. And a lot of the time people are sheparding around quite young kids, who are, you know, supposedly innocent, beautiful sources of great joy, but, alas, can also be chaotic, random stress machines at the same time. Then, eventually they morph into moody teens, which is probably more intense again. To think people oftentimes go through it all again, more than once! The only thing that unites the whole experience from beginning to end is that you're hemmoraging money throughout. Well, apart, from unconditional love. Speaking from outside the warzone, I think I'm okay without it.

Ice Maiden

Into The Blue wrote: »

Lonely aul life. We've all had the craic in our younger days.. Great times.. Sad to see someone trying desperately to hang on into her 30's..

How do you know she's lonely? People in their early 30s are still pretty young. I know several women, now mothers, who did not have children in their early 30s and weren't doing any desperate hanging-on. People who think you have to stop living like a young person at 30 seem like wannabe old fogeys. Not everyone has a partner at her age either. It seems like you take great offence to her not being miserable - or even just single. If you're being serious of course.

Would you be saying the same regarding the person in question if they were a guy?

Into The Blue

Teagan Cuddly Checkers wrote: »

Who says she's lonely? This is such a perfect encapsulation of the most condescending, presumptuous attitude that parents have to non-parents that I want to think you're doing some kind of satirical take on it

I say she's lonely.

Nothing condescending about speaking from experience.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Yeah childbirth ain't glamorous, but you wouldn't be here without it. Did you ever ask your mother how you were born?

I would but she's dead

Teagan Cuddly Checkers

Teagan Cuddly Checkers wrote: »

Who says she's lonely? This is such a perfect encapsulation of the most condescending, presumptuous attitude that parents have to non-parents that I want to think you're doing some kind of satirical take on it

It's more a couple thing Vs parent thing.

Saying that I do know people who tell the world how amazing it is to be single yet are desperately lonely in a 1on1 chat

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Into The Blue wrote: »

I say she's lonely.

Nothing condescending about speaking from experience.

But you haven't experienced her life. And you're not giving us much to go on. She talks about her weekend plans with her colleagues and she doesn't have kids = she's lonely and has a sad life. See how that sounds condescending and presumptuous? It's no better than what the OP did: they have kids and they're not beaming = they probably wish they could go out on the lash every weekend. Cept he's taking the piss a bit and you're apparently not