When is it time to stop being nude in front of the kids...

Shenshen

I'm not a parent, so can't comment from that angle.
But my parents were never uncomfortable being naked around us, and neither me nor my brothers were uncomfortable being naked around them.

Not that we'd all be running around the house stark naked all the time, but going to the loo in the middle of the night we might meet another family member, and we all had a habit of sleeping in the nip.
We also used to go camping in Croatia quite a lot when I was growing up. And as my mom refused to do laundry on holidays (especially on camping holidays, where it would have meant hand-washing things), we went to nudist camps.

And to this day, none of us would think twice about being in a sauna together, for example.

Boskowski

I suppose the answer would be when you stop caring about your children growing up to have a normal relaxed attitude to the human body and decide to pass 'the shame' onto the next generation instead.

pickarooney

Ah, the Germans are here now to put manners on ye!

stoplooklisten

pickarooney wrote: »

Ah, the Germans are here now to put manners on ye!

they want your coat, your boots and your motorcycle

esforum

Well, puberty would be the upper limit I reckon and I said the UPPER limit but then I am a father to three girls. Some of the comments here are so far either way, suggesting a father cant have baby in the bath with him or going the other way and saying that its absolutely fine for myself and my 16 year daughter to just hang out in all our glory

I think once the child can dress themselves properly you should take a step back in that regard and they will let you know anyway because when you are in the shower or getting changed they will stop walking in on you and / or start knocking.

Oh, to have a shower or dump in private

andekwarhola

andekwarhola wrote: »

Not sure you have to wait until kids start getting uncomfortable about it. There's a certain cut-off point (obviously not 5 years old) that you can decide yourself as a parent.

I did not say wait until the kids start getting uncomfortable with it though. I said when _anyone involved_ does. It does not have to be the kids. It could be me for example. Or someone else vicariously in the family.

But until that starts to happen or shows signs of happening - I see no cause for any concerns.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Boskowski wrote: »

I suppose the answer would be when you stop caring about your children growing up to have a normal relaxed attitude to the human body and decide to pass 'the shame' onto the next generation instead.

I read an interview with Charlie Sheen once where he said that his folks would walk around naked all the time, even when he was a teenager.

If he has a "normal relaxed attitude to the human body" then sign me up for some shame please.

Speedwell

I know not everyone is having trouble with this distinction, but having healthy personal boundaries is not "being ashamed of the human body", and respecting the healthy physical boundaries of other people is not "teaching them to be ashamed of the human body". If someone is that cavalier about respecting someone else's physical and psychological boundaries, I tend to have as little to do with that person as possible. Especially if that person is caring for me while I am ill or vulnerable.

suicide_circus

Don't you people know that the naked human form is shameful?

Arbiter of Good Taste

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

I read an interview with Charlie Sheen once where he said that his folks would walk around naked all the time, even when he was a teenager. If he has a "normal relaxed attitude to the human body" then sign me up for some shame please.

I doubt he is a good comparison template for - well - for anything at all really. I find little reason to do anything but doubt his soundness of mind every time I hear him talk or read about him. Which thankfully is not that often. And any issues he has - if any - mentally - I would wonder if merely seeing his parents naked is the foundation for them.

There are whole communities of nudists in the world where family members - siblings - friends - of all shapes, sizes, ages, creeds and race engage with nudity and I have seen little to doubt their general well being or attitudes to the human body. They certainly are not reliably producing Charlie Sheen clones.

JustShon

Realistically there's a balance to be had, as in all things. Acting like the naked body is something totally shameful that needs to be hidden is going to be bad for a child's well being but at the same time, if they're to exist alongside humans outside of some nudist colony, they're going to have to learn that most people won't be comfortable a: seeing them naked and b: being seen naked.

whisky_galore

Shenshen wrote: »

We also used to go camping in Croatia quite a lot when I was growing up. And as my mom refused to do laundry on holidays (especially on camping holidays, where it would have meant hand-washing things), we went to nudist camps.

And to this day, none of us would think twice about being in a sauna together, for example.

Croatia was full of those camps, they were a bit of a let-down...populated not by hotties but by wrinkly ex-Wehrmacht types on holiday.:(

Shenshen

whisky_galore wrote: »

Croatia was full of those camps, they were a bit of a let-down...populated not by hotties but by wrinkly ex-Wehrmacht types on holiday.:(

See, that's something I really don't understand - it sounds a bit like you're expecting everybody there to cater to your own specific preferences of gender, age and body shape?
Why would you expect everyone to be a "hotty", just because they enjoy not wearing clothes on holidays?

Speedwell

Speedwell wrote: »

I couldn't articulate it then, but if I could tell her how I was feeling today, I would tell her it was a boundary issue and she was at best oversharing. When you get to that age you value privacy and start withdrawing from the baby intimacy you had with your parents. You instinctively want to preserve some distance. That is what is normal and natural.

This.

I think it articulates it far better than reducing it to sex and shame. That sounds all very...Freudian.

It's simply about boundaries. I'm just wondering when the boundary should be observed. I think another poster said it's when the child starts demonstrating discomfort with it, looking away etc. Which makes sense.

Shenshen

OSI wrote: »

Hope != expectation.

I get let down by bank balance every day, doesn't mean I have expectations for it to be any better.

Hehe, good point.
So maybe being exposed to nudity as a child frames your hopes more realistically, if nothing else?

JustShon

whisky_galore wrote: »

Croatia was full of those camps, they were a bit of a let-down...populated not by hotties but by wrinkly ex-Wehrmacht types on holiday.:(

As far as I know it's considered bad form to have a boner at a nudist camp / beach so you're lucky it wasn't full of hotties or you might have offended some people.

R.D. aka MR.D

There wasn't a lock on our bathroom door until we were teenagers. My parents would still wander around in their underwear and when I'm at home, I wouldn't think twice about wandering through the living room to get to the kitchen in a bra if needs be. They are my parents.

My parents aren't hippys or anything near it, even my grandparents ,when they were alive, did the same thing. Isn't it horribly inconvenient if you are a parent to have to cover yourself up just incase your kid sees you?

Maybe it depends on how you are raised. My husband is a get dressed in the bathroom kinda guy but I'll have wandered through the whole apartment before I've even put my knickers on. Growing up, we only had one bathroom so you couldn't be in there all day, getting dressed and what not. Shower and out so the next person can use it.

If children are uncomfortable with it then parents should be mindful of that but I can honestly say I've never felt uncomfortable with my parents nudity. I wouldn't want them doing it if we had company over but we're family and it's their house so it's not a big deal.

One eyed Jack

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

There wasn't a lock on our bathroom door until we were teenagers. My parents would still wander around in their underwear and when I'm at home, I wouldn't think twice about wandering through the living room to get to the kitchen in a bra if needs be. They are my parents.

My parents aren't hippys or anything near it, even my grandparents ,when they were alive, did the same thing. Isn't it horribly inconvenient if you are a parent to have to cover yourself up just incase your kid sees you?

Maybe it depends on how you are raised. My husband is a get dressed in the bathroom kinda guy but I'll have wandered through the whole apartment before I've even put my knickers on. Growing up, we only had one bathroom so you couldn't be in there all day, getting dressed and what not. Shower and out so the next person can use it.

If children are uncomfortable with it then parents should be mindful of that but I can honestly say I've never felt uncomfortable with my parents nudity. I wouldn't want them doing it if we had company over but we're family and it's their house so it's not a big deal.

Ah it's not really. I have a bathrobe so I'll go from the bedroom to the bathroom for a shower in the morning and get dressed in our bedroom. My child who's 11 now has been able to shower and dress himself since he was about 4 or 5, once he was shown how to use the shower and set the temp, etc. I've honestly never thought of it as an inconvenience.

Growing up in a family of six boys and one girl, my sister being the eldest would have the bathwater first, then my eldest brother would go in after her, then the other brother, and then me, then water changed, the last three brothers would have a bath, one after the other. During the week we all went to the public pool for a swim every evening after school and there were no issues at all with nudity in the dressing rooms (it was so bloody cold we were all just wanting to get dressed and get out as fast as possible!! :pac:).

It's just... not something we do, no issues with the human body or any of the rest of it, just not really the done thing is all.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I've sat on the toilet talking to my friend while she took a bath.
We've waxed each other, put tan on each other, handed each other items of clothing, got dressed with each other, realise you can see vpl and changed knickers in front of each other. I wouldn't bat an eyelid seeing someone I was close to with no clothes on, it's not like you're consciously stripping off in front of someone, but they're getting on with what their doing, whether that be taking a bath or getting dressed. It's no big deal. I wouldn't be very worried if my kid was looking at me getting dressed but if it made them awkward they'd need to learn don't come into my bedroom when I'm getting dressed. I'm not going to make them feel bad about their body or be embarrassed if they see mine.

JustShon

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I've sat on the toilet talking to my friend while she took a bath.

The only time I'd have an issue with this is if someone wanted to do a sh1te while I was having a bath or shower. Unless you're about to have an accident, please don't stink the place up while I'm trying to relax.

Ice Maiden

suicide_circus wrote: »

Don't you people know that the naked human form is shameful?

You are probably messing but a number of people seem to confuse "something to keep private" with shameful.
I would not be one for wandering around the house naked for the sake of it, full stop. Always have something on me. That's just me.

timthumbni

Interesting question. I can't sleep unless I'm naked so this does effect me. I didn't mind at all when the kids were toddlers. im not that conscious as nudity is a natural thing. Sure weren't Adam and his wee girlfriend running about in the altogether......

fatknacker

In Asian bathhouses you'd see 3 generations in there all sitting around and scrubbing each other. No big deal to them.

fatknacker

Candie wrote: »

My parents are old hippies, they'd still be letting it all hang out in the living room if they got the chance. I don't remember what age they stopped being routinely naked around me, but I'm not that observant either.

I remember getting into trouble with my granny because I was always in the nuddy as a little one, I remember being cajoled to putting on underwear before she'd open the door to a caller one time, and another time being told that I really should wear more than socks in the kitchen.

I still like being in the nuddy, but every window is overlooked where I live so tis a rare thing outside of the bath/bedroom.

Ah yes, I remember my granny doing the same to me. Shaming me at 4 years old to go and cover up my bits with a fig leaf or something.

duffman3833

i think its a decision a young child has to make as they get older. They will learn themselves if it OK or not to see parents nude. I wouldn't force them to stop or they may think something wrong

andekwarhola

Ironic - but not surprising - that so many people jump in to confuse - what another poster rightly described as - simple/evolving boundaries in family life with some concerted effort to create shame about nakedness. All this equates to is the usual nonsensical boards nostrum of projecting supposed 'insecurities' onto easy targets in the hope that others will notice how liberated you are.

suicide_circus

Ice Maiden wrote: »

You are probably messing but a number of people seem to confuse "something to keep private" with shameful.
I would not be one for wandering around the house naked for the sake of it, full stop. Always have something on me. That's just me.

Oh I agree I'm the same. I think our modesty around nudity probably has a sound practical evolutionary origin. Those who covered up were less likely to die of exposure, less likely to get sun stroke, less likely to get a visible horn when seeing the neighbouring chiefs attractive young wife and thus avoid a lethal confrontation, less likely to attract a visible horn from the neighbouring tribes' warriors and thus less likely to be carried off, less likely to lose your wedding tackle in a fight. Over millennia these legitimate reasons were hijacked and turned into bullshìte about Adam and Eve, shamefullness and sin etc

Stigura

suicide_circus wrote: »

..... less likely to lose your wedding tackle in a fight.

Oh, I don't know. In reality, most fights quickly go to the ground. That's when I'll whip out my hard on. Soon makes my opponent jump back, that does!

PLL

I remember as a teen feeling very uncomfortable seeing my mom naked. She was very open and comfortable with it, which is grand but I never have been. You could call me a bit of prude I suppose.

I have a four year old daughter, I would get dressed infront of her, wouldn't bathe or
Shower with her now I think unless we were somewhere that there was no other option.
Will probably stop undessing completely when she is about 8.
It's very much personal preference, I know moms/daughters that would be 20's/50's that still would and have always walked around naked.

Edit: Just to note that I'd have no problem being in my underwear infront of my children at any age unless they were uncomfortable, I mean it's the same as a bikini.

Out of interest what are people's views of your children of the opposite sex seeing you naked? My male oh has never been naked infront of our daughter, he is uncomfortable with her seeing him naked. Just wondering what others thoughts are?

Donald Trump

Deleted User wrote: »

...a spin off from the equally puzzling "when to stop kissing kids on the lips" thread.

I don't mean standing naked in front of a child in harsh light or anything...and I do mean one's own child. But the casual nudity...coming out of the shower and towelling down in the bedroom, running down to see if the clothes in the dryer are ready etc. When should that stop?

Or indeed should it?

When is it time to stop being nude in front of the kids?

Probably when they're not your own and all they are trying to do is enjoy their lunch break before heading back to prepare for their Communion lessons.

PLL

PLL wrote: »

Out of interest what are people's views of your children of the opposite sex seeing you naked?

Unchanged. I do not see a difference.

Speedwell

I'd say the same thing I do of those full-body scanning machines at airports. If they're that determined to see what I look like under my clothing, hell, it's their funeral.

Lollipops23

I don't ever recall seeing my dad naked (thankfully), but myself and my mam would be fairly laidback about it still. Probably see each other naked or semi naked couple of times a year.

duffman3833

i just don't see the harm, if they see you, they see you. Its not gonna scar them. They will build a bridge and get over it