3 yr old won't eat.

trixychic

I need help. I'm been driven mad by my 3 almost 4 yr old. He just won't eat any type of carbs at dinner.

As it is he only eats meat in the form of sausages, chicken nuggets/goujans/ Maryland's, burgers and fish fingers.

His veg is limited too. Raw carrots or sweetcorn. Now he eats Apple's and grapes and sometimes cherries too. But that's it.

But his carbs are the worst. He has never eaten potatoes. Even as a newly weaning child he would vomit back up any potatoes we gave him. But he now won't eat anything.
No chips, waffles, mash, roasties, baked potato, croquettes, you name it we've tried it.... more than once. And that's not all. He's is now striking in pasta, spaghetti, rice, cous cous... everything.

He will eat bread (Brown or white). He will eat wraps and he eats porridge in the morning... that's it.

Does anyone have any ideas asto what I can do??? He is so fussy. And I'm afraid he may be getting constipated. He only drinks milk, water or weak dilute. And hes on vitamins daily.

I'm really at my wits end!!!! Help please.

Millem

Have you tried homemade pizza? Or homemade mini quiches? Or homemade scones? You could make savoury scones?

trixychic

Oh crap. Yes we do homemade pizza. Make the dough from scratch. He loves his cheese... but it's a margareta pizza with sweetcorn. That's it. He won't eat it if there's anything else on it.

And he'll eat fruit scones. Never tried savory scones... worth a try. Thank you!!!

Miss Merry Berry

trixychic wrote: »

I need help. I'm been driven mad by my 3 almost 4 yr old. He just won't eat any type of carbs at dinner.

As it is he only eats meat in the form of sausages, chicken nuggets/goujans/ Maryland's, burgers and fish fingers.

His veg is limited too. Raw carrots or sweetcorn. Now he eats Apple's and grapes and sometimes cherries too. But that's it.

But his carbs are the worst. He has never eaten potatoes. Even as a newly weaning child he would vomit back up any potatoes we gave him. But he now won't eat anything.
No chips, waffles, mash, roasties, baked potato, croquettes, you name it we've tried it.... more than once. And that's not all. He's is now striking in pasta, spaghetti, rice, cous cous... everything.

He will eat bread (Brown or white). He will eat wraps and he eats porridge in the morning... that's it.

Does anyone have any ideas asto what I can do??? He is so fussy. And I'm afraid he may be getting constipated. He only drinks milk, water or weak dilute. And hes on vitamins daily.

I'm really at my wits end!!!! Help please.

Do you think he might be eating too much processed meat and as a result his taste buds have developed too much of liking for salt? I don't give my child anything out of a packet in terms of meat. She just gets chicken in curries, mince in homemade burgers/ lasagne/bolognese, salmon, cod, prawns etc. I would try to wean him off the packet stuff if it was me. Even let him go hungry or have no meat days. Don't let him dictate what you are cooking. My Mum always had two choices in the kitchen- take it or leave it and none of us were fussy eaters.

From an outsider's view, it seems to be the processed meat that is the problem. My Dad would often make coddle with sausages in it and that would be the first thing my daughter eats and she'd be asking for more without looking at the veg and potatoes in the bowl. I hope I didn't offend you

JakeArmitage

Force it down his throat

cyning

My 3.5 year old is fussy too: but while she eats carbs she would leave everything else. We've introduced a reward chart for food without the chart if that makes sense?! We give her a sticker for trying something new. It doesn't always work but now she eats cod and hake and will try chicken. She eats no veg but eats apples, bananas grapes and strawberries. The same child used eat curries stir fries everything no problem so it's very frustrating,

January

JakeArmitage wrote: »

Force it down his throat

Keep posting like that in this forum and I will ban you.

Coopaloop

Could you try (if you haven't already) making your own nuggets, fish fingers,burgers etc.. at least you would know the goodness that is going into them,and you could hide veg in them too. Have you tried homemade soup? If you dip the bread into it?great way to get the veg in too.

trixychic

Coopaloop wrote: »

Could you try (if you haven't already) making your own nuggets, fish fingers,burgers etc.. at least you would know the goodness that is going into them,and you could hide veg in them too. Have you tried homemade soup? If you dip the bread into it?great way to get the veg in too.

We do make homemadefrom time to time but things have been busy and complicated lately so haven't had the chance. I try to hide veg in everything. I can usually sneak in some onion and garlic (colourless once cooked) but if hw spots something the fork goes down at that's the end of it.

As for homemade soup my oh makes a gorgeous one. We normally do up about 3-4litres and stick in the fridge. Everyone loves it... but him.

I could understand if was eating things before but he NEVER ate potatoes. We started weaning him on saltless plain food. Same as the other fella.

I sometimes wonder if I did the damage during the pregnancy. I seemed tonhabe developed a sweet tooth during my last trimester.

We are thinking of doing the "eat it or starve" as we used to get. But it seems so scary!!!

Elemonator

Supposedly I was like this when I was a kid, more due to bad behaviour. My mum eventually just cooked whatever they wanted and if I didn't eat it, tough luck. Nowadays, I'll eat anything but my cousins are still fussy.

I still refuse to touch salmon though

Neyite

Sympathies. I've a fussy eater too, though he's gotten better in the last 6 months. What I did, though I cant say that it was down to me, its likely that he just came out the other side of a phase, but a few things I tried was:

He didn't have to eat everything, but he did have to try it. (Though if he had had that reaction your child did to potatoes I probably would accept he just has a strong aversion and not insist on that one)

If he didnt like it, then he was offered porridge or bread. He still only eats bananas and apples, but that's a vast improvement on last year tbh. But he always took the Ella's pouches, thankfully. He did like orange juice so I'd give him 'shots' in little disposable shot glasses to keep his bowels ticking over.

I got him involved in cooking. He loved helping me making smoothies, putting the fruit I chop into the beakers and so on.

I know sometimes it can help if you invite a child who is a great eater over for a play date. Kids love a bit of competition.

Day Lewin

Does it really matter? Are these potatoes and things vital for health? I doubt it...you would know if your child was malnourished and it doesn't sound like it.
I always think it is a mistake to use moral or emotional language around food; it is far too easy for food to become an area for triumphant power displays. A good appetite and a range of plain fresh foods is usually enough to ensure good nutrition, in the long run: take it or leave it is a good menu choice!
I reared 5 and never forced anyone to eat, but bread, milk and apples were always available if they didnt fancy their dinner. And NO discussion of dislikes or refusals, at the table, ever.
Really, they do not starve; keep rubbish out of the diet but otherwise, step away from the conflict, and sit easy.

Coopaloop

I completely agree with the above post,I got that children can be fussy eaters,and can use it against you as a power thing. I've a two year old and he's not easy to feed at the best of time,I haven't distract the hell out of him to eat,and now that I think of it,it took a while for him to like potatoe too. He didn't like pasta either for ages,and I don't think he likes the texture of meat,so I blend it and mash it up. He'll grow out of it,he won't die,but I will not force him to eat. I hate that. I was never forced to eat,and I'm still here. My partners family had a rule that you had to finish everything on your plate,even if you didn't like it,and still go on about it to this day at meal times, they comment if you don't finish it all. My mother always said eat till you're full, so that's what I do,and I turned out fine. It actually took me ages to convince my partner that he didn't have to eat every scrap of food on his plate or if he didn't like something he didn't have to eat it. God help him when he was a child because his mother is a terrible cook.

Neyite

Another one here who never made a big deal out of it. And sometimes when you wondered if they were just surviving on fresh air or something, it was hard to bite your tongue.

Like that, we have a cajoling granny here. She means well, but when she starts at the dinner table, my child downs tools and is as stubborn as a donkey. It only reminded him more of the power he wields with food refusal.

And I don't want to create food issues down the line so I don't believe clearing their plate should be a rule - we all have days where we are in a grazing mood, and days we'd eat rings around ourselves. And I'm ok with children disliking things - we all do - and if that's the case then a plain but filling alternative is offered. I offer it again in a few months. The only rule is that he has to try it.

scarbouro

My little one is a terror at the moment too. But she won't eat most meats, veg or potato for me. She likes plenty of different fruits which I stock up on. She will only eat sweetcorn or peas at a push. Every night she wants plain pasta or rice for dinner. She will eat prawns for me that's about it at the moment. She was great eater when she was younger. Hopefully just a phase.

trixychic

I can completely see how he has the power over me at the min alright. Drives me bonkers. But I might lay off and see what happens. As for the bowels... he doesn't really like orange juice.

Anyone any ideas for sneaking high fibre and ruffiage into him so he doesn't get constipated???

My oh was in a house that was very much "eat what your given. All of it!". I came from a house where we didn't have enough food due to finances. We often went to bed hungry. It's probably why I'm so afraid of letting him starve. I know the pain of it.

Coopaloop

There are supplements you can get for fiber,does he like weetabix?
You're doing great,don't stress. He will not starve. My little lad when through a faze a while back and refused everything I gave him,the amount of food I threw away. I used to do up a snack tray with a wide variety of foods,fruit,cheese cold cuts,crackers (you can get high fiber ones) veg, and he would gradually move towards it and pick at it,so he was getting something,and drinking milk too. It passed after about 3 weeks.

bp

Maybe try home made fish fingers or nuggets with brown bread as the coating. They are easy to make - first 1000 days has a recipe.

Or banana pancakes.

My 11 month old isn't a potato fan but loves sweet potato. My 3 year old won't eat orange food!

kimokanto

katemarch wrote:

Does it really matter? Are these potatoes and things vital for health? I doubt it...you would know if your child was malnourished and it doesn't sound like it. I always think it is a mistake to use moral or emotional language around food; it is far too easy for food to become an area for triumphant power displays. A good appetite and a range of plain fresh foods is usually enough to ensure good nutrition, in the long run: take it or leave it is a good menu choice! I reared 5 and never forced anyone to eat, but bread, milk and apples were always available if they didnt fancy their dinner. And NO discussion of dislikes or refusals, at the table, ever. Really, they do not starve; keep rubbish out of the diet but otherwise, step away from the conflict, and sit easy.

This is excellent advice. I had a fussy eater until I spotted that it was a power struggle leveraging my parental anxiety. It was doing neither of us any good.
It took a while but staunch it out & don't be so hard on yourself.

LegacyUser

I have a 20 month old who is a reasonably good eater. I was not a great eater myself, and my parents did the whole "sit at the table until you're finished everything" thing. There were no other options offered, mind you. But I still remember being a child and thinking "you can make me sit here as long as you like but I am not eating that".

So with that in mind, I went into weaning my daughter. And adopted a policy of zero fuss. Won't eat it? Fine, it's gone. Nothing else going until the next meal. And mammy is not remotely interested in whether you're eating it or not, she's going to keep eating her own food. (obviously, didn't do that at the start when she was only tiny!!)

My God, there has been days I have to sit on my hands and bite my tongue so badly. But you know what, she's never starved and she's actually quite a good little eater (although weirdly, she's not a big fan of potatoes either).

I do have worried moments where I wonder should I try and "enforce" a bit more, or should I try and get her to eat more stuff. But she will at least try everything in front of her, which is ok I suppose. Even this evening, she was messing around with a pasta dish and I was doing my absolute best to pass no comment because I knew she hadn't eaten much all afternoon. But still, she got a good bit into her. And the one thing I HAVE noticed is that the instant - I mean the MILLISECOND - that anyone says to her "mm, that's yummy isn't it?" or "Or you're so good eating your food" or anything like that - she downs tools and stops. I say nothing and pass no comment until she's finished generally and then tell her she's great or whatever, however grandparents etc cannot be controlled in such a way!!!

On a more scientific note, I got a book that was recommended to me by the PHN when she was 9 months old. It's written by Temple St dieticians and it's called "feed your child well". (I've mentioned it on here before). It deals with kids and eating habits up to about age 10. It doesn't have recipes or anything, but deals with what should be in the diet from birth, and then problems like reflux, constipation, fussy eaters etc. I can't remember exactly the detail but I did glance at it again recently and they do say that fussy eating is a totally normal phase and they suggest a few ways to deal with it, most of which have been suggested here, like:

Don't make a fuss out of it.
Let them not eat meals for a bit, children will never intentionally starve themselves.
Don't offer options or find ways to get food into them - you will end up turning yourself inside out trying to find new and novel ways to get them to eat stuff and they will often slowly just stop eating all the new and novel things you're doing too (like you're saying with the rice, pasta, couscous etc)
Give a set time to get food in - like say 20-30 mins at dinner - and then that's it. Plate is gone and there's no food available til the next meal. Don't let it drag on endlessly.
Watch the amount of liquid they drink - if they are drinking too much milk/orange/dilute/water, they quite often end up filling up on that and not having enough space/appetite for proper food.

They're some of the suggestions I remember, but if you want to get the book yourself for reference, it's available on Amazon. I found it a worthwhile buy, it's one you dip in and out of.

That's my 2c, hope it helps!!

trixychic

I just want to say thanks for all the helpful replies. I'm glad to hear he's not the only toddler "starving" due to fussy eating.

We have a few family do's this wk and I know he'll be a nightmare to keep happy food wise (apart from at dessert time). I might just order extra bread and keep it to the side for him.

Thanks aswell for the helpful hints and tips. When things get back to normality next wk I'll be starting on all of this. Can't wait. I'll do some research over the few days if I get bored of the family!!

Thanks again.

IvyTheTerrible

My son (just gone four) is generally a great eater. But on days when he's acting up, he'll use refusing food as a way to push our buttons. I try to let it go, as I can see it's a power struggle. He won't starve.

Just a thing for other parents about potatoes: Our pediatrician here told us NOT to start weaning with potatoes as they are hard to digest for babies not used to solids and can cause pain.

(my fella doesn't like potatoes either, we just have to give other carbs)

pwurple

Katemarch and neyite are on the ball.

I had some problems with fussiness with my eldest as she had a very restricted diet as a smallie with allergies. Eggs and nuts were out until she got the all clear at three, but because she had missed the introduction to anything with an egg or that 'may contain nuts' she refused everything from pasta to crackers.

It passed. I think it is that we never ever made a fuss or forced her in any way, and she came around eventually when there was no struggle. I had to tell grandparents and anyone else who fed her not to do airplane, or threats, or promises of desserts etc.


My two year old is currently doing a "NO" to everything except toast. I'm just going to wait it out again.

Also, something i've seen parents do, is reinforce it and make it worse. So at a family event or a restaurant they dive in and swoop stuff off plates saying "freddie doesn't eat x". They are setting that item up to be a lifetime battle for themselves, and reinforcing it over and over again for the child. leave it on the plate and teach the child not to melt down... Or do it out of their sight/earshot. Children can completely forget they used to avoid something after a few months, and will try it again and love it.


So basically, my advice is chill, say nothing, and wait. the conflict makes it worse.

nikpmup

Try hiding the good stuff in things he likes - quinoa and a little wheat bran in his porridge, grated carrot/courgette in homemade scones or muffins etc. Get him to help make them. As for the power struggle.... I can already tell I'm going to be the world's worst Irish mammy in that regard, so I'd take the very good advice from other posters

scarbouro

javagal wrote: »

Another fussy eater here. We're quite lucky that the food she favours is relatively healthy (roast meats, steaks, casseroles, broccoli and fruit) she also will eat sausages and rashers,plain spaghetti but not penne! And obviously chicken nuggets.

But I just haven't made a big deal if it and kept offering food even though she refused it in the past. She went off mash for weeks but I kept putting it on her plate and now she loves it.
She's also old enough(3.5) to understand that she needs to try things now before she can say she doesn't like them and recently started eating curry, pineapple,pancakes and Greek yogurt.

What they like now, they might love in a few months.

I was a horrible , horrible fussy eater and suffered with impacted bowels from not eating fruit or veg when I was a child. Now the only thing I'm not mad on is seafood and salmon ! So proof we grow put of it !

I'm not trying to be negative but to be fair, your daughter is far from fussy! That's a great variety of foods she likes. We're still stuck on prawns, spaghetti and maybe sweetcorn at a push... Every day!

Shadylou

This situation sounds like me 2 years ago. My son was the fussiest eater in existence! All he would eat was chicken nuggets and plain rice for about 6 months. I was honestly at my wits end and also had the added problem that even if I refused to give him nuggets his dad would take him to mcdonalds every Friday when he hadded access so it really didn't work.

The best advise if got was from my friends grandmother who told me he's playing up to us and and to take the drama out of mealtimes. So for breakfast in gave him the same as me and my daughter and took it way after 30 minutes. Same for lunch and dinner. If he was still sitting there when me and my daughter were finished his plate was taken away as well and I ignored all the tantrums and telling me he didn't like it.

One thing I had to do for my own sanity was to have fruit and sandwiches available to him as I was terrified he would starve. After the first 2 days he started eating the fruit and sandwiches and this went on for about a week when he got rightly sick of sandwiches and started testing his food. Now he's by no means a great eater now but he definitely eats enough and is open enough to trying new things. I make all my sauces from scratch and blend veg in with them to get some hidden veg in

He never has eaten potatoes for me though, he will tolerate sweet potato sometimes

j@utis

I wouldn't be worried about carbs. Carbs aren't essential and some people do very well on low carb diets. Your son gets some carbs from the processed meats he's eating. Probably quite a good bit of carbs because some breaded type of meat dishes have much more carbs that you'd expect. I'd try to get him to eat healthier or home made versions of his favorite meat dishes, i.e. get him to eat good quality meat.

p.s. I envy those with kids who eat meat. Meat is very nutritionally dense, it's great if your child eats it. My 19mo wouldn't eat it in any form unless it's well hidden in sauces, omelets etc. only thing 'meaty' thing he eats is black pudding

Millem

OP I forgot to mention soup! My guy will have soup, it's a great way for getting him to eat veg

eisen1968

Wouldn't worry too much about it. Start worrying when he refuses to eat anything at all.