Online dating

Mister Vain

tomwaterford wrote: »

Surly the big question is....would you judge someone as off who hasn't any real relationship etc...more middling flings etc


For one reason or another

It wouldn't bother me but if someone has never been in a relationship then some people might think they have a problem or wonder why.

Trebor176

Deleted User wrote: »

I will be very honest and say I would wonder if a person of say thirty something and up had never had a serious relationship. Or flings. Nothing.

And I'm approaching 30. Should I be worried?

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

I will be very honest and say I would wonder if a person of say thirty something and up had never had a serious relationship. Or flings. Nothing.

Well I'm 33 and have never had a serious relationship. I just never met anyone that I was serious about I suppose.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

Well I'm 33 and have never had a serious relationship. I just never met anyone that I was serious about I suppose.

I understand that. Yes. Hmm. I am torn on this one. Perhaps I am over thinking it.

I suppose I would be wary if they are scared of commitment or can't communicate their needs or have some other issue which would make being in a relationship with them very difficult. I've been hurt so many times so I need a steady and self-assured hand.

Apologies. It's not my intention to offend anyone.

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

I understand that. Yes. Hmm. I am torn on this one. Perhaps I am over thinking it.

I suppose I would be wary if they are scared of commitment or can't communicate their needs or have some other issue which would make being in a relationship with them very difficult. I've been hurt so many times so I need a steady and self-assured hand.

Apologies. It's not my intention to offend anyone.

No offense taken. It wouldn't bother me if I liked the person, although I would be somewhat curious. It wouldn't be a deal breaker anyway.

Trebor176

Trebor176 wrote: »

And I'm approaching 30. Should I be worried?

No you shouldn't be

Trebor176

Deleted User wrote: »

I understand that. Yes. Hmm. I am torn on this one. Perhaps I am over thinking it.

I suppose I would be wary if they are scared of commitment or can't communicate their needs or have some other issue which would make being in a relationship with them very difficult. I've been hurt so many times so I need a steady and self-assured hand.

Apologies. It's not my intention to offend anyone.

I would like a relationship, yes. But, I'd be afraid that she could be put off, if I did say I hadn't been in a relationship before, which would probably put an end to that. I guess I wasn't confident enough in recent times, or the most sociable, which I regret. However, I want to work on all that. I don't want to be still single this time next year, if possible. Though, I can't expect things to happen just like that.

I don't think I'd be scared of commitment. I would want to take things slow, of course, and I'd hope she would as well. I don't want to make the mistake again of getting a little intense. That's something I seriously regret, however unintentional it was. I've seen the consequences!

Am I ready for a relationship? I'm certainly ready for dating, of course. If things progressed into a relationship over time, I'm sure I'd be ready for it.

Mister Vain

A bigger turn off would be someone who goes from relationship to relationship and hates being single.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

No offense taken. It wouldn't bother me if I liked the person, although I would be somewhat curious. It wouldn't be a deal breaker anyway.

I'd be wary but if all felt right it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me either.

In fact another way of looking at it is a person with no experience may be less battle hardened and therefore more open and excited about dating. Of course again it depends.

I realise my opinion on this seems a little all over the place

fin12

Mister Vain wrote: »

No offense taken. It wouldn't bother me if I liked the person, although I would be somewhat curious. It wouldn't be a deal breaker anyway.

You seem like a very open non judgemental person from other topics that have been discussed here which is really nice, it just seems so many people are so judgemental that you have to have all these other boxes ticked before you even get a chance to show ur personality and the most important thing they just like you for you, it just puts me off the whole thing.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

A bigger turn off would be someone who goes from relationship to relationship and hates being single.

Oh I absolutely agree with you on this. Alarm bells go off for me when I come across a man who always has to be dating, searching, it's very off putting.

Andre 3000

I hate people who feel that one is defined by the relationship they're in and single people are somehow inferior and deranged. My mates GF is a c*nt for it and she's so snobby about it. She's always trying to take the piss out of me for being single when women are brought up and I always just reply "you'd be single too if you were enjoying single life as much as me" and she always just looks dumb at me. It completely gets on her tits too when I'm seen with some random girl, which I have no clue why. I got with one of her friends once casually like and she was bull thick over it. Sometimes I wonder how the f*ck my buddy puts up with her sh*t.

fin12

fin12 wrote: »

You seem like a very open non judgemental person from other topics that have been discussed here which is really nice, it just seems so many people are so judgemental that you have to have all these other boxes ticked before you even get a chance to show ur personality and the most important thing they just like you for you, it just puts me off the whole thing.

I think it is naive to assume that people don't have traits or beliefs which matter to them in a partner, be that a shared political belief system, similar morals, background etc.
For example I will never date a person who leans to the right on matters of same sex marriage, who believes your IQ determines how much love you are capable of giving, who is intolerant to difference.

I will judge the shít out of anyone who holds such views.

La.de.da

Mister Vain wrote: »

So what's the longest relationship you guys have been in?

8.5 years.

La.de.da

La.de.da wrote: »

8.5 years.

Today is day one of your new relationship!

fin12

Deleted User wrote: »

I think it is naive to assume that people don't have traits or beliefs which matter to them in a partner, be that a shared political belief system, similar morals, background etc.
For example I will never date a person who leans to the right on matters of same sex marriage, who believes your IQ determines how much love you are capable of giving, who is intolerant to difference.

I will judge the shít out of anyone who holds such views.

I'm talking about living up to societies expectations therefore when you are out dating a lot of people will be judging you on those expectations so if you do not live up to those expectations, I think it's quite hard to date.

wakka12

PandaX9 wrote: »

Bordering on two years but we had known each other for over ten. But I'm only young so it's not a big deal. To my great detriment, I've had a relationship lasting a grand total of almost a month with more feeling than a relationship of a year.

I don't tend to compare my past to my present though, I figure the right person(s) will come and go from my life and it'll all be an adventure you know?

I really don't think time should have any influence on how deep you get in a relationship, or how much you like a person. I hate feeling like I should love somebody more just because I know them a long time, or that my best friends should only be the ones Ive had the longest . Or that a recently made friend who Im mad about isn't a good friend just because Ive known them for only 3 or 4 months

La.de.da

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Today is day one of your new relationship!

With myself :P

Carpel tunnel setting in nicely :eek:

fin12

fin12 wrote: »

I'm talking about living up to societies expectations therefore when you are out dating a lot of people will be judging you on those expectations so if you do not live up to those expectations, I think it's quite hard to date.

It won't just be dating that you will find difficult if you try to live up to societies expectations of you.

I do see where you are coming from but it's a case of being aware that people will always have opinions and judgements and living your life regardless.

La.de.da

La.de.da wrote: »

With myself :P

Carpel tunnel setting in nicely :eek:

No silly! With me!!

Andre 3000

wakka12 wrote: »

I really don't think time should have any influence on how deep you get in a relationship, or how much you like a person. I hate feeling like I should love somebody more just because I know them a long time, or that my best friends should only be the ones Ive had the longest . Or that a recently made friend who Im mad about isn't a good friend just because Ive known them for only 3 or 4 months

Agree 100%. Some of the most emotional and memorable moments I have had with women are with those I met only a few hours previously and never spoke to again after the next morning. I swear there's nothing that makes me feel like an emotional living human than a seriously deep conversation with a person whose second name is a mystery. I feel like there's no sense of shame and you can let it all on the line. It's like therapy for me at times. You might think it's sad I cannot confide in friends but I can if I really need to, I just choose not to with the random thoughts about life that float around my head.

Shint0

Mister Vain wrote: »

So what's the longest relationship you guys have been in?

Married for 6 years but I will end up serving a life sentence at some stage I should probably take that back. Some of my premonitions often have a scary habit of coming true

La.de.da

Shint0 wrote: »

Married for 6 years but I will end up serving a life sentence at some stage I should probably take that back. Some of my premonitions often have a scary habit of coming true

You might get a life sentence with the right person though


Edit: if I'm reading that in the right context

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

I will judge the shít out of anyone who holds such views.

Is that not a very right wing approach?

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Is that not a very right wing approach?

The fact that I would judge people for holding some extreme right wing views?

Lyaiera

Judging people is right wing. The left wing have to tolerate their intolerance. It's the rules.

Lyaiera

Lyaiera wrote: »

Judging people is right wing. The left wing have to tolerate their intolerance. It's the rules.

Ah see this is why I don't subscribe to such labels.

I do hold some views that may be considered right wing but to me they are just my beliefs. Same as how I feel that people should be able to love and marry whoever they wish and women should have full bodily autonomy. They are beliefs. Nothing more.

Shint0

La.de.da wrote: »

You might get a life sentence with the right person though

I might. If I ever get banged up I could always sign up to an online dating inmates website. It has a certain allure for some.

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

I do hold some views that may be considered right wing but to me they are just my beliefs. Same as how I feel that people should be able to love and marry whoever they wish and women should have full bodily autonomy. They are beliefs. Nothing more.

Beliefs are perfectly fine to have (doesn't mean I come close to agreeing with someone just because they have a belief), it's the "judge the sh*t out of" that I was curious about.

It's where my boards ID came from. I'm interested in the thought process before I form an opinion on someone else's viewpoint.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Beliefs are perfectly fine to have (doesn't mean I come close to agreeing with someone just because they have a belief), it's the "judge the sh*t out of" that I was curious about.

It's where my boards ID came from. I'm interested in the thought process before I form an opinion on someone else's viewpoint.

That is fair enough