Online dating

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Witchie wrote: »

I understand that but you got to see it from the other side where you are not sure who you are talking to and if they are legit.

I'd rather do it face to face. Their Facebook could be a collection of a load of fake add friends. I'd take serious offence to having to "prove myself" before even getting as far as a first date and where I wouldn't have given any reason for them to assume I wasn't being honest with them.
That's them projecting their issues/insecurities onto me

Witchie

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'd rather do it face to face. Their Facebook could be a collection of a load of fake add friends. I'd take serious offence to having to "prove myself" before even getting as far as a first date and where I wouldn't have given any reason for them to assume I wasn't being honest with them.
That's them projecting their issues/insecurities onto me

I hear ya. It's just in some cases it is not always possible to meet face to face quickly. There may be family issues, distance, work etc. So you don't want to get too involved with them if you are not sure who they are.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You'll never be sure who they are until you meet face to face it's the risk with online dating

cantdecide

Witchie wrote: »

I hear ya. It's just in some cases it is not always possible to meet face to face quickly. There may be family issues, distance, work etc. So you don't want to get too involved with them if you are not sure who they are.

Exactly. I'd be afraid my wife would find out, for one.

Mister Vain

Would a skype chat not be a better idea? That way you can see the person and verify they're real instead of asking for personal information.

Witchie

cantdecide wrote: »

Exactly. I'd be afraid my wife would find out, for one.

Ha ha!

I know what you are saying Lexie but I feel a little uncomfortable meeting someone unless am sure that they are who they are.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Witchie wrote: »

Ha ha!

I know what you are saying Lexie but I feel a little uncomfortable meeting someone unless am sure that they are who they are.

And not for any money would I add someone on my social media where my friends and family are, that I didn't know face to face.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Just feels like potentially both sides are missing out

Witchie

LexieOnRale wrote: »

And not for any money would I add someone on my social media where my friends and family are, that I didn't know face to face.

Oh god, I wouldn't add them on social media, but would allow them to see my profile is real. I have it locked down but my profile pictures are available to be seen.

Jaysus, would have to be in a relationship before would add them.

Andre 3000

Mister Vain wrote: »

Would a skype chat not be a better idea? That way you can see the person and verify they're real instead of asking for personal information.

I'm telling you the spoon pic is the easiest solution to all this. It's nipped countless catfishes in the bud and verified quite a few insanely attractive women. And best of all, if one were so inclined to trawl the depths of my online dating history, you'd find several pictures of women posing for a picture holding up a spoon :pac:

tomwaterford

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You'll never be sure who they are until you meet face to face it's the risk with online dating

It'll in reality be no riskier than meeting someone on a night out and your judgement impared



Though I do think online dating folks should be careful only meet in public places etc

PandaX9

Regarding the whole cat fishing vs anonymity discussion going on here. It's something I don't encounter too often. I solely use tinder and by definition you have to have a Facebook account (be it your personal one or other) to use tinder. My tinder is also linked to my Instagram because it was public anyway and is nothing more than a collection of pictures of clouds to be honest.

The guy I'm currently texting struck a bit of a nerve with me on this very topic.

Tinder:
Guy: you seem cool. added you on Instagram!
Me: blah blah blah comversation
Guy: can I add you on snapchat?
Me: blah blah blah sure

Snapchat:
We had been snapping a bit back and fourth
Guy: send me a photo of yourself!
Me: eh.. Do you always make such demands of people?
Guy: can I add you on Facebook?
Me: to be honest, my Facebook would be quite private as I use it for college and family and other reasons
Guy: I've been catfished before
Me: .... You have both my snapchat and my Instagram. I'm pretty sure that's enough proof of me being an actual person
Guy: blah blah blah catfished story blah blah
Me: I don't really feel comfortable
Guy; I don't feel comfortable either why don't you feel comfortable?
Me: if you insist on knowing, I used to have a stalker on Facebook. For this reason I'm not comfortable with accepting people unless I've met them face to face.
Guy: yeah but.. I'm not a stalker
Me: I'm not a catfish. Same reasoning, only reverse.


Obviously a very poor run down of our conversation on that topic (I am half asleep)z Let it slide on just this one instance because I liked him anyway but my jaysus if someone else were to feel entitled to my private details and feel suspicious of me for not complying I would send them packing.

I've just read back over the anonymity chat and Jaysus you are all doing an awful lot of thinking. I'm even annoyed at my own posts.

So much suspicion and paranoia. An added layer on to the already made complicated nature of online dating.

KomradeBishop

Mister Vain wrote: »

Really? Is that not a bit extreme? This sounds like technoparanoia to me. Facebook can spy on me all they want, I've nothing to hide. I rarely post personal stuff on it anyway.

Not really paranoia, no - just imagine a version of Google, except where you can put in a photo, and it will find all photo's of that person across the whole internet (way more powerful than normal image search - does facial/body recognition).

It already exists in limited form (was used to out loads of people on a Russian social networking site), and in the next couple of years at most I'd say, it will become ubiquitous:
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/17/findface-face-recognition-app-end-public-anonymity-vkontakte

So, it's simply not smart to have your picture on the Internet at all anymore really - just take the above example:
Any random person out and about, can take a sly picture of you with their cameraphone, and be able to instantly look you up online - that's the way it will be everywhere soon; as the article says, it will end public anonymity.

Having Facebook and other online social networking accounts, with pictures, won't just affect your online privacy anymore - it will directly affect your privacy out and about in person as well - and the Internet doesn't 'forget' anything, this will have pretty big privacy implications...

jimbobaloobob

Bit late for bolting the stable door now though.

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You'll never be sure who they are until you meet face to face it's the risk with online dating

Ahh but you can never be sure who anyone is when you meet them.
Online, to me, is the exact same as meeting a stranger out anywhere. They can fill you full of lies in either situation!
Or they can be honest.
That's just the chance you take when you take a chance on anyone, anywhere.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Yeah but when you meet someone face to face you know if they're the person in the photo or if the person in the photo was their grandson.

If you meet someone out on a night out you know straight away what you're dealing with.

Personality then afterwards.

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Yeah but when you meet someone face to face you know if they're the person in the photo or if the person in the photo was their grandson.

If you meet someone out on a night out you know straight away what you're dealing with.

Personality then afterwards.

Yea but it doesn't stop them telling you a load of sh1t either!
Tbh, I think there's much difference at all in online & real life

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Oh I know, you don't know what they're telling you.
But in regards to being catfished!

jimbobaloobob

I think you have to look at the pros and cons.
If the cons outweigh the pros for you then online mightn't be worth the trouble for you

La.de.da

Online dating should be a mostly fun and exciting experience.

If it's causing so much hassle for some people maybe they are just not suited to it.

I think also you have to be happy within yourself and have much confidence, If you don't it's something you need to work on first.

Mister Vain

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Any random person out and about, can take a sly picture of you with their cameraphone, and be able to instantly look you up online

So what? What are they going to find? As I said, I've nothing to hide. They can look me up all they want. It doesn't bother me.

OhHiMark

Mister Vain wrote: »

So what? What are they going to find? As I said, I've nothing to hide. They can look me up all they want. It doesn't bother me.

People have a right to privacy even if they have "nothing to hide".

CelticRambler

KikiDee wrote: »

It's reasonable to assume that they will have FB etc but not reasonable to assume they're fake if they don't

My eldest son and I have about twenty FB accounts between us for various non-dating purposes. None of them would be any use to anyone trying to verify our ID, and knowing how easy it is to set up a fake FB account, I wouldn't ever use it as any kind of "certification".

On POF, I've set my "first message" limit to 50 characters, so that weeds out the "Hi" messages, and if I see a too-good-to-be-true photo/profile, I'll run a reverse image search. Most of the TGTBT women turn out to be models and actresses that additional googling suggests are in stable relationships and unlikely to be on POF!

Mister Vain

OhHiMark wrote: »

People have a right to privacy even if they have "nothing to hide".

I never said they don't. I just think deleting every trace of yourself on social media is a bit extreme. If I was that concerned about privacy I wouldn't use the internet at all.

FGR

What irks me is that if I wanted to use Tinder I really can't as although I have a facebook I use it for groups so its basically empty - no pics, no interests or posts.

Does that make me a bad person..? :pac:

I'm sure it would make people suspicious at least..!

FGR

For the record cats are awesome. And I'm a guy. :pac:

If anything I'm looking forward to settling down on a place to live and getting myself a moggie.

And become crazy cat guy. But that's ok.

Mikkl

What's a "catfishy girl"? somebody who seems too young and too attractive to plausibly be interested in you?
What questions do you ask? And what's in it for people pretending to be somebody else? do they ask for your bank details for their sick mother?

Mikkl

FGR wrote: »

For the record cats are awesome. And I'm a guy. :pac:

If anything I'm looking forward to settling down on a place to live and getting myself a moggie.

And become crazy cat guy. But that's ok.

I wish I could just give up and prefer cats. It'd be so much easier. But I tell ya, my cat wouldn't want a relationship with me. He'd be considering his options.

FGR

The mog would need a mother as well as a father. The position is open for applications*..:pac:

*subject to aptitude test, lengthy interview and non filtered photos.

/tumbleweed