Online dating

Ints

what does it mean? lol

thattequilagirl

To give the girl's perspective on your tinder experience, lots of guys send me a message saying "hi" and I rarely reply because he's put no effort in. I've got a variety of interesting photos up and a description that describes my interests - I'll reply to a guy who starts a conversation with me based on a place I've been (from the photos) or what I'm interested in. "Hi" is a lame message.

It also usually comes from a guy who only has one or two photos, often in a group of friends so it's hard to tell which is him, or taken in a bathroom with dodgy lighting. Your profile is your first impression so put a bit of effort in.

Having said all that, I have also considered going down the matchmaker route. I think it's probably a lot less effort than all that swiping and texting with guys who it never goes anywhere with.

I'm almost 28 and most of my friends are coupled up/married, so it's basically a way of getting set up since they don't have many single friends.

I'd consider it.

Speedwell

Hey, Ints, those dating sites are not as easy to use as "hello here I am wanna meet me". You need to write your profile as carefully and with as much thought as you would write your CV. There are plenty of websites online that offer pointers. Don't pay for this advice, rely on the free sites. Run your profile by a trusted female friend to see if anything stands out as weird or wrong. Good luck to you.

Chickarooney

There's an online dating forum on here somewhere. Not for hooking up but for getting information and experiences from other people using these sites.

I saw a thread about in it the feedback forum if you want to check there

Thepoet85

Met my girlfriend on pof. Well be going our two years on Wednesday

thattequilagirl

Also, you'd be amazed at the amount of men who claim to have gone to the Derek Zoolander School for Kids... It's not cute.

Also I immediately swipe no on guys who write "Don't match me if you're not going to reply" - If you're telling me what to do before we've even matched, I'm definitely not interested.

Ints

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Also, you'd be amazed at the amount of men who claim to have gone to the Derek Zoolander School for Kids... It's not cute.

Also I immediately swipe no on guys who write "Don't match me if you're not going to reply" - If you're telling me what to do before we've even matched, I'm definitely not interested.

Have no idea what's Derek Zoolander School for Kids

thattequilagirl

Ints wrote: »

Have no idea what's Derek Zoolander School for Kids

It's from the movie Zoolander. The Derek Zoolander school for kids who want to read good and do other stuff good too.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Buzzers institute of further education, school of hard knocks, university of life. You see it so often that it just gets tedious.

ancapailldorcha

Threads merged.

thattequilagirl

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Buzzers institute of further education, school of hard knocks, university of life. You see it so often that it just gets tedious.

Quotes from Anchorman are also a no no.

The movie is at least ten years old and if you're still quoting it, you're not for me!

Hombre Lobo

Ints wrote: »

if you see someone likes u and want to chat with you but when you send simple Hi how are you no one actually responds lol.

You need to do better than a simple "hi, how are you" message. Most of the free dating sites probably have three to four times the number of males than females so they are getting that message probably 10 - 20 times a day.
Ask her/him about something interesting in their profile drescription or photos....but still be prepared for no reply.

razorblunt

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Quotes from Anchorman are also a no no.

The movie is at least ten years old and if you're still quoting it, you're not for me!

Well, that escalated quickly.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Quotes from Anchorman are also a no no.

The movie is at least ten years old and if you're still quoting it, you're not for me!

Goes the opposite way too. I've put thought & effort into interesting, semi-witty opening messages, and gotten back "lol. Hw u?"

Lyaiera

Hombre Lobo wrote: »

You need to do better than a simple "hi, how are you" message. Most of the free dating sites probably have three to four times the number of males than females so they are getting that message probably 10 - 20 times a day.
Ask her/him about something interesting in their profile drescription or photos....but still be prepared for no reply.

I'll respond to a "Hi!" if someone has their profile filled out and there's something there I think I can talk about. But 90% of the time I get just a "hi" there's nothing in their profile, maybe, "I like going to the pub and doing the usual things on a Friday night."

fatknacker

Ints wrote: »

if you see someone likes u and want to chat with you but when you send simple Hi how are you no one actually responds lol.

You're probably going to get a lot of different opinions and advice, but for me if I see a message with either "u" instead of "you" or a "lol", then I'm more likely to dismiss it. Call it awful snobbery if you will. That's just how I roll from experience.

Tell me how

fatknacker wrote:

You're probably going to get a lot of different opinions and advice, but for me if I see a message with either "u" instead of "you" or a "lol", then I'm more likely to dismiss it. Call it awful snobbery if you will. That's just how I roll from experience.

It's funny the small little things that can annoy us. I'd be similar to you with respect to getting ticked off by the above. Such a small thing to actually rule someone out over.

Chickarooney

fatknacker wrote: »

You're probably going to get a lot of different opinions and advice, but for me if I see a message with either "u" instead of "you" or a "lol", then I'm more likely to dismiss it. Call it awful snobbery if you will. That's just how I roll from experience.

English mother****er. Do you speak it?

I guess pulp fiction quotes are outdated now too.

So sad

KomradeBishop

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Goes the opposite way too. I've put thought & effort into interesting, semi-witty opening messages, and gotten back "lol. Hw u?"

Yea the way standards are applied don't seem to go both ways, there are double standards in place for sure - it's a simple fact of some people being able to be hyper-judgemental and being able to discard others for petty reasons (i.e. having pretty shítty standards on how they treat/judge other people), while being able to be highly demanding of other peoples standards themselves - all of this, simply because of the numbers disparity, i.e. because they can.

So I get the feeling more and more, that these websites actually are imparting certain kinds of hyper-judgemental attitudes onto some of the people that use them, maybe even without them being fully aware of this - and that such websites might actually have an unhealthy effect on many peoples attitudes, that gets translated into how they interact with people in real life too (including e.g. treating others as 'disposable' as such - lacking common courtesy).

I dunno, could be wrong - maybe I'm just noticing the people who are like that anyway...but I have noticed from acquaintances before, hearing the way some people talk about others on such sites, and about people they meet/see out and about - seemingly normal otherwise decent people develop a kind of cúntish quickness to judge, which is not nice to see - it's really confusing/off-putting.

coffee_cake

Ints wrote: »

Hi, guys,
Who has recent success stories using online dating sites?
Or who has used Matchmaker services in Ireland and did it work?

I am 34 young lad average looking.
Got divorced while ago and trying get back in to dating world but so far using Tinder or Badoo, okcupid etc - not getting any response - if you see someone likes u and want to chat with you but when you send simple Hi how are you no one actually responds lol.
Any non scamming websites?

Thanks

That's possibly because you put in zero effort or indication you may have actually read their profile. You could've sent that to anyone. Where's it gonna go from there?

I'm going to be very honest here.

If I receive a message along the lines of "Hi hw r u lol" then I'm going to make a negative judgement of the sender's intelligence.

Jack Killian

Lights On wrote: »

Did it for a while a few years ago, had a few dates, got a few rides but nothing more than that ever came out of it. Have some horror stories too which kind of put me off using sites again!

Surely the same would apply to meeting someone "offline" in a bar or elsewhere ?

The only way of pre-weeding is to have known someone beforehand or through someone, and then you're in potential "friendzone" territory.

It's hardly the medium that's at fault, is it ?

12Phase

Tell me how wrote: »

It's funny the small little things that can annoy us. I'd be similar to you with respect to getting ticked off by the above. Such a small thing to actually rule someone out over.

I got "dat is so funny. Wot R u up 2 2day?" ... I don't care how amazing and hot they are .. Noooooo!

It's not 1999 on a Nokia 5110!

armaghlad

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Quotes from Anchorman are also a no no.

The movie is at least ten years old and if you're still quoting it, you're not for me!

Dafuq is wrong with you?

armaghlad

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Buzzers institute of further education, school of hard knocks, university of life. You see it so often that it just gets tedious.

"Full time mammy and loving it"

Foxtrol

bluewolf wrote: »

That's possibly because you put in zero effort or indication you may have actually read their profile. You could've sent that to anyone. Where's it gonna go from there?

I mentioned this earlier in the thread but I find comments like this really ironic. I hear a lot of women complaining about the ‘Hi, how are you?’ introduction messages on dating apps, when at the same time on Bumble I’d say at least 95% of the messages I receive from women are along those lines (on Bumble women have to message the guy first when you match).

From my experience, women who complain about these messages rarely, if ever, message first if they match with a guy. In the case of tinder and other matching apps, I really get the feeling these women are more on them for an ego boost, rather than actually looking to date.

armaghlad

Foxtrol wrote: »

I mentioned this earlier in the thread but I find comments like this really ironic. I hear a lot of women complaining about the ‘Hi, how are you?’ introduction messages on dating apps, when at the same time on Bumble I’d say at least 95% of the messages I receive from women are along those lines (on Bumble women have to message the guy first when you match).

From my experience, women who complain about these messages rarely, if ever, message first if they match with a guy. In the case of tinder and other matching apps, I really get the feeling these women are more on them for an ego boost, rather than actually looking to date.

I'd have to second that. Bumble is awful and I rarely used it, had about 4 or 5 matches. 1 or 2 would say hi, presumably to keep their number of matches up and then never reply again. I really wonder did the people behind bumble ever use Tinder?

I'd say there a large number of people who use online dating in general as an ego boast, in fact I was one of them I had c.2000 matches on tinder the first time I had it after I split with the ex. That's when it was actually a bit of fun to use it, now it's riddled with bots.

Cupcake_Crisis

I downloaded Bumble at my housemates behest. I bloody hate it. I'm not great for making the first move. My go to opener is the GIF of the bear waving hello....

FYI, Bumble was created by a woman who had an input in creating Tinder but had leave due to a sexual harassment lawsuit. Apparently.

KomradeBishop

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Yea the way standards are applied don't seem to go both ways, there are double standards in place for sure - it's a simple fact of some people being able to be hyper-judgemental and being able to discard others for petty reasons (i.e. having pretty shítty standards on how they treat/judge other people), while being able to be highly demanding of other peoples standards themselves - all of this, simply because of the numbers disparity, i.e. because they can.

So I get the feeling more and more, that these websites actually are imparting certain kinds of hyper-judgemental attitudes onto some of the people that use them, maybe even without them being fully aware of this - and that such websites might actually have an unhealthy effect on many peoples attitudes, that gets translated into how they interact with people in real life too (including e.g. treating others as 'disposable' as such - lacking common courtesy).

I dunno, could be wrong - maybe I'm just noticing the people who are like that anyway...but I have noticed from acquaintances before, hearing the way some people talk about others on such sites, and about people they meet/see out and about - seemingly normal otherwise decent people develop a kind of cúntish quickness to judge, which is not nice to see - it's really confusing/off-putting.

Just to give more input on this: I wasn't specifically talking about the short "Hi how are you?" or txt speak messages with the above (even though the post I replied to, was referencing that).

J Mysterio

thattequilagirl wrote: »

To give the girl's perspective on your tinder experience, lots of guys send me a message saying "hi" and I rarely reply because he's put no effort in.

But he did take the time to say hello? So you would ignore that message even if you liked the look of someone? You could always say 'hi' back.