Online dating

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think Aongus and I would get along very well.

In other news I was on the train earlier and thought feck it I will attempt conversation with yer man sitting across from me. His response was "I don't like to converse on trains".

Ah well.

It could have been so romantic like that film Sliding Doors or some shyte like that. An attractive woman smiled at me in the train station recently and then hopped on the dart. She sat at the window and continued to smile at me as the train drove away. I thought "feck if only I was going the same way."

thattequilagirl

I was on a bus once when a cute builder guy got on. As he sat down he dropped his phone. Cute girl sitting across from him picks it up and goes to hand it to him. He says "Put your phone number in it first" and she did. It was adorable. I think you have to be under 25 and cute for that to happen though.

PandaX9

The Raptor wrote: »

Does anyone ever find anyone they click with?

Yes. I've been single since late 2014 and have been using Tinder intermittently since. I'm a college student and I find that my most active bouts are at the beginning or end of every semester, why that is I don't know.

I've been on many dates with a heap of people aged 22-28 that I probably would have never met otherwise as well as gotten to know lots of interesting people. I actually met one of my best friends on Tinder, life got in the way of ever arranging a first date so we just naturally became friends and I think he forgets that we ever met on Tinder. Come to think of it Tinder was also the initial introduction for one of my other friends also..

Having said that, none of my dates have produced lasting relationships other than friendships for a multitude of reasons. The one thing I absolutely detest is "ghosting", I think it speaks volumes about a persons character. There is nothing "awkward" about telling someone that you don't think there was chemistry between you, and that you wish them well. Provided that you're polite and respectful to the person of course. Obviously that's not a Tinder issue but more of a trend in how people interact with each other these days. Call me old fashioned but I think it's the height of rudeness.

I'm actually going on a couple of "Tinder dates" (why do people call it that? We met on tinder, we're going on a date. It's just a date??) which I haven't done in a while so that's exciting.

I do think it's important to put up a quick bio on your profile as well as having photographs that aren't the tiresome "Where's Wally in a group photo of seven" and effectively the same selfie but with different outfits.

Having said that, you do come across the messages that have only had cavemen-like thought processes behind them such as "blah blah blah want to bang?" (Not terrible as at least they're being transparent) or the god awful silent version with the following order of emojis: finger pointing right, thumb and index finger together, water droplets. Occasionally that will be followed by the tongue out-winky face emoji. Gross. Though it's a blessing in disguise, it's like an accelerated natural selection to show me which people to avoid.

Superhero1993

PandaX9 wrote: »

Yes. I've been single since late 2014 and have been using Tinder intermittently since. I'm a college student and I find that my most active bouts are at the beginning or end of every semester, why that is I don't know.

I've been on many dates with a heap of people aged 22-28 that I probably would have never met otherwise as well as gotten to know lots of interesting people. I actually met one of my best friends on Tinder, life got in the way of ever arranging a first date so we just naturally became friends and I think he forgets that we ever met on Tinder. Come to think of it Tinder was also the initial introduction for one of my other friends also..

Having said that, none of my dates have produced lasting relationships other than friendships for a multitude of reasons. The one thing I absolutely detest is "ghosting", I think it speaks volumes about a persons character. There is nothing "awkward" about telling someone that you don't think there was chemistry between you, and that you wish them well. Provided that you're polite and respectful to the person of course. Obviously that's not a Tinder issue but more of a trend in how people interact with each other these days. Call me old fashioned but I think it's the height of rudeness.

I'm actually going on a couple of "Tinder dates" (why do people call it that? We met on tinder, we're going on a date. It's just a date??) which I haven't done in a while so that's exciting.

I do think it's important to put up a quick bio on your profile as well as having photographs that aren't the tiresome "Where's Wally in a group photo of seven" and effectively the same selfie but with different outfits.

Having said that, you do come across the messages that have only had cavemen-like bought processes behind them such as "blah blah blah want to bang?" (Not terrible as at least they're being transparent) or the god awful silent version with the following order of emojis: finger pointing right, thumb and index finger together, water droplets. Occasionally that will be followed by the tongue out-winky face emoji. Gross. Though it's a blessing in disguise, it's like an accelerated natural selection to show me which people to avoid.

I'm beginning to think I'm not good looking cos I genuinely want to get to know the women online. Like i want to know which Superhero is her favourite when she dresses up for conventions, what movie genres does she like, what the favourite of her listed sports etc but all are non impotant as I never get a reply. Just gets boring.

tomwaterford

Superhero1993 wrote: »

I'm beginning to think I'm not good looking cos I genuinely want to get to know the women online. Like i want to know which Superhero is her favourite when she dresses up for conventions, what movie genres does she like, what the favourite of her listed sports etc but all are non impotant as I never get a reply. Just gets boring.

I do think sometimes some wans...do put in extra interests etc to bulk out the profile abit/make it stand out more than just have going drinking/shopping/food as hobbies


Kinda like lying on a cv for work...(though I guess chaps do this aswell???)

smash

Superhero1993 wrote: »

I'm beginning to think I'm not good looking cos I genuinely want to get to know the women online. Like i want to know which Superhero is her favourite when she dresses up for conventions, what movie genres does she like, what the favourite of her listed sports etc but all are non impotant as I never get a reply. Just gets boring.

Maybe don't ask that question...

PandaX9

Superhero1993 wrote: »

I'm beginning to think I'm not good looking cos I genuinely want to get to know the women online. Like i want to know which Superhero is her favourite when she dresses up for conventions, what movie genres does she like, what the favourite of her listed sports etc but all are non impotant as I never get a reply. Just gets boring.

Aside from the dress up one, unless that's already been brought up in conversation - I love those questions! I feel like I'm every guys worst tinder nightmare - not into casual sex at all, isn't uncomfortable with saying what I feel (as diplomatically as possible while being direct - no need to be disrespectful to others) and love having actual conversations other than "hi. How u?". One of the guys I'm going on a date with actually engaged me in a sort of game of twenty questions and it's probably one of the more enlightening conversations I've had in ages... How sad is that :pac: ?

all I can say is, as long as you're not immediately diving in at the deep end, keep at it and you'll find someone who'll reciprocate . I think it's harder to "click" with people when the dating scene is so impatient - people are just a swipe away, people are holding out for someone "better", people can be shallow etc.

Dial Hard

I Am Justice82 wrote:

Regards to some people not have photos on their profiles, the only site or app Id feel comfortable letting someone see a real life photo of me would be Snapchat, as the person you send the photo to can only see it for a few seconds, when I did briefly try some dating sites I never felt comfortable having my photo up, likewise even with Facebook I don,t use any photo of myself on my profle pic, the way Id phrase it is some people are kinda ok having a photo up for complete strangers they,l likely never meet to look at, others aren,t and more kinda reserved , has anyone themselves or had any friends that were recognized in real life for being on a dating site ? happened to a friend of mine years ago , we were in the smoking area a woman came over and asked him " are you username on x dating site " he replied he was , he was talking to her for about 2 to 3 mins roughly, later on inside the bar her and her friends were looking over in our direction kinda giggling at him .

The humanity!

I was leaving a bar a couple of years ago and a guy came over and went "Are you *POF username*?" I had deleted my profile a week or two beforehand so replied "I used to be" and he turned to his mates and went "Lads, it is her!" I laughed my head off and went on my merry way.

Honest to God, what is the big deal with people seeing you on an online dating site? As long as you're single then what is anyone afraid of???

armaghlad

Dial Hard wrote: »

The humanity!

I was leaving a bar a couple of years ago and a guy came over and went "Are you *POF username*?" I had deleted my profile a week or two beforehand so replied "I used to be" and he turned to his mates and went "Lads, it is her!" I laughed my head off and went on my merry way.

Honest to God, what is the big deal with people seeing you on an online dating site? As long as you're single then what is anyone afraid of???

Happened me TWICE at the same bar but on two different occasions.

The first occasion was at closing and a taxi bus of girls and I heard the window banging "are you Armaghlad!?" And the second was again at closing, a girl also recognised me from tinder.

Ooooooh and a third time, this one's kinda the same.. matched with a girl from Mayo, who were due to play Donegal in the AI QF last year. We had been chatting away on tinder and found out we were both going to the match and both in the hogan stand. The night before I said sure ill see you tomorrow at the match... sure wasn't she sat a few rows behind :pac:

Karmella

tomwaterford wrote: »

I do think sometimes some wans...do put in extra interests etc to bulk out the profile abit/make it stand out more than just have going drinking/shopping/food as hobbies


Kinda like lying on a cv for work...(though I guess chaps do this aswell???)

I reckon guys definitely do this aswell - nearly every profile I look at has 'hiking' as a interest. Like there's no way that all these guys go out hiking on a regular basis!!

Dr Crayfish

Karmella wrote: »

I reckon guys definitely do this aswell - nearly every profile I look at has 'hiking' as a interest. Like there's no way that all these guys go out hiking on a regular basis!!

Hiking yeah, most people seem to hike all the time if you take POF as a sample of society.
I also get turned off people who list so many interests and outdoors a bit too much, or bang on about the countries they've visited or lived in. So what? Most people have been on holidays to tonnes of places, it doesn't really stand to you that much anymore.
Or anyone who says they're artsy or creative. I guess online dating is good in that you can filter out the stuff you wouldn't go near in real life either.

whiskeyman

Karmella wrote: »

I reckon guys definitely do this aswell - nearly every profile I look at has 'hiking' as a interest. Like there's no way that all these guys go out hiking on a regular basis!!

What man doesn't like exploring big mountains and deep valleys?

:pac:




I think I've mentioned this before, but I wouldn't get hung up on other peoples interests / hobbies etc...
Sure, it may be nice to share some, but you are closing yourself off from what could be a super person to be with.
I've never done online dating, but if I did I would have never gone out with / met any of my previous relationships

smash

whiskeyman wrote: »

I think I've mentioned this before, but I wouldn't get hung up on other peoples interests / hobbies etc...

Exactly. If you have something in common it's good but you need to have different interests too, otherwise you'd never get your own space.

Superhero1993

smash wrote: »

Maybe don't ask that question...

PandaX9 wrote: »

Aside from the dress up one, unless that's already been brought up in conversation - I love those questions! I feel like I'm every guys worst tinder nightmare - not into casual sex at all, isn't uncomfortable with saying what I feel (as diplomatically as possible while being direct - no need to be disrespectful to others) and love having actual conversations other than "hi. How u?". One of the guys I'm going on a date with actually engaged me in a sort of game of twenty questions and it's probably one of the more enlightening conversations I've had in ages... How sad is that :pac: ?

all I can say is, as long as you're not immediately diving in at the deep end, keep at it and you'll find someone who'll reciprocate . I think it's harder to "click" with people when the dating scene is so impatient - people are just a swipe away, people are holding out for someone "better", people can be shallow etc.

To clear up the dress up one. This is in relation to a woman who was a masive fan of cosplay (like dressing up as your favourite characters from movies/video games etc and going to conventions.) Thats the only time I would have asked about that haha I honestly thought that was so cool and asked her about it and of course no reply.

maudgonner

whiskeyman wrote: »

I think I've mentioned this before, but I wouldn't get hung up on other peoples interests / hobbies etc...

Yeah, the only time I would let that put me off is when they explicitly say they're looking for someone who shares the same interests.

Otherwise, no worries. I mean it's not like I expect them to share my passion for capturing woodland creatures and dressing them up like real-life Sylvanian Families.



Maybe I've said too much...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Or someone who's entire life revolves around lifting, protein, paelo, #fitforever
They tend to broadcast that loud and proud.

Dr Crayfish

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Or someone who's entire life revolves around lifting, protein, paelo, #fitforever
They tend to broadcast that loud and proud.

There's a lot of women I see who don't look very fit that just don't shut up about weights and lifting etc in their profiles. It's such a turn off. I'm into fitness myself, in my own time, but I feel like an arse talking about it tbh.

armaghlad

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Or someone who's entire life revolves around lifting, protein, paelo, #fitforever
They tend to broadcast that loud and proud.

Or their love of tattoos, piercings and beards zzzz...

What do people have as their pictures on their OD profiles?

Mine are

1. Me with my dog about 2 weeks ago complete with hoe filter (women love labradors)

2. A photo of me from about 2 years ago (should really stop using it but I think I look good in it)

3. A photo of me from last year out with friends (as above, probably should update)

4. A photo of me with the top off and a trophy (yeah, I know what you're thinking - watch me gaf)

5. One of just the dog (a reminder that she'll always be number one)

6. A pre-5k run selfie from about a week ago (not a posing selfie - more of a chance to show what I look like not all dressed up and posing)

smash

armaghlad wrote: »

6. A pre-5k run selfie from about a week ago (not a posing selfie - more of a chance to show what I look like not all dressed up and posing)

This was a Pete Peve of mine on tinder. Photos from a fun run or hell and back.

Aongus Von Bismarck

Karmella wrote: »

I reckon guys definitely do this aswell - nearly every profile I look at has 'hiking' as a interest. Like there's no way that all these guys go out hiking on a regular basis!!

The prevalence of burgeoning beer bellies flowing over the belt buckles of most Irish men's wrangler jeans bears out your hypothesis that their hiking consists of hiking down to the local pub to watch English soccer whilst slugging back pints of cheap lager.

I'm an avid hiker myself. I spent a wonderful week hiking along the Murtèl - Pontresina trail in Switzerland last summer. A magnificent and challenging experience.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

There's nothing wrong with being into taking care of yourself but if you can't go to the gym without taking a gym selfie, or telling the world about it, then it's too far and it's being a gym bore. A lot of my Facebook friends would be like that. #fitsbo #eatclean #greens #fitforever #strongnotskinny

Each to their own, but if it's ALL someone can talk about, how much they can lift, how "addictive" it is, not being able to take a photo without weights in the background. YAWN.

Just like every young one seems to be putting MUA at the end of their name, every young fella seems to think he's a PT.

My own fella started doing crossfit about a year and a half ago. When he started, he was insufferable, protein balls, protein shakes, coconut oil in his coffee, mince for breakfast. He still does the crossfit 4/5 evenings a week, he eats "clean" enough, he's in serious condition but he's not a pain in the ass about it.

It's possible to enjoy something, live a certain lifestyle and not be an obnoxious ass, and I'm sure lots of people do. Just a select few posers seem to miss the memo.

Dr Crayfish

There's a lot of "I don't have any particular type at all, but if you have tattoos and a beard get in touch!"

As I don't have either, I definitely wouldn't message someone who stamps out their type in a not very clever or subtle way!

armaghlad

LexieOnRale wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with being into taking care of yourself but if you can't go to the gym without taking a gym selfie, or telling the world about it, then it's too far and it's being a gym bore. A lot of my Facebook friends would be like that. #fitsbo #eatclean #greens #fitforever #strongnotskinny

Each to their own, but if it's ALL someone can talk about, how much they can lift, how "addictive" it is, not being able to take a photo without weights in the background. YAWN.

Just like every young one seems to be putting MUA at the end of their name, every young fella seems to think he's a PT.

My own fella started doing crossfit about a year and a half ago. When he started, he was insufferable, protein balls, protein shakes, coconut oil in his coffee, mince for breakfast. He still does the crossfit 4/5 evenings a week, he eats "clean" enough, he's in serious condition but he's not a pain in the ass about it.

It's possible to enjoy something, live a certain lifestyle and not be an obnoxious ass, and I'm sure lots of people do. Just a select few posers seem to miss the memo.

He's doing it wrong

mud

I've never used OD, I joined Tinder for 20 mins then deleted it. I also joined the OD forum on boards but got kicked out for not posting. Boards can be very fecking strange!

I've been thinking about giving it another go but I suspect there's an awful lot of guff to wade through before meeting anyone decent!

Every second profile I come across is of a man with his shirt off standing in front of a mirror in serious pose mode. Complete with duckface and tribal tattoos. Now they tend to have amazing bodies but that kind of guy just ain't for me. I definitely wouldn't be for him with my un-clean living and no sight of a thigh gap.

Then there are the ones who seem to have such amazing lives! "I'm so lucky to be working in my dream job which also allows me lots of time off so I can travel to Machu Picchu once a fortnight and hit up San Fran (yeah that's how I pronounce San Francisco because I'm a douchebag) in between"

Vomit.

MarkAnthony

I met my wife on an OD site. So long ago it was prior to photos; I had one but then I worked in a place that sold digital cameras. I actually think someone should start a site that doesn't allow photos. You might find that chatting away to someone sans physical appearance that you might click, people tend to be a bit more forgiving about minor appearance issues. I realise you still have to find someone physically attractive and sexually compatible but you don't know about that latter until later on so why not delay the former also.

That said I'm beginning to think sexual compatibility is the very first thing people seem to go with in the States which seems to be creeping in over here, that's not necessarily a bad thing but I do think an old fashioned approach to 'love' is what's missing from a lot of people's lives, hence the lack of finding anyone suitable.

While love at first sight happens, the Hollywood myth of 'Wham! I've found the one' is a load of bollocks for 99% of people.

maudgonner

Also, either I'm incredibly bad at judging people's age or there's a hell of a lot of creativity going in in that area.

There's an awful lot of '35 year olds' who've done twenty years worth of hard living, from what I've seen. (And I don't doubt that women are even worse for it than fellas)

smash

MarkAnthony wrote: »

I met my wife on an OD site. So long ago it was prior to photos; I had one but then I worked in a place that sold digital cameras. I actually think someone should start a site that doesn't allow photos.

Would you like to invest in my online clothes shop that operates solely on unverified descriptions of the products?

maudgonner

MarkAnthony wrote: »

I met my wife on an OD site. So long ago it was prior to photos; I had one but then I worked in a place that sold digital cameras. I actually think someone should start a site that doesn't allow photos. You might find that chatting away to someone sans physical appearance that you might click, people tend to be a bit more forgiving about minor appearance issues. I realise you still have to find someone physically attractive and sexually compatible but you don't know about that latter until later on so why not delay the former also.

Sure that's what Boards is for!