Online dating

Witchie

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Sadly was when I was born lol 22 years old ha Age is only a number tho

True but kinda creeps me out to think you were only a baby, literally, when I gave birth.

Dammit

Superhero1993

Witchie wrote: »

True but kinda creeps me out to think you were only a baby, literally, when I gave birth.

Dammit

You'll find your Mr Right

Mister Vain

Superhero1993 wrote: »

You'll find your Mr Right

In the meantime she can have Mr Vain.

Tell me how

Mister Vain wrote: »

In the meantime she can have Mr Vain.

There's a man who is perfectly comfortable with an inferiority complex.

Weird level of self actualisation achieved. Kudos

Witchie

Ha ha. Now Backwardsman is right up my street if he was a bit more forward.

Augme

LexieOnRale wrote: »

What I would take issue with is a man who'll ride said overweight girl and act like she's good enough to **** but not good enough for anything else. That's being a dick. He either likes her or he doesn't. If he doesn't then he should leave her alone.

Isn't this what most friends with benefits situations are though? Generally it's a situation where people don't deem that person good enough to have a serious relationship with. ONS would follow a similar pattern.

Hombre Lobo

Does anyone get any grief for asking a lady if she has children?
I've had one or two older women message me and I wanted to know if they had children as it wasn't specified.
They lost the head with me, saying if I hate children and 'so what if I have?!'

I have no problem with children, I love my young nieces to bits but if I had a preference when meeting a girl it would be one with no kids, rather than one with as there's probably a bit more flexibility in planning dates and doing other things when one is without.

It's put me off even asking anymore.

Witchie

Augme wrote: »

Isn't this what most friends with benefits situations are though? Generally it's a situation where people don't deem that person good enough to have a serious relationship with. ONS would follow a similar pattern.

Not necessarily true. For the most part my fwb were because I really didn't have time for a relationship or didn't want to drag men in and out of my kids lives so was happy to just get my needs met by someone I trusted until I was in a positionto have a full on relationship. 1 or 2 of them I would have loved to have had a proper relationship with, others I was happy to be friends with.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Augme wrote: »

Isn't this what most friends with benefits situations are though? Generally it's a situation where people don't deem that person good enough to have a serious relationship with. ONS would follow a similar pattern.

I've had plenty of friends with benefits (well, not plenty) but it had nothing to do with them not being good enough. They were at times where I wasn't emotionally ready to be in a relationship, where I was still in love with my ex, when I had to take care of my terminally ill parent and was an absolute space cadet with nothing positive to add to a relationship.

I've never had a friends with benefits situation where I'd make fun of them, think they were awful people, keep them a secret, be ashamed to let them meet my friends, or be too ashamed to go on dates with them in day light. They just weren't what I was looking for long term and infact I'm still very good friends with two of them

Witchie

Hombre Lobo wrote: »

Does anyone get any grief for asking a lady if she has children?
I've had one or two older women message me and I wanted to know if they had children as it wasn't specified.
They lost the head with me, saying if I hate children and 'so what if I have?!'

I have no problem with children, I love my young nieces to bits but if I had a preference when meeting a girl it would be one with no kids, rather than one with as there's probably a bit more flexibility in planning dates and doing other things when one is without.

It's put me off even asking anymore.

I hear ya. My kids are adults now so I really don't want to go back to being mammy to someone else's kids so my ideal is a guy with no kids or grown up kids.

At this stage in my life I am planning on travelling and possibly settling abroad so if I met someone with kids it just wouldn't work long term. In fact I dated a lovely guy before Christmas and this was a problem for us. He has a young daughter so he ended things so that we didn't get serious about each other as he would never leave his little girl and I need adventure.

I would have zero respect for a guy who neglected his kids so I can't ask them to come travelling with me. My sons don't have a proper dad so I could never forgive a man who doesn't try to be in their kids lives.

Superhero1993

Feck it, Im sick of this single stuff. A single 22 year old male. A gentleman, genuine, romantic, loves kisses and cuddles. Needs a woman to spoil. Hit me up.

Superhero1993

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Feck it, Im sick of this single stuff. A single 22 year old male. A gentleman, genuine, romantic, loves kisses and cuddles. Needs a woman to spoil. Hit me up.

It would be great if men my own age were as open to love as you Superhero

Superhero1993

Deleted User wrote: »

It would be great if men my own age were as open to love as you Superhero

Haha I genuinely have so much love to give. My female friends have told me im very different to most guys my age they know.

PandaX9

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Feck it, Im sick of this single stuff. A single 22 year old male. A gentleman, genuine, romantic, loves kisses and cuddles. Needs a woman to spoil. Hit me up.

... Where are you based?

Witchie

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Haha I genuinely have so much love to give. My female friends have told me im very different to most guys my age they know.

You sound like my 18yr old. Last year he told me how he craves just cuddling up on the sofa with a gf. He met someone a few months later and they are very happy and loved up.

Am glad my bad experiences haven't made him cynical about love. I put it down to my 70 yr old parents being so much in love and always holding hands and cuddling. He sees this and am sure it has impacted.

You sound a lovely young man and whoever gets ya will be a lucky woman/man.

Karmella

This is what worries me about trying to date now .... My children are really young and if I'm realistic I don't have a whole lot of time to give as I'm also working almost full time. My ex is completely unreliable and I've had to cancel dates and the poor guys who are trying to meet me will only be so patient.

Maybe I'm being selfish but all I want is someone to share what little free time I have with, to go for dinner or drinks or even just a walk. And of course the physical side of it too
I'm not looking for a replacement dad certainly. In fact I've been chatting online to guys who already have kids, but some of them are like Witchie in that their kids are grown up and I can totally understand why they'd run a mile from my situation.

What do I do?

Superhero1993

PandaX9 wrote: »

... Where are you based?

South Donegal

Superhero1993

Witchie wrote: »

You sound like my 18yr old. Last year he told me how he craves just cuddling up on the sofa with a gf. He met someone a few months later and they are very happy and loved up.

Am glad my bad experiences haven't made him cynical about love. I put it down to my 70 yr old parents being so much in love and always holding hands and cuddling. He sees this and am sure it has impacted.

You sound a lovely young man and whoever gets ya will be a lucky woman/man.

Aww you sweetheart. Thanks

tomwaterford

Karmella wrote: »

This is what worries me about trying to date now .... My children are really young and if I'm realistic I don't have a whole lot of time to give as I'm also working almost full time. My ex is completely unreliable and I've had to cancel dates and the poor guys who are trying to meet me will only be so patient.

Maybe I'm being selfish but all I want is someone to share what little free time I have with, to go for dinner or drinks or even just a walk. And of course the physical side of it too
I'm not looking for a replacement dad certainly. In fact I've been chatting online to guys who already have kids, but some of them are like Witchie in that their kids are grown up and I can totally understand why they'd run a mile from my situation.

What do I do?

Ask them folks you've been talking to...without assuming they'd run?

PandaX9

Superhero1993 wrote: »

South Donegal

Damn, would have hit you up on snapchat. I'm in Dublin. 21, student.

Superhero1993

PandaX9 wrote: »

Damn, would have hit you up on snapchat. I'm in Dublin. 21, student.

Only 2 hours away?

I do believe that the older we get the harder it can be to open ourselves up. Now this isn't the case for every single person but we have experiences and they leave their mark. There's only so much rejection one can take or not even rejection but the disappointment of things just not working out.

Our past leaves little footprints on our hearts. The business of life can leave us hardened, scared, apprehensive, needy, insecure, uncertain. So I can understand how it might be easier for a person in their early twenties to be more open than someone in their early forties.

Personally I have had many a dark night of the soul. Loss is kind of like a little shadow that lurks behind my heart. But I'll be damned if I let it ruin my chance of happiness in a relationship.

Witchie

Karmella wrote: »

This is what worries me about trying to date now .... My children are really young and if I'm realistic I don't have a whole lot of time to give as I'm also working almost full time. My ex is completely unreliable and I've had to cancel dates and the poor guys who are trying to meet me will only be so patient.

Maybe I'm being selfish but all I want is someone to share what little free time I have with, to go for dinner or drinks or even just a walk. And of course the physical side of it too
I'm not looking for a replacement dad certainly. In fact I've been chatting online to guys who already have kids, but some of them are like Witchie in that their kids are grown up and I can totally understand why they'd run a mile from my situation.

What do I do?

My advice, from being in your position 10 years ago is keep trying. It is difficult but there are men who get it.

What really worked for me was long distance relationships. I went out with guys down the country so that they didn't make demands on my time day to day. We would meet about once a month or every 2 weeks and spend the weekend together when my kids were away at their dads. Or when he was being flaky my parents babysat.

My kids didn't know I had boyfriends as if they met them it was usually with a group of my friends and they were just one of my friends too as far as they were concerned.

My advice is keep your personal life very separate from your family life until you are very sure it is going somewhere and enjoy your kid free time to the maximum.

Good luck. X

armaghlad

Mister Vain wrote: »

This is another thing I've wondered about. Tinder doesn't have all the info of other dating sites so if you're just going by a photo and its a headshot, do you ask about their height?

I state clearly on my tinder profile "6ft and 3 inches"


** two separate measurements :pac:

Lyaiera

I woke up bitter. As bitter as a bitter black coffee. If a baby saw me they'd recoil, and start crying. Michelin starred Chefs enthuse about my bitterness but say it's not for everyone. Grrrr, bitter.

Karmella

Thanks Witchie, great advice! It's nice to hear from someone who's been there.

That was my plan alright, to just meet them when I didn't have the kids or when I had a babysitter- and also to date guys who are in the same boat so they are less likely to make demands.

It's like I'm looking for something that isn't a relationship but isn't just a fwb either. Happy medium

And I should also add that at 40 I'm absolutely definitely not having any more kids either so my POF profile says I have kids and I don't want kids. Strangely though some guys who have no kids and want them still message me ??

I must be hot lol.

I was just having a look through some guy's answers to the match questions on okcupid. Many were the complete opposite to my views but one in particular stood out.

If your partner was interested in children sexually would you end the relationship?
Him: "I'm not sure".


Sweet divine Jesus.

PandaX9

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was just having a look through some guy's answers to the match questions on okcupid. Many were the complete opposite to my views but one in particular stood out.

If your partner was interested in children sexually would you end the relationship?
Him: "I'm not sure".

Sweet divine Jesus.

:eek: Christ almighty.

Penny Tration

Witchie wrote: »

Ha ha. Now Backwardsman is right up my street if he was a bit more forward.

Talk about knickers. he'll be very forward :pac:

Elessar

Dunno about anyone else but I'm getting terribly jaded by online dating. Although it's pretty much the only outlet for me (a single 30yr old guy), I'm fed up of texting back and forth only for radio silence after a while, or asking a girl out to just get blanked. Same types of messages, same type of chat. Now I've been doing this a good few years and have had lots of dates in that time, so I suppose you could say I'm used to it. In reality though it's a pain to go through, and I find myself not bothering lately to contact girls - only for the cycle to repeat itself. I've gone all a bit 'meh' on it. Think I need a long break, but then I'm a red blooded male with needs What's a man to do?