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Online dating

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    #1232
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I truly believe you are not alone regarding having a hard past. Weathering personal storms is not a competition. There is no need to "eat those school of hard knocks buffoons"

    Honesty and openness are qualities that I very much value and have. I don't doubt either of us are alone there.

    Small resentment of mine. I'm not competing! I just hate seeing those that think putting it on their profile is some type of badge of honour.

    If I'm honest :-)

    I'd have already messaged yourself if I was truly ready to set out afresh. I like your boardsie persona. ;-)

    I'll do you a deal. When the time comes I'll give you first refusal. I trust you'll let me down gently.


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    #1233
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    armaghlad wrote: »
    finding a fwb is like trying to get blood out of a stone! :pac:

    Are you doing it wrong?! :D


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    #1234
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    FortySeven wrote: »
    Small resentment of mine. I'm not competing! I just hate seeing those that think putting it on their profile is some type of badge of honour.

    If I'm honest :-)

    I'd have already messaged yourself if I was truly ready to set out afresh. I like your boardsie persona. ;-)

    I'll do you a deal. When the time comes I'll give you first refusal. I trust you'll let me down gently.

    Oh stoppittt!! Making me blush! :)


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    #1235
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Oh stoppittt!! Making me blush! :)

    How far?


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    #1236
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Are you doing it wrong?! :D
    Probably!


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    #1237
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    armaghlad wrote: »
    Each to their own. I've had plenty of such "sporadic" encounters. I was meant to have an arrangement with a girl (her suggestion) but I never heard from her again, and I'm not the kind of guy to text a girl twice. Which is a shame because we got on great in the sheets.

    If finding a partner on OD is hard, finding a fwb is like trying to get blood out of a stone! :pac:

    The problem with fwb is that it can be difficult for both involved to follow the rules. It's just sex and nothing more. It can be difficult to continue if one person develops feelings and the other doesn't. So it's easier for most to just not go there.

    They only work when both are absolutely clear about what it is and are equally certain that's all it will be. If one has even a hope of more developing or the beginning of a deeper connection then it's best to stay away.


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    #1238
    Superhero1993
    Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭Superhero1993


    I'd be a guy that wouldn't put much emphasis on sex. Like don't get me wrong, it is very important etc but I prefer the constantly teasing her, kissing the whole time, going away for romantic trips, the cuddled up watching TV, ripping the piss out of each other bowling etc.


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    #1239
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Not a thing wrong with that either. Sex for a lot of people is much better when you know/care about the other person

    This is so true. I don't know how others feel after sex with a person they don't know but I just feel so empty after. Its an unexplainable and very lonely feeling, it could be fine in the heat of the moment but afterwards is always ****. I like being in a relationship a lot more


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    #1240
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    :confused:
    Deleted User wrote: »
    The problem with fwb is that it can be difficult for both involved to follow the rules. It's just sex and nothing more. It can be difficult to continue if one person develops feelings and the other doesn't. So it's easier for most to just not go there.

    They only work when both are absolutely clear about what it is and are equally certain that's all it will be. If one has even a hope of more developing or the beginning of a deeper connection then it's best to stay away.
    I got my heart broken (smashed to pieces) once, though to be fair, I smashed his back just as hard. But apart from that, the one good thing to come out of me being emotionally crippled, is that fact I don't really form bonds with guys I'm sleeping with. If you fall easily, they're probably a horrible nightmare. They're grand for the broken of us though


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    #1241
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    wakka12 wrote: »
    This is so true. I don't know how others feel after sex with a person they don't know but I just feel so empty after. Its an unexplainable and very lonely feeling, it could be fine in the heat of the moment but afterwards is always ****. I like being in a relationship a lot more

    I think it's very easy to separate sex as a physical act from that as something on an emotional level.

    Best shag I ever had was a ONS


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    #1242
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    :confused:

    I got my heart broken (smashed to pieces) once, though to be fair, I smashed his back just as hard. But apart from that, the one good thing to come out of me being emotionally crippled, is that fact I don't really form bonds with guys I'm sleeping with. If you fall easily, they're probably a horrible nightmare. They're grand for the broken of us though
    I'm the same. I am still able to have that connection when you care about someone, which admittedly is one of the best things ever. But I can also just shag a girl and just enjoy it for what it is


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    #1243
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    smash wrote: »
    I think it's very easy to separate sex as a physical act from that as something on an emotional level.

    Best shag I ever had was a ONS

    Its not even the separating it thats the issue its the fact that I get little physical pleasure out of sex with a stranger. Or at least much less than sex with somebody I care about, maybe Im just not experienced or capable enough sexually yet but thats just how it is for me since I started having sex


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    #1244
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    :confused:

    I got my heart broken (smashed to pieces) once, though to be fair, I smashed his back just as hard. But apart from that, the one good thing to come out of me being emotionally crippled, is that fact I don't really form bonds with guys I'm sleeping with. If you fall easily, they're probably a horrible nightmare. They're grand for the broken of us though

    I totally understand this. I can have sex without needing an emotional connection. Like Smash says above I too can just enjoy it for what it is.
    I can see the difficulty for lots of people though and how a friend's with benefits scenario wouldn't suit everyone.


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    #1245
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Yeah, I agree it wouldn't be for everyone but as long as you're both upfront - it could be a sweet deal.
    Here's an awkward question. Is it ok to sleep with a fwbs best friend?


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    #1246
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Yeah, I agree it wouldn't be for everyone but as long as you're both upfront - it could be a sweet deal.
    Here's an awkward question. Is it ok to sleep with a fwbs best friend?

    I think boundaries are important when it comes to fwb's but if everyone was on board with it then why not.


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    #1247
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    It's not even about the emotional connection. It's about feeling safe.

    Yes I agree with all of this. There are many things to consider.


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    #1248
    recylingbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,001 ✭✭✭recylingbin


    PandaX9 wrote: »
    A hat? Like a gentleman's top hat or of the more tin foil variety?

    On an aside, my taxi driver for the night was an absolute whack job and kept telling me that his friend who owns a bar on a beach in Thailand ALSO invented a cream containing "product" that cured his skin melanoma. And then he got me to give my opinion on his miracle invention, and promptly changed his tune to say "now he takes 2ml of it every day and it stops everything. He's cured a guy of stage 4 lung cancer, prostate cancer and even pancreatic" and all I could say was beejaysus that fella has the worst luck in the world so.. I felt like the taxi driver just lucid dreams so much he forgot what's real and what wasn't!

    Yer man has been messaging me on whatsapp all night since I got home. He seems keen, I must have done something right :) huzzah for online dating (for now...)

    Of course.
    Best story ever.
    And yay!!!


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    #1249
    recylingbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,001 ✭✭✭recylingbin


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    When I was single, I had about three "friends" I would alternate between. I knew them all a really long time. Two of them are still good friends of mine. It was much easier for me to text one of them to come over, because at least then I didn't have to bother putting on makeup.

    Not like having sex with a stranger, getting a really awful cramp in your leg and not being comfortable enough with them to tell them to stop for a minute. Or trying to get up and sneak off before they wake up and see you with panda eyes and scarecrow hair. Or if you get your period you can be like, well that's awks isn't it, rather than being so scarlet you search daft for two days looking for other counties to move to.

    I'm a big fan of Fwb. Not so much casual sex. Personally, of course.

    What were you doing with this leg?


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    #1250
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Here's one for yis. How much would you spend on a night out in a daycent restaurant? And do people go for romantic picnics anymore?


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    #1251
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    Romantic picnics :)
    Why not?


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    #1252
    Lyaiera
    Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭Lyaiera


    A picnic sounds great, just have to hope there's the weather for it.

    One suggestion I've said to a few potentials is going to a sports event, a match or something. I haven't been to a rugby match in yonks, and have never been to a football or GAA game in Ireland. I'd love to go to one with someone who's into them. There's something to keep your attention if you don't hit it off, but it's not like a cinema where you can't talk.


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    #1253
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Yes I'd much prefer a romantic picnic in a nice park over a swanky restaurant any day. I know we don't always get the weather for it but today would have been grand for it.


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    #1254
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Here's one for yis. How much would you spend on a night out in a daycent restaurant? And do people go for romantic picnics anymore?
    A proper decent restaurant doesn't have to break the bank. In Belfast you could get two mains a bottle of wine and maybe a dessert to share for 40 quid give or take a bit. I haven't done the picnic before though I did go for a walk as a first date! Got the curt after about 5 mins which was weird!


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    #1255
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Here's one for yis. How much would you spend on a night out in a daycent restaurant?

    Some guidelines...

    "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal
    If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel"

    What does her dad do for a living and is he good at it do you think?


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    #1256
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    Never been to a GAA game! Jasus!


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    #1257
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    Lyaiera wrote: »
    A picnic sounds great, just have to hope there's the weather for it.

    One suggestion I've said to a few potentials is going to a sports event, a match or something. I haven't been to a rugby match in yonks, and have never been to a football or GAA game in Ireland. I'd love to go to one with someone who's into them. There's something to keep your attention if you don't hit it off, but it's not like a cinema where you can't talk.

    Not as a first date, you can't get to know someone when you've 20,000 boggers shouting "break his legs" or "fck sake ref, that was miles wide"
    It's 80 minutes spent in someone's company....and still not knowing anything about them.... Maybe as a third or fourth date yep, you can both go shouting "break his legs" in unison ;)


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    #1258
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Here's one for yis. How much would you spend on a night out in a daycent restaurant? And do people go for romantic picnics anymore?

    It doesn't need to be expensive. I was in a great Asian place in in town a few months ago, it cost about €30 for two! Lovely food. I suppose the average would be in and around €60 for dinner and and drink but it would vary a lot to be honest

    Get a good spot and a good day and a picnic is nice too :)


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    #1259
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    Felix Jones is God wrote: »
    Not as a first date, you can't get to know someone when you've 20,000 boggers shouting "break his legs" or "fck sake ref, that was miles wide"
    It's 80 minutes spent in someone's company....and still not knowing anything about them.... Maybe as a third or fourth date yep, you can both go shouting "break his legs" in unison ;)
    Sure there's the journey there for all the small talk and to suss each other out... a few drinks beforehand in the Clones beer garden... an oul borgor on the walk up to the ground... sun splitting the stones... ideal first date!!


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    #1260
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    armaghlad wrote: »
    Sure there's the journey there for all the small talk and to suss each other out... a few drinks beforehand in the Clones beer garden... an oul borgor on the walk up to the ground... sun splitting the stones... ideal first date!!

    And i then realise youre not the one for me ...know any skelpers to sell that spare ticket to? :)


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    #1261
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,081 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    When I was very young I went on a picnic with the local farmer's daughter. She had the blonde curly hair. We ate peanut butter sandwiches and then rolled around in the hay. Good times.


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