Online dating

Lyaiera

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

Not as a first date, you can't get to know someone when you've 20,000 boggers shouting "break his legs" or "fck sake ref, that was miles wide"
It's 80 minutes spent in someone's company....and still not knowing anything about them.... Maybe as a third or fourth date yep, you can both go shouting "break his legs" in unison

In fairness my method of getting to know people is to sit next to them every few nights for a couple of months in a row while slowly consuming beer and muttering the odd platitude at each other.

And like I said, I've never been to a match in Ireland bar rugby, and I can imagine getting to know someone, but I'll bow to experience on this.

armaghlad

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

And i then realise youre not the one for me ...know any skelpers to sell that spare ticket to?

I need to find me a mucksavage, ideally from Cavan or Monaghan to go to games with first :pac:

via4

I met my first tinder date last week..hit it off spent everyday together when I was at work he would be texting it was so nice to feel like another person was interested in me. I normally have a guard up but I let it flow cos he's was so keen. Cinema food etc. Then we cuddled up with a movie Friday night n got carried away oops haha....I got a half arsed text from him the next day I replied one word msg back then haven't heard anything since. It's mad I felt like I was in a relationship doing all the things couples do I never let anyone back to my house but I hadnt cuddled anyone in years so it was really nice. Of course reality has set in now he just wanted one thing just wish he said that from the start instead of taking me on dates oh well I let my guard down that's good for me

Lyaiera

What about a gallery for a first date?

"Yes. I can really see how they mean to showcase the ever growing tension between the patriarchal dominance in the greater arctic polar bear."
"Jaysus wha!? Yer man must be demented he can't even do proper eyes!"

KERSPLAT!

You could try texting him again... He hasn't text you but you haven't text him either. If you like him text him, what have you got to lose.

Penny Tration

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

You could try texting him again... He hasn't text you but you haven't text him either. If you like him text him, what have you got to lose.

This. If someone replied to my text with one word, I wouldn't be in any rush to initiate a conversation again! Maybe ask him how he's been or if he'd like to get a drink? Something more than one word!

via4

Sorry I wrote that wrong he text I replied with a long message he said yeah...that was yest nothing today...he usually texts around 12 but the dynamic has changed since he stayed over Friday. No biggie at least I know now and had a nice week of thinking I was with someone better than nothing!

Superhero1993

armaghlad wrote: »

Sure there's the journey there for all the small talk and to suss each other out... a few drinks beforehand in the Clones beer garden... an oul borgor on the walk up to the ground... sun splitting the stones... ideal first date!!

Then watch Donegal batter Armagh off the field.

Superhero1993

via4 wrote: »

I met my first tinder date last week..hit it off spent everyday together when I was at work he would be texting it was so nice to feel like another person was interested in me. I normally have a guard up but I let it flow cos he's was so keen. Cinema food etc. Then we cuddled up with a movie Friday night n got carried away oops haha....I got a half arsed text from him the next day I replied one word msg back then haven't heard anything since. It's mad I felt like I was in a relationship doing all the things couples do I never let anyone back to my house but I hadnt cuddled anyone in years so it was really nice. Of course reality has set in now he just wanted one thing just wish he said that from the start instead of taking me on dates oh well I let my guard down that's good for me

His loss. If thats what he's like ya dodged a bullet.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Ah come on! A one word reply I wouldn't reply to that unless it was someone looking for a fight.

Your move now. Send him a text! The worst that can happen is he doesn't reply, and you'll be exactly where you are now.

Mister Vain

According to a recent barrage of news stories, apps like Tinder have turned dating into a dehumanizing form of online shopping, catalyzing some sort of sexual Armageddon and the death of courtship itself.

One fella said he slept with 40 women that he met from Tinder. He calls them his “Tinderellas” :pac:

spaceCreated

Penny Tration wrote: »

This. If someone replied to my text with one word, I wouldn't be in any rush to initiate a conversation again! Maybe ask him how he's been or if he'd like to get a drink? Something more than one word!

Ask him does he want to watch a movie and throw a few winkeys after, sure to grab his attention

via4

He was just after one thing guys. I have to face him again as we go to the same gym at least if we both leave it il feel less like an idiot by texting and getting no reply which I know is what will happen. Feck it I tried!

Witchie

Lyaiera wrote: »

A picnic sounds great, just have to hope there's the weather for it.

One suggestion I've said to a few potentials is going to a sports event, a match or something. I haven't been to a rugby match in yonks, and have never been to a football or GAA game in Ireland. I'd love to go to one with someone who's into them. There's something to keep your attention if you don't hit it off, but it's not like a cinema where you can't talk.

My ideal date would involve going to a football match (soccer) and a few drinks. Am a simple lass at heart. I almost pulled a guy at an Orlando City SC game only that I had just started dating my Puerto Rican.

J Mysterio wrote: »

Never been to a GAA game! Jasus!

Lucky duck. Was dragged to them as a kid and a few as an adult.

armaghlad wrote: »

Sure there's the journey there for all the small talk and to suss each other out... a few drinks beforehand in the Clones beer garden... an oul borgor on the walk up to the ground... sun splitting the stones... ideal first date!!

You had me until you mentioned Clones.

Lyaiera wrote: »

What about a gallery for a first date?

"Yes. I can really see how they mean to showcase the ever growing tension between the patriarchal dominance in the greater arctic polar bear."
"Jaysus wha!? Yer man must be demented he can't even do proper eyes!"

I would love that, or the theatre or a photo exhibition. Love a wee bit of culture but not snobbery.

Yeah for me an ideal date would be a football match, a gig, or one of the above. Dinner not so much. Then they will find out about my food weirdness of allergies, vegetarianism and hatred of cooked carrots, mushrooms and sweet and sour sauces. Too much for a first date to handle.

via4

Space created haha I'm sure that would catch his attention but I didn't want it to just be about that I want to be with someone proper but that's not Guna be him no biggie

Superhero1993

via4 wrote: »

He was just after one thing guys. I have to face him again as we go to the same gym at least if we both leave it il feel less like an idiot by texting and getting no reply which I know is what will happen. Feck it I tried!

It is guys like this that gives me no fecking chance. Where being genuine is met with wariness.

armaghlad

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Then watch Donegal batter Armagh off the field.

We will get yas in the long grass...

armaghlad

via4 wrote: »

He was just after one thing guys. I have to face him again as we go to the same gym at least if we both leave it il feel less like an idiot by texting and getting no reply which I know is what will happen. Feck it I tried!

Straight up ask him if it's the case. The least you deserve is an honest answer.

armaghlad

Witchie wrote: »

You had me until you mentioned Clones.

Sure we can go to a Dundalk match then

Witchie

armaghlad wrote: »

Sure we can go to a Dundalk match then

Dungdalk? Naw! Drogs maybe.

Penny Tration

Superhero1993 wrote: »

It is guys like this that gives me no fecking chance. Where being genuine is met with wariness.

Nah, that's just Nice Guy Syndrome tbh.
Genuine people will be seen as genuine. Being "nice" and genuine doesn't entitle anyone to a relationship.

Generally if you're a nice, polite, friendly, genuine person and you're not getting dates, there's another reason for it. Other men being dicks doesn't prevent nice people from getting dates.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

And don't fall into that trap
"Nice guys finish last. If I were a prick to you you'd like me more!" It's not true. It's never true.

Superhero1993

Penny Tration wrote: »

Nah, that's just Nice Guy Syndrome tbh.
Genuine people will be seen as genuine. Being "nice" and genuine doesn't entitle anyone to a relationship.

Generally if you're a nice, polite, friendly, genuine person and you're not getting dates, there's another reason for it. Other men being dicks doesn't prevent nice people from getting dates.

Like?

PandaX9

Mister Vain wrote: »

According to a recent barrage of news stories, apps like Tinder have turned dating into a dehumanizing form of online shopping, catalyzing some sort of sexual Armageddon and the death of courtship itself.

One fella said he slept with 40 women that he met from Tinder. He calls them his “Tinderellas” :pac:

Sure look I know a guy who did that before the advent of tinder - it just took him a lot longer to put the groundwork in at clubs and stuff, now he can talk to 1-10 women simultaneously and if they reciprocate he can have any number of women on the go into his apartment like a conveyor belt. All tinder has done is accelerate the process for him.

Lyaiera

Penny Tration wrote: »

Nah, that's just Nice Guy Syndrome tbh.
Genuine people will be seen as genuine. Being "nice" and genuine doesn't entitle anyone to a relationship.

I think this is the key. I know I'm a good person and have a lot going for me, and I know what I have going against me. I've been undateable for a while, and may continue to be. It gets me down some times, especially when there's plenty of men who are happy to perv on me, but I've yet to have a date with someone I really like.

Sure, I get upset about it at times. And there are nights where I wish I had someone lying next to me in bed. But ultimately, I know I'm a good person, and my worth is in no way defined by whether I'm in a relationship or not. It's not defined by the amount of people I've had sex with (whether that's no sex, or a lot of sex) and it's not defined by how many people find me attractive.

There's plenty of guys I'd love to have a shot with, but they don't see me that way. And that's fine. I don't whinge about it. I don't get upset when they go out with other women, or try to chat up other women. They're missing out on me, which is their loss, but they've been good friends to me despite not seeing me as potential girlfriend material. I respect them. I think they'll someday find someone who makes them very happy. Someday I may very well find that person as well. But apart from the occasional dose of venting (in this very thread maybe) I'm not going to go around saying the world is unfair, or demand that I deserve more, or decide men are all bastards (anyway there's much better reasons to think men are bastards.)

Penny Tration

Superhero1993 wrote: »

Like?

Lots of possible reasons.

Generally any "nice guy" I know who can't get dates, can't get them because they're:

Totally lacking in confidence.

Idolizing women, putting them on pedestals instead of treating them like humans.

Unattractive.

Entitled.

Bitter about being single.

Clingy.

Desperate.

Superhero1993

Penny Tration wrote: »

Lots of possible reasons.

Generally any "nice guy" I know who can't get dates, can't get them because they're:

Totally lacking in confidence.

Idolizing women, putting them on pedestals instead of treating them like humans.

Unattractive.

Entitled.

Bitter about being single.

Clingy.

Desperate.

I said it as women constantly have their guard up because of the dicks that leave them high and dry which I believe is true. Then when a genuine guy comes along, a lot of the time they may feel like it's not worth the effort etc.

spaceCreated

armaghlad wrote: »

Straight up ask him if it's the case. The least you deserve is an honest answer.

I think she has it settled in her own head, the last thing any guy will give in that situation is a direct answer if he didn't want anything other than a late night. I think a "how are you doing and a very quick chat" would be the best thing, if its way too awkward then don't even have a quick chat. If he wants anything more he'll make it clear enough. After that I'd leave it and wouldn't worry too much about it.

Mister Vain

Lyaiera wrote: »

I think this is the key. I know I'm a good person and have a lot going for me, and I know what I have going against me. I've been undateable for a while, and may continue to be. It gets me down some times, especially when there's plenty of men who are happy to perv on me, but I've yet to have a date with someone I really like.

Sure, I get upset about it at times. And there are nights where I wish I had someone lying next to me in bed. But ultimately, I know I'm a good person, and my worth is in no way defined by whether I'm in a relationship or not. It's not defined by the amount of people I've had sex with (whether that's no sex, or a lot of sex) and it's not defined by how many people find me attractive.

There's plenty of guys I'd love to have a shot with, but they don't see me that way. And that's fine. I don't whinge about it. I don't get upset when they go out with other women, or try to chat up other women. They're missing out on me, which is their loss, but they've been good friends to me despite not seeing me as potential girlfriend material. I respect them. I think they'll someday find someone who makes them very happy. Someday I may very well find that person as well. But apart from the occasional dose of venting (in this very thread maybe) I'm not going to go around saying the world is unfair, or demand that I deserve more, or decide men are all bastards (anyway there's much better reasons to think men are bastards.)

This. I've seen people go from relationship to relationship often settling for someone rather than be single. I think its crazy. A friend of mine was with a girl who was always trying to change him. She was always at him to go to the gym and loose weight, get a better job etc. It was his first proper relationship and I think he put up with it because he probably thought he couldn't get anyone else. She eventually dumped him. She was a bit of bitch, always seemed to look down on people. He's a nice guy and it was sad to see him go through that.

Felix Jones is God

Lyaeira, why do you consider yourself undateable now?