Online dating

Vex Willems

Deleted User wrote: »

A friend was telling me about bumble. Only women can message first?

Yep, thats the idea

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

FortySeven wrote: »

Can you put up the same profile for 12 hours with a picture of an average looking fella? Just as an experiment.

I'll ask the luckiest man
I dunno, I wouldn't like to use someone's pic without their permission.

Banner.

LexieOnRale wrote:

I'll ask the luckiest man.

What's this about?

easyeasy

Yeah that's it, women have to message first.

Have much less matches on it Tinder but they are genuine matches. Don't see the point having 300 Tinder matches when there's no good conversation flowing.

The standard on Bumble is on a different level to any other app I've used (Tinder,Happn) and for the serial likers - there's no limit.

Vex Willems

easyeasy wrote: »

The standard on Bumble is on a different level to any other app I've used (Tinder,Happn) and for the serial likers - there's no limit.

I find it very limiting, run out of people after about 10

Alf Veedersane

Deleted User wrote: »

It's raining now so here I shall remain.

Raining men?

bluestrattos

Sadly, the net result of all those apps (for the average joe like myself and a_few_good_boardsies) is 0 *frowny face*.
Nothing like the real world dating, nothing happens as well but at least you don't have to install apps and set up profiles

Banner.

Banner. wrote: »

Do people here know each other?

Some are as close as Connemara cousins.

CelticRambler

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So I did a little experiment last night, curious after that guy posted he had no matches within a 100km radius.

"That guy" ... as if being average in all respects wasn't bad enough, they don't even remember your name a page or two later.

I did an experiment too: changed my profile photo to one of a statue and almost immediately got a new message! :eek:

From Lucy in Thailand.

She said "Hi" ... :rolleyes:

bluestrattos

CelticRambler wrote: »

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So I did a little experiment last night, curious after that guy posted he had no matches within a 100km radius.

"That guy" ... as if being average in all respects wasn't bad enough, they don't even remember your name a page or two later.

I did an experiment too: changed my profile photo to one of a statue and almost immediately got a new message! :eek:

From Lucy in Thailand.

She said "Hi" ... :rolleyes:

At least you got a message :P Stop being picky

FortySeven

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'll ask the luckiest man
I dunno, I wouldn't like to use someone's pic without their permission.

Great idea. Would be nice to see comparative figures.

FortySeven

FortySeven wrote: »

Great idea. Would be nice to see comparative figures.

Why? What's the point in comparing your online experience with somebody else's?

easyeasy

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? What's the point in comparing your online experience with somebody else's?

Very true.

It's like comparing bra sizes - pointless

easyeasy

easyeasy wrote: »

Very true.

It's like comparing bra sizes - pointless

Exactly. We are all unique therefore our dating experiences are also unique.

FortySeven

Purely out of nosiness. I hate only having one side of a story.

maudgonner

FortySeven wrote: »

Purely out of nosiness. I hate only having one side of a story.

I'd be interested too. It's obviously not going to be conclusive and I wouldn't read anything into it, but would be interesting to see what happens.

maudgonner

maudgonner wrote: »

I'd be interested too. It's obviously not going to be conclusive and I wouldn't read anything into it, but would be interesting to see what happens.

Ya true. It would be interesting to see what other people's experiences are like and I am very nosy

easyeasy

I had been tempted to write a blog about past experiences but laziness got the better of me and if anyone I knew ever read one or two of the stories, I'd be disgraced.

bluestrattos

easyeasy wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? What's the point in comparing your online experience with somebody else's?

Very true.

It's like comparing bra sizes - pointless

Pointless? It depends, sometimes if it's cold...

bluestrattos

Deleted User wrote: »

maudgonner wrote: »

I'd be interested too. It's obviously not going to be conclusive and I wouldn't read anything into it, but would be interesting to see what happens.

Ya true. It would be interesting to see what other people's experiences are like and I am very nosy

I'll vote for sharing:
a) maybe we can learn something - everyday is a school day
b) reading material for the commute

maudgonner

I have to say, this thread has definitely opened my eyes to what it's like for guys on internet dating sites, particularly young guys.

I've found myself giving more of a chance to guys who send 'Hi's - I've just replied to one I get the point about how it must be frustrating to put time and effort into tailoring messages, so I'm cutting them much more slack now.

Having said that, I also got a message that said 'I tink ur a gorgeous bird' - that one went in the bin

Alf Veedersane

I really don't see what the benefit of a spoof account is going to be.

The picture won't be of someone using an app and the profile won't be of someone genuinely using the app.

What exactly would it inform anyone about?

bluestrattos

maudgonner wrote: »

I have to say, this thread has definitely opened my eyes to what it's like for guys on internet dating sites, particularly young guys.

I've found myself giving more of a chance to guys who send 'Hi's - I've just replied to one I get the point about how it must be frustrating to put time and effort into tailoring messages, so I'm cutting them much more slack now.

Having said that, I also got a message that said 'I tink ur a gorgeous bird' - that one went in the bin

Interesting! I always send (or used to send) a message with more characters than a tweet, with references about myself, and references/questions about her profile, and if I had 1 EUR for every time I got a reply, I wouldn't have enough for a coffee.

So my question is, what was the train of thought that lead you to reply to a "Hi!" ?

maudgonner

bluestrattos wrote: »

Interesting! I always send (or used to send) a message with more characters than a tweet, with references about myself, and references/questions about her profile, and if I had 1 EUR for every time I got a reply, I wouldn't have enough for a coffee.

So my question is, what was the train of thought that lead you to reply to a "Hi!" ?

I normally wouldn't have. I really like when someone takes the time to send a more personal message, or has a humorous opening message of some kind (I even mention in my profile that if someone tells me a joke they'll be sure to get a reply).

But after we talked about it on this thread and some guys said that it's not a sign that they can't be bothered putting in the effort, it's just because they send out lots of messages with no reply, I changed my mind a bit.

I'd still much rather your kind of message, of course, but I've decided to give guys more of a chance. If his second message is another 'Hi' then I'll reconsider

Vex Willems

I very rarely never talk about myself in opening messages, should I do a bit more of that?

maudgonner

Vex Willems wrote: »

I very rarely never talk about myself in opening messages, should I do a bit more of that?

Maybe if there's something in her profile that you have in common you could mention it?

'I see you walked the Camino. I did that last year and loved it. What did you think?'. Or 'You watch Game of Thrones? Me too, I still can't quite get my head around...<redacted for spoilers >'

I'd respond to something like that. But then again it's not like I have a clue what I'm doing

To be perfectly honest though if I was a guy, having now heard how hard it is for ye to get replies, I'd try to come up with a fairly generic opening message that's more inventive & witty than 'Hi' and use that for all/most of my opening messages. Then put more time into your profile, give a sense of who you are in that.

I'm in my mid 30s and use PoF though, a different strategy might work better for someone on Tinder in their early 20s. And the other girls on here might not agree at all with me.

bluestrattos

maudgonner wrote: »

bluestrattos wrote: »

Interesting! I always send (or used to send) a message with more characters than a tweet, with references about myself, and references/questions about her profile, and if I had 1 EUR for every time I got a reply, I wouldn't have enough for a coffee.

So my question is, what was the train of thought that lead you to reply to a "Hi!" ?

I normally wouldn't have. I really like when someone takes the time to send a more personal message, or has a humorous opening message of some kind (I even mention in my profile that if someone tells me a joke they'll be sure to get a reply).

But after we talked about it on this thread and some guys said that it's not a sign that they can't be bothered putting in the effort, it's just because they send out lots of messages with no reply, I changed my mind a bit.

I'd still much rather your kind of message, of course, but I've decided to give guys more of a chance. If his second message is another 'Hi' then I'll reconsider

That reminds me a conversation I had with a friend of mine a couple of months ago, I was complaining sharing my concerns about the lack of replies to my messages, and he told me that if I wanted to get a reply, I should send dozens of messages, for dozens of people everyday.
And I thought "that makes no sense from a social/common sense perspective, but from a mathematical perspective he had a point".

My problem, that eventually made me quit the online dating (mainly that one with a fish), was the time I was literally wasting. I would go through a profile, and then I would tailored a message, like I said above, commenting/referencing/questioning something in common (basically what humans do in real life, find a common subject) and sent it to the person in question.

Call me picky, but I would only bother sending a message, if the other person, also had a profile with proper content. Actually I wouldn't care if there was a photo or not, if the profile sounded compatible, I would send a message.

I'm either unlucky or the proof that in fact, not every pot has a lid. Go figure

maudgonner

bluestrattos wrote: »

That reminds me a conversation I had with a friend of mine a couple of months ago, I was complaining sharing my concerns about the lack of replies to my messages, and he told me that if I wanted to get a reply, I should send dozens of messages, for dozens of people everyday.
And I thought "that makes no sense from a social/common sense perspective, but from a mathematical perspective he had a point".

My problem, that eventually made me quit the online dating (mainly that one with a fish), was the time I was literally wasting. I would go through a profile, and then I would tailored a message, like I said above, commenting/referencing/questioning something in common (basically what humans do in real life, find a common subject) and sent it to the person in question.

Call me picky, but I would only bother sending a message, if the other person, also had a profile with proper content. Actually I wouldn't care if there was a photo or not, if the profile sounded compatible, I would send a message.

I'm either unlucky or the proof that in fact, not every pot has a lid. Go figure

Nothing picky about that, IMO. In fact that's pretty much exactly my approach (although I do like to see a photo, for reasons I've mentioned here before). It sucks that you didn't get more replies, and I could say that about most of the guys that post on this thread.

So I'm off to Boards HQ to propose that they set up a dating site spin-off. Hey, if Today FM can do it, why not Boards

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'd say already boards is pretty successful as a dating site. I know loads of people who've paired off with someone on it

bluestrattos

maudgonner wrote: »

bluestrattos wrote: »

That reminds me a conversation I had with a friend of mine a couple of months ago, I was complaining sharing my concerns about the lack of replies to my messages, and he told me that if I wanted to get a reply, I should send dozens of messages, for dozens of people everyday.
And I thought "that makes no sense from a social/common sense perspective, but from a mathematical perspective he had a point".

My problem, that eventually made me quit the online dating (mainly that one with a fish), was the time I was literally wasting. I would go through a profile, and then I would tailored a message, like I said above, commenting/referencing/questioning something in common (basically what humans do in real life, find a common subject) and sent it to the person in question.

Call me picky, but I would only bother sending a message, if the other person, also had a profile with proper content. Actually I wouldn't care if there was a photo or not, if the profile sounded compatible, I would send a message.

I'm either unlucky or the proof that in fact, not every pot has a lid. Go figure

Nothing picky about that, IMO. In fact that's pretty much exactly my approach (although I do like to see a photo, for reasons I've mentioned here before). It sucks that you didn't get more replies, and I could say that about most of the guys that post on this thread.

So I'm off to Boards HQ to propose that they set up a dating site spin-off. Hey, if Today FM can do it, why not Boards

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'd say already boards is pretty successful as a dating site. I know loads of people who've paired off with someone on it

Actually there was a very brief attempt of Boards.ie with some sort of matchmaking website, around 2014 or 2015 Valentines week