Online dating

Kimbot

bluestrattos wrote: »

Actually there was a very brief attempt of Boards.ie with some sort of matchmaking website, around 2014 or 2015 Valentines week

Thats here every valentines for a few years now: http://www.boards.ie/love.php

Lyaiera

I send a fair few messages first myself. I rarely get a response. That's no skin off my nose. If they don't see anything in me then there's no point forcing the issue, or insisting against their own belief that I really am their ideal woman. It takes two to tango and if your partner would rather be doing the foxtrot there's no point arguing.

bluestrattos

Lyaiera wrote: »

I send a fair few messages first myself. I rarely get a response. That's no skin off my nose. If they don't see anything in me then there's no point forcing the issue, or insisting against their own belief that I really am their ideal woman. It takes two to tango and if your partner would rather be doing the foxtrot there's no point arguing.

I agree. That's why I follow the "send one and wait and then forget" policy. As soon as you send two or more messages to the person without a reply first, you get a free membership for the "I'm creepy! Stay away" club.

Lyaiera

bluestrattos wrote: »

I agree. That's why I follow the "send one and wait and then forget" policy. As soon as you send two or more messages to the person without a reply first, you get a free membership for the "I'm creepy! Stay away" club.

I've come close to sending a second message. It's if I don't know if they've been online. "If you haven't logged on for a few weeks, and you're interested, send me a message and maybe we'll both be online at some point together." Just because I got a message from a guy who seems really nice when I wasn't using the site and it seems weird to be messaging him months later.

I haven't had to send such a message though. Saw they were online, no message back. Oh well, best of luck, you seem like a nice guy and I hope you find someone you connect with.

Mister Vain

maudgonner wrote: »

Having said that, I also got a message that said 'I tink ur a gorgeous bird' - that one went in the bin

It's terrible when you can't even compliment a woman.

What about compliments in general though? Like commenting on her hair or dress or something like that.

maudgonner

I had a funny one a few months ago. Had been messaging a guy for a couple of weeks, then had a phone call. He propositioned me for casual sex, flat out asked me if I wanted to meet up to screw. Now there's nothing wrong with casual sex, but all along he had said he was looking for a relationship, and the way he propositioned me wasn't particularly nice. So I told him that we were probably looking for different things and I'd leave it at that.

Around six weeks later I got another opening message from the guy, clearly he had no memory of having messaged & talked to me before

batistuta9

I'd agree with the best to get a reply is to comment on something in one of the photos.
The further down the list the better. Also if there's something written in the profile comment on that. Make an assumption about it too.

Those two usually get replies, another that works is to ask them to meet up straight away - you can mention daytime here if you're worried they'll think ONS - perhaps not as guaranteed to get as many replies but you'll get a good few.

however, replies are just that, replies, it's the second and third message where the real minefield is That's where it's going to take off or not.
You're better trying to get off the apps as soon as possible.

& for the self loathers (or curious) here you can download a GPS spoofer and set to new York, Vegas or even London and see how ugly you really are :pac:

maudgonner

Mister Vain wrote: »

It's terrible when you can't even compliment a woman.

What about compliments in general though? Like commenting on her hair or dress or something like that.

Honestly, in an opening message I find it a little strange. Two or three messages in, maybe. But I'd prefer it if the guy talked about things other than than appearance - travel, books, tv, jobs - whatever. I think compliments work better in person.

Or maybe I'm just crap at taking compliments - I've got the Irish woman's reflex to it: "This old thing? Sure i got that in Penneys for a fiver. I wouldn't let the dog wear it really, it's rotten"

Shint0

maudgonner wrote: »

Or maybe I'm just crap at taking compliments - I've got the Irish woman's reflex to it: "This old thing? Sure i got that in Penneys for a fiver. I wouldn't let the dog wear it really, it's rotten"

We have self-deprecation down to a fine art.

maudgonner

Shint0 wrote: »

We have self-deprecation down to a fine art.

It really needs to become an Olympic sport, we'd wipe the floor with those other countries. They're so full of themselves, smiling and saying 'Thank You' instead of the proper response: 'I look lovely? Would you stop, I nearly vomited in my mouth when I caught sight of myself in a mirror just now!'

gsi300024v

I get told I'm funny, did last week, I answered, "I know", sounds a bit up my own back side, but I did add to the two people I was talking to. " But you know what you are good at, you both know you are good genuine people that are great for having interesting chats with?"

It's ok to know our strengths, I must add these people know me, I'd not use the I know comment with strangers, need to know their sense of humour first.
I was terrible at giving compliments and taking them, but I've gotten better with practice. If I get someone saying something nice to me I just say "thank you". People don't want an argument over if your dress is lovely or suit etc.
Practice people. Say thank you.
I'd be same, I'd not throw in any, oh you've lovely eyes or something in first comments.

Mister Vain

"You've lovely eyes" is a bit cheesy/full on for a first message, but yeah the Irish generally don't take compliments very well. Th foreign girls seem to love it though. Also, and I know I'm generalising here but most of the Irish profiles I've seen have dreadful looking photos. Dimly lit group photos with red eyes and horrible angles. The foreign ones tend to have more clear headshots with better lighting. At least that seems to be the case with POF anyway.

CelticRambler

Mister Vain wrote: »

most of the Irish profiles I've seen have dreadful looking photos. Dimly lit group photos with red eyes and horrible angles. The foreign ones tend to have more clear headshots with better lighting.

Funny that: I find the complete opposite! I have an "Irish" profile on POF so as to get a break from the awful pictures that insult my eyeballs when I use my "French" identity. OK, it might be just the French, as the Germans and Benelux ladies (and visiting Americans) seem to know how to present themselves.

And even if Irish girls do seem to love their (several glasses of) wine and oversized sunglasses :eek: their profiles are miles ahead of the continentals, who are all sooooo seeeriousss.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

There was always a lot of "where are you from? You don't look Irish" back in the day. Never quite knew what to make of that!

Lyaiera

LexieOnRale wrote: »

There was always a lot of "where are you from? You don't look Irish" back in the day. Never quite knew what to make of that!

Dazzle them with stupidity then move in for the kill while they're confused.

You're very beautiful. I would like to chat with you.
I look like a carton of Aldi mince, and you're just after my discount prices.

Mister Vain

CelticRambler wrote: »

And even if Irish girls do seem to love their (several glasses of) wine and oversized sunglasses :eek: their profiles are miles ahead of the continentals, who are all sooooo seeeriousss.

I found the opposite there tbh. The foreign ones don't seem to have nearly as much negativity. I've only ever seen the "Plenty of freaks" and "Where are all the good men" on the Irish profiles. That's just my experience. Of course there are good and bad everywhere.

Witchie

Banner. wrote: »

I skimmed past you. You and fin are another two i noticed. Apologise for my slip.

Its a good job have some major flirting going on with a cute American guy or I would be devastated to be excluded.

Thanks to the inspiration from here I decided to message a guy I spotted on a site. He is a bit younger than me (37) and thousands of miles away in New Jersey, but we have actually really clicked. Hard to believe have only been chatting to him about 22 hours. We have spoken on Whatsapp and been messaging all day.

Now am no fool and know that there is a lot stacked against us, particularly geography but am enjoying some fun, flirting and conversations in the meantime.

Lyaiera

We'd be perfect for each other if you were someone else and I had no self respect.

Chain Smoker

Mister Vain wrote: »

I found the opposite there tbh. The foreign ones don't seem to have nearly as much negativity. I've only ever seen the "Plenty of freaks" and "Where are all the good men" on the Irish profiles. That's just my experience. Of course there are good and bad everywhere.

I think it's just that people are more attuned to the negative aspects and flags of people from a culture they're more familiar with.
I know I'm horribly dismissive of some Irish people on sites like this, especially if they're from the area I grew up around, it's far too easy to draw a correlation between the person and some headwrecker you've dealt with in the past.

Plus, I've a fragile ego and am all too aware they'd be able to identify the outright weirdness of some of my quirks rather than dismissing them as some rural Irish thing.

Savonlav

Savonlav wrote: »

I'll amend it for you.

You seem friendly and convivial, shoes or love....

Em. Hmm. How about, silk or velvet?

Testament1

Mister Vain wrote: »

"You've lovely eyes" is a bit cheesy/full on for a first message, but yeah the Irish generally don't take compliments very well.

Ah I'm a right sucker for eyes myself, something incredibly endearing about nice eyes, my last GF had stunningly bright blue eyes but like your advice I didn't mention it to her until we were pretty comfortable in each others company.

maudgonner

Deleted User wrote: »

Em. Hmm. How about, silk or velvet?

Chocolate or crisps? Or chocolate and crisps...;)


(I sound like I'm obsessed with junk food on this thread. I am like, but still)

maudgonner

maudgonner wrote: »

Chocolate or crisps? Or chocolate and crisps...;)


(I sound like I'm obsessed with junk food on this thread. I am like, but still)

Or, rope or ribbon

Dial Hard

Speak for yisser selves. I love compliments!

In real life, though. There's a very fine line in OD.

mud

I've been single for years. Split from a nasty a few years back then went to college and didn't meet anyone nice enough to bother with the hassle of a relationship. I wouldn't mind but I'm a great person when you get to know me. I'm from a small place where the only propositions I get are from married/attached people. Not great for the old self-esteem! May give OD a go. I am very scared of the unknown though. As I said a few pages back Tinder is not for me. May try one of the other ones

easyeasy

Hi, Can you help settle a debate?

What's the debate?

*imagination - work away*

Vex Willems

Vex Willems wrote: »

Have once, not much luck there either.

Edit: Just seen an email, someone has like me back! Thats it, deactivating all my apps!

Deactivation cancelled, she never replied to my amazing message* where's the profile review thread on ODG, may need some help on my profiles

*message may not have been amazing

Witchie

Deleted User wrote: »

Or, rope or ribbon

Kinky!

Ribbon is softer so my choice.

Oh the wonderful moment when chatting to someone and you discover they are a Doctor Who fan too. Yay!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Not much to report with the other profile tbh.
Visitors - 2
Likes - 7
Messages - 1

That from a profile with no pic but did write a message with info from profile. It's a ghost town for boys.

Vex Willems

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Not much to report with the other profile tbh.
Visitors - 2
Likes - 7
Messages - 1

That from a profile with no pic but did write a message with info from profile. It's a ghost town for boys.

Surprised it managed to get a message with no pic