Online dating

FortySeven

FortySeven wrote: »

I'll add this to the list of things that make me unattractive. Yay. :mad:

My disputes look like they will be ongoing for the long haul.

I could list a few things which would make me seem undateable or undesirable for a few men. For example I live with my dad. I can't afford to go travelling or on regular holidays right now. But it won't matter to the right man and it will be the same for you FortySeven. The right woman won't see your troubles, they'll just see you

Felix Jones is God

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I could list a few things which would make me seem undateable or undesirable for a few men. For example I live with my dad. I can't afford to go travelling or on regular holidays right now. But it won't matter to the right man and it will be the same for you FortySeven. The right woman won't see your troubles, they'll just see you

I don't think people look upon living with a parent as a real no-no anymore, economic downturn forced a lot of people to return to the family home, and also grown children caring for elderly parents, just means that relationships have to be well planned ,and maybe dating comes second.

PowerToWait

Deleted User wrote: »

I could list a few things which would make me seem undateable or undesirable for a few men. For example I live with my dad. I can't afford to go travelling or on regular holidays right now. But it won't matter to the right man and it will be the same for you FortySeven. The right woman won't see your troubles, they'll just see you

It could just as easily be said that the type of person you might be most interested in is the type least interested in you.

Not a jibe btw.

CelticRambler

Deleted User wrote: »

For example I live with my dad.

Living with him's OK. Having him turn up at a party is not! Happened to me a couple of weekends ago, trying to chat up a girl I'd give a second thought to when her father arrives a picks me to be the audience for his unfunny misogynistic jokes and a monologue about TV and soccer. :mad:

Mister Vain

There have been a few threads on living at home with the parents and it seems to be a deal breaker for a lot of people. Like they're immature and can't look after themselves etc. I wouldn't have a issue with it myself.

Timberrrrrrrr

Mister Vain wrote: »

There have been a few threads on living at home with the parents and it seems to be a deal breaker for a lot of people. Like they're immature and can't look after themselves etc. I wouldn't have a issue with it myself.

Yeah I have friends who think this is a no no (one who ironically lives with his father ) but for me it's fine as I understand not everyone these days can afford their own place. Thankfully I live alone so if I ever do meet someone we will always have somewhere to go for undisturbed fun time

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Mister Vain wrote: »

There have been a few threads on living at home with the parents and it seems to be a deal breaker for a lot of people. Like they're immature and can't look after themselves etc. I wouldn't have a issue with it myself.

It's alright up until your mid-twenties. By that stage, if you don't have your life together, it's probably a warning sign to a potential suitor.

I've lived away from home since I was 18; worked through college to afford a ****ty apartment and was lucky enough to secure a decent job and be able to move in with my partner when I got back home. We met online, but this was long before the Tinder era, when we were both teenagers.

Felix Jones is God

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

I don't think people look upon living with a parent as a real no-no anymore, economic downturn forced a lot of people to return to the family home, and also grown children caring for elderly parents, just means that relationships have to be well planned ,and maybe dating comes second.

I've been dating successfully regardless of the fact that I live at home.

How do you mean dating comes second?

Millie Nutty Somebody

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

It's alright up until your mid-twenties. By that stage, if you don't have your life together, it's probably a warning sign to a potential suitor.

I've lived away from home since I was 18; worked through college to afford a ****ty apartment and was lucky enough to secure a decent job and be able to move in with my partner when I got back home. We met online, but this was long before the Tinder era, when we were both teenagers.

I don't consider my current circumstance to be a warning sign to anyone. Nor would I judge those in a similar position as myself. It certainly isn't an indication of "not having my life together".

CelticRambler

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

It's alright up until your mid-twenties. By that stage, if you don't have your life together, it's probably a warning sign to a potential suitor.

The girl I know is in her late thirties, had her own (graphic design) business in the back of beyond (encouraged to set up there with local development incentives) but could work anywhere. Her particular line of work is drying up due to the stagnant economy here, so she made a logical decision to move back to the family home where she's got space for her workshop and long-standing contacts to help her get ordinary work. If anything, that shows a level of maturity, not a lack of togetherness!

Shint0

FortySeven wrote: »

I'll add this to the list of things that make me unattractive. Yay. :mad:

My disputes look like they will be ongoing for the long haul.

I agree with Persepoly on this. I don't think you are wholly justified in your belief that people will necessarily scatter or baulk at your current position when countless others have been and are going through similar. I think you are giving yourself a tough time on that score. The reality is that most likely from your potential pool of partners others will have been through a very similar situation in the same boat with custody battles and children aswell which is where you get the blended families concept from. I'm not going to use the word baggage as I absolutely abhor that word. It's life. People need to be realistic in their expectations at certain stages of life and curb them accordingly. In the same way and I would hazard a guess that once over 35 anyone who is single and holding out for someone else who is single without children is equally going to have a smaller pool to choose from. Dating second time round is vastly different from someone looking for a first time serious relationship in their 20s. You seem to be getting a handle on things now anyway which is good.

Mister Vain

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

It's alright up until your mid-twenties. By that stage, if you don't have your life together, it's probably a warning sign to a potential suitor.

A warning sign of what? If you meet someone who seems perfect and is a "potential suitor" but later discover that they live at home, would you then give them the elbow?

CelticRambler

CelticRambler wrote: »

The girl I know is in her late thirties, had her own (graphic design) business in the back of beyond (encouraged to set up there with local development incentives) but could work anywhere. Her particular line of work is drying up due to the stagnant economy here, so she made a logical decision to move back to the family home where she's got space for her workshop and long-standing contacts to help her get ordinary work. If anything, that shows a level of maturity, not a lack of togetherness!

This isn't a million miles removed from my own situation. I lived alone for years. Then life changed and I went back to college. Every cent I had was ploughed in to my education. I only finished my masters last May. Life isn't a straight line for many of us.

fin12

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Don't understand people's need to broadcast their entire relationship or the minute details of their children's life on their social media.

"Braxton enjoying the sun."
- 2 min video of a 2 year old pulling the face off a boxer dog
"Daddy and son time"
- 1 min video of 2 year old in a ball pit at a fun factory, looking at a ball, and trying to climb over a block.

"Dinner time with bae"
Pic of someone's dinner
#fitfam #lovehim

And the worst, when couples put pics up of each other sleeping. Beyond creepy.
It's a lot of pressure, the "perfect couple" online, the perfect relationship, when in reality he's probably putting his weeks wages up his nose on a Saturday night and she's still texting her ex.

I think France might be bringing in a law that Bans parents from putting pictures off their children up on Facebook because they can't give consent, some of these kids when their older will be able to sue their parents up to €45, 000 for putting pictures up of them when they were babies.

Felix Jones is God

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I've been dating successfully regardless of the fact that I live at home.

How do you mean dating comes second?

I found when caring for an elderly relative that basically she came first, if I was to go out it would only be if I could get someone to look after her, things like that,

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I dated while my dad was going through treatment/dying. It's difficult, for sure. 3 days of chemo, bringing him for X-rays and scans and day 15 bloods, making sure someone was there to make him take his pills, picking him up and dropping him to Dublin for radiation... You work around it. That came first but it was understood and it was good to have someone that would make plans to do something that was just for you, and take your mind off things for a weekend.

Again it's hard to work around but once you're meeting someone with even half a heart, it's doable

PandaX9

FortySeven wrote: »

I'll add this to the list of things that make me unattractive. Yay. :mad:

My disputes look like they will be ongoing for the long haul.

Oh, you misinterpreted what I meant! I didn't care about the breakup but it made me so uncomfortable knowing all these super inevitable details of his life without him having told me himself!! Realistically only myself to blame but still.. He was incredibly private in person so it was a weird paradox to say the least. The guy was like catnip to me, it ended for completely different reasons.

jimbobaloobob

All in all it seems to be a mostly negative experience for people the online dating and yet theres so many companies making millions, its almost like tarot card readers and psychics now.

failinis

Just started online dating and reading this thread has either been good warning or depressing.

failinis

failinis wrote: »

Just started online dating and reading this thread has either been good warning or depressing.

Ah no. Go for it with an open mind and open heart

failinis

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah no. Go for it with an open mind and open heart

It's a bit daunting to be honest, not very high hopes - we will see what happens

FortySeven

failinis wrote: »

Just started online dating and reading this thread has either been good warning or depressing.

I thought that when I first came in here but after hanging around I've realised there are some absolute gems out there looking for someone online. It might be me they're looking for, it might be you.

Probably me though because I'm great!

jimbobaloobob

shoot for the moon you might just hit the stars

jimbobaloobob

failinis wrote: »

It's a bit daunting to be honest, not very high hopes - we will see what happens

i think if you've very little high hopes its destined to be a downer.
Maybe don't put any thought into it and see what happens.

failinis

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

i think if you've very little high hopes its destined to be a downer.
Maybe don't put any thought into it and see what happens.

Fair enough, if I think of it badly then it wont get the change to be positive.

I have had some lovely ladies offer dates but I end up turning them down due to past events. Maybe going to make a date with a shrink first :pac:

jimbobaloobob

probably dont need a shrink, maybe a drink.

just go for it

I posted this in another thread a while back. Every now and then I have a read of it. Really it couldn't be more accurate.

Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict.
Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep;
You are in California, Australia, wide awake.
Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone.
Maybe love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for love.
Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered.
Maybe love is only there for a month.
Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit.
Maybe love stays- maybe love can’t.
Maybe love shouldn’t.
Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to,
And love leaves exactly when love must.
When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”
If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her.
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper,
“Thank you for stopping by.”


Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye.

jimbobaloobob

Very good Persepoly

Deleted User wrote: »

I posted this in another thread a while back. Every now and then I have a read of it. Really it couldn't be more accurate.

Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict.
Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep;
You are in California, Australia, wide awake.
Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone.
Maybe love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for love.
Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered.
Maybe love is only there for a month.
Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit.
Maybe love stays- maybe love can’t.
Maybe love shouldn’t.
Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to,
And love leaves exactly when love must.
When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”
If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her.
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper,
“Thank you for stopping by.”


Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye.

Pac1Man

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

It's alright up until your mid-twenties. By that stage, if you don't have your life together, it's probably a warning sign to a potential suitor.

This kind of statement is almost always followed by....

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

I've lived away from home since I was 18

I wonder if you hadn't lived away since you were 12 would you share the same opinion?

There's those snap judgements again. *wince*

Esel

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Poem

Love is a drug
It messes up
Your mind. Do not
Walk in there blind

Falling is easy
Getting back up
Can be so hard
Don't fool yourself

Words are worthless
That is the truth
tl/dr
Wade in - slowly

And breathe
Fresh air
Good shoes
No fair

What someone somewhere said