Online dating

EndaHonesty

Greenman wrote: »

I found a nice lady online 16.5 years ago.

15 years later of we are happily married with two 2 kiddies.

It does work but you have to be honest from day one and look at the big picture.

You have to be lucky too.

We were both at a stage that we wanted to settle down.

I guess you could say we clicked.

She's also very patient and I like to please her.

Sounds a bit sobby but it worked for us.

What site did you use?

Shint0

Sooooo...anyway. Back on track.

Do people find with online dating it's almost like video killed the radio star. Has it almost overtaken real life dating in the way it has evolved over the last decade or more. It would be interesting to do a study to find out how much people rely on online dating now for meeting potential partners as opposed to real life. This thread has been very enlightening. In fact it could almost be classed as a study in itself and we have all the data right here. It could be useful in the future when grandchildren are looking through archives at this era so it would be very useful to keep the thread going don't people think. We're all the test subjects the lab rats. What do people think? Any thoughts?? Yes no maybe?

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

Sooooo...anyway. Back on track.

Do people find with online dating it's almost like video killed the radio star. Has it almost overtaken real life dating in the way it has evolved over the last decade or more. It would be interesting to do a study to find out how much people rely on online dating now for meeting potential partners as opposed to real life. This thread has been very enlightening. In fact it could almost be classed as a study in itself and we have all the data right here. It could be useful in the future when grandchildren are looking through archives at this era so it would be very useful to keep the thread going don't people think. We're all the test subjects the lab rats. What do people think? Any thoughts?? Yes no maybe?

I can certainly see how the rise of online dating would put a spanner in the works of the old fashioned way. But then online I think was born out of a need to make meeting people easier. It's hard in the real world. Not everyone has buzzing social lives or a work or family environment which lends itself to meeting someone.

Of course you could turn that around and say if there wete no online sites then perhaps we would make an effort? It's a bit like the chicken and the egg conundrum. Personally it hasn't changed my habits much. I prefer having the chat in the physical world.

Penny Tration

[Deleted User] wrote: »

How certain are you all of what you are looking for? Sometimes do you say to yourself "I'd like to meet the man/woman who I'll spend the rest of my life with" or maybe "I'm having too much fun so prefer to keep it casual" or do you have no clue?

I don't have a definite answer myself. I would like to be in a relationship with the right man but I'm open to having fun along the way.

I was looking for casual dating. Then three years ago I fell in love and a serious relationship happened :pac:

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

How certain are you all of what you are looking for? Sometimes do you say to yourself "I'd like to meet the man/woman who I'll spend the rest of my life with" or maybe "I'm having too much fun so prefer to keep it casual" or do you have no clue?

I'm confused as hell about this. I'd love the most wonderful relationship as I imagine it to be but I don't want to settle for anything less.
It's like I'm waiting for the perfect relationship to fall in to my lap but am very hesitant/lazy in trying to find it.

The fear of ending up in the "wrong" relationship or one which isn't the "perfectly imagined" relationship is enough for me to not risk. A Bullsh*t excuse and yet I carry on in this way, hence the confusion.

Shint0

Deleted User wrote: »

I prefer having the chat in the physical world.

That's certainly an interesting discussion to be had which I suppose is what the thread is about getting peoples opinions, perceptions and experiences of both sides and is great craic aswell which is a big plus. Online it's swipe this way or that way, so much choice, too much choice and probably an over-reliance on physical attractiveness, while important is not the whole picture. You don't get to step into someone's force field, well not 100%, until you actually meet them. You can see some stunningly beautiful or handsome people in their online pics but sometimes stunningly beautiful/handsome can be the most wooden and lack sex appeal. Look at Mick Jagger, ffs, a face almost like a twisted dish cloth, but women claim he oozes sex appeal. It obviously works for him
So it's really great getting the take on this thread on people's experiences.
Interesting question, has anybody had great chemistry online and when they met in real life it was a damp squib. :pac: Come on people tell us your stories.

tomwaterford

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm confused as hell about this. I'd love the most wonderful relationship as I imagine it to be but I don't want to settle for anything less.
It's like I'm waiting for the perfect relationship to fall in to my lap but am very hesitant/lazy in trying to find it.

The fear of ending up in the "wrong" relationship or one which isn't the "perfectly imagined" relationship is enough for me to not risk. A Bullsh*t excuse and yet I carry on in this way, hence the confusion.

Could you not just pull the plug on a relationship if you weren't happy??

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm confused as hell about this. I'd love the most wonderful relationship as I imagine it to be but I don't want to settle for anything less.
It's like I'm waiting for the perfect relationship to fall in to my lap but am very hesitant/lazy in trying to find it.

The fear of ending up in the "wrong" relationship or one which isn't the "perfectly imagined" relationship is enough for me to not risk. A Bullsh*t excuse and yet I carry on in this way, hence the confusion.

Sometimes we make it difficult on yourselves because we're not ready for love.
We know that perfect relationships are a myth. We know that they come with tough times as well as the good. The person we fall in love with will be just as flawed and we are.

It's easier to say that we are holding out for something wonderful rather than admit that we are terrified. At least that's what I find myself doing. I tell myself little untruths because I'm scared. Here is my heart. I want you to try it out for size but please God don't break it.

Tell me how

tomwaterford wrote:

Could you not just pull the plug on a relationship if you weren't happy??

Of course I could, if I copped on.

Was in a relationship before where I felt it wasn't right but I convinced myself that good relationships took work and so I stuck at. Then, when she eventually decided it wasn't happening and finished it, it hit me quite hard. Doesn't make sense and is entirely my own issue. Working at it though. Slowly

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

Interesting question, has anybody had great chemistry online and when they met in real life it was a damp squib. :pac: Come on people tell us your stories.

This has happened a few times to me. One in particular stands out. Him and I were chatting for about a week before we met. There was a great bit of back and forth and flirting and all the rest. We definitely clicked in the online world.
Real life was a different story. He came across as a complete and utter knob who was full of pretensions. I was very disappointed and I don't doubt the feeling was mutual.

FortySeven

Shint0 wrote: »

Sooooo...anyway. Back on track.

Do people find with online dating it's almost like video killed the radio star. Has it almost overtaken real life dating in the way it has evolved over the last decade or more. It would be interesting to do a study to find out how much people rely on online dating now for meeting potential partners as opposed to real life. This thread has been very enlightening. In fact it could almost be classed as a study in itself and we have all the data right here. It could be useful in the future when grandchildren are looking through archives at this era so it would be very useful to keep the thread going don't people think. We're all the test subjects the lab rats. What do people think? Any thoughts?? Yes no maybe?

Apologies for the flirting dragging the thread off topic. There are a good few excuses for it but in reality it boils down to me being a bit of a tit at times.

Online dating is no more novel to me than any other online service. It will be studied I suppose but services such as Facebook have altered societal norms in much more definitive ways and would be the one most under scrutiny.

One of the most perceptive glimpses of the whole concept of the information revolution in my opinion was the community living on a ship in the film wall.e, where a community existed communicating only through their screens and social interactions were minimal. I found it very prophetic at the time.

The idea that we understand what has been unleashed on the world with the internet is exceptionally short sighted. Just as the ramifications of the industrial revolution were not really seen or understood for a few generations.

I think as online dating becomes more popular and aps like tinder more accepted then it is a natural tool for anyone looking for a partner. Why go to a pub where there might be 6 prospects when you can stay at home and filter 600 down to 1 and then go to the pub with them?

There will of course be people you meet at work or the pub but that takes me back to wall.e and the collective fear of contact after a societal acceptance of communicating remotely has become the norm.

As someone who does most things online I'm not entirely sure if I think if that is a good thing or a bad thing but I believe it to be inevitable. Japan's shut ins are a foresight of this perhaps although their culture is more conducive than most to that type of insular mentality.

Shint0

Interesting, Persepoly. On the internet know one knows you're a dog. That's ruff :pac:
His loss. His BIG loss, I'm sure and someone else's gain.

Shint0

FortySeven wrote: »

being a bit of a tit at times.

Ah no you're not. Sure we're all just having a lighthearted discussion here where everyone's free to give their two cent. That's what's great about boards.

Lyaiera

Deleted User wrote: »

Sometimes we make it difficult on yourselves because we're not ready for love.
We know that perfect relationships are a myth. We know that they come with tough times as well as the good. The person we fall in love with will be just as flawed and we are.

It's easier to say that we are holding out for something wonderful rather than admit that we are terrified. At least that's what I find myself doing. I tell myself little untruths because I'm scared. Here is my heart. I want you to try it out for size but please God don't break it.

I remember sitting in a friend's front room, trying to explain what I was feeling. I was going through every tortured explanation I could manage, not having a full idea of it myself. He just looked at me, quite calmly and said, "You're saying you feel vulnerable." And he was bang on. I just sat there, said, "Yeah," nodded and held back tears.

Feeling vulnerable is really hard to deal with. You can hide yourself away, I've often turned towards booze to drown it out, you engage in riskier behaviour to prove yourself, and show that you're not scared but deep down the idea that you put yourself out there, and may get rejected, or abused, but mostly that you may be hurt is so hard to deal with. And in the end, a lot of the time we come up with an ok result. Maybe we do get rejected, or treated unkindly, but we deal with it better than we give ourself credit for.

It's hard, but you have to take risks if you're going to find someone, or more for your life. You put yourself out there, and hopefully you're smart about it, and maybe good things will come your way.

And all that's really easy to say, and even some times to act on, but my god is it also terrifying at times.

Shint0

I don't think there are many Luddites left around these days. They have got to be a dying breed. There are probably deicated dating sites for the elderly aswell. Not sure what the cut off range is age wise on the more mainstream sites. Everyone can get in on the action :pac: It allows for all types of preferences and people of different persuasions to hook up where as previously everything was by bush telegraph underground.
Anyone more mature on here have any experiences of using online dating? I don't put myself in that category. Not mentally anyway. Chronologically yes but mentally no

FortySeven

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sometimes we make it difficult on yourselves because we're not ready for love.
We know that perfect relationships are a myth. We know that they come with tough times as well as the good. The person we fall in love with will be just as flawed and we are.

It's easier to say that we are holding out for something wonderful rather than admit that we are terrified. At least that's what I find myself doing. I tell myself little untruths because I'm scared. Here is my heart. I want you to try it out for size but please God don't break it.

You see, this is what made me look at online dating. It was the match.com advertising campaign. 'Love your imperfections'

I think this changed my own perception of dating in general and my own insecurities over being bipolar and having a bit of a history. It made me realise that these things are not that much of a hindrance. It was a very clever campaign. It really made me feel more confident in my prospects. (Their matches for me are pretty scary though)

It's over ten years since I asked anyone out or thought of dating at all. It scares the life out of me too. I've no idea of what to say or what to do and I'm like a fish out of water.

Since joining this thread though I have gone from not being ready to try to looking forward to getting started.

I've lived in fear my whole life as have we all. Nothing wrong with that. Its how we handle that fear that defines us.

FortySeven

Shint0 wrote: »

I don't think there are many Luddites left around these days. They have got to be a dying breed. There are probably deicated dating sites for the elderly aswell. Not sure what the cut off range is age wise on the more mainstream sites. Everyone can get in on the action :pac: It allows for all types of preferences and people of different persuasions to hook up where as previously everything was by bush telegraph underground.
Anyone more mature on here have any experiences of using online dating? I don't put myself in that category. Not mentally anyway. Chronologically yes but mentally no

On just Galway dating there is a seniors service threateningly close to the button I click on to access. There is also a single dad's looking for single mum's button.

I'm hoping they are generic and not targetted.

Shint0

I didn't realise some counties have their own dedicated dating sites aswell? I thought in the wesht ye would just head up to Knock :pac:

FortySeven

FortySeven wrote: »

You see, this is what made me look at online dating. It was the match.com advertising campaign. 'Love your imperfections'

I think this changed my own perception of dating in general and my own insecurities over being bipolar and having a bit of a history. It made me realise that these things are not that much of a hindrance. It was a very clever campaign. It really made me feel more confident in my prospects. (Their matches for me are pretty scary though)

It's over ten years since I asked anyone out or thought of dating at all. It scares the life out of me too. I've no idea of what to say or what to do and I'm like a fish out of water.

Since joining this thread though I have gone from not being ready to try to looking forward to getting started.

I've lived in fear my whole life as have we all. Nothing wrong with that. Its how we handle that fear that defines us.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that it's ok to be scared and to say it. I take an easygoing approach to dating and will be the first person to say "don't be in a hurry. It will happen when it happens" but my crap gets in the way sometimes. The difference between me and others is that I will say this out loud to the guy. I won't pretend to be all tied up in a neat little bow without insecurities and anxieties.

XR3i

Shint0 wrote: »

I didn't realise some counties have their own dedicated dating sites aswell? I thought in the wesht ye would just head up to Knock :pac:

lisdoonvarna is coming up soon

FortySeven

Shint0 wrote: »

I didn't realise some counties have their own dedicated dating sites aswell? I thought in the wesht ye would just head up to Knock :pac:

Why, to get on a plane out of here or to pray for forgiveness for whatever we did to deserve being here?

fin12

XR3i wrote: »

lisdoonvarna is coming up soon

Ya and Nathan Carter is going to be singing at it, as well as Derek Ryan.

Shint0

FortySeven wrote: »

Why, to get on a plane out of here or to pray for forgiveness for whatever we did to deserve being here?

Whoosh!

http://knockmarriageintroductions.com/

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Shint0 wrote: »

Whoosh!

http://knockmarriageintroductions.com/

That is bananas.

Millie Nutty Somebody

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

That is bananas.

It's brilliant!

Shint0

Millie Nutty Somebody wrote: »

That is bananas.

Deleted User wrote: »

It's brilliant!

What was once mainstream is now alternative. That's evolution!

Lyaiera

I came across, "a male nurse." Which I think is somehow different to, "a nurse." Maybe he only treats men.

Esel

IBL aka iebptd.

In early before premature thread death.

Flirting bad, flinging bodily fluids all over the shop - not so bad.

Car crash thread. No dead. Enough said.

Next. Speed kills.

Timberrrrrrrr

Esel wrote: »

IBL aka iebptd.

In early before premature thread death.

Flirting bad, flinging bodily fluids all over the shop - not so bad.

Car crash thread. No dead. Enough said.

Next. Speed kills.

Esel

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Apparently, this thread will die soon
Maybe before the next rising moon

People were having fun. We can't be having that.