Online dating

Mister Vain

Ahh I'm not talking about the love you have for a friend or family member. That's different. It's like that old cliche, I love you, I'm just not in love with you.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

Ahh I'm not talking about the love you have for a friend or family member. That's different. It's like that old cliche, I love you, I'm just not in love with you.

There's a question on okcupid. "Are you in love with any of your ex's". If the answer is yes then I run away.

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

There's a question on okcupid. "Are you in love with any of your ex's". If the answer is yes then I run away.

That's a really odd question. I ran away from that whole site, nevermind the the people on it.

FortySeven

I misunderstood the context. I thought the loving someone was loving someone without that being returned and the being in love was a mutual thing.

Shint0

Mister Vain wrote: »

Have you ever really loved someone?

Yes and sometimes it can be self-destructive. I'm not sure that I truly believe in 'The One'. People randomly cross our paths at various stages in life and you can make really strong connections with different people each one being different. Each one leaves their mark and shapes us in different ways. That includes friendships aswell as relationships.

Mister Vain

FortySeven wrote: »

I misunderstood the context. I thought the loving someone was loving someone without that being returned and the being in love was a mutual thing.

Now I'm really confused. :pac:

I've met women that I really liked and the feeling wasn't mutual but I wouldn't call it love. I've been in a couple of relationships where I really liked the person and I was happy, but again I don't think I loved them or was in love with them.

Then again, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

Yes and sometimes it can be self-destructive. I'm not sure that I truly believe in 'The One'. People randomly cross our paths at various stages in life and you can make really strong connections with different people each one being different. Each one leaves their mark and shapes us in different ways. That includes friendships aswell as relationships.

This is what I believe. When people start talking about having found "the one" or looking for "the one" I kind of zone out in much the same way as when someone extolls the virtues of Angel healing.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

Now I'm really confused. :pac:

I've met women that I really liked and the feeling wasn't mutual but I wouldn't call it love. I've been in a couple of relationships where I really liked the person and I was happy, but again I don't think it was love, or in love.

Then again, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.

Ah but have you experienced unrequited love?

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah but have you experienced unrequited love?

Ahh feck off. Now I'm totally confused. :mad:

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

Ahh feck off. Now I'm totally confused. :mad:

Let's help you out here.

Ask your question again

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

Let's help you out here.

Ask your question again

What is love?

makingmecrazy

Mister Vain wrote: »

Now I'm really confused. :pac:

I've met women that I really liked and the feeling wasn't mutual but I wouldn't call it love. I've been in a couple of relationships where I really liked the person and I was happy, but again I don't think I loved them or was in love with them.

Then again, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.

This pretty much sums me up.

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah but have you experienced unrequited love?

Not really, have been in very one sided relationships. Does that count as the same?

Tell me how

Mister Vain wrote:

What is love?

True Love is when you care more for someone else's happiness than your own and they feel the same about you.

Platonic Love is how you feel about your family (if you're lucky)

Unrequited Love is when you're heart nearly bursts when you see someone you want to have true love with, in love with someone else.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

What is love?

Love means something different to each one of us. It is impossible to define because it isn't tangible. Instead it is feelings. More than one.

It can cause heartache because when you love a person you are effectively saying "you mean everything to me. Without you I am lost".
That is the same for romantic and platonic love.

With regards being in love for me it is when I want to tell him all of the things that matter to me. I want to show him my favourite poems and let him hear my favourite songs. Being with him and just talking to him are what I look forward to. In my mind I imagine little scenarios like sitting beside the sea at night or finding a little cottage up a mountain.

But I am a sentimental old fool

Mister Vain

Tell me how wrote: »

True Love is when you care more for someone else's happiness than your own and they feel the same about you.

Platonic Love is how you feel about your family (if you're lucky)

Unrequited Love is when you're heart nearly bursts when you see someone you want to have true love with, in love with someone else.

I'm probably more familiar with the 3rd one.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

I'm probably more familiar with the 3rd one.

Meet your sister

Augme

Mister Vain wrote: »

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.

Tell me how

Mister Vain wrote:

I'm probably more familiar with the 3rd one.

Aren't we all. Isn't that why we ended up on this thread.

Nah, it's not that bad.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Aren't we all. Isn't that why we ended up on this thread.

Nah, it's not that bad.

No. We are on this thread because we are discerning in who we want to be in a relationship with

Witchie

Mister Vain wrote: »

I'm probably more familiar with the 3rd one.

And your twin.

What I meant was that I have loved people, truly loved them in a relationship way but realised I wasn't so in love with them that I wanted to spend forever with them.

I guess I am a bit of a mess as am a very loving person. If I choose you as someone in my life I will defend you, go to the ends of the earth for you and make you feel like the most special person on the planet....even if it is purely platonic. So if I am also attracted to you and like to get jiggy with you, this intensifies.

So in this frame, I will love you, and then sometimes I fall so completely in love that I can't imagine my life without you or telling you every little detail of my life while hanging on your every word and absorbing your story. This has only happened 3 times in my life but I have loved other boyfriends and what they were in my life.

So basically am a big ball of love and unfortunately have had my heart torn apart and stamped on because I can't help myself loving the person.

Tell me how

Witchie wrote:

So in this frame, I will love you, and then sometimes I fall so completely in love that I can't imagine my life without you or telling you every little detail of my life while hanging on your every word and absorbing your story. This has only happened 3 times in my life but I have loved other boyfriends and what they were in my life.

Well, you're very very lucky to have had that once not to mind 3 times.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Well, you're very very lucky to have had that once not to mind 3 times.

Yep. People go their whole lives without ever experiencing deep and intense love. Think of all those couples who have made huge compromises on fundamental issues just to avoid loneliness. Putting up with mediocrity.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

tomwaterford wrote: »

No (I'm too selfish )...but I do loves me county


(For all those who wonder what that's about ......YouTube it )

Way to break a girls heart!

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

Yep. People go their whole lives without ever experiencing deep and intense love. Think of all those couples who have made huge compromises on fundamental issues just to avoid loneliness. Putting up with mediocrity.

But are they not better off? At least they have someone.
I think I'm like someone who refuses to get a job his whole life because he's waiting to win the lottery. Time to wake up to some extent.

KERSPLAT!

What is love? Who knows!? It's different for everyone. I'm sure some believe it doesn't exist, others believe they've experienced it and others probably have. I haven't a clue myself to be perfectly honest.

KERSPLAT!

Tell me how wrote: »

But are they not better off? At least they have someone.
I think I'm like someone who refuses to get a job his whole life because he's waiting to win the lottery. Time to wake up to some extent.

Jaysus no. Don't settle. I'd rather be alone than with someone I didn't truly want to be with.

The Sidewards Man

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

What is love? Who knows!? It's different for everyone. I'm sure some believe it doesn't exist, others believe they've experienced it and others probably have. I haven't a clue myself to be perfectly honest.

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier?

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

But are they not better off? At least they have someone.
I think I'm like someone who refuses to get a job his whole life because he's waiting to win the lottery. Time to wake up to some extent.

God no. Better off with half diluted feelings, plodding along, scared to walk away. No.
Really and truly loving somebody and receiving the same in return doesn't have to mean waiting for Mr or Ms perfect. But it definitely doesn't mean settling.

Don't ever settle Tmh.

keep truckin

Tell me how wrote: »

Unrequited Love is when you're heart nearly bursts when you see someone you want to have true love with, in love with someone else.

I know that feeling all to well, going through it at the minute. I'm only early 20s and I've never had much success but I am hoping to change my fortunes soon. Gotta keep trying anyway, I'd love to have a girlfriend where we both liked/loved each other, it's always unrequited with me.

When it didn't work out between the girl I liked in college recently, I actually cried after when I got home, pathetic I know. A heavy heart is a hard thing to deal with. Looking back now I can see where I went wrong, and I did learn alot about myself. I'm not sure if people believe in fate, or it's "meant to be". There was signs that it wasn't, sounds silly but when odd things outside your control go wrong, it really makes you think.

Tell me how

KERSPLAT! wrote:

Jaysus no. Don't settle. I'd rather be alone than with someone I didn't truly want to be with.

Deleted User wrote:

God no. Better off with half diluted feelings, plodding along, scared to walk away. No. Really and truly loving somebody and receiving the same in return doesn't have to mean waiting for Mr or Ms perfect. But it definitely doesn't mean settling.

But that's the thing. If you end up with someone who you get on with, are somebit attracted to and they're not an a**hole/b*tch to you, should that not be enough?

I sometimes think those that end up long-term single do so partly (maybe largely) due to their own fairtytale hopes.
I can't speak for anyone else but I think it's a problem I have.