Online dating

FunLover18

Mister Vain wrote: »

Tis not easy for young men nowadays as they're in the midst of a masculinity crisis. It's the era of the spornosexual. Male youth culture has been both hardened and softened at the same time. You're no longer supposed to shave every day, but you're also no longer supposed to flush your best mate's head down a toilet when he's passed out. Designer stubble has become alopecia from the neck down.

There's pressure on them to look like ripped Ken dolls dipped in tea. Their shoulders are wider than a pub television. They drink cocktails and creatine. Their clothes are designed to reveal gratuitous channels of flesh, all shaved and shined so you can see your own hateful, jealous, paunchy face in the gap between their pecs.

Where is this pressure coming from, though? I do know the guys you're talking about but I don't think they feel under pressure to look that way, they're just part of the 'jock' culture. Maybe it's because I've never been a part of that culture but I've never felt any pressure to look like that. Is it not the case any pressure to look that way comes from being sporty and involved in sports where the standards of fitness have risen sharply in the last couple of years? But I think such pressure is fairly contained within that part of male society as generally there seems to more leniency in regard to male appearance in society then there is towards women.

OhHiMark

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

more about the cash you earn or how much of a dickhead you can be to them

cause nice guys always finish last

https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys

Eircom_Sucks

Silverman. wrote: »

Tbh I don't think nice guys finish last but there are a lot of jerks out there with brilliant women. I know a few where ya get the feeling that the women don't know that they could be treated better.

i know crap loads of stunning women with clowns , always the way and then wonder " why does he beat me , or why does he cheat "

maybe if you didn't go for douches maybe you might meet a normal guy

plenty of them women on pof , i mean stunning looking , if you are that hot and need a dating site that says it all

tomwaterford

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

i know crap loads of stunning women with clowns , always the way and then wonder " why does he beat me , or why does he cheat "

maybe if you didn't go for douches maybe you might meet a normal guy

plenty of them women on pof , i mean stunning looking , if you are that hot and need a dating site that says it all

Maybe they don't drink/go out??

Or work in jobs that are nearly always women??
(Hairdresser/primary teachers being examples)

Eircom_Sucks

tomwaterford wrote: »

Maybe they don't drink/go out??

Or work in jobs that are nearly always women??
(Hairdresser/primary teachers being examples)

lol come on , you actually believe that ?

even if they didnt , they would surely never be short of offers or need to resort to online dating

some are just pure c unts and you can just tell by the profiles ( high maintenance )

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

more about the cash you earn or how much of a dickhead you can be to them

cause nice guys always finish last

That's awful. That's a horrible attitude held by most "nice guys".
It's not true

Lyaiera

I just wish I could find a nice guy.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

lol come on , you actually believe that ?

even if they didnt , they would surely never be short of offers or need to resort to online dating

some are just pure c unts and you can just tell by the profiles ( high maintenance )

So what? Online dating is just for ugly people? I'm in no means stunning but I'd personally have no problem getting numbers/kisses/ons in real life when I'm single. The reasons I liked online dating sites was because you got to talk to people sober for a bit before committing to a date, more people your type (I'm from a small town), and the whole where's your boyfriend/is he not out tonight/god how are you single/arse pinching/drunk slobbering/pain in the ass gets old and is harder to ignore in person.

You don't have a nice attitude, tbh.

Eircom_Sucks

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

i know crap loads of stunning women with clowns , always the way and then wonder " why does he beat me , or why does he cheat "

maybe if you didn't go for douches maybe you might meet a normal guy

plenty of them women on pof , i mean stunning looking , if you are that hot and need a dating site that says it all

Often - and I only speak from personal experience from real life as I don't do online dating - self-described 'nice guys' can have issues surrounding entitlement, a poor opinion of women generally, and a chip on their shoulder big enough to keep Burger King supplied for a week, and fail to realise that it's not their lack of bad-boy attitude or king-size wallet that puts women off them, it's their poorly disguised general obnoxiousness.

People always tell you exactly who they are.

Mister Vain

Mister Vain wrote: »

Tis not easy for young men nowadays as they're in the midst of a masculinity crisis. It's the era of the spornosexual. Male youth culture has been both hardened and softened at the same time. You're no longer supposed to shave every day, but you're also no longer supposed to flush your best mate's head down a toilet when he's passed out. Designer stubble has become alopecia from the neck down.

There's pressure on them to look like ripped Ken dolls dipped in tea. Their shoulders are wider than a pub television. They drink cocktails and creatine. Their clothes are designed to reveal gratuitous channels of flesh, all shaved and shined so you can see your own hateful, jealous, paunchy face in the gap between their pecs.

What are you on about?

Silverman.

A lot of genuinely nice guys though have to put up endless amounts of rejection that most women will simply never understand and seeing jerks getting women so its unfair to paint a lot as obnoxious individuals.

PandaX9

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

lol come on , you actually believe that ?

even if they didnt , they would surely never be short of offers or need to resort to online dating

some are just pure c unts and you can just tell by the profiles ( high maintenance )

:eek:

You seem to have it out for women who you deem to be "stunning". I find it quite odd that you seem to have a revulsion towards the same woman which you yourself class as very attractive.

Have you spoken to many of these women before making the assumption that they're all a shower of literal vaginas?

Why the resentful tone?

PandaX9

PandaX9 wrote: »

:eek:

You seem to have it out for women who you deem to be "stunning". I find it quite odd that you seem to have a revulsion towards the same woman which you yourself class as very attractive.

Have you spoken to many of these women before making the assumption that they're all a shower of literal vaginas?

Why the resentful tone?

Because women don't want him and it's NOT his fault! It's theirs!

PandaX9

Silverman. wrote: »

A lot of genuinely nice guys though have to put up endless amounts of rejection that most women will simply never understand and seeing jerks getting women so its unfair to paint a lot as obnoxious individuals.

A thing to remember is that, like beauty, someone being a "jerk" is in the eye of the beholder. Example you are John. You like Sarah. Sarah is Mark's girlfriend. In your opinion, Mark is a dickhead. But Mark is utterly devoted to Sarah.

The above does not make Sarah an "idiot" for wanting to be Mark in general or "over" you. Nor is it unfair.

Sometimes... Or always, it's better to focus less on the lives of others and making comparisons and look inwardly.

Silverman.

Silverman. wrote: »

A lot of genuinely nice guys though have to put up endless amounts of rejection that most women will simply never understand and seeing jerks getting women so its unfair to paint a lot as obnoxious individuals.

I said some.

Some people have bad luck. And some are utterly repellent - both genders.

Silverman.

PandaX9 wrote:

A thing to remember is that, like beauty, someone being a "jerk" is in the eye of the beholder. Example you are John. You like Sarah. Sarah is Mark's girlfriend. In your opinion, Mark is a dickhead. But Mark is utterly devoted to Sarah.

PandaX9 wrote:

The above does not make Sarah an "idiot" for wanting to be Mark in general or "over" you. Nor is it unfair.

PandaX9 wrote:

Sometimes... Or always, it's better to focus less on the lives of others and making comparisons and look inwardly.

Ah I know that but thats not what I'm on about. I mean when ya see women visably upset at what their bf have done or the way some guys treat them on a night out.

Lyaiera

I'm so sick of nice guys. I want a rich asshole who'll treat me badly.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Silverman. wrote: »

Ah I know that but thats not what I'm on about. I mean when ya see women visably upset at what their bf have done or the way some guys treat them on a night out.

There's usually a pair of them in it. there's two sides to every arguement you see

tomwaterford

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

lol come on , you actually believe that ?

even if they didnt , they would surely never be short of offers or need to resort to online dating

some are just pure c unts and you can just tell by the profiles ( high maintenance )

Tbf....there's a massive amount of people that don't drink regularly (very underestimated IMO)

Dunno where they'd get offer then as there is a surprisingly high amount of people who don't have much hobbies outside of gym/visiting friends,reading etc



Pfft...anyway if they were high maintenance their unlikely to be msging me :pac:

Eircom_Sucks

PandaX9 wrote: »

:eek:

You seem to have it out for women who you deem to be "stunning". I find it quite odd that you seem to have a revulsion towards the same woman which you yourself class as very attractive.

Have you spoken to many of these women before making the assumption that they're all a shower of literal vaginas?

Why the resentful tone?

lol don't try to analyze me dear

i'm usually a good judge of character and yes it sounds funny but true

i'm not an ugly obnoxious guy and get my fair share of women but can spot the knobs a mile off

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

lol don't try to analyze me dear

i'm usually a good judge of character and yes it sounds funny but true

i'm not an ugly obnoxious guy and get my fair share of women but can spot the knobs a mile off

Good for you, I guess

Silverman.

LexieOnRale wrote:

There's usually a pair of them in it. there's two sides to every arguement you see

Not always and when there is, it doesn't mean that a different guy would try and support his GF instead of arguing with her. That's what I'd do if my GF was in a confrontational mood etc

Eircom_Sucks

Lyaiera wrote: »

I'm so sick of nice guys. I want a rich asshole who'll treat me badly.

no shortage on them sites

PandaX9

Silverman. wrote: »

Ah I know that but thats not what I'm on about. I mean when ya see women visably upset at what their bf have done or the way some guys treat them on a night out.

Well, in that case I would be of the school of thought that unless they are directly harming me or others in their antics - then it's best to stay out of it.

I'm sure you've enough problems in life and worrying about the problems of others is an unnecessary evil. If a couple seem unhappy in public you can bet that it is more complex than him/her simply being a dickhead. sure, they could claim that they're arguing over who ate the last chicken nugget or whatever, but if it that were really the case it wouldn't escalate like so (1001 reasons behind it make the fight about so much more. Much much more :rolleyes:)

Likewise on nights out some people really have no self control when it comes to alcohol. Unfortunately that's a matter for another topic, but I wouldn't necessary use drunken crying as a benchmark to ascertain the state of someone's relationship. I would probably keep it in mind if it were a recurrent thing however..

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Silverman. wrote: »

Not always and when there is, it doesn't mean that a different guy would try and support his GF instead of arguing with her. That's what I'd do if my GF was in a confrontational mood etc

Not all women are the same. If I was in a confrontational mood and my oh was trying to "support" me I'd go mad at him for being condescending/not listening/thinking this was funny/not taking me seriously. People argue. Some more than others. Sometimes it's hard not to retaliate or get sucked in.
Making up is the best part

Timberrrrrrrr

LexieOnRale wrote: »

There's usually a pair of them in it. there's two sides to every arguement you see

This^

I work in bars at the weekend and see the same people having the same argument and being sh/t to each other almost every week. They are destructive but it seems to be what attracts them to each other.

And saying nice girls shouldn't be with guys who are dicks? I see some lovely lads who are genuinely pleasant people being treated like dirt by their GF'S and often wonder to myself why they stay in that situation

Love is a terrible thing sometimes

There is a thread of something unpleasant running through posts which claim that nice guys finish last and attractive women are high maintenance.

I mean who are these "nice guys" surely the majority of people are decent? There are a multitude of factors why one person is chosen over another. Claiming that "nice guys finish last" points once again to self esteem. Believing that attractive women in are "knobs" points to bitterness.

Silverman.

PandaX9 wrote:

Well, in that case I would be of the school of thought that unless they are directly harming me or others in their antics - then it's best to stay out of it.

PandaX9 wrote:

I'm sure you've enough problems in life and worrying about the problems of others is an unnecessary evil. If a couple seem unhappy in public you can bet that it is more complex than him/her simply being a dickhead. sure, they could claim that they're arguing over who ate the last chicken nugget or whatever, but if it that were really the case it wouldn't escalate like so (1001 reasons behind it make the fight about so much more. Much much more )

PandaX9 wrote:

Likewise on nights out some people really have no self control when it comes to alcohol. Unfortunately that's a matter for another topic, but I wouldn't necessary use drunken crying as a benchmark to ascertain the state of someone's relationship. I would probably keep it in mind if it were a recurrent thing however..

Haha I don't get involved anyway.
Also its not drunken crying either.
For example, I fell and still am head over heels for this girl I know who has a boyfriend. We were out together in a group and she took her bf too. After the pub, she wanted to go with us to the nightclub, the BF wanted to go home and was kinda trying to convince her to go too. Eventually she decided to go to the nightclub but he also joined us. About five minutes in, they had an argument and he stormed off, five minutes later she said she was leaving and left with him. Neither were drunk. See stuff like that, is hard to see cos I'd be like 'listen babe, go enjoy urself, I'm away home, call me if ya want a lift later'. There are more incidents too as well.

Silverman.

LexieOnRale wrote:

Not all women are the same. If I was in a confrontational mood and my oh was trying to "support" me I'd go mad at him for being condescending/not listening/thinking this was funny/not taking me seriously. People argue. Some more than others. Sometimes it's hard not to retaliate or get sucked in. Making up is the best part

What on earth do you think support means? I mean trying to talk through why she wasnt happy.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

What's wrong with being high maintenance anyway?
What's so wrong with not trying to be the perfect person?
Why do you have to be the nicest, calmest, best looking, most interesting, non farting, wise, not too much hard work to deserve someone to love you?

If I'm going to love someone the least he can do is love me back for the raging emotionally unpredictable bitch I am.

It's not even like that stupid Marilyn Monroe quote blah blah best worst.

Nobody is perfect. Stop trying to pretend you are and that the faults are with the other person. Oh Lexie, your high maintenance. Yeah and? What about it?
Stop trying to make others feel bad about themselves and concentrate on feeling happy with your own self. Life is too short to be pointing out other people's shortcomings