Help with routine when returning to work after maternity leave

Zebrano

Evening All

I am returning to work soon after maternity leave, baby will be 9 months. We finally found a childminder and will have to drop baby off at 7.30am and pick her up at 6pm.

Babys bedtime is currently between 6.30-7pm. Anything after this time she is overtired and bedtime is a screaming nightmare. I know everyone struggles with this and it may seem like a silly question, but how do you all get on with trying to settle and get bedtime routine done in such a short space of time?

Should I try change to routine a bit to push her bedtime out a little more now? Or just leave her as she is?

Would love if other working mammys and daddys would share their daily routines?

Thank you all!!

ChewChew

Hi Zebrano,

I went back to work after mat Leave in January and found it challenging but luckily I've got a very hands on partner so we work well together. We leave the house at 7am to drop to childminder at 7.10-ish and I pick up at 4.30-ish and then collect dad from the train so we are home approx 5.15 and bed time is 6pm/6.30-Ish.

So this morning I was up at 6 and showered and dressed then he got up and showered so when I was done I went downstairs and put her bottle and food for the day in her bag. Got mine and his work bags ready with lunches etc and when I had that done, he was down with the baby so I changed her and dressed her and he loaded the car then we got on the road.

When we got home she went straight into the highchair and had her bottle and then we chill out and play and have some time together and then she gets changed and into jammies. She has a bath twice a week and that pushed out her bed time by about 15mins.

I also cook quick and easy dinners for us and plan ahead So for example yesterday I did a big cook of some chicken that I have frozen now to defrost to make a curry and I made a lasagna last night so it just went in the oven this evening.

Now the baby is gone to bed and we've bottles made and her nappy bag is sorted and ready for the same routine tomorrow.

Hope this helps a little

Zebrano

Thank you so much Chew Chew, thats such a great help - helps loads!! You really have a good routine going there, well done

Do you give her a breakfast or bottle before you leave in the morning or does the childminder do that? Baby normally has a bottle around 7-ish, with breakfast an hour later, which childminder will have to give.

Baby is an early riser and could be ready for the day sometimes at 5.30am. She used to be a dreadful sleeper, but with a lot of work she is now ok, not amazing, but ok. Also anxious that her sleep will be disturbed due to bad naps with the childminder. Did you experience this in the first few days/weeks?

Also, does your childminder follow the nap/feed routine you were in before you returned to work? Sorry for all the questions!

ChewChew

It's a routine that, thankfully, it just happened that way and it works well

I don't feed her first, even at weekends when she wakes she won't take a feed straight away so she usually wakes at 6am and the childminder feeds her at 7.30-ish. She has her bottle first then her weetabix. Our minder is happy to feed her.

We have an early riser too but would you believe, her naps have improved greatly since going to the minder. She would sleep for about 3 hours a day with her and that could be 1, 2 or 3 naps s day. For example today she slept 10.30 till 1.30!! Tomorrow it could be 10.30 till 12.30 then 2-3 if you get me?

Does your minder have other kids? Ours does so she does a school drop off which meant the feeding routine we had changed slightly but it works really well and we just followed that instead of us trying to do our own thing at the weekends if you get me?

Zebrano

Thanks again! Yep might give her a bottle then before we leave the house and let minder give breakfast.

Minder has a son of 15 months and no other kids so no school runs. Her sons routine is a little different in that he sleeps until nearly 8am and then has one nap around 11ish. So it will mean the 2 are on different nap times, as her first nap is normally over and done with by 11.

That gives me hope that her sleep routine has improved! I just worked so hard in getting her to self soothe etc, I think I will cry hysterically if it gets really bad again. I suppose it will just take time to settle her with the minder.

She's starting to spend a little time with the minder now so they can get to know each other.

kandr10

Don't stress it. The bedtime may be pushed out slightly but you'll find your rhythm. Bear in mind that your baby's sleep routine may change anyway as she gets older and with brighter evenings etc. Play it by ear and adjust as you go. Good luck with going back to work!

Zebrano

Thanks kandr10, I'm trying not too, but its hard! Seeing other routines really helps though - makes me realise that it is actually possible Thanks for the help.

Leinster1980

Zebrano wrote: »

Thanks kandr10, I'm trying not too, but its hard! Seeing other routines really helps though - makes me realise that it is actually possible Thanks for the help.

Hi Zebrano, I'm just back three weeks and our son is in creche. We've just tried to be a bit more organised. I generally shower the night before. We have his clothes out and his bag ready to go. He gets up and has a bottle and eats his breakfast in the creche. I generally try to make meals that will stretch over two days. One pots are great. Might not be a bad idea for a thread here, one pot recipes for working families. Also meals you can freeze. They manage to get him down for two naps in the creche. Theyre never at the same time every day (this is something I worried about) but it hasn't seemed to affect him too much. Because dinners are ready we get to spend the most time with him before he goes to bed. As above my husband is very hands on so it's working out well so far. He drops him to creche and I collect. I stressed and worried about going back to work, putting him in creche and how we'd make it work but he's getting on great and we're falling into some kind of "routine" which makes me feel better. You'll figure it out.

Dobbit

The back to work routine is tough alright, took us a few weeks but we are there now.

Baby wakes between 5.30 and 6, one of us gets up and entertains him (we take turns so the other can sleep a bit longer..). Dad gives him a bottle at 6.30 while I get ready for work. I leave the house around 7 with baby to drive into town. Dad doesn't have to leave for another hour so he tidies a bit and washes bottles before he leaves.

I drop at the creche around 8 and go to work, I pick up at 5.15 and then back in the car for the commute home, we pick up dad on the way. Home by 6.15/6.30. Then straight into the bath, pjs, bottle, story and bed by 7.30, 8 at the very latest if he is taking ages to drink his bottle which can happen if he is tired. Then we make/eat dinner and bed by 10.30.

We are hopefully moving to a creche nearer to us in a few months, everywhere was totally full when we started looking hence the commute into town.

Zebrano

THanks guys, I really appreciate the responses and taking the time to share your routines and your advice!

LegacyUser

Do give it a couple of months to settle in.

Our little one started at the minder around 8.5 months too. We share dropoffs and pick ups - whoever does the morning, (7:45) the other does the evening (around 5-5:30). In some ways, it's great when they are early risers because at least you're not taking them out of bed to go!! We do a bottle when she gets up,which is now around 6 - 6:30 (she sleeps a wee bit longer now, she's 21 months old). The minder gives her breakfast and she naps there. Her naps can be a little bit hit and miss sometimes but since she's down to one nap, it's better. She aims to get her to sleep around the same time every day but it doesn't always work out like that - there are other kids there 3 days of the week and sometimes she's just enjoying life too much!

I will say that I always find she's tired by the end of the week. I just keep her routine the same at weekends, and it tends to go smoothly. Apparently it's quite common for them to do one routine at the minders and another at weekends with parents with no bother. The 2 meet in the middle somewhere as they get a bit bigger. Evenings can be rushed - I try to pre-cook at least 3 days of dinner so we don't have to cook every day. She tends to eat with us although she never eats too much at that time, but then again, she has most of her food during the day. We do dinner around 6, then she plays for an hour, then at 7 it's up to bed.

It is a a bit of a treadmill OP, but you do manage it and as the baby gets bigger it gets a bit easier. Ours loves her minder and even more, loves the other kids that are there, which makes the guilt a little less! I'm not mad on working full time personally, but needs must, and I feel that it actually does her very good to have someone else input into her development other than just me and my OH!! I also find my minder great for general knowledge - she's minded loads of kids over the years and she has ways of getting them to do things that they'll never do for you (!) or spotting things you mightn't be aware of.

John Mason

I hate it, it is horrible. I really wish I didn't have to do it and tbh it is getting harder the older he gets. but this is our routine with our 23 month old which hasn't changed since I went back to work when he was 10 months.

Up at 6am, Dad changes nappy, gives breakfast. Back up the stairs to me at 6.40am. he gets boobs and cuddles until 7am. We both get dressed and are out the door at 7.24am (any earlier and we are too early, any later and the traffic is too bad).

Either one of us pick him up between 4.30pm - 5.15pm depending on traffic. Home, he chills out for 30 mins (supposedly), dinner at 5.30pm - 6pm. Usually prepped the night before. Make extra, so all 3 of us have the same for lunch the next day.

Chill out with jigsaws/colouring until 7pm then up the stairs, pj's, cuddles, Dad does story time. asleep by 7.30pm.

when Dad is doing story time, I am organising clothes and lunches for the next day. bags are lined up at the door. clothes are laid out in the order they go on.

No time for thinking in the morning.

Neyite

The more you can do at night, the more organise you'll be the following morning.

We organise all sets of clothes out for each of us, iron anything that's needed, restock change bag, make lunches. I used to be awful for being almost at work and realising I'd left my lovely lunch in the fridge at home so now I put them in the car the night before - usually the same temperature as a fridge in Ireland anyway We dont have set roles, but if one if us is bathing the child, the other is doing some sort of housework or setting up stuff for the morning. We do a quick tidy for about 30 mins or so but a big clean up at the weekend.

Like Chew, batch cooking has saved us a lot of time. As would getting groceries delivered. Whenever I can, I'll cook in bulk and freeze in disposable containers to be used later. I've got a slow cooker so I'm exploring cooking with that a bit more. Nothing nicer than coming in to a ready dinner.

I wash dry and straighten (when I can be arsed!) my hair at night as it takes too long in the mornings. Getting a toddler dressed in the mornings can be a challenge so I turned it into a game challenge and one of us will help him with his clothes and he races the other parent. He loves it. We are lucky in that he gets his breakfast in creche about 20 mins after drop off.

Another thing we do is we have our child in a normal double bed. So when he wakes at night being sick or nightmares or just phases, one of us will go into him, the other can get sleep. No point in bringing him in with both of you and you all ending up sleepless while the baby is kicking you in the kidneys.

You'll find your feet with a routine I'm sure.

genie_us

Hi Zebrano

just to wish you good luck on returning to work! It's not as bad once you get settled in and you might find you even enjoy the lunch breaks!

Our routine is very similar. Our son is almost 16 months exactly and I was back at work when he was 11 months.

I get a 06.30 train so my husband looks after the morning routine as he works much closer to home.
Some mornings I can hear him chatting away to his teddies when I'm leaving for work, most of the time he'll go back asleep. My husband gets him up at about half 7, gives him a bit of toast but usually that's just to keep him occupied while he's having his own breakfast as he gets a breakfast then at 8 at the childminders.

He drops the baby to the childminders for about 7.45 and then I collect him at 6pm when I get home. His bed time is 7pm on the dot, because like you, any later and he's overtired and it's not fun for any of us!

The childminder feeds him so I don't need to cook, however I batch cook and freeze at the weekends to have a backup just in case

I hate that I don't get to see him in the mornings and that I have less than an hour with him in the evenings. Really hate it. But we don't have a choice in the matter at the moment so I suppose we just have to make the best of it! It makes the weekends all the more precious

Zebrano

Thanks for all the replies, its really helping! Yeah can't believe Im going back soon - where have the past 9 months gone?!
Well Ive arranged for her to go to the minder first thing tomorrow to practice our morning routine and for the minder to have a dry run at nap time. Could I ask how many times you left your little ones with the minder/creche before you returned to work?

Now to further complicate things - we may have an offer for a family member to take her a couple days a week down the line. This would help with the cost, but also means she gets to spend more time with cousins etc. Does anyone have any experience with mixing childcare i.e. 3 days creche, 2 days family or the likes? Is it worth it or does it just complicate the routine? Im all for an easy life!

Thanks again

genie_us

Zebrano wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, its really helping! Yeah can't believe Im going back soon - where have the past 9 months gone?!
Well Ive arranged for her to go to the minder first thing tomorrow to practice our morning routine and for the minder to have a dry run at nap time. Could I ask how many times you left your little ones with the minder/creche before you returned to work?

Now to further complicate things - we may have an offer for a family member to take her a couple days a week down the line. This would help with the cost, but also means she gets to spend more time with cousins etc. Does anyone have any experience with mixing childcare i.e. 3 days creche, 2 days family or the likes? Is it worth it or does it just complicate the routine? Im all for an easy life!

Thanks again

About 2 weeks before I went back to work I left him in with the CM maybe 3 times for the mornings. It went great! We are lucky with him as he doesn't make strange at all in fact if anything I was more worried that he wouldn't even notice I was gone!!

The hardest part for me was that after a week or two of me being back at work, when I collected him he'd freak out and cry at me and not want me to hold him and stuff. That was awful. I don't want to upset you that it might happen to you - it probably won't - but I mention it because just in case it does, it will pass and things will get easier.

Re splitting the childcare - I say go for it as long as you are certain it will be a regular thing that you can rely on 100%. I don't think it would complicate the routine, defo it would be brill to have family members around your little one, my only concern would be if it falls through and you are then back at work trying to sort out a new system. My mam minds him every friday for a few hours and it works out great - she's not fully tied up with the commitment as it's a few hours once a week, and they adore seeing eachother so I love that they have that time together. It's gas seeing my parents with him - he's the first grandchild and you'd swear they hadn't had 4 kids of their own!! 'Oh look! He's waving!! Amazing!!'

Don't forget to consider how many car seats you might need depending on what childcare you set up. We bought one for the childminder and one for my parents, on top of our own two. It all adds up!

cant26

Zebrano wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, its really helping! Yeah can't believe Im going back soon - where have the past 9 months gone?!
Well Ive arranged for her to go to the minder first thing tomorrow to practice our morning routine and for the minder to have a dry run at nap time. Could I ask how many times you left your little ones with the minder/creche before you returned to work?

Now to further complicate things - we may have an offer for a family member to take her a couple days a week down the line. This would help with the cost, but also means she gets to spend more time with cousins etc. Does anyone have any experience with mixing childcare i.e. 3 days creche, 2 days family or the likes? Is it worth it or does it just complicate the routine? Im all for an easy life!

Thanks again

Best of luck returning to work. The first few weeks are the hardest with everyone adjusting to their new routines.

I work a four day week. My son goes to his childminders three days, Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday's are rotated between grandmothers.One Thursday he goes to my mum the following Thursday he goes to my OH mum. It works really well for us. in the mornings he asks if it's a nana day, a mummy day or a minder day!

Expecting number two in the summer and the thoughts of negotiating two in the mornings after maternity leave is already freaking me out!

John Mason

We start crèche about 3 weeks before I started back at work. started with 2 hours and worked out way up. he was on there full-time for a full week before I went back to work

ChewChew

Zebrano, my girl went to her minder for 3 half days before I went back and they were spread over about two weeks. I also went back on a three day week for a few weeks then four days for a few weeks and now I'm full time.

Zebrano

Just want to update you all. Baby went to minder for a half day yesterday. So we did as you all advised and got everything ready the night before and had her bags to go ready at the door. All I needed to pack was her food for the day. Clothes laid out, lunches done etc night before. To my surprise we were all dressed and ready to go on time and dropped baby off at 7.20am She was all smiles when I left her.

The minder then sent me updates and some pics of her big happy face to let me know how she was doing, which was great. But the best thing was that the minder put her down for her nap no problem! Shocked! So its a massive relief knowing that it went ok and there were no tears at all. Im sure it won't be like that everyday - but its a good start! She's doing another half day next week.

Thanks for the pointers re family taking her for a couple of days. I will take it on board

Really appreciate all the help, so thank you!!