Are your parents still together?

muddypaws

muddypaws wrote: »

Almost 52 years when my Dad died. They were very happy, gave us a very settled and happy childhood. They loved their overseas holidays when we were grown up, neither of them smoked or drank much, so thats what they would spent their money on, they would go off 3 or 4 times a year. My Mum had dementia for the last few years of my Dad's life, and he looked after her at home. He was a typical Irishman of his generation, he could burn water, she did all of the cooking, but he became a brilliant cook, his roast dinners and apple pie were legendary. He was so tender with her, would make her a milky drink at bed time every night, put her night dress on a radiator and a hot water bottle in the bed to help her sleep. She came to his funeral, but didn't know it was for him, which broke our hearts. His is still the name that she says the most, although she doesn't understand where he is, or even that he's not there, but its him that she asks for.

That's so heartbreaking, but beautiful at the same time.
You were lucky to see and experience this, as hard as it was/is

Ruu

Yeah nearly 50 years married. My mother, as she gets older, she wants to travel, loves it but my Dad won't go anywhere. My Dad is a bit helpless when Mam goes away, always ringing her to make sure everything is okay. He doesn't even bother going out much when she is away.

Disgruntled Badger

Yep, over 55 years and they worship each other still. I am the same. Fell in love at first sight, and have loved her more and more every day since. She drives me nuts sometimes of course but that's OK, I do the same to her I know. But I couldn't be without her. I guess some people are lucky to find 'the one'.

I knew an old couple in their mid 90s when I was just a little kid. Old friends of my Grandfather. They were truly mad about each other, and had been since they were young teenagers. So they'd been together for over 80 years! It was so great to be around them. Listening to their stories. They spent most of their days laughing together and making everyone around them laugh. I learned a lot about life from those lovely people.

mud

Yes they are married 42 years and still hold hands and go for days out together. They've had children and grandchildren and long careers. They're both retired and loving it.

Out of their four children only one has got married and spawned. Funny really considering the great role models we had.

I feel it's better to be alone than going through the motions. I have made a happy life for myself and believe me I've tried several relationships but they didn't work out. Too much work! I think if you meet the right person then it's easy. Sure, life will throw sh1t at everyone. That's a given, but with the right person you get through it together with minimal negativity and with the wrong person it can turn into a heartache situation.

PressRun

Over 30 years together. They've been through the ringer, particularly due to dad's emotional issues going back to childhood that he refuses to properly address, but they've stuck it out through thick and thin, and always did the best for the children in the house. We always felt loved, no matter what, and we had plenty of amazing times as a family despite the dysfunctional moments.

If anything, I've learned from them just how much bloody hard work goes into keeping relationships alive and how draining it can be to keep it working. There were plenty of times where it all could have come apart for them, but I don't think they could imagine life without each other, tbh.

Cupcake_Crisis

About 35 years or so. They've been through the ringer together but still behave like love sick teenagers at times. It's beautiful. If I find a guy who looks at me the way my dad looks at my mam, I'll be doing well.

Buona Fortuna

There's some really tragic posts in this thread. Some beautiful ones too.

I'm 58, I still do things that my Dad taught me how to do, like tying my shoes and a "round turn and two half hitches" . I still struggle with a bowline - sorry Dad.

I miss him everyday and I'm really quite sad that not everyone had that.

Torricelli

Quite shocking reading the number of posts where alcohol is a huge problem in families. I like a drink as much as anyone, but Ireland really has a massive alcohol problem.

Thanks for the contributions, my own predicament is pretty trivial compared to some of the heartbreaking stories on here.

Stay strong!

gazzer

My parents recently celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary. Its great to see them so happy after all those years.

Pepe LeFrits

My parents are 45 years married this year... however, they are legally separated 11 years now... however, they got back together last year.

They are looking into the legal side of undoing their separation but there isn't a whole lot to go on. I guess they're kind of an unusual case

ToddyDoody

Mine are coming on 35 years married. The key to their longevity, I think, is how logistically etc they're bound and that they're not a million miles different from each other. I wonder how things will go when one / both retire.

antocann

Mine split . Funny story. ..... Ever asked your da where your ma is and the reply is "ran away with a black man " well that happend . Lol

Daenarys

Mine split just over 15 years ago. I haven't spoken to my mother since then either, because I no longer had to. Toxic abusive woman. I don't miss her at all.

I envy people with good family bonds. In the past having my friends describe their mother as their "best friend" has often reduced me to tears when I would be alone because I have no concept of such a relationship. My family is broken.

Pink Fairy

Daenarys wrote: »

Mine split just over 15 years ago. I haven't spoken to my mother since then either, because I no longer had to. Toxic abusive woman. I don't miss her at all.

I envy people with good family bonds. In the past having my friends describe their mother as their "best friend" has often reduced me to tears when I would be alone because I have no concept of such a relationship. My family is broken.

Would you have a good relationship with your father instead?

themandan6611

unfortunately not, mother died young at 31 back in the 80's so the old man was left on his own with 3 kids under the age of 5, suppose it is the other side and not all couple get the chance to grow older together

Hollister11

darced wrote: »

Why would it have such an effect on you if they broke up? Mines are happily married 40 odd years but if they decided to split I'd be disappointed but I don't think I'd be too bothered as long as they kept our relationships intact.

I'm just curious as I've friends who's parents split up when they were adults and they went to pieces over it as well, amicable enough break ups too.

Well were a really close nit family. We spend a lot of time together, and if they split up, that would be the end of simple things like going our for a drink, dinner ect. Id hate there to be a conflict between them, or if they couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other.

melissak

Boom_Bap wrote: »

It's tough to talk about this, but my parents were murdered and I was there to witness it, I'm not really sure how I escaped alive that night. We had just come out of a theatre and my dad decided to take a shortcut that led us down a dark alleyway. He was kind of a big deal in the city and was pretty confident nothing would happen. But of course that wasn't the case, a guy came out of the shadows, I remember it vividly, it's like he was waiting there and knew we were coming.
He whipped out a gun and demanded wallets and jewelry, which my folks handed over without hesitation.
He then pointed the gun at my dad, bang, pulled the trigger and my dad slumped over. Bang, another shot on the way down. He then turned the gun on my mother and fired, that was the scariest part, shooting an innocent woman in front of her child for no reason. I could see the life had left my mother as she hit the ground.
The gun was turned on me, I thought that was it, I felt my trousers getting warm and wet. But the guy just turned and walked away. I remember everything so clear in my mind except the guys face.
The gotham police department are still trying to solve the case....and so am I.

I'm so gullible I believed that right till the last sentence..

Mam of 4

melissak wrote: »

I'm so gullible I believed that right till the last sentence..

Don't feel too bad , so did I ..

HalloweenJack

Daenarys wrote: »

I envy people with good family bonds. In the past having my friends describe their mother as their "best friend" has often reduced me to tears when I would be alone because I have no concept of such a relationship. My family is broken.

I'm the same with regards to fathers. Haven't the foggiest idea what kind of relationship my friends have with their dads. I don't know what a "normal" father-son relationship is supposed to be like and just can't relate one bit to the notion.

GottaGetGatt

48 years married this year.

HiGlo

My parents are just a little over 40 years married and still together. I think it’s moreso out of habit and not wanting to be alone though…. I’m pretty sure my mum loves my dad (and the whole family) wholeheartedly but I actually wouldn't think my dad feels the same about my mum. My mum can be very challenging. From what I can gather they spend most of their time in opposite rooms in the house. They have loved each other over the years, but I think that maybe the love is gone from my dad’s side, I dunno though....

I don’t have a great relationship with my mum myself. A few years back I thought I wanted to improve it, so I briefly tried, but quickly realised that I didn’t care enough and didn’t want a close relationship with her.
I’m much closer to my dad and my brother over my mum and my sister.
I used to lie in bed when I was a kid wishing that my parents would separate (so my mum could be gone from my life) and I could live with my dad.