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Her mother is a living nightmare

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2

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    #32
    jackofalltrades
    Registered Users Posts: 3,253 ✭✭✭jackofalltrades


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    i have no intentions of moving out of my home just yet, i have the easiest life possible and a lovely family, she's the one with the issue at home, not me.

    i probably sound selfish but if i was that selfish i could easily dump her, but that would not be fair on her,

    But i can assure you now, many men my age wouldnt have that in their life, a GF with a **** of a ma and a 7 Year old daughter who is not his.
    Honestly do you love your girlfriend?
    Because the easiest solution in this case is for both of you to move in with each other.
    Everyone should end up happier as a result.

    Yes a lot of men wouldn't go out with a single mother, but that doesn't mean your doing her a huge favour.


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    #33
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    If you think that about her child then do everyone a favour and walk away.


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    #34
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    stoplooklisten wrote: »
    How often does your family offer to mind her daughter for her?I know she not yours, but she is a big part of your life and potentially your step-child.

    They offer all the time but she wont stay with them as she "Will be bored" in her words


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    #35
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    jackofalltrades wrote: »
    Honestly do you love your girlfriend?
    Because the easiest solution in this case is for both of you to move in with each other.
    Everyone should end up happier as a result.

    Yes a lot of men wouldn't go out with a single mother, but that doesn't mean your doing her a huge favour.

    We will be moving in Together next year.


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    #36
    stoplooklisten
    Registered Users Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭stoplooklisten


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    We will be moving in Together next year.

    Then you'll be able to go out as many nights as you want ;)

    I hope you work on bonding with her daughter before the big move


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    #37
    ChampagnePop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 501 ✭✭✭ChampagnePop


    I feel so sorry for the daughter :(


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    #38
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    They offer all the time but she wont stay with them as she "Will be bored" in her words

    She's 7. That's what they do man.


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    #39
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    Jayop wrote: »
    If you think that about her child then do everyone a favour and walk away.

    And that would completely destroy her.


    Why would i walk away? Would that not just be the easy way out??

    i look after her daughter for her.


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    #40
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    stoplooklisten wrote: »
    Then you'll be able to go out as many nights as you want ;)

    I hope you work on bonding with her daughter before the big move

    100% will be bonding once we live Together , cant bond now as the ma does not let anyone in the house etc.

    like i said, her ma has/is ruining everything


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    #41
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    And that would completely destroy her.


    Why would i walk away? Would that not just be the easy way out??

    i look after her daughter for her.

    If you strongly dislike the child then that's the person who needs to be put before both your happiness and your gf's.


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    #42
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    Jayop wrote: »
    She's 7. That's what they do man.

    Yes i know, so that means no nights out for us. well very rare


    How many men would stick around in this situation?


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    #43
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    Jayop wrote: »
    If you strongly dislike the child then that's the person who needs to be put before both your happiness and your gf's.

    not once did i say i disliked her daughter??

    She screams the car down if her ma doesn't get her what she wants, we were in a Pizza place last week, her ma forgot the garlic sauce so she screamed the house down for an hour solid.


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    #44
    ChampagnePop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 501 ✭✭✭ChampagnePop


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    100% will be bonding once we live Together , cant bond now as the ma does not let anyone in the house etc.

    like i said, her ma has/is ruining everything

    Your partner shouldn't be living at home still, it's ridiculous that your blaming the mother.

    I'm also curious- you mentioned that your partner was on the housing list, moving in together is going to effect her claim


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    #45
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    Yes i know, so that means no nights out for us. well very rare


    How many men would stick around in this situation?

    Who gives a crap how many men would "stick around". You either want to be with her or you don't, it's your choice but you can't act like a martyr if you CHOOSE to stay with her.


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    #46
    dodzy
    Registered Users Posts: 10,008 ✭✭✭✭dodzy


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    100% will be bonding once we live Together , cant bond now as the ma does not let anyone in the house etc.

    like i said, her ma has/is ruining everything
    You're tripping yourself up all over the place. You said you look after the daughter....then you can't bond as you can't get into the house, yet you get on well with the Mother.

    Out of interest, and aside to your self confessed "easiest life possible", do you have a job ?


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    #47
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    ChampagnePop wrote: »
    Your partner shouldn't be living at home still, it's ridiculous that your blaming the mother.

    I'm also curious- you mentioned that your partner was on the housing list, moving in together is going to effect her claim


    i have questioned her as to why she hasn't moved out but she only has a part time Job as she has the school run etc , she is very restricted, the childs father isn't around which didn't help either.

    She should have went down the rent allowance route.


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    #48
    ChampagnePop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 501 ✭✭✭ChampagnePop


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    i have questioned her as to why she hasn't moved out but she only has a part time Job as she has the school run etc , she is very restricted, the childs father isn't around which didn't help either.

    She should have went down the rent allowance route.

    I'm guessing that's why her mother is mad at her, she's really not the victim you make her out to be


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    #49
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    Yes i know, so that means no nights out for us. well very rare


    How many men would stick around in this situation?

    That's why I'm telling you to **** or get off the toilet.
    Ken Masters wrote: »
    not once did i say i disliked her daughter??

    She screams the car down if her ma doesn't get her what she wants, we were in a Pizza place last week, her ma forgot the garlic sauce so she screamed the house down for an hour solid.

    You called her a spoiled brat and said you can't bond with her. It sounds very much like you don't like her.

    Look I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I honestly just think you don't realise that a lot kids at that age are incredibly difficult. I have two myself, one was a dream child and everyone thought we were great parents, then the next one came along and he was a nightmare. He's 8 now and only starting to stop the epic tantrums.

    If you don't see yourself long term in this relationship and able to be something of a parent for the kid then you should move on. If you do see that then you need to step up and get your gf and the child out of their horrible situation.


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    #50
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    dodzy wrote: »
    You're tripping yourself up all over the place. You said you look after the daughter....then you can't bond as you can't get into the house, yest you get on well with the Mother.

    Out of interest, and aside to your self confessed "easiest life possible", do you have a job ?


    Theres a difference between bonding and getting along , i get along with the ma even though she's the way she is because i get on with everyone, i find it hard to not get on with people in general, I have been in the house about 6 times in the past 3 Years , and everytime her ma says something smart but i always let it blow over my shoulder as i know the way she is.


    i have a Job myself, but like i said, i have no intention of moving out just yet, I told her we will look for a place in January.


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    #51
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    Jayop wrote: »
    That's why I'm telling you to **** or get off the toilet.



    You called her a spoiled brat and said you can't bond with her. It sounds very much like you don't like her.

    Look I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I honestly just think you don't realise that a lot kids at that age are incredibly difficult. I have two myself, one was a dream child and everyone thought we were great parents, then the next one came along and he was a nightmare. He's 8 now and only starting to stop the epic tantrums.

    If you don't see yourself long term in this relationship and able to be something of a parent for the kid then you should move on. If you do see that then you need to step up and get your gf and the child out of their horrible situation.


    i would love nothing more than being able to bond with her, but you don't know the half of it pal. She's getting worse as she gets older, giving her ma an awful time on a daily basis despite her doing everything for her.


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    #52
    dodzy
    Registered Users Posts: 10,008 ✭✭✭✭dodzy


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    Theres a difference between bonding and getting along , i get along with the ma even though she's the way she is because i get on with everyone, i find it hard to not get on with people in general, I have been in the house about 6 times in the past 3 Years , and everytime her ma says something smart but i always let it blow over my shoulder as i know the way she is.


    i have a Job myself, but like i said, i have no intention of moving out just yet, I told her we will look for a place in January.

    Ken the Troll.... I knew I copped your name from your other gobsh1te thread.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057571685


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    #53
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    i would love nothing more than being able to bond with her, but you don't know the half of it pal. She's getting worse as she gets older, giving her ma an awful time on a daily basis despite her doing everything for her.

    If she's living in a house where her mother is listening to that kind of verbal abuse is it any wonder she's like that? Seems like your girlfriend gets no real respect from anyone, kids will pick up on that. Look I feel sorry for the girl, I know what it's like to have a toxic mother. She won't change . Your girlfriend needs to get out of there.


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    #54
    wardides
    Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭wardides


    I think everyone in this situation could do with growing up. Apart from the Mam, who actually sounds like she could do with a break away from dealing with all this nonsense.


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    #55
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    eviltwin wrote: »
    If she's living in a house where her mother is listening to that kind of verbal abuse is it any wonder she's like that? Seems like your girlfriend gets no real respect from anyone, kids will pick up on that. Look I feel sorry for the girl, I know what it's like to have a toxic mother. She won't change . Your girlfriend needs to get out of there.


    That is the only solution alright.


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    #56
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    dodzy wrote: »
    Ken the Troll.... I knew I copped your name from your other gobsh1te thread.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057571685

    you would be great fun at a party , but you wont see me at that party as we cant get a sitter


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    #57
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    dodzy wrote: »
    Ken the Troll.... I knew I copped your name from your other gobsh1te thread.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057571685
    A post like this is more likely to get you a warning than him. If you think he's trolling report it and let us deal with it.
    Ken Masters wrote: »
    you would be great fun at a party , but you wont see me at that party as we cant get a sitter
    Similar to you - report posts rather than respond to them.


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    #58
    wuzziwig
    Registered Users Posts: 516 ✭✭✭wuzziwig


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    you would be great fun at a party , but you wont see me at that party as we cant get a sitter

    Even though I think you are an a$$hole you did make me laugh at this. :D


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    #59
    AryaStark
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭AryaStark


    Ken Masters wrote: »
    i have no intentions of moving out of my home just yet, i have the easiest life possible and a lovely family, she's the one with the issue at home, not me.

    i probably sound selfish but if i was that selfish i could easily dump her, but that would not be fair on her,

    But i can assure you now, many men my age wouldnt have that in their life, a GF with a **** of a ma and a 7 Year old daughter who is not his.

    Wow you sound like such a keeper. Seriously though if you could 'easily dumb her' and think that she is lucky to even have you then I don't think her mother is her only problem. Sounds like the poor girl has a bitch for a mother and a ****head for a boyfriend.


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    #60
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,096 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    I'd walk and cut my losses if it was me. Better to do it now before you move in together, have a blazing row over the daughter, and you're saddled with all the rent and bills yourself, instead of splitting them with her.


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    #61
    Ken Masters
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Ken Masters


    either i am not doing myself justice with how i am putting this issue out there or i am completely being misjudged here,


    We will just have to ride this wave and wait for an opportunity to move out, I Love my GF dearly, i only came in here to find out the reason why her mother is so nasty but it has somewhat spiralled out of control , i hold my hand up and Say i do look like a complete A****** with the way i have put some things up , but i am not like that at all. Trust me



    Close this thread please before i dig any deeper.


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