Eight years ago, my life changed because of drugs. My story.

AryaStark

U used to take drugs on a daily basis a long time ago and had to stop all of a sudden. My body ended up going into shock because it could not develop serotonin itself! I ended up getting alopecia and had to take meds for about 6 weeks to help my body begin to produce serotonin again!

suicide_circus

God damn part-timers

tomwaterford

[Deleted User] wrote: »

In about thirty years, it could be worth a shot.. I never had a bad time with it. It was the ecstasy alternatives that one, made me do it. And two, resulted in a horrific time.
I sometimes wonder if going back and doing a normal trip like I used to would repair things but I'm not brave enough.

I knew it was a bad idea. Just not while feked. Only myself to blame.

Straight up...I've never done drugs (just personal reasons)...used be friends with lads that would regularly alright


Though it's a very risky stragedy to do it again....but be careful either way??

thattequilagirl

Unsolicited advice

- Don't do it again.

There's no real reason to believe it would make you feel better and good reason to believe it could make things worse.

monkeysnapper

If I'm mistaken boards is a discussion site . people put things up to
... Errr discuss ....

Why do some people attack the op , thinks op is looking for advice , sympathy .

Its really good to talk to people with these kind of life experiences and what happens to other people with same experiences . even if you haven't done the same stuff it may help you understand what someone els might be going through .

Jeeez I feel like I'm jerry bloody springer doing his advice line at end of one of his shows

The flying mouse

Deleted User wrote: »

When I was younger, I was the funniest person in the room. I was successful, nailed uni and had a good job in a bank. I had a great personality.

I had three years of amazing times on acid while doing everything I needed to do. Then I had a mad night where I ended up taking some "legal" drugs and acid at the same time. Chaos, terror and tears ensued and my personality changed forever. I couldn't look at people for months.

I spent about six months trying to get my old personality back. Didn't work. So I left Ireland.
I traveled around Asia. Didn't work. I could manage to be mad but not fun and nice.
In the end, I decided to not go to Australia because I knew my head was screwed so I spent a few months more in Asia learning how to be social and make friends again. Which used to be so easy. It kind of worked.

Five or six years later, my personality is still a bit "off". I've never gotten back my interest in people. I have an amazing girlfriend and we have a great life but I miss the old me. I wish she could see and experience how much life and energy I had, and lost that night.

I'm fine. I can laugh. But the difference is black and white.

Nostalgia. Your problem is not that your past was so much better, but maybe that you are dissatisfied with the present. That’s something everyone goes through, many times, and nostalgia is simply an escape from that.

The flying mouse

monkeysnapper wrote: »

If I'm mistaken boards is a discussion site . people put things up to
... Errr discuss ....

Why do some people attack the op , thinks op is looking for advice , sympathy .

Its really good to talk to people with these kind of life experiences and what happens to other people with same experiences . even if you haven't done the same stuff it may help you understand what someone els might be going through .

Jeeez I feel like I'm jerry bloody springer doing his advice line at end of one of his shows

Well said mr monkeysnapper :)

Liberosis

Liberosis wrote: »

Or, y'know, just don't take it at all...

Saying that is not how you stop a kid taking drugs. It just doesn't work and people better than all of us take drugs.

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

What sparked your decent into hell that night?

Getting locked in bathroom with a broken door. It took ages for friends to kick it in. Then I was getting it back together when an angry as fuk guy arrived and had to be pulled away from me because he thought I was coming onto his girlfriend. I know I was just lying on my back with people sitting around.
It was terrifying.. I've never felt terror like it. Earth shattering fear. I just can't express just how bad acid can make an emotion like that feel. It's why I was crying a few hours later.

thattequilagirl wrote: »

You'd swear some of the people on here never made a stupid decision in their youth.

Yep. And they think their children never will either.. "Drugs are mad m'kay." and the problem will disappear? My parents still don't know.

AryaStark wrote: »

U used to take drugs on a daily basis a long time ago and had to stop all of a sudden. My body ended up going into shock because it could not develop serotonin itself! I ended up getting alopecia and had to take meds for about 6 weeks to help my body begin to produce serotonin again!

That's pretty full on. How's things now?

thattequilagirl

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Unless you've taken hallucenogenics, it's hard to describe the impact it has on you. I believe it happened to me too, but luckily mine was a positive experience. If something fundamental changes overnight, you know.

I've always said, "There's acid and there's drugs." Lots of them are dangerous but only the law puts them together.. Nobody on coke, heroin or meth thinks their guitar amp is screaming at them.

helimachoptor

Deleted User wrote: »

S

Yep. And they think their children never will either.. "Drugs are mad m'kay." and the problem will disappear? My parents still don't know.

Always thought you were older ABG.

I'm sure they've seen a change as fundamental as the one you've described.

Credit to you for posting your experience, so many people think "it wont happen to me"

the evasion_kid

I've abused drugs for years,I've seen friends lose their minds after doing E's and were never right after it,others are still at it with no noticeable effects,however the drug that knocked me for six was alcohol,I'm actually afraid of the power of the bottle after my last stint.

rubadub

diomed wrote: »

Why did you take drugs?

Are you genuinely that fucking ignorant?

Have you ever taken any psychoactive substance at all? coffee, tea, alcohol, cigarettes? No doubt someone you know has so ask them.

20Cent wrote: »

Bit like drinking 10 pints then blaming the burger on the way home for feeling sick the next day.

Not really, we have no idea what the legal drug was, nor the illegal one for that matter as I guess he did not use a test kit.

Many of the legal drugs are considered far more damaging than the illegal ones. The problem nowadays is many drugs are very potent and can be passed off as acid, like NBOMe

Lights On wrote: »

Moderation is key, like everything. Acid is the kind of thing you only need to be doing once or twice a year at most if you're taking it.

Dosage is also important. Many people are taking LSD every few days or daily. Albert Hofmann was said to be frequently dosing like this right up until the end.

It is getting more recognised as a treatment for depression too. It has other medicinal uses, like helping with alcohol withdrawl and treatment of cluster/suicide headaches.


How LSD Microdosing Became the Hot New Business Trip

Regular doses of acid have become the creativity enhancer of choice for some professionals


Mod-Banned

scopper

Legal highs...indeed.

When I was younger I did what we all did drug wise and all was relatively fine. One night I took a pill, a legal high, that I assumed to be an upper but turned out to be a version of LSD-lite (I had taken acid before and it did alter me a bit, but not massively).

Long story short over the next few months I lost all capacity to engage people socially, developed social anxiety disorder and fell into alchoholism and xanax addiction. I managed to get off these after many relapses.

I am OK now, but I will never be the same.

I also know such stories have no effect, but do, at least, keep it in mind.

scopper

Also in reading the thread: unlike OP I took acid only a few times. The common denominator being the legal high.

OP do you remember the effects? My incident was around the same time.

Zaph

The amount of judgemental people on this thread is unbelievable, you'd swear that they were all whiter than white themselves. The OP isn't looking for sympathy, or anything else for that matter, he's simply recounting his own experience with psychoactive substances in the hope that maybe others won't make the same mistakes he did. Whether it was the one "legal high" he took or the cumulative effect of three years of taking acid that caused the problem is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that if people go fcuking about with their brain with substances like this some are going to be casualties. I hope that maybe someday you can recover some of your old personality OP.

Lia_lia

I've never taken acid, always been afraid of having a "bad trip". My cousin took it when she was about 14 and had to be airlifted to hospital. Don't what happened to her really. Bad batch I was told!

I know what you mean about the legal drugs. I took an awful lot of mdma in my late teens/early twenties. Never really had a bad effect on me unless I went on a 4 or 5 day bender (ugh the thoughts of that now!) and felt very depressed for a week or so after. Also caused me to lose lots of weight. However, I took that BZP sh*te a couple of times and genuinely thought I was going die after it. Ended up at a hospital tent at a festival from it and suffered anxiety for a good while afterwards. Think it's illegal now.

jobbridge4life

Deleted User wrote: »

When I was younger, I was the funniest person in the room. I was successful, nailed uni and had a good job in a bank. I had a great personality.

I had three years of amazing times on acid while doing everything I needed to do. Then I had a mad night where I ended up taking some "legal" drugs and acid at the same time. Chaos, terror and tears ensued and my personality changed forever. I couldn't look at people for months.

I spent about six months trying to get my old personality back. Didn't work. So I left Ireland.
I traveled around Asia. Didn't work. I could manage to be mad but not fun and nice.
In the end, I decided to not go to Australia because I knew my head was screwed so I spent a few months more in Asia learning how to be social and make friends again. Which used to be so easy. It kind of worked.

Five or six years later, my personality is still a bit "off". I've never gotten back my interest in people. I have an amazing girlfriend and we have a great life but I miss the old me. I wish she could see and experience how much life and energy I had, and lost that night.

I'm fine. I can laugh. But the difference is black and white.

Okay I have sympathy for you, unlike some others on this thread, and irrespective of whether you are seeking it or not.

Obligatory BUT

'Eight years ago, my life changed because of X'... How many people with different tales and different causes can say the same thing. I wonder how many people badly and longterm affected by drugs might also have been profoundly affected by other events?

Your life (viewed from the outside) is fine, you have a loving partner you literally say you have a great life with her but something happened eight years ago that you can't move on from. What would be the difference between you for instance and individual who becomes consumed by another happening in their life and can't let go? I wonder is it that drugs changed you or if maybe this was a latent aspect of your personality?

In any case I hope you can move on, it sounds like a fairly classic case of depression. If you haven't already I'd talk to a doctor.

LDN_Irish

I very much agree with Jobridge above. I'm not a pro, so this is only based on stuff ive read. But it's possible you have depression stemming from PTSD caused by the night you've told us about. If you haven't, you should try some kind of psychotherapy. Don't write yourself yet mate!

timthumbni

Deleted User wrote: »

Saying that is not how you stop a kid taking drugs. It just doesn't work and people better than all of us take drugs.


Getting locked in bathroom with a broken door. It took ages for friends to kick it in. Then I was getting it back together when an angry as fuk guy arrived and had to be pulled away from me because he thought I was coming onto his girlfriend. I know I was just lying on my back with people sitting around.
It was terrifying.. I've never felt terror like it. Earth shattering fear. I just can't express just how bad acid can make an emotion like that feel. It's why I was crying a few hours later.


Yep. And they think their children never will either.. "Drugs are mad m'kay." and the problem will disappear? My parents still don't know.



That's pretty full on. How's things now?

Violence or the threat of violence whilst on acid is a very dodgy thing and can only end up badly. I have experienced a bad trip when much younger. Horrifically bad. It's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't had one but it's like being in your own personal horror movie with you as the very frightened lead actor. I would advise anyone considering taking acid not to bother as it's just not worth the risk of a bad trip.

Even with the good trips I used to suffer with bad comedowns where I couldn't sleep and went round in circles in my head like a dog chasing its own tail.

I don't think that people realise just how dangerous acid and other drugs can be. Your story should act as a warning to anyone curious. Acid can make wee boys out of the biggest of men.

Have you tried a shrink??? I'm not into that myself but who knows.

arayess

having taken drugs for over 20 years I think the legal highs from the headshops were the worst drugs ever.
took them once and never again.

many of my peers agree - they are the spawn of satan.

LDN_Irish

arayess wrote: »

having taken drugs for over 20 years I think the legal highs from the headshops were the worst drugs ever.
took them once and never again.

many of my peers agree - they are the spawn of satan.

I'm the same. Never experienced a comedown like it. Not aimed at yourself in particular, but I really think "research chemicals" is a better name for them. I'd never use myself as a test case again and I got away extremely lightly. I had an 8 day come down and felt hard done by it. It could've been a whole lot longer and a while lot worse.

Oh yeah, the head shop stuff was nuts. 10 years back we would buy lots of it and start into it on a Friday. By Saturday night we were fairly wrecked. Can't say I had any bad experience worse than paranoia while on it, or puking. But saw a few go off their heads.

Skylinehead

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

Zaph - I had a thread less than a week ago in relation to being drugged. I was reprimanded publicly for being aggressive (I mentioned aggression to whoever had drugged me). You completely villified me when I complained about how I was treated on thread by moderators. I'm not sure that you're the best person to be commenting on this thread. You seem to pick and chose your causes. My reasons for posting were exactly the same as this OP. I wanted to get a message across. I know that you're Zaph, Category Moderator extraordinaire, but don't let the little bit of 'power' go to your head.

Mod: Drop it.

endacl

Zaph wrote: »

The amount of judgemental people on this thread is unbelievable, you'd swear that they were all whiter than white themselves. The OP isn't looking for sympathy, or anything else for that matter, he's simply recounting his own experience with psychoactive substances in the hope that maybe others won't make the same mistakes he did. Whether it was the one "legal high" he took or the cumulative effect of three years of taking acid that caused the problem is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that if people go fcuking about with their brain with substances like this some are going to be casualties. I hope that maybe someday you can recover some of your old personality OP.

Read the first few replies, and headed to the last page to post exactly that.

Hope things work out for you OP.

jobbridge4life

It is worth pointing out, even if its unlikely to be popular, that generalisations such as 'my life changed because of drugs' and 'the head shop stuff was nuts' are not conducive to an intelligent debate or the formulation of informed and effective public policy.

When the OP refers to 'drugs', for instance, he is not talking about a one of encounter with cannabis, LSD or even the fairly amorphous category of 'legal highs'. He is talking about fairly extensive use of acid, and mixing this with other drugs. It is also important to remember that all of this happened in a place where the government, who are so concerned with our health they want to regulate our consumption to the point that a chipper has to tell you explicitly that the half pounder burger with extra cheese and bacon is full of calories, willfully and in spite of the evidence, chooses not to regulate.

It needs to be said because stories like the OP's and some from others on this thread are regularly, and sadly effectively, trotted out to justify prohibition and Government negligence in this regard. These stories are consequence of such a policy and not a reason to embrace it further.

wandatowell

It's always great to learn from other people's bad experiences.

When I was in first year my school had this fella come down from Dublin to talk about his experiences on drugs and what it did to his life.

I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.

jobbridge4life

wandatowell wrote: »

It's always great to learn from other people's bad experiences.

When I was in first year my school had this fella come down from Dublin to talk about his experiences on drugs and what it did to his life.

I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.

I suppose you put down the coffee and swore off painkillers?

Martypants1

Read the whole thread and all I know is drugs are bad, which anyone who doesn't know this has much more serious issues than drug use anyways.

mynameis905

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

Unfortunately I believe it is. My brother is a doctor and warned me at the time that ecstasy burns the receptors (i.e the little connections that pass serotonin on). I feel lucky that I had a 'bad buzz', as the first time was so good as to be completely addictive.

A doctor of what exactly? Bro science?

wandatowell

jobbridge4life wrote: »

I suppose you put down the coffee and swore off painkillers?

What other drugs are there???

PancakeJOE

OP your personality will never return the same way,You fried it,This part of your life is about building a new persona,Full of anxiety and veiled confidence the options are join AA and spend you life personal life comfortable with similar people in the same position terribly boring and almost devout choice,Go back on drugs or bite the bullet and start a new,Any time you begin to build up new friendships explain that you were an addict otherwise you will feel like you are hiding a dirty secret and im sure a dirty past as id be amazed if you managed to survive years on drugs without making terrible choices along the way.

Best of luck.

sabat

wandatowell wrote: »

I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.

I think this is part of the problem-the idea of trying to scare adolescents with catastrophic tales ("I ended up sucking dicks for a rock of crack") is flawed because it's unrepresentative of general experiences and appears so far removed from the actuality ("I smoked a few joints with my mates, best laugh ever") that it just sounds untruthful.
My own take on it is that sustained recreational drug use more than likely won't make you a smackhead or basketcase but probably will mean you don't do as well in life as you could have.

Arsemageddon

PancakeJOE wrote: »

OP your personality will never return the same way,You fried it,This part of your life is about building a new persona,Full of anxiety and veiled confidence the options are join AA and spend you life personal life comfortable with similar people in the same position terribly boring and almost devout choice,Go back on drugs or bite the bullet and start a new,Any time you begin to build up new friendships explain that you were an addict otherwise you will feel like you are hiding a dirty secret and im sure a dirty past as id be amazed if you managed to survive years on drugs without making terrible choices along the way.

Best of luck.

Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.

LDN_Irish

Arsemageddon wrote: »

Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.

But funniest post on the thread. So a bit of light relief at least.

PancakeJOE

Arsemageddon wrote: »

Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.

Reality bro what am i supposed to tell him 'dont worry it will be all right,You will be back to yourself in no time despite years of being clean already and still feeling like sh!t' ;-P

Arsemageddon

PancakeJOE wrote: »

Reality bro what am i supposed to tell him 'dont worry it will be all right,You will be back to yourself in no time despite years of being clean already and still feeling like sh!t' ;-P

If you have nothing useful to say then don't say anything at all.

There's nothing more useless than advice from an amateur psychiatrist who thinks they know what they are talking about. You seem not to have even bothered to read what the OP has written.

PancakeJOE

Arsemageddon wrote: »

If you have nothing useful to say then don't say anything at all.

There's nothing more useless than advice from an amateur psychiatrist.

Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

I went for the third option.

Arsemageddon

PancakeJOE wrote: »

Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

I went for the third option.

The OP said he was fond of acid when he was younger, same as many other people are. He also said he took up some head-shop muck that flipped his head and he hasn't been the same since.

At no point did he say he was an addict. I seriously doubt he has any intention of ever taking anything again.

If AA or NA worked for you then that's great, I'm happy for ya. But your advice is like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole.

buried

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

Unfortunately I believe it is. My brother is a doctor and warned me at the time that ecstasy burns the receptors (i.e the little connections that pass serotonin on). I feel lucky that I had a 'bad buzz', as the first time was so good as to be completely addictive.

Brain receptor's? Anytime I have the misfortune to witness one second of any TV Soap opera, the receptors in my brain get napalmed like a south eastern Asian jungle in the 1970's, nevermind getting burnt. I could even get addicted to this soap stuff and sit there every night glawping and drooling over 4-5 continuous hours of the stuff. But nobody is going to be banning the eastender emmerdale farm coronation street for mine or anybody else's behalf or benefit anytime soon.

mynameis905

PancakeJOE wrote: »

Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

I went for the third option.

He took LSD ffs. It's not remotely addictive.

OP needs a good doctor and a therapist or psychiatrist if necessary, not AA's unique brand of quackery and pseudoscientific mumbo jumbo.

beertons

Fair play for opening up about it. I never did acid, but did a lot of others. A friend of a friend was a fiend for it. Took a bad one with a gang one night, has a funny speech impediment now and can't feed himself. All that were with him that night can't believe what happened, it could have happened to any of them.

jobbridge4life

wandatowell wrote: »

What other drugs are there???

Christ's love but you're not invited.

*you are though*

PancakeJOE

mynameis905 wrote: »

He took LSD ffs. It's not remotely addictive.

OP needs a good doctor and a therapist or psychiatrist if necessary, not AA's unique brand of quackery and pseudoscientific mumbo jumbo.

True,

'Research shows that most LSD users voluntarily discontinue or decrease use over time. So medical professionals don’t believe it’s possible to become addicted to acid. There is little information on the frequent, repeated use of the drug because such use is extremely rare. No withdrawal effects have been noted upon cessation of LSD dosing. However, tolerance to LSD can eventually develop, leading to riskier behaviors and higher doses.'

He took acid for 3 years with other drugs he obviously would of gained psychological dependency on these drugs. ie 'i really really really like it and want more' just because hes not physically addicted doesnt mean the drugs are not a problem some people destroy their lives being addicted to sex or gambling.

cassid

Thank you for sharing your story. I have just put my children to bed and I read this, I am thinking to myself, how the hell I am going to watch them when they are older.

I remember years ago listening to Gerry Ryan and the drugged up housewifes of Ireland. There were so many women who called in or left messages who were addicted to medication given by doctors or over the counter. There was one women, sounded like a normal women with a family who could not get through her day without 24 neurofen. She was one of many. I wonder is it any different now in Ireland ?

jobbridge4life

jobbridge4life wrote: »

It is worth pointing out, even if its unlikely to be popular, that generalisations such as 'my life changed because of drugs' and 'the head shop stuff was nuts' are not conducive to an intelligent debate or the formulation of informed and effective public policy.
...
It needs to be said because stories like the OP's and some from others on this thread are regularly, and sadly effectively, trotted out to justify prohibition and Government negligence in this regard. These stories are consequence of such a policy and not a reason to embrace it further.

Erm, what's far less helpful to intelligent debate are assumptions.

I said the head shop stuff was nuts, from my experience. But I was and am completely against prohibition and the decision to shut then, as if they were somehow at the root of society's problems. It was a decision fuelled by hysteria on Joe Duffy.

D.Q

The head shop stuff was absolutely ridiculous. Mephedrone absolutely ravaged alot of people I know. Still aren't right.

Victor

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

You spent three years on acid and you blame your personality change on one night on a legal high?

The effects of common drugs are well known. The effects of combinations of drugs are less well known, in particular for less common drugs. The effects of combinations of drugs on particular individuals can be difficult to predict.

For example, the effects of alcohol are well known, but there is huge variation in the effect of alcohol on each individual - some people are happy drunks while other are angry drunks. The effects of pain killers are well known amongst medical professionals, while lay people are inclined to abuse them. Mixing alcohol with pain killers is a dangerous combination, as the alcohol will occupy the brain receptors that the pain killers would otherwise use. Potentially the effect of the pain killers is lost when people take the alcohol and kick in again as the alcohol wears off, resulting in highs and lows that can result in erratic behaviour.

whatawaster81

Thinly veiled I can't handle my acid thread.

JustAThought

A grim story - I'm very sorry OP - thanks for sharing Its good to remember again to be scared of things from time to time - especially as a (bored) adult when so much is accessible.

There is a frightening series of documentaries on opuate addictions & MDMA addictions on documentaryheaven.com - it would frighten the underwear off you. There is a particularly grim series of Ads doing rhe rounds on youtube - meth - not even once - its not acid but everyone involved says once you start unless you are the one in ten thousand you will be destroyed by it - God knows what are in most of these drugs - people are playing russian roulette with their brainfunction. At least you are still here & functioning & coherent - can you hold down a job?

bilbot79

Schwiiing wrote: »

Your own choice, your own fault.

No sympathy here.

Lovely