Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

Big Vern

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

GOLDFINGER!

Anyone else singing Goldfinger, i know i have since i seen this post!!

artvanderlay

"Lonely nights in the desert" :pac:

artvanderlay

When bantz goes too far for Alan (10:52 to 11:17)



https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x59yyiz

dasdog

"Unlike factory workers, cabbies or teachers, radio DJs can't just take ten days off whenever the feeling takes them. I happen to have enormous respect for all of those professions, but — and I think they'd agree with this — one factory worker or cabbie or teacher is much the same as any other. Take the teachers. No one's ever heard of a pupil turning up to class to find there isn't a teacher there. Instead, if the rostered educator is absent, another one simply takes his or her place, with no harm done to academic standards. Hardworking and valuable as they are, you'd never hear anyone say they remembered a specific, say, English teacher. All they'd remember is that they were taught English. But with DJs it's different."

I'm listening to the Nomad audio book at the moment. There's four hours of this :pac:

De Bhál

I'm Alan Partridge - Commentary with Alan and Lynn

I hadn't heard this before

Ipso

What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down?

Thargor

Ipso wrote: »

What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down?

That whole scene is gold

Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. It begin in forest in Germany...

Alan Partridge: It's Austria! Austria!

John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack...

Alan Partridge: "Goldfinger"!

Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down?

Tex: Isn't that, er, "Thunderball"?

Alan Partridge: No. No! No! No! Stop getting Bond wrong! I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". All do that with your fingers round your eye. I am Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in "The Onedin Line" comes in and goes, "Why are the cups wobbling? What's going on?" And then... yeah, you can stop doing that now. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." And then we cut to Moscow. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? You're joking! I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!" Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's necking with her. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Something's come up."

Michael: Aye. He means his cock.

Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian ****s in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, "Right! I've had enough of that! Just stop it!" And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die! But then at the last minute...

Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack...

Alan Partridge: Michael! Michael!

Michael: But that'show it ends.

Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, da, der. I wasn't looking, so now you found me... ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love life - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger; ooh, look at that... Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks... The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Too late... Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!

Ash.J.Williams

Colm nob hayes on Nova has a young female co-host on Fridays and the dynamic is identical to Alan and his female sidekick replacement on mid morning matters

astrofool

Being listened to by the security guard in the latest Chemical Brothers video

about 3:18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wzR_BVFsUU

Big Vern

Mr B Oddie, this is Bill Oddie. It’s not a crank call. Why have you put it on there?

Ipso

Body.
What’s obscen about a body?
Tits!

fryup

Re: the chemical bothers video above

in the words of alan "did you see that did you see that..what a video!!"

Ipso

Alan: Oh dear. Tonight, I was that close, that close to being infamous. I don’t want to be infamous, I want to be fa-mous. Famous. It’s like the Rudyard Kipling poem, “If”. You know that? If you do x, y and z, Bob’s your uncle. Do you want a lift to the cab rank?
Lynn: Oh yes, thank you. I would.
Alan: Mind you, it’s only a 15-minute walk.
Lynn: Yes, mmm.
Alan: Right. Be careful, ‘cause there’s no lights on the dual carriageway.

Big Vern

Ipso wrote: »

Alan: Oh dear. Tonight, I was that close, that close to being infamous. I don’t want to be infamous, I want to be fa-mous. Famous. It’s like the Rudyard Kipling poem, “If”. You know that? If you do x, y and z, Bob’s your uncle. Do you want a lift to the cab rank?
Lynn: Oh yes, thank you. I would.
Alan: Mind you, it’s only a 15-minute walk.
Lynn: Yes, mmm.
Alan: Right. Be careful, ‘cause there’s no lights on the dual carriageway.

:D:D:D:D:D
I love that bit!!!

artvanderlay

I love the opening credits to Alpha Papa. Alan miming along to Cuddly Toy with real enthusiasm.

@0:55 "YOUR FOG LAMPS ARE ON...YOUR FOG LAMPS ARE ON, THERE'S NO FOG...THERE'S NO FOG!...NO FOG!!!"



and then straight back into miming along :pac:





I also love the scene where Alan goes to the police station to report Pat, and he lists Pat's offences...can't remember it exactly, but he says something like "thuggery...brandishment". Brandishment :D:D That always got me!

fryup

Michael: but mr partridge thats my job i'm here to help thats what it says on my badge

Alan: no it doesn't it just says Michael...why did you think it says the rest?

Michael: Ah I, don't know must have dream't it :pac:

mrmorgan

started backing watching these again, what a man

whats the name of the movie again??

IamtheWalrus

mrmorgan wrote: »

started backing watching these again, what a man

whats the name of the movie again??

Alpha Pappa. 6/10

fryup

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Alpha Pappa. 6/10

4/10 from me, wasn't a patch on the TV series

artvanderlay

Alpha Papa got 7/10 for me. It was very different to the TV shows (as it had to be, otherwise how do you justify making a movie?), but it still had enough individual moments to make it quite funny. I rarely go to the cinema any more and seeing Alan on the big screen was an unexpected opportunity I couldn't pass up. I also liked Colm Meaney in it, but for me it was the start of the downwards quality of the writing, that continued into Mid Morning Matters 2 and Alan's Scissored Isle. I'm not expecting much from Alan's new BBC show: I think Armando Iannucci was the quality control with Alan, and since he left, there's nobody shooting down bad ideas.

MillField

I thought Alpha Papa was very good. Mid Morning Matters had it's moments too. Peak Partridge was I'm Alan Partridge series 1 for me.

artvanderlay

The look he gives Alan @01:51 :pac:




Also, there's a bit in I,Partridge where Alan talks about the two Hollywood child actor brats that appeared on KMKY. One of they grew up to be the image of Richard Gere, and is now working as a gay porn star. His movies pay sardonic homage to Gere's films: "...Pretty Man, Gays of Heaven, and an Orifice And A Gentle Hand..."

IamtheWalrus

I wonder did the lack of laughter track in the movie make it less enjoyable. I'm not saying it would have improved the quality of the show, just one's perception of it.

Grayditch

Alpha Papa, seven on ten.

jaykay74

Great BMW Power jacket

https://twitter.com/AccidentalP/status/1071344350905421824

fryup

to kick off the new year, here's a beaut from i partridge in which Alan describes his first few days living in the travel tavern...

"But if kettle cuisine wasn't good enough for you, there were other in-room options too.
At one point i smuggled in a microwave, though annoyingly the game was up within a week. A passing member of staff was alerted by its unusually loud ding (a common failing of the newer Sanyos). I usually muffled the sound by covering it with my duvet and lying on top of it but this time i'd forgotten, distracted by a cracking pile up on the A11 eastbound (guestimatted fatalities: four, excluding livestock).
I tried to claim i wasn't using the microwave to cook but to dry undies, but they refused to believe me..you win some you lose some."

Ash.J.Williams

fryup wrote: »

to kick off the new year, here's a beaut from i partridge in which Alan describes his first few days living in the travel tavern...

"But if kettle cuisine wasn't good enough for you, there were other in-room options too.
At one point i smuggled in a microwave, though annoyingly the game was up within a week. A passing member of staff was alerted by its unusually loud ding (a common failing of the newer Sanyos). I usually muffled the sound by covering it with my duvet and lying on top of it but this time i'd forgotten, distracted by a cracking pile up on the A11 eastbound (guestimatted fatalities: four, excluding livestock).
I tried to claim i wasn't using the microwave to cook but to dry undies, but they refused to believe me..you win some you lose some."

That reads brilliantly as alan

IamtheWalrus

I tell you I met Alan once? The real Alan. In a Waterstones many moons ago when he was signing his first book (second if you count Bouncing Back). In inimitable Alan style, he wore a surgical glove to prevent the transfer of germs when handshaking the general public. Before that he read some passages from his book and we all laughed heartily. Most pleasant chap.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^

did he combine the handshake with a business card??

he gave a paper-cut to a man from nestle once

Ciaran_B

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

I tell you I met Alan once? The real Alan. In a Waterstones many moons ago when he was signing his first book (second if you count Bouncing Back). In inimitable Alan style, he wore a surgical glove to prevent the transfer of germs when handshaking the general public. Before that he read some passages from his book and we all laughed heartily. Most pleasant chap.

Was that the one where he arrived in the vandalized car?