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Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

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    #182
    stoplooklisten
    Registered Users Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭stoplooklisten


    Evolution not revolution, because I evolve , but I don't ... revolve


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    #183
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,516 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    stoplooklisten wrote: »
    Evolution not revolution, because I evolve , but I don't ... revolve
    Alan: I suppose, what you're trying to say is, you don't want another Chris Evans on your hands.
    Tony Hayers: No, that is what we want.
    Alan: I'm your man!


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    #184
    Thargor
    Registered Users Posts: 17,929 ✭✭✭✭Thargor


    The coffin dance is hilarious:



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    #185
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    "I was going to play 'London Calling' by The Clash, but... it's awful."


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    #186
    loyatemu
    Registered Users Posts: 14,889 ✭✭✭✭loyatemu


    How's the Edge?
    The Edge is fine
    How's Adam Clayton?
    Adam Clayton's fine
    How's, eh, the drummer?
    The drummer's fine

    He is not Bono. He is rubbish!


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    #187
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,865 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    loyatemu wrote: »
    How's the Edge?
    The Edge is fine
    How's Adam Clayton?
    Adam Clayton's fine
    How's, eh, the drummer?
    The drummer's fine

    He is not Bono. He is rubbish!

    I was at the pop concert.


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    #188
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,973 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Sordid little grief hole :)


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    #189
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    "Don't rub your FANNY ON MEEEE"


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    #190
    Valentina
    Registered Users Posts: 4,281 ✭✭✭Valentina


    loyatemu wrote: »
    How's the Edge?
    The Edge is fine
    How's Adam Clayton?
    Adam Clayton's fine
    How's, eh, the drummer?
    The drummer's fine

    He is not Bono. He is rubbish!

    Lynn, are those your mother's cataract glasses?


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    #191
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    Valentina wrote: »
    Lynn, are those your mother's cataract glasses?

    "Help yourself to a scone. You’re probably sick of canteen food from being on tour… I forgot, you’re not Bono."


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    #192
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,742 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Out for dinner with Tony Hayers.

    "I will have.....a pint of bitter.


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    #193
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    .red. wrote: »
    The air guitar is another classic scene. I love how he goes to take the guitar strap off his shoulder at the end


    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nNDqzpgzdis

    Its air bass, stop getting Partridge wrong! :D


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    #194
    dr.fuzzenstein
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Ciaran_B wrote: »
    I only noticed, after my millionth rewatch, that this is the set up of a joke that we get the pay off for later in the episode.

    Zombies, by their very nature, are inconsistent.


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    #195
    stimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 7,819 ✭✭✭stimpson


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq0BITsiqQg


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    #196
    Valentina
    Registered Users Posts: 4,281 ✭✭✭Valentina


    [Singing] Tell you what, it's nine and a half thousand pounds!


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    #197
    tipptom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,219 ✭✭✭tipptom


    dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »
    Zombies, by their very nature, are inconsistent.
    Indeed,and the tungsten tip screws came in handy for demonstrating that very point.


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    #198
    stoplooklisten
    Registered Users Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭stoplooklisten


    Lap dance scene:

    ?:I like your thong


    Alan: It's polyurethane rubber so it doesn't perish


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    #199
    tipptom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,219 ✭✭✭tipptom


    Michael;So what did you do last night?


    Alan;Just stayed in and watched a documentary about quick sand,then Sonja and I took our tops of and had a cuddle,followed by mince beef and onions,dosent get much better than that.


    M;It did for me,i had more than a cuddle last night,i had full sex with a woman.


    A;Go on,Go on!


    M;She was all over us,man,I Mean she's a bit older than me, like,shes 60.


    A;What!,shes 60?


    M;Aye,whats wrong with that,the same age as you and Sonja?


    A;Yea,that's just wrong,you shouldn't do it the other way round.


    M;We did!!


    A; 60s not really old is it?,I meal look at Bob Dylan.


    M;Aye,she looked a bit like him


    Alan;What with big nose and lots of mad hair?


    M;Aye,do you know her?


    A;How did you meet her?


    M;Outside Threshers,she was loading all this booze in to the back of her car.
    And she says "Oh,Ive had a bit to drink",like,"would you drive us home.........to Cardiff".


    A;To Cardiff???!!


    M;Aye,I came back this morning on the national express coach.It was sort of like a secret SAS operation,you know,Your mission:Gan to Cardiff,have full sex with a woman,come back on a coach.Sort of like operation Bravo two zero.


    A;I think in your case Michael it was more like bravo 6-0 by Randy McNab!


    M;Hey,Randy McNob!!!


    A;Stop that now!


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    #200
    Thargor
    Registered Users Posts: 17,929 ✭✭✭✭Thargor


    stoplooklisten wrote: »
    Lap dance scene:

    ?:I like your thong


    Alan: It's polyurethane rubber so it doesn't perish
    Alans thong was vulcanised rubber, polyurethane was the laquer he reccomended for Tonys Hayers coffin so it didnt rot :D


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    #201
    tipptom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,219 ✭✭✭tipptom


    Thargor wrote: »
    Alans thong was vulcanised rubber, polyurethane was the laquer he reccomended for Tonys Hayers coffin so it didnt rot :D
    Unlike the lining in Alans 80s shorts which did rot and let the boys out of the barracks.


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    #202
    groucho marx
    Registered Users Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭groucho marx


    Dan dan dan dan dan daaaaan


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    #203
    dasdog
    Registered Users Posts: 3,583 ✭✭✭dasdog


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYEG38P_yU


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    #204
    tipptom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,219 ✭✭✭tipptom


    Alan;You threw a monkey in the sea?!!


    Michael;Well,it had eaten all my fags,it was 200 duty free carton like.so I picked it up and threw it in the sea.


    A;You threw a monkey in the sea?!!
    Thats awful,i mean I was fishing for some sort of funny story but that's just upsetting


    M;Well you know,i just wasn't thinking straight,I got the red mist in front of me eyes and I just hurled it in the sea.


    A;Will you stop saying you threw your monkey in the sea?
    All I can see is a monkey spinning towards the water.


    M;Well it didn't go straight in the water.It bounced of a rock first.


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    #205
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,516 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    Now I must say I'm very grateful you've come over. Big fans of all the Irish stuff. Love your pop music, Enya...

    And the other one...ripped up the pope, bald chap.


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    #206
    groucho marx
    Registered Users Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭groucho marx


    Couple of gremlins in the system there


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    #207
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,973 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    love this...


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AtQLkpTGsA


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7SFj6VKjqA


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    #208
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users Posts: 72,516 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    It's four-fifty a.m. The Queen is dead, long live the King Singers!

    (Later)

    Now, we've had several calls during the last few hours concerning a humorous comment I made some time ago. Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners...and a newspaper. So, just to repeat, QUEEN ELIZABETH IS NOT DEAD.




    Unless she went in the night, and is yet to be discovered by the maid.


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    #209
    Thargor
    Registered Users Posts: 17,929 ✭✭✭✭Thargor


    tipptom wrote: »
    [/B] Unlike the lining in Alans 80s shorts which did rot and let the boys out of the barracks.
    It didnt rot it perished!


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    #210
    Sir Oxman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,492 ✭✭✭Sir Oxman


    “I flew to Gothenburg to negotiate directly with Bjorny and Ben’s lawyers for exclusive rights to shout, but not say, the word ‘Aha’ 50 times per year in perpetuity for the rest of my life or until 2015, whichever comes sooner.”


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    #211
    Grayditch
    Registered Users Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    Alan:Actually, can I have a look at that list. I want to get to the bottom of this.
    Mr. G. String…Mr. Nick Hers…Y. Front… Mr. T. Osser? That doesn’t even work.
    Mr. B. Ody – this is Bill Oddie. It’s not a prank call. Why have you put it on there?

    Susan: Well, we thought it looked like ‘body’.

    Alan: What’s rude about a body?

    Sophie    : Tits?


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