Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

ronnie3585

Now, who's this beautiful, blond man with a lovely voice?

It's Annie Lennox.

stoplooklisten

You're sacked! You are sacked, I'm sacking you. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. You've been sacked. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. A-ha!

Mike Litoris

I've got your kids, Dan. I've got your kids!

Welsh Megaman

BMMachine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xXT9yq84eQ

stoplooklisten

I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child.





Just passed his details on to the Social Services

Grayditch

Right it's sorted then, we'll visit your mother's grave then watch Dr. No... the underground base of an evil genius...

and then Dr No.

Realt Dearg Sec

Caller - "I'd like to go round Lego land with Sean Connery then afterwards go for a lovely lamb lunch in the centre of Windsor"

Alan - "Gotta say I don't think that's Connery's cup of tea, I think Sean would rather wander round the wildfowl park in Pepperstock with a bottle of Scotch"

Caller - "I don't agree, he'd go to Lego land, bye"

Jimbob1977

Alan: Jill, whoa whoa. Jill… Jill! What are you doing!? For God’s sake, Jill, what are you doing!?

[The lights come back on to reveal Alan standing by the bed. Chocolate mousse is smeared all over the front of his dressing gown and his face.]

Alan: Jill, God’s sake!

[Jill also has chocolate mousse on her face.]

Jill: Well I just thought I’d pour chocolate mousse over you.

Alan: You’ve got it on the bedsheets, you’ve got it on my dressing gown, you’ve got it on the valance…

Jill: The what?

Alan: The skirt thing round the side of the bed.

Jill: I thought it’d be erotic.

Alan: Oh, Jill. Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!

Jill: Come on, it’s only a bit of chocolate!

Alan: It may be chocolate to you, Jill, but to an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of… dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it’s not five-star but it’s certainly competitive.

MillField

stoplooklisten

[There is a knock on the door.]

Alan: Oh God.

[Alan goes to answer the door. It’s Michael.]

Michael: Is everything alright, Mr. Partridge? I heard a bit of commotion.

Alan: No, no it’s fine.

Michael: Oh, right. Erm, do you know you’ve got chocolate on your face?

Alan: Yeah, I’ve just been eating some mousse.

Michael: Right, right, fine.

[Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it.]

Michael: Aye, well, you’ve missed a bit.

Alan: I’ll deal with it later.

Michael: Right, hey, it reminds me of this time, you know, we’d camouflaged ourselves up ‘cause we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but…

Alan: [Interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning?

Michael: Well, no, I won’t be on in the morning ‘cause I’m doin’ lates now, right, so I don’t come on until about two o’clock. So, you know…

Alan: Well, you know, ‘when de boot comes in’.

Michael: Oh.

Alan: Now, er, booger off.

Michael: Aye, OK. [Saluting] Message understood, sir!

Alan: Stand down, at ease… [irritated] you’re not in the army anymore.

groucho marx

You have minor womens whiplash

Grayditch

Any quote - GIF.
https://partridge.cloud/

Realt Dearg Sec

- Isn't that Thunderball?
-NO! STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

Grayditch

Grayditch wrote: »

Any quote - GIF.
https://partridge.cloud/

Sir Oxman

Alan Partridge's 'Scissored Isle' ***NEW PARTRIDGE STUFF***

Apparently this was on Sky Atlantic tucked away after Game of thrones lat Monday, never knew, going to catchup with it this evening.
Repeated on Sky Atlantic Friday 03/06 at 9pm

"Alan leaves behind his comfortable existence and heads to the north to ask whether, in this once united kingdom, a 'schasm' has formed between north and south."

Back of the net!

Sir Oxman

Scissored Isle - hilarious especially the warehouse gopro bit

messy tessy

Sir Oxman wrote: »

Scissored Isle - hilarious especially the warehouse gopro bit

And the Tesco bit -

As my shift on the tills wore on I realised something extraordinary - I was absolutely brilliant at scanning. The female side of my brain, long dormant, had somehow been re-triggered.

Mike Litoris

I'm half way through this. It is ****ing gold! The whole Tesco piece.


For me, this is the best thing he's done since the original 2 full seasons.

messy tessy

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CvtHkSimFTI

You go careful there now my love

Sir Oxman

Mike Litoris wrote: »

I'm half way through this. It is ****ing gold! The whole Tesco piece.


For me, this is the best thing he's done since the original 2 full seasons.

That'll keep this thread going for a year

phonypony

This was fab! thanks to Rjd2 on the other thread for the heads up

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

MillField

Where can it be watched?

Greyjoy

Overall I thought it was good but not great. However Alan's interview the morning after the party was absolute gold. I was crying with laughter so much that it started annoying Mrs Greyjoy in the next room.

messy tessy

Fred Swanson wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I think it was a once off. I checked sky Atlantic for the same time next week and it's not listed

Another quality line from it:

We've all got our favourite kind of bank: high street, investment, sand or sperm.

Mike Litoris

"That 911 debacle"

Valentina

So will there be no more MMM?

Alan with his dog, Seldom: One of his quirks is, if you make eye contact with him, he will attack you.

Welsh Megaman

MillField wrote: »

Where can it be watched?

Repeated tomorrow night on Sky Atlantic at 9pm

Ould Mr Brennan

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

Repeated tomorrow night on Sky Atlantic at 9pm

Kiss my face