Reasonable maintenance?

Hannaho

Just wondering what people think is reasonable maintenance - my maintenance for 2 children - teenagers is e900, plus educational and medical expenses - Court Order - but their dad just now wants to pay the e900 and no educational or medical expenses. For the last two years my daughter needed braces - would have had to get her teeth crowned eventually if she didn't get them and my son now also has to get braces due to getting problems with his jaw joint if he doesn't get them- My daughter's braces were 2000 per year for last two years. On top of that I spent e1200 between G.P. visits, two A&E visits, ingrown toenail surgery for my son and two gynae appointments for my daughter. On top of that my daughter's and son's secondary school books were just over e800. My daughter is doing music for JC and will be doing it for LC and needs to get to a certain grade on the piano for this - piano less for this are 1300 per year. She also gets a weekly maths grind e40 as she was really struggling at maths. Our food bill alone is about e1400 a month with two teenagers - they are always hungry! When the maintenance order was taken out - their dad had them every second weekend and for three weeks in the summer - he hasn't now seen them in over four years - and made no attempt to have access.

He says his hours as a college lecturer have been reduced substantially, but I know this isn't true - he is employed by another organisation also - but says this has stopped - but I know from someone working in the organisation - he is still employed there - he also has another business - and it's still active according to his website. His wife also works part-time - they have two children aged 1 and 3 He has a senior academic position and used to be on a salary of almost e100k. My own salary is 56k.

Any advice - objective view of the maintenance would be very welcome.

stefanovich

Hannaho wrote: »

Just wondering what people think is reasonable maintenance - my maintenance for 2 children - teenagers is e900, plus educational and medical expenses - Court Order - but their dad just now wants to pay the e900 and no educational or medical expenses. For the last two years my daughter needed braces - would have had to get her teeth crowned eventually if she didn't get them and my son now also has to get braces due to getting problems with his jaw joint if he doesn't get them- My daughter's braces were 2000 per year for last two years. On top of that I spent e1200 between G.P. visits, two A&E visits, ingrown toenail surgery for my son and two gynae appointments for my daughter. On top of that my daughter's and son's secondary school books were just over e800. My daughter is doing music for JC and will be doing it for LC and needs to get to a certain grade on the piano for this - piano less for this are 1300 per year. She also gets a weekly maths grind e40 as she was really struggling at maths. Our food bill alone is about e1400 a month with two teenagers - they are always hungry! When the maintenance order was taken out - their dad had them every second weekend and for three weeks in the summer - he hasn't now seen them in over four years - and made no attempt to have access.

He says his hours as a college lecturer have been reduced substantially, but I know this isn't true - he is employed by another organisation also - but says this has stopped - but I know from someone working in the organisation - he is still employed there - he also has another business - and it's still active according to his website. His wife also works part-time - they have two children aged 1 and 3 He has a senior academic position and used to be on a salary of almost e100k. My own salary is 56k.

Any advice - objective view of the maintenance would be very welcome.

You are guessing how much he earns. Would it not be up to a judge to decide if maintenance can be reduced based on reduced income of the father?

Do your children not have health insurance? If not why not? If so you can claim at least half of those medical expenses back...

Is he asking you for a favour? Tell him to talk to a judge.

Rock77

Hi Op,

Im a single dad of 1 and pay court ordered maintenance.
Is he applying to the court to have his payments reduced?

Did your kids qualify to get their braces through the hse?

I was told by a judge that if i ever need to reduce the maintenance payments i would have to prove to the court that my financial situation has changed.

Hannaho

Hi! Thanks to both of you for your replies. Re the HSE braces - you have to be very bad to get them - my son got the first year through them - but now he has moved up a band and no longer qualifies with them, but if he doesn't have further treatment privately, they have told me in HSE that he will start having problems with his tempromandibular joint in late teens.

Re Health Insurance - it was part of the agreement that my ex paid for the Health Insurance - I don't know if he claims these expenses back from the insurance - I don't think he can get cost of braces reimbursed. I know that last year, my brother, who is an accountant, wrote to my ex and asked if he wanted to claim all these medical expenses that our children incurred against his tax - he wrote to him twice and got no reply - so my brother told me to just claim them against my own tax.

I find the teenage years very expensive and that is why it would be a big issue for me if he didn't pay the extra costs of education and medical stuff. So am I just better going back to Court to sort it out? We are going back also for removal of guardianship - the children were really afraid of their dad - G.P. and social work were involved about 4 years ago - when the children initially refused to go - he has never pursued access since and no contact, birthday cards, Christmas etc - maybe I will put applications in for both on the same day.

Rock77

So it's court ordered that he pays for health insurance and he doesn't??

This is very simple OP, he is not complying with a court order. His opinion or yours doesn't matter here, the court has already made a decision and like mentioned before if his financial position has changed he has to apply to the court to have the payments reduced.

You should pay for health insurance and keep reciepts for all costs.

roy rodgers

Op i believe his situation has changed. He has two more kids since your relationship with him aged 1 and 3 that he has to provide for.
He provides you with 10800 a year where he would have to earn nearly twice that to provide it.
That means your income is 67k per year and are you receiving back to school allowances child benefit?
A judge can only give a maximum order of 150 euro per child per week but this is rarely seen.

He shouldn't have be bear the cost of all education and medical by himself that has to be your responsibility too. He's better off just agreeing a monthly payment to you and leave at that because braces are not seen at a medical condition. Maths grinds or piano lessons would be seen as education costs either..
I know it's not what you want to hear but I have seen both sides of the coin and to me your ex is still been very fair in that payment.

As for removing the guardianship I don't see the point. He is still the kids father and always will be. The kids are old enough to make their own decisions about him and also in another few years they will be adults and probably moved out and on with then self's.

January

Op 1400 per month in food expenses for yoursepf and two children is madness.

ted1

January wrote: »

Op 1400 per month in food expenses for yoursepf and two children is madness.

I was going to say the same. I think a lot of your expenses are really OTT, your gp fees etc are high, have you medical insurance you should look at getting day to day cover

As regards salary , his of 100k and yours of 56. Your pretty much on parity.
That 900 is 1800 before tax, times 12 is 21,600 add that to you 56 and your effectively on 77,600 and he's effectively on 78,400

coco0981

January wrote: »

Op 1400 per month in food expenses for yoursepf and two children is madness.

This could easily be halved, 700 euro a month will easily feed a family of 3.

Lau2976

IMO OP the issue doesn't lie with the money your receiving but rather how your spending it. As mentioned above that much on a good bill is insane. That comes out at over a hundred euro a week per person.

Financially his situation has changed and iirc a judge will consider any new children in that too. Speak to your solicited buy tbh OP if you don't change your spending habits it won't matter how much he gives you.

Hannaho

Hi! All, thanks for replies - it's great to get others views. I think though they're may be some misunderstanding - my ex does not pay for all the medical and educational bills - basically he share's half of them - or the Court Order says he should - so if books are e800 for school - then he pays half - if GP, A&E and Consultant bills for the year are e1200 - he is supposed to pay half. He offered initially to pay the medical insurance as he knew he could claim back medical expenses against this - whether he is doing this or not, I have no idea, but I give him the receipts to pay his share.

Re. GP costs - if you have two children it adds up - last year we had 8 visits to the G.P for infections, tonsillitis, chest infections for the children - at 60 - that's e480. My son broke his arm and that was e100 for A&E, then he tore ligaments and that was another e100 to A&E - to check if there was anything broken, then my daughter had to attend a gynaecologist that was e300 - two visits and a blood test. Then e2000 for braces, now my daughter has been referred to a specialist for bad Acne - e160 for first visit - if I have to pay all of these expenses out of e10800 a year - there's not much left.

Re. the 1400 for food - that covers, weekly shop - e15 euro each for school week for extra food = 30 per week, e120 per month - they play sports late into the evening, and my daughter walks a long way to her music classes - so it's money to grab something if they are hungry - no direct bus - the 1400 also includes bus fares - roughly e45 per month and a pizza on Saturday night - e20 per week = e80 per month. It also covers money for school stuff - e10 each - there seems to be some request, including charity requests from the school each week.

Hollister11

1400 for food!! Are you buying the best of the best or something.

Our food bill for a family of 5 (Two parents, and 3 teenagers) is 800 a month.

Stheno

Is he paying 900 per month plus half of all education and health bills? If so that's extraordinarily high

And your food Bill is insane

Moonbeam

I understand your frustration,he has 2 kids that he does not bother with that you need to look after 24/7.
Did you check if you are eligible for single parent tax credit?
It sounds like health insurance could be worth the investment for you.
Do the kids want contact with their dad?
I have 4 kids but they are all very small still,Our grocery bill is about 800pm including a friday night takeaway and the extras during the week. We are lucky that we have on average 2 doctors visits a year between the 4 of them.
Do you have a mortgage/rent?
You can claim all health expenses that you pay for back on your med1.
I am not sure about braces but you might be able to claim for these on the med2.

Call me Al

I'm just wondering, for those of you who pay maintenance, do you make contributions towards unexpected expenses such as being told that your child needs braces (@4k a pop) or paediatric consultant appointments @ upwards of €200 in my experience?
These are substantial amounts. Are they supposed to have been budgeted for out of the weekly/monthly maintenance that you provide?

Op your food bills are crazy.. you seriously need to look at how you're spending this money! I feed more than you (4 with 3 males) on half of that and I don't scrimp by any stretch of the imagination.
To be honest if you're concerned about being able to afford piano lessons and grinds well there is your answer.

topmanamillion

coco1981 wrote: »

This could easily be halved, 700 euro a month will easily feed a family of 3.

I'd go as far as to half that again. E100/week in any large supermarket will fill a trolley with good nutritious food for 3 people no problem at all.

Rock77

Call me Al wrote:

I'm just wondering, for those of you who pay maintenance, do you make contributions towards unexpected expenses such as being told that your child needs braces (@4k a pop) or paediatric consultant appointments @ upwards of €200 in my experience? These are substantial amounts. Are they supposed to have been budgeted for out of the weekly/monthly maintenance that you provide?

I only pay weekly maintenance of €90 per week. Court order. Myself and my ex sat down and worked out that it comes to 9200 ish per year to maintain our son.

If i pay €90 and she pays €90 per week plus children's allowance of €140 per month, thats €11040. Over 2,000 extra per year.

Health insurance, swimming and drama class are included, as well as school.