Serious troubles with room rental

Bemese

secondrowgal wrote: »

Hi Bemese

This sounds awful for you and I hope that you can get it sorted out very soon.

Have you tried contacting your fellow countrymen at the embassy?

http://www.mfa.gov.hu/kulkepviselet/IE/en/mainpage.htm

Although it is very obvious that your English is excellent, at least you will be able to tell your story in your own language. Also, your colleagues there should be able to help you with anything to do with the Guards, etc.

The very best of luck with it all!!

Thank you so much. I am looking at a room at a house where one of my colleagues is renting tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to move in after May 1.

bleary

Bemese wrote: »

The woman doesn't let anyone use the washing machine because she is afraid someone will break it.

Actually this seems to be an Irish thing. I had a discussion about this with friends once, none of their mothers let them use the washing machine, all adults with homes of their own. I find it extremely strange but not uncommon.

bleary

bleary wrote: »

Actually this seems to be an Irish thing. I had a discussion about this with friends once, none of their mothers let them use the washing machine, all adults with homes of their own. I find it extremely strange but not uncommon.

I suspect a bit of a culture clash, OP probably isn't used to dealing with your typical busybody religious Irish mammy. (Not suggest that OP should be treated like her child, that is not appropriate)

The_Conductor

bleary wrote: »

Actually this seems to be an Irish thing. I had a discussion about this with friends once, none of their mothers let them use the washing machine, all adults with homes of their own. I find it extremely strange but not uncommon.

My Mum was Irish- she'd throw a party if you did your own laundry........ I've never come across this before- just seems completely bizarre to me..........

Mrs OBumble

Speedwell wrote: »

I might conceive myself to feel responsible for my elderly next-door neighbor, but that doesn't mean I can charge her money she didn't agree to pay me, and it doesn't mean I can accompany her into the examination room, talk to the doctor as though she isn't there, and insist on monitoring her comings and goings. That's stalker behavior.

No.

Charging someone money she doesn't agree with is theft.

The next two are (potentially) abusive - but happen more often than you might think.

The last is what many expect people to do with elderly neighbours: if yours died and wasn't discovered for weeks, then people in general would blame you for this and say you should have been monitoring their comings and goings, and raising the alarm if they stopped.

Speedwell

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No.

Charging someone money she doesn't agree with is theft.

The next two are (potentially) abusive - but happen more often than you might think.

The last is what many expect people to do with elderly neighbours: if yours died and wasn't discovered for weeks, then people in general would blame you for this and say you should have been monitoring their comings and goings, and raising the alarm if they stopped.

She's not their child, she's not their elderly mother, in the US the doctor could be jailed for giving her medical info out to a third party, and the common thread is... and this is rather important... she doesn't want them to do any of it.

April 73

The OP said earlier that she is 36. Not a typically-aged college student.
That's why the over-protective attitude is very strange.

Dial Hard

TheChizler wrote:

This line stood out to me OP. Could they feel in some way responsible for you because of a conversation they had with your parents or college? It might explain a lot. Unacceptable behaviour but it might explain part of their thought process.

I took that line to mean that they never had any conversation with the OP's parents or college to begin with, that they just took it upon themselves to get involved.

rawn

OP, can your boyfriend not help with any of this? (Storage of property, moving in with him, safe-guarding your documents, physically being there if you feel unsafe)??

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

The_Conductor wrote: »

My Mum was Irish- she'd throw a party if you did your own laundry........ I've never come across this before- just seems completely bizarre to me..........

I wasn't allowed use the tumble dryer until I was 25, them things are shockin' hard on electricty

cerastes

bleary wrote: »

Actually this seems to be an Irish thing. I had a discussion about this with friends once, none of their mothers let them use the washing machine, all adults with homes of their own. I find it extremely strange but not uncommon.

I can understand, probably becuase washing machines were and within reason still are high value items, necessary and havent really come down in price compared to other electrical goods. Its easy to damage or ruin one and drastically affect how long it could be expected to last,

That out of the way, this is a strange situation, didnt realise JW were potentially so nutty, because the behaviour described sounds disturbing, and potentially abusive. Ive spoken to some at the door, hard to make them out, becuase you dont know what they might be like really.
I just dont understand why you or the Dr. even let them into the consultation room, or why they weren't asked to leave or why you didnt bring this up with the Dr. or why your boyfriend isnt wading in here on your behalf.
If you're concerned about a confrontation, then I'd leave, otherwise Id use up the paid amount and interact minimally, and brush off, laugh off or just outright tell them to pi$$ off with their wierdness.
I would get any private or personal documentation, money or anything else that should be kept private and secure such as PPSN (tax no.) out of there. As others have said, everything else is just stuff, and while its easy for people to say to just leave, I wouldnt leave myself in harms way, even though Id be the kind of person to stand up to these sorts, who knows what they are capable of.
Id be looking for some advice on this, maybe from your Dr? about who to speak to. Personally I wouldnt bother with their church leaders, if I felt the need to tell anyone, maybe you could approach the Gardai to speak to them and give them some warnign so they dont consider attempting anything.
What part of the country is this in? if this is a major city, there must be support services near and something available in accomodation.

Thoie

cerastes wrote: »

That out of the way, this is a strange situation, didnt realise JW were potentially so nutty, because the behaviour described sounds disturbing, and potentially abusive. Ive spoken to some at the door, hard to make them out, becuase you dont know what they might be like really.

I'd imagine they're like "people". In any group (religious or secular), you're going to get a bunch of nutters. JW's are hardcore Christians with some variations, the same as most Christian sects (including Catholicism and Protestantism) vary from each other in places. Individually they're no weirder than any other religious devotees, or atheists, or anyone else.

None of the odd things the landlady has done so far seem to have had anything to do with religion - they're just odd in and of themselves. And it's still possible that the landlady has the tenant's best interests at heart.

OP - have you put your important documents in a safe place yet?

Bemese

cerastes wrote: »

I can understand, probably becuase washing machines were and within reason still are high value items, necessary and havent really come down in price compared to other electrical goods. Its easy to damage or ruin one and drastically affect how long it could be expected to last,

That out of the way, this is a strange situation, didnt realise JW were potentially so nutty, because the behaviour described sounds disturbing, and potentially abusive. Ive spoken to some at the door, hard to make them out, becuase you dont know what they might be like really.
I just dont understand why you or the Dr. even let them into the consultation room, or why they weren't asked to leave or why you didnt bring this up with the Dr. or why your boyfriend isnt wading in here on your behalf.
If you're concerned about a confrontation, then I'd leave, otherwise Id use up the paid amount and interact minimally, and brush off, laugh off or just outright tell them to pi$$ off with their wierdness.
I would get any private or personal documentation, money or anything else that should be kept private and secure such as PPSN (tax no.) out of there. As others have said, everything else is just stuff, and while its easy for people to say to just leave, I wouldnt leave myself in harms way, even though Id be the kind of person to stand up to these sorts, who knows what they are capable of.
Id be looking for some advice on this, maybe from your Dr? about who to speak to. Personally I wouldnt bother with their church leaders, if I felt the need to tell anyone, maybe you could approach the Gardai to speak to them and give them some warnign so they dont consider attempting anything.
What part of the country is this in? if this is a major city, there must be support services near and something available in accomodation.

The doctor doesn't let them in any more. I was at the hospital yesterday (psychiatry) because of their abuse and they tried to call my doctor asking for me, she told them to f... off. My boyfriend still lives with his parents and it's too early in the relationship to move in, but he asked a solicitor to help and they are drafting a letter now to get my money back. Thank God I have only till May 1 to stay here and I found another room thanks to a colleague, so I am moving out then. Until that I was suggested not to sleep here after released from the hospital, but at the moment I have nowhere to go. Social services also took up contact with me and will help.

Bemese

Thoie wrote: »

I'd imagine they're like "people". In any group (religious or secular), you're going to get a bunch of nutters. JW's are hardcore Christians with some variations, the same as most Christian sects (including Catholicism and Protestantism) vary from each other in places. Individually they're no weirder than any other religious devotees, or atheists, or anyone else.

None of the odd things the landlady has done so far seem to have had anything to do with religion - they're just odd in and of themselves. And it's still possible that the landlady has the tenant's best interests at heart.

OP - have you put your important documents in a safe place yet?

Yes, I have my documents at a safe place and I don't judge anyone's religion in general, but these people are scary.

Thoie

Bemese wrote: »

Yes, I have my documents at a safe place and I don't judge anyone's religion in general, but these people are scary.

Good to hear. It's 9 more days - you'll be fine. There are always people on Boards 24/7 if you need to get things off your chest. We're all thinking of you.

Bemese

Thoie wrote: »

Good to hear. It's 9 more days - you'll be fine. There are always people on Boards 24/7 if you need to get things off your chest. We're all thinking of you.

Thank you so much. I asked my doctor for help yesterday and I spent yesterday night and most of the day at CUH. I have some antidepressants prescribed as I need professional help to recover.

Speedwell

Bemese, I'm thinking about you too and wishing you well. There is light at the end of this tunnel, I promise

Bemese

Speedwell wrote: »

Bemese, I'm thinking about you too and wishing you well. There is light at the end of this tunnel, I promise

Thank you very much to you and everybody else who cared about me. XXX

Ursus Horribilis

Bemese wrote: »

My boyfriend still lives with his parents and it's too early in the relationship to move in

Fair enough but I wonder why he doesn't seem to have stepped in to help much before this. If he was someone they saw more of, would they have been so brave?

MeTV

Bemese wrote: »

Thank you so much. I asked my doctor for help yesterday and I spent yesterday night and most of the day at CUH. I have some antidepressants prescribed as I need professional help to recover.

Are you paying for the psychiatric consultation/treatment and meds out of your own pocket? If so, you may be able to do them for the emotional trauma this situation has caused you and claim your expenses plus damages. Even if you're not paying out of pocket, you should still consider your legal options for the trauma. Maybe have a quick chat with your boyfriend's solicitor about it.

Also, I wouldn't be worrying about the fact that your boyfriend lives with his folks or that the relationship is still too new; your safety and peace of mind are paramount right now, if crashing in his place for the next few nights is a viable option, do it.

On a more general note, something needs to be done to prevent anyone else from falling prey to this couple, their next victim might not have the strength of character to resist then and get away. For that reason, even if you feel it unnecessary for yourself, I'd encourage you to pop into your local Garda station with any documented evidence of their criminal and abusive actions that you have.