How long to get pet ashes back?

Shint0

My wonderful little dog passed away just over three weeks ago after reaching a very good age. I opted for private cremation arranged through the vet. I was told by the vet they use a service in Meath and it can take two to three weeks to have the ashes returned. I did ask the vet nurse if the waiting time depends on when the service makes their next collection from them and my dogs ashes would be returned at that time. She said sometimes that can happen but not always. Sometimes they are just returned before another collection. As it's now heading into the fourth week I rang the vet but they haven't received the ashes back and now tell me it can take between two and four weeks. For those who had private cremation how long did it take?

Also for those who opted for private cremation through any service do you feel confident and trust that you genuinely received your actual pet's ashes back? I know all the cremation services say they follow proper procedures and your pet's documentation remains with them all the time including throughout the process. If you are not present how do you know for sure that your dog wasn't just group cremated and you are given back a mixture of combined ashes along with the certificate. I can only hope that cremation services act in good faith but I must admit it has been niggling at me a little. Any thoughts on this?

Irish Stones

Shint0 wrote: »

Also for those who opted for private cremation through any service do you feel confident and trust that you genuinely received your actual pet's ashes back?

No, I don't!
I am rather positive that when the pet is sent to a crematorium and then the ashes sent back to the owner, then the ashes might not be of your pet.
I used such a service many years ago for a cat. The vet held the cat's corpse and had it collected by this service which sent the ashes back to him a week later. They asked me whether I was interested in attending, but it was way too far, so I trusted them.
I do think that they aren't my cat's ashes, I do think that they are a mix of different cremated pets.
At that time there wasn't a close to home pet crematorium, so I had to ask the vet to take care of it.
Some time later a new service started not far from where I live. It's possible to take the pet straight to them and attend all the process (for those who wish so), the ashes are returned to the owner's hand in less than 60 minutes.
I live in Italy, but I presume that things happen everywhere.

Shint0

Irish Stones wrote: »

I do think that they aren't my cat's ashes, I do think that they are a mix of different cremated pets.

Do you mind me asking were there any signs about the ashes that lead you to believe they weren't your cat? Did you look at the actual ashes and possibly see something as in some type of fragments that might indicate they weren't your cat? Very sensitive topic I know. Sorry.

I did think to possibly contact the cremation company and ask when it was being carried out so I could possibly go there but I was in shock at the time as my dog went very quickly in the end even though it was expected because of old age. I think when I get them back I will always be wondering and possibly have regrets if I made the right decision or not.

DBB

Hmmmm. If I may, I'll try to offset any supposition around this topic.
I know the people who run the pet crematorium in Meath. The whole process, I can say with certainty, is squeaky clean in terms of you getting your pet's ashes back. It is heavily regulated and open to investigation at any time. For them to risk being caught out would mean the end of their business. Not only that, but these people are pet owners themselves, and are extremely respectful of the pet and of the owner's distress. They have no issue whatsoever with the owner bringing their pet's remains to them, and getting them back as soon as all is done an hour or so later.

OP, to answer your initial enquiry, I have waited for anything from one week to just over three weeks to get ashes back. They were cremated in Belfast as I didn't have access to the Meath facility at those times. I would be inclined to ask your vet to follow up on this and ask them to call the company for an update.

Irish Stones

Shint0 wrote: »

Do you mind me asking were there any signs about the ashes that lead you to believe they weren't your cat? Did you look at the actual ashes and possibly see something as in some type of fragments that might indicate they weren't your cat? Very sensitive topic I know. Sorry.

Doesn't matter, I have no problem speaking about this.
Of course they were ashes and there was no way to think differently, but right after giving them the cat I had info on how that company operated at that time.
A person told me that he went to the facility to attend the cremation of his cat, just how they adviced him, but as a matter of fact he wasn't allowed to "the last mile", where the crematorium itself was, so, though he drove a long way to the facility to be with his friend till the last moment, he had to surrender to the last door.
I did have a look at the ashes of that cat of mine and the ashes of my other cats cremated in the new facility where I was able to be next to the furnace, and the ashes have a different look. The last ones are grey and thick grains, with rare bone tiny fragments. The ashes fit into a tiny bag.
The first and older ones are pale and with the aspect of flour and are in a larger amount, as the pet cremated was twice or three times as big.
So this strengthens my opinion that some years ago I was given ashes of who knows what.

I did think to possibly contact the cremation company and ask when it was being carried out so I could possibly go there but I was in shock at the time as my dog went very quickly in the end even though it was expected because of old age. I think when I get them back I will always be wondering and possibly have regrets if I made the right decision or not.

DBB's advice is great, ring your vet and ask them to investigate and keep an eye on this.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss and how you have to deal with it afterwards

Shint0

Thanks DBB. That's reassuring to know that your experience of the company is positive and has a good reputation. Out of interest who oversees the whole sector? Is it the Dept. of Agriculture? Is there one designated official who carries out inspections or is it per region and is there any information on how often spot checks are carried out? I appreciate you may not know the answers to all these questions but you seem to have some knowledge and experience around the issue. I just wanted to do the right thing by my little dog as the last act I could carry out for her as she was with me for a long time through thick and thin.

Irish Stones, many thanks for your kind words and for sharing your experience. Is it possible your first cat you mention was cremated wrapped in a blanket or some such. My little dog had slipped into a semi coma. I brought her to tge vet to be put to sleep wrapped in a small towel and a larger blanket. The vet asked me if it was her favourite blanket and if I wanted her cremated in it. I had think on the spot and decided to hold onto the blanket as her scent was still on it and I also wanted my other dog to be able to sense her from the blanket aswell. Equally, I felt if I had her cremated in the large fluffy blanket it would be mixed with her ashes and she had wasted to nothing very quickly so I would be getting back a box full of blanket ashes which might obscure her own ashes if that makes sense. I left her in the towel so perhaps the companies do cremate the animals in whatever they are wrapped in when they are handed over from the vet.

Irish Stones

Shint0 wrote: »

Irish Stones, many thanks for your kind words and for sharing your experience. Is it possible your first cat you mention was cremated wrapped in a blanket or some such.

As far as I know pets cannot wear anything before the cremation process, so any blanket, collar or tag must be removed.
The man who runs the new facility (it is privately owned) told me that anything else but the pet can soil the filters of the furnace. He also told me that they have regular inspectins of the filters from the Health Bureau and if something different than organic remains (e.g. chemicals or minerals) are found in the filters, their licence is suspended. I guess that this rule applies to all crematoria.
So, even if my first cat had been wrapped in a blanket (which was not the case) this would have been removed and discarded before the cremation.

Your words in your post are really touching. I have rarely seen so much love and a stronger bond to a pet, I would like to be there a give you a big hug!
I'm a 50 years old man and I'm crying like a baby

Shint0

Got the ashes back this evening. It certainly feels a bit strange. I chose a box which is not sealed so the ashes are wrapped in a parcel of handmade paper and stapled. Not really sure now if I want to open it or what to do with it. I need time to digest it.
Thanks to everybody here for information on the process and that everything is carried out to the proper standards.

Irish Stones

Shint0 wrote: »

Got the ashes back this evening. It certainly feels a bit strange. I chose a box which is not sealed so the ashes are wrapped in a parcel of handmade paper and stapled. Not really sure now if I want to open it or what to do with it. I need time to digest it.
Thanks to everybody here for information on the process and that everything is carried out to the proper standards.

At the new facility, where I am allowed to attend, they put the ashes into a ziplock bag (like these ones http://www.multi-i.com/images/large/green-line-zip-lock-bag_LRG.jpg ), and the bag into a small wooden box (like this one http://www.tuttoperdecoupage.com/images/stamperia/B_KL114.jpg ).
In the last cases I was able to see the ashes right away.
In the first case, when the pet was sent to a far away facility, I was given an aluminum urn with a lid and with a cloth bag inside. I opened the bag last summer, 6 years later... I always feared to check the content of that bag for the reasons I explained before.
Yes, you could need time, there's no hurry.

Shint0

Irish Stones wrote: »

At the new facility, where I am allowed to attend, they put the ashes into a ziplock bag (like these ones http://www.multi-i.com/images/large/green-line-zip-lock-bag_LRG.jpg ), and the bag into a small wooden box (like this one http://www.tuttoperdecoupage.com/images/stamperia/B_KL114.jpg ).
In the last cases I was able to see the ashes right away.
In the first case, when the pet was sent to a far away facility, I was given an aluminum urn with a lid and with a cloth bag inside. I opened the bag last summer, 6 years later... I always feared to check the content of that bag for the reasons I explained before.
Yes, you could need time, there's no hurry.

Thanks Irish Stones.
I thought it might come in a little bag or pouch inside the box which would make some of it easier to scatter in a few of the favourite places if I choose to do that. The way it has been wrapped, albeit nicely, might make it hard to wrap it back again properly. There was an option of a scatter tube but I liked the idea of the box you can open up and there is a type of picture frame on top for a photo with the name engraved in brass.

Dubl07

Shint0 wrote: »

Got the ashes back this evening. It certainly feels a bit strange. I chose a box which is not sealed so the ashes are wrapped in a parcel of handmade paper and stapled. Not really sure now if I want to open it or what to do with it. I need time to digest it.
Thanks to everybody here for information on the process and that everything is carried out to the proper standards.

My sympathies on your loss and I'm so glad you've received the ashes back. Planting a tree or bush that will appreciate the sustaining life force in those ashes might be an option either in your own garden or a favourite place. I'd rather invigorate a climbing rose than be smothered under granite or stored in a jar.

Shint0

Dubl07 wrote: »

My sympathies on your loss and I'm so glad you've received the ashes back. Planting a tree or bush that will appreciate the sustaining life force in those ashes might be an option either in your own garden or a favourite place. I'd rather invigorate a climbing rose than be smothered under granite or stored in a jar.

Thanks ever so much for your lovely words and that's a great idea about using them to plant something beautiful with. My original thinking for the cremation being that I might not always live where I am currently living. If I ever sold my house and moved away I could bring the ashes with me and possibily have them buried with me when my own time comes.

Irish Stones

Shint0 wrote: »

My original thinking for the cremation being that I might not always live where I am currently living. If I ever sold my house and moved away I could bring the ashes with me and possibily have them buried with me when my own time comes.

I have three more cats buried in a corner of my garden. Should I move home I have thought to cut that portion of garden soil away and take it with me wherever I go.
I chose to cremate my other pets because of this and because the garden is too small to accomodate all pets that will cross my life.