4.5 or 5.5 to start school

Ruddler

Hi, I know this has been asked before but my son is right at the in between age and I don't know what to do. He turned 4 in early March so will be exactly 4 and a half in September. His preschool teacher has said he's interested and attentive so I'd have no concerns over the work aspect of school. He's quite shy though and I'd be afraid he'd be eaten up in the playground. On the other hand, if we wait until next year he'll be 5.5 and heading for 6 when he starts. Any advice?

Lisha

My daughter is an April bday. She started school at 5.5yrs and I don't regret it.
Yes at 4.5yrs she was able for letters, numbers, counting etc and could sit when needed. She was tall and very social but the extra year was amazing for her. She was much more socially ready and school has been a breeze from the start. Much more able to stand on her own two feet. We are in a small (80ish children) country school with mixed classes so I feel they need to be ready.

The majority of children start at past 5 in our school . It depends on your own school set up.

I strongly advocate for children starting at 5+.

Best of luck with it.

Squall Leonhart

I started school at 4yrs and 4mths. I never had any problems at all.

Neyite

I polled a few of my friends because I had the same question.

Several are primary school teachers, plus mums of slightly older children too. All of them recommended that I enrol him in school when he will be 5 years old. They said that in their experience, boys being slightly older when starting is more beneficial overall, plus they'd be older doing the LC too.

Like you, I think my son would cope fine in school, he's bright and I think would be well able for any school work. He's happy in crèche and well socialised with other children, so I dont think that he would have any issues making friends. But based on the advice I got from those with a bit more knowledge, I've decided to start him at 5.

LegacyUser

I agree with Neyite. I have a number of family members who are teachers and they would recommend 5 or older is better to start school at. Particularly for boys. It's not so much that they are able for counting and letters and learning, it's more the social side of things, just general maturity. Also the fact that they will always be among the youngest in the class, and particularly when they are in the smaller classes, they are likely to always have to work a bit harder to get things that the older kids get easier - little things like running faster, or catching and throwing balls, being able to deal with stuff in the yard or even just opening lunch boxes and that kind of thing. People don't think much about it, but it can be demoralising for a child to feel they have to work that bit harder than those around them all the time.

It doesn't matter that he's 6 during the year, he certainly won't be the only one. My little ones have March and June birthdays and neither will start til after they turn 5, regardless of how ready they might be before that. It will stand to them in the long run.

Ruddler

Lisha wrote: »

My daughter is an April bday. She started school at 5.5yrs and I don't regret it.
Yes at 4.5yrs she was able for letters, numbers, counting etc and could sit when needed. She was tall and very social but the extra year was amazing for her. She was much more socially ready and school has been a breeze from the start. Much more able to stand on her own two feet. We are in a small (80ish children) country school with mixed classes so I feel they need to be ready.

The majority of children start at past 5 in our school . It depends on your own school set up.

I strongly advocate for children starting at 5+.

Best of luck with it.

Thanks a mil. Did she do two years of preschool? I'm worried that in the second year or preschool they'll cover the same work and he might get bored. Did you find this?

Squall Leonhart wrote: »

I started school at 4yrs and 4mths. I never had any problems at all.

I started myself at 4yrs and 2 months. I was quite shy myself and hated school. Didn't settle properly for years.

Neyite wrote: »

I polled a few of my friends because I had the same question.

Several are primary school teachers, plus mums of slightly older children too. All of them recommended that I enrol him in school when he will be 5 years old. They said that in their experience, boys being slightly older when starting is more beneficial overall, plus they'd be older doing the LC too.

Like you, I think my son would cope fine in school, he's bright and I think would be well able for any school work. He's happy in crèche and well socialised with other children, so I dont think that he would have any issues making friends. But based on the advice I got from those with a bit more knowledge, I've decided to start him at 5.

Thanks a lot. I'm leaning towards waiting until next year myself. In fact I'm fairly sure that's what's for the best. One or two people said I could be holding him back by having him with younger kids so that's throwing me a bit.

Ruddler

Lisha wrote: »

My daughter is an April bday. She started school at 5.5yrs and I don't regret it.
Yes at 4.5yrs she was able for letters, numbers, counting etc and could sit when needed. She was tall and very social but the extra year was amazing for her. She was much more socially ready and school has been a breeze from the start. Much more able to stand on her own two feet. We are in a small (80ish children) country school with mixed classes so I feel they need to be ready.

The majority of children start at past 5 in our school . It depends on your own school set up.

I strongly advocate for children starting at 5+.

Best of luck with it.

Thanks a mil. Did she do two years of preschool? I'm worried that in the second year of preschool they'll cover the same work and he might get bored. Did you find this?

Squall Leonhart wrote: »

I started school at 4yrs and 4mths. I never had any problems at all.

I started myself at 4yrs and 2 months. I was quite shy myself and hated school. Didn't settle properly for years.

Neyite wrote: »

I polled a few of my friends because I had the same question.

Several are primary school teachers, plus mums of slightly older children too. All of them recommended that I enrol him in school when he will be 5 years old. They said that in their experience, boys being slightly older when starting is more beneficial overall, plus they'd be older doing the LC too.

Like you, I think my son would cope fine in school, he's bright and I think would be well able for any school work. He's happy in crèche and well socialised with other children, so I dont think that he would have any issues making friends. But based on the advice I got from those with a bit more knowledge, I've decided to start him at 5.

Thanks a lot. I'm leaning towards waiting until next year myself. In fact I'm fairly sure that's what's for the best. One or two people have said I could be holding him back by having him with younger kids so that's throwing me a bit.

Lisha

Ruddler wrote: »

Thanks a mil. Did she do two years of preschool? I'm worried that in the second year or preschool they'll cover the same work and he might get bored. Did you find this?

Thanks a lot. I'm leaning towards waiting until next year myself. In fact I'm fairly sure that's what's for the best. One or two people said I could be holding him back by having him with younger kids so that's throwing me a bit.

Her first year of Playschool she did only 2dats a week. So she only did 5days fur one year.

In our Playschool they tended to keep younger and older in 2 groups (in same room but each teacher had 9-10 each but they still interacted as a group too)

Can you ask your school what the general starting age is.

In my opinion the younger kids in my child's class stand out a mile. The slight difference in maturity is very obvious at times.

Penny Dreadful

I think it really depends on the child in question and only you will really know them well enough.
My sisters two older children were born on the same day but two years apart, its funny.
The older one,a girl, started school when she was 4.5 and was flying it in every way. The younger one, a boy, while academically capable of starting was very very shy and it would have been just too awkward and difficult for him. She let him stay at pre school for a second year and increased the days so he went to that 5 days per week for the second year (he had only attended for 3 the first year). He was then 5.5 years old when starting primary school and for her son it was the right decision.

For me, my daughter's birthday is in September and so I'll start her at school the year she will turn 5. My next baby (yet to be born) will be a May or June baby and I think I'll keep them until they're 5 too.
My birthday is in July and I started school when I was 4. Academically it was fine and socially too until everyone started to hit puberty. Then it was awkward and difficult and I'd say being the extra year older would have been better.

Ruddler

He was doing 3 days in creche previously and increased to 5 days this year for what we thought was his pre school year. I'll talk to his preschool teacher and ask about the workload and if he'd be just doing the same again.

In some ways he's like an old man with the stuff he comes out with. He picks up everything really easily and can chat with us like an adult. Outside of the house though he's so quiet and isn't chatty with his teachers. The extra year might bring him out of himself a bit more.

My second child is a summer baby and will start aged 5, no question.

Penny Dreadful

Ruddler wrote: »

He was doing 3 days in creche previously and increased to 5 days this year for what we thought was his pre school year. I'll talk to his preschool teacher and ask about the workload and if he'd be just doing the same again.

In some ways he's like an old man with the stuff he comes out with. He picks up everything really easily and can chat with us like an adult. Outside of the house though he's so quiet and isn't chatty with his teachers. The extra year might bring him out of himself a bit more.

My second child is a summer baby and will start aged 5, no question.

It is adorable to hear some of the stuff they come out with all right. Overall I think that being an extra year older leaving the educational system or even entering third level (if thats whats right for them) is not a bad thing.

lazygal

My girl will be four in May and I can't imagine her starting school in September. She's a bright kid (of course!) but socially I think she'd be way too young. We're doing a second preschool year. You'll get so many people saying their school starting age and how they were fine. For me, its also about the age they'll be going to secondary school, college, getting a PT job etc. I'd rather her be on the older side for all those things.

Frogscotch

My daughter is in JI the youngest in her class and she's flying it. I would never have let my son go at four. I think you know your own child best and how they would cope.

Digs

Ruddler wrote: »

He was doing 3 days in creche previously and increased to 5 days this year for what we thought was his pre school year. I'll talk to his preschool teacher and ask about the workload and if he'd be just doing the same again.

In some ways he's like an old man with the stuff he comes out with. He picks up everything really easily and can chat with us like an adult. Outside of the house though he's so quiet and isn't chatty with his teachers. The extra year might bring him out of himself a bit more.

My second child is a summer baby and will start aged 5, no question.

Talk to his preschool teacher and see what they think. Friends of mine has been advised on the back of the ecce year whether or not their march/April babies are ready for school at 4 or 5. Some who thought they'd be starting at 4 held them back the extra year on the teachers advice.

My daughter is an April baby (she's turning 3 this month) she's starting the ecce year this sept and I'll be interested to see what they think, however my Mam who's a primary school principal at this stage feels my daughter will be more than ready at 4 academically and socially so I'd say we will start her sept 12 months. She did say in her experience boys do benefit from being that bit older.

Myself and my siblings are all July/may babies and we started at 4, we were all fine bar one of my brothers who stayed back in 1st class and then flew it from there so it is really child specific and I don't believe there is one right way for every child.

BailMeOut

the older they start the older they will finish. I believe this is important as 13 - 14 years later they be starting 3rd level at a more mature age and be able to deal with college and/or being away from home a lot better.

farmchoice

if in doubt go with older we started our lad at 5.5 and are so glad we did. having said that it was pretty obvious in his case that he needed the extra year.

i remember taking to the lady who ran his pre-school about it and she was telling me about her own children, she said she sent one of her lads at 4 and it was only in first year in university that she realized her mistake.

sometimes needs must and you have to send them and I'm sure it does no harm most of the time but if you have the choice leave it would be my advice.

Ruddler

Thank you all for your input. It's such a hard decision to make.

Alun

Speaking as someone who started school late-ish, but being a bit of a smarty pants actually then skipped a year making me by far the youngest in the class by nearly a year, I'd say definitely err on the side of later rather than earlier. All of this meant me starting university at 17, which in hindsight was a mistake as I wasn't anywhere near mature enough.

Dolbert

I've been thinking about this too, my son is a December baby so will either have to be almost 5 or almost 6 going in. Guess we'll wait and see, it's not for a few years yet.

RentDayBlues

My first is July and will start at 5. My second is February and will start at 4.5, having done 2 years in montessori.

As a second child she's much more sociable and ready for the world than her sister, I think waiting til 5.5 would be a lot for her

The way I look at it, she'll turn 5 half way through the school year, but if she were March or later it would be different.

I would put him down to start at 4.5 to secure the place and you can decide to defer for a year if needed

jennyhayes123

I have an April baby who is now 16. I kept him till 5 and half and it's the best thing I ever did. Last year when he was in second year I was so relieved I hadn't sent him because he just wouldn't have been able for junior cert. I have to my surprise notice him mature this year.
I was listening to problems on today fm last week. That last recommended in general better off to wait. Said any good Montessori teacher/school will know it's the child's second year and will change what they do.
Just remember if your child goes to school younger chances are there will be a lot in the class older so therefore your child will learn about sex and Santa a year younger.
He last also said never mind how clever your child is, the most important thing is how independent is your child are they able to make themself clear, ask for what they need, tell what they want etc.

Ms2011

Both of my kids are April, my son just turned four so it was on our minds.
We talked to his Montessori teachers who said he could benefit from an extra year plus the principal of the national school he will attend said they prefer them a little bit older so that helped make up our minds to keep him until 5.5 before starting national school.
He's already in his second year of Montessori, he did a half weeks his first year which we paid for, he's now in for a full week this year as part of the ECCE Scheme & will do the same next year.
His Montessori school is excellent & I've no worries he'll get bored so I'm happy with him doing a third year.
Like others have said it's not that he's not capable academically but I think he could do with the year to mature some more.

The Mulk

I think it's definitely individual to the child, our son is a March baby and started at 4.5, he was ready and is flying in school, 2nd class.
Another year in Montessori wouldn't have done him any good.
I can't see a differences between the boys in the class, although there's a huge difference in his class and some of the 1st class boys, some maybe a couple of months younger than him.
Another thing that made our minds up was the class size, 18/19 in total for the first 3 years.

DSN

Mine were May & July both were 5 - best decision for us so far. With daughter who was May we had some pressure from pre-school teacher to send her when 4.4 actually but SO glad we didn't - so go with your own instinct. Often pre-school teachers have their own agendas too.

Interrobang

5.5 here for both when starting. A couple of factors influenced our decision to wait:

- Academically, they were more than ready before that, but the extra year gave them more time to develop socially and be able to handle themselves in the playground.

- Once they hit school, they grow up super fast, especially if their friends have older brothers or sisters. Their childhood space just seems to be so much shorter than ours was, so being able to stretch that lovely period for just one more year was worth it.

- The age they will finish school at was just as important a factor, as we didn't want them finishing at 17 when their friends were older, socialising in places where they were underage, etc. The extra year of maturity in the college years is just as important as the extra year of maturity in junior infants... in fact, probably even moreso, considering the potential consequences of the decisions they make at 17/18 as opposed to 4/5! :-D

No regrets whatsoever over waiting the extra year.

Moonbeam

Starting later is more for the social and emotional side rather then the academic side.
If you have any concern then start him at 5 1/2.
I have a daughter in Junior Infants, the eldest is nearly 18 months older then the youngest and it is extremely obvious.
Most of the class were 5 by Jan/Feb.

My lot all did or are doing 2 years in play school,they are in a different class with a different curriculum for both years.

December2012

I had this concern last year and decided to wait. My now 5 year old has benefitted from the extra softness of play school and is more mature than she was last year. She heads to junior infants this autumn and I'm delighted i waited!

naughtysmurf

Our eldest was born early June, started school at 4yrs 3 months, second child born early July started school at 4yrs 2 months, both are flying it, eldest just did a very good pre leaving, second regulary scores above average in the Drumcondra,

Totally depends on the child but both of ours were with childminders and playschools from an early stage and were ready for school,

kinsy

As someone who started school just shy of 4, I would say wait. I was very smart and bored in play school according to my parents and teachers. It's only as the years go on I see the impact of being less emotionally mature than my classmates at that age.
Also, it seems trivial but when you are a teenager it really isn't- being a bit younger than all your school pals really sucks when it comes to going to discos, staying out late, turning 18 etc. My parents ended up relenting and allowing me to do things earlier than most parents because they felt I shouldn't be punished for having older school friends.
It's great in my 30's now when all my friends are SO much older than me but it's a long enough wait for not much of a pay-off (apart from on their birthdays, of course)

pwurple

Depends on the child, the school, your own leanings etc.

For us, 4.5 was fine. She's not the youngest in the class, she is well able academically, and very social. The school is tiny, so there is good one on one attention too if needed.

I prefer to have the option to repeat the leaving cert for more points at age 18 if required at the far end, or take a gap year and do a bit of travel than be hitting leaving cert for the first time age 19 and the pressure being on. Life slips through your fingers very quickly as you get older.

Boys do generally develop slightly slower than girls, but they are all different. My brother started at age 3 (he turned 4 his first week in junior infants) and has done well for himself. College done, own business set up, house, family etc in his twenties. Plenty of people his age are still in college at that age.

I generally lean towards a Get On With It approach, and get the education done, under the belt and out into the real world. More so for girls maybe, as I have biological clock issues in the back of my mind too.

Others like to take their time, and maybe enjoy the process more.

Also, if you think sports might be in their future, there is an advantage to being the oldest in the group, because you are bigger, stronger, faster etc.

mirrorwall14

As someone who very bright academically I ended up being 19 in first year college, I hated it. From a social perspective I found myself far more "sensible" than my peers, from about 14 and I would have preferred to have been a year ahead of where I was