First Dates Ireland read first post

RocketRaccoon · 08-03-2020 4:05pm

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

Still Ill · 08-03-2020 4:22pm

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

I think it includes being attracted to 'trans'/'gender fluid' people also.

SureYWouldntYa · 08-03-2020 4:26pm

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

Pansexual means attracted to the personality, the sex doesn't come into consideration. Bisexual means they find both physically attractive. It's splitting hairs in a way but that's what it is

leggo · 08-03-2020 4:45pm

Yeah, my understanding would be it’s completely unrelated to gender or physical attraction. Whereas bisexuality refers specifically to male and female, ‘bi’ means two and so on. I can’t claim to understand it fully but who is it harming if people wish to define their attraction tendencies that way? People don’t get up in arms when someone says they need to be physically attracted to a person of a specific gender, but flip that and it drives people insane. Maybe it’s just an aversion to having a prefix before the word ‘-sexual’, or maybe people just want to be angry/judgemental about anything in general and this is a new subject that ticks that box.

RocketRaccoon · 08-03-2020 5:17pm

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Pansexual means attracted to the personality, the sex doesn't come into consideration. Bisexual means they find both physically attractive. It's splitting hairs in a way but that's what it is

So they're both the same but it's people trying to be unique by saying they're pansexual?

leggo · 08-03-2020 7:25pm

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

So they're both the same but it's people trying to be unique by saying they're pansexual?

Bi- as a prefix means two, see bi-annual etc. Bisexual covers attraction to cis men and women. That’s two. Most potential partners prefer to know the sexuality of the people they’re dating, you more than likely do yourself (if you’re a straight man dating a woman and you were the first man she’d ever dated, you may consider that relevant and feel misled if they kept this from you).

So if you were to say you were bi but also dated trans people or generally had no particular preference towards any person based on gender (whereas bi people often lean more in one direction), you wouldn’t be disclosing the full picture. Saying that one word, which a lot of LGBTQ+ people would understand, is way simpler than having to explain the entire concept of sexuality like I just had to wouldn’t it?

_Kaiser_ · 08-03-2020 7:28pm

leggo wrote: »

Bi- as a prefix means two, see bi-annual etc. Bisexual covers attraction to cis men and women. That’s two. Most potential partners prefer to know the sexuality of the people they’re dating, you more than likely do yourself (if you’re a straight man dating a woman and you were the first man she’d ever dated, you may consider that relevant and feel misled if they kept this from you).

So if you were to say you were bi but also dated trans people or generally had no particular preference towards any person based on gender (whereas bi people often lean more in one direction), you wouldn’t be disclosing the full picture. Saying that one word, which a lot of LGBTQ+ people would understand, is way simpler than having to explain the entire concept of sexuality like I just had to wouldn’t it?

It all depends on your whole view of a lot of this stuff though as well.

Anyway, it's probably one for another thread/forum than this one to be fair.

09-03-2020 12:49am

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

It all depends on your whole view of a lot of this stuff though as well.

Anyway, it's probably one for another thread/forum than this one to be fair.

What a load of complete and utter bulls*it this thread has descended into so suddenly. Wildly off topic to a subject that most of the senible world has no interest in, and not a mod to be seen. Total garbage

pixelburp · 09-03-2020 3:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What a load of complete and utter bulls*it this thread has descended into so suddenly. Wildly off topic to a subject that most of the senible world has no interest in, and not a mod to be seen. Total garbage

Hi. I'm a mod. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Uh huh.

So. This is a thread about a show that intentionally features the patchwork quilt of modern Ireland's romantic culture. For better or worse, romance & sexuality is a more complex, nuanced place than even 10 years ago, and often First Dates tries to reflect that. While I've not watched the show in a while, it's a legitimate perspective to take - and so legitimate fodder to talk of the content, and the context of said content.

Pansexuality feels ... wishy-washy to me, but live & let live, love is love. The people on the show often seem positive, happy people taking a chance. Often padded out with casting agency detritus for sure, but in the main it's a fascinating look at modern Ireland.

Officially? All I would say is that if people want to discuss the merits or complexities of modern sexuality, it's done civilly and respectful of each others' views. Be it supportive of said complexity, or sceptical. Not going to break out the cards now, but would ask people remember to debate in good faith.

10-03-2020 12:32am

pixelburp wrote: »

Hi. I'm a mod. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Uh huh.

So. This is a thread about a show that intentionally features the patchwork quilt of modern Ireland's romantic culture. For better or worse, romance & sexuality is a more complex, nuanced place than even 10 years ago, and often First Dates tries to reflect that. While I've not watched the show in a while, it's a legitimate perspective to take - and so legitimate fodder to talk of the content, and the context of said content.

Pansexuality feels ... wishy-washy to me, but live & let live, love is love. The people on the show often seem positive, happy people taking a chance. Often padded out with casting agency detritus for sure, but in the main it's a fascinating look at modern Ireland.

Officially? All I would say is that if people want to discuss the merits or complexities of modern sexuality, it's done civilly and respectful of each others' views. Be it supportive of said complexity, or sceptical. Not going to break out the cards now, but would ask people remember to debate in good faith.[/B]

And not in another thread where others dont have to wade through crap before we get back to topic...the actual show?

leggo · 10-03-2020 1:15am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

And not in another thread where others dont have to wade through crap before we get back to topic...the actual show?

When people talk about how disabled people won’t find many people who’ll accept their disability, or how pansexual people are ‘just looking for attention’, or whatever their issues are with TS people...that’s just as off-topic as the counterpoints offered. If you want the freedom to share your comment, don’t throw a hissy fit and start calling for mods when others comment on your comments. A mod has acknowledged your thoughts and given a fair reply, get over it tbh.

10-03-2020 1:21am

leggo wrote: »

When people talk about how disabled people won’t find many people who’ll accept their disability, or how pansexual people are ‘just looking for attention’, or whatever their issues are with TS people...that’s just as off-topic as the counterpoints offered. If you want the freedom to share your comment, don’t throw a hissy fit and start calling for mods when others comment on your comments. A mod has acknowledged your thoughts and given a fair reply, get over it tbh.

Are you still on about that??? Christ that is so sad

Get over it yourself

How was i off topic with that exactly when i was commenting on the date itself???

Bowlardo · 10-03-2020 6:27am

Barna77 wrote: »

Only got to watch the last two episodes now.

If the Manchester guy and Larry ever changed teams I'd be looking for either of them

Something I don't like about the show is all the waffle at the start before the actual dates. Mateo and co talking about love and being in love and what not.

I think this season is very poor. Looks alike they are struggling to get people on the show

Princess Calla · 10-03-2020 10:51am

leggo wrote: »

When people talk about how disabled people won’t find many people who’ll accept their disability, or how pansexual people are ‘just looking for attention’, or whatever their issues are with TS people...

First off I have absolutely no idea what TS stands for, maybe transsexual at a guess, but I'll survive.

It's all about delivery Leggo, she dropped the term in and then fell over herself in excitement trying to explain it. While the terms maybe new as language evolves over time, the action is far from new, it's talked about in the bible ffs!

I also think it's pretty sad that someone sees their sexuality as the most interesting talking point of their life (I do get that in this type of show it will be talked about). I include everyone in this, from the dude who swaggers in, as if his balls are two big for the space between his legs (just makes me think their having a herpes flare up) boasting about all the buurds he's sh*gged in magaluf. To the person leading an "alternative" (for want of a better phrase, I'm positive there's a better term) lifestyle that's really not that "alternative".

It's also about context, I thought I was making a comment, in a light hearted way, in a light hearted thread about a light hearted TV show but it appears I stumbled into the sex and sexuality forum with a dash of personal issues.

10-03-2020 10:57am

Princess Calla wrote: »

I also think it's pretty sad that someone sees their sexuality as the most interesting talking point of their life

This..

joeguevara · 10-03-2020 4:02pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

First off I have absolutely no idea what TS stands for, maybe transsexual at a guess, but I'll survive.

It's all about delivery Leggo, she dropped the term in and then fell over herself in excitement trying to explain it. While the terms maybe new as language evolves over time, the action is far from new, it's talked about in the bible ffs!

I also think it's pretty sad that someone sees their sexuality as the most interesting talking point of their life (I do get that in this type of show it will be talked about). I include everyone in this, from the dude who swaggers in, as if his balls are two big for the space between his legs (just makes me think their having a herpes flare up) boasting about all the buurds he's sh*gged in magaluf. To the person leading an "alternative" (for want of a better phrase, I'm positive there's a better term) lifestyle that's really not that "alternative".

It's also about context, I thought I was making a comment, in a light hearted way, in a light hearted thread about a light hearted TV show but it appears I stumbled into the sex and sexuality forum with a dash of personal issues.

I know where you are coming from. But I honestly believe editing is the issue. Let’s say the date lasts an hour, and they spend 2-3 minutes talking about something. But this is what we see so looks like it’s the only thing they can talk about. Also production staff tell them to bring it up. Same (I am presuming) as the guy who called his mum at the table or the guy who immediately brought up that he lost a leg in an accident. I was chosen for last season, and the day before received a message to wear a short sleeved T-shirt because I have tattoos which wouldn’t be expected for my job and to talk about them. It was clear that was how it would be edited and I couldn’t think of anything more boring to talk about. So I wouldn’t be too harsh on them.

Princess Calla · 10-03-2020 4:12pm

joeguevara wrote: »

I know where you are coming from. But I honestly believe editing is the issue. Let’s say the date lasts an hour, and they spend 2-3 minutes talking about something. But this is what we see so looks like it’s the only thing they can talk about. Also production staff tell them to bring it up. Same (I am presuming) as the guy who called his mum at the table or the guy who immediately brought up that he lost a leg in an accident. I was chosen for last season, and the day before received a message to wear a short sleeved T-shirt because I have tattoos which wouldn’t be expected for my job and to talk about them. It was clear that was how it would be edited and I couldn’t think of anything more boring to talk about. So I wouldn’t be too harsh on them.

100% agree, the same with love Island, I'm a celebrity etc.

But then devils advocate here, what's shown is what the producers feel is the most interesting thing about the person. It's the same with the sob stories, jesus if you brought half of them up on a real first date, your date would suddenly be receiving an "emergency" phone call... Sharp exit stage left.

We're all aware of this, which is why I wouldn't be getting too worked up about comments on the thread.

joeguevara · 10-03-2020 4:25pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

100% agree, the same with love Island, I'm a celebrity etc.

But then devils advocate here, what's shown is what the producers feel is the most interesting thing about the person. It's the same with the sob stories, jesus if you brought half of them up on a real first date, your date would suddenly be receiving an "emergency" phone call... Sharp exit stage left.

We're all aware of this, which is why I wouldn't be getting too worked up about comments on the thread.

If someone is being a d1ck or a sleaze or crude (thinking of the guy who said ‘while your down there’) they deserve to be called out and have no sympathy if they receive negative comments. But belittling a person’s sexuality, personalising them is different.

Also, what the producers feel is most interesting may not be what their date finds most interesting. But some of the stuff brought up is bizarre. I’d never talk about an ex, or a serious illness or childhood heartbreak up on a first date. But it is topic de jour on this season. Getting a bit like Xfactor where unless you have a heartbreaking background, then you’re at nothing. I find the endearing dates where they just get on much better to watch. People breaking down because the love of their life died isn’t my cup of tea.

Higgins5473 · 11-03-2020 10:22am

pixelburp wrote: »

but in the main it's a fascinatinglook at modern Ireland.

Playing fast and loose with the word ‘fascinating’ there. It’s slipping for the most part into Jeremy Kyle freak show stuff, granted we all have problems but seems every single one of their participants is currently in the throws of some mental health issue or has recovered from one, or has suffered some major trauma.

Officially? All I would say is that if people want to discuss the merits or complexities of modern sexuality, it's done civilly and respectful of each others' views. Be it supportive of said complexity, or sceptical. Not going to break out the cards now, but would ask people remember to debate in good faith.

In fairness I think the point of the reply was that heading into a debtate on different types of sexuality, of which there is an abundance of shįte (see here https://www.healthline.com/health/different-types-of-sexuality ) could result in a thread going ‘off topic’ which mods like yourself regularly try and remind posters to stay on very often.

yerwanthere123 · 11-03-2020 6:12pm

Higgins5473 wrote: »

Playing fast and loose with the word ‘fascinating’ there. It’s slipping for the most part into Jeremy Kyle freak show stuff, granted we all have problems but seems every single one of their participants is currently in the throws of some mental health issue or has recovered from one, or has suffered some major trauma.

It's descending into a Jeremy Kyle style freak show because a few of the contestants have alluded to having some past/present mental health issues. Classy :cool:

Higgins5473 · 11-03-2020 8:04pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

It's descending into a Jeremy Kyle style freak show because a few of the contestants have alluded to having some past/present mental health issues. Classy :cool:

I didn’t think spelling it out was necessary but I will do it for you, the producers of the show are exploiting some very vulnerable people. I don’t think this is right.

The ‘classy/stay classy’ end responses were old about 2 years ago.

yerwanthere123 · 11-03-2020 8:42pm

Higgins5473 wrote: »

I didn’t think spelling it out was necessary but I will do it for you, the producers of the show are exploiting some very vulnerable people. I don’t think this is right.

The ‘classy/stay classy’ end responses were old about 2 years ago.

:pac:

Rikand · 12-03-2020 10:38pm

I dont think Emer's too keen on yer man there

12-03-2020 10:39pm

The stood up girl is kind of hot..

Yer man wearing no socks..
Hopefully the Corona virus will put an end to that sort of carry on..

walshb · 12-03-2020 10:57pm

Cancer and clinical depression..

Waiting for credits to roll and seeing executive producer, Ryan Tubridy!

Still Ill · 12-03-2020 11:01pm

They're really overdoing the sad backstories this series. While I do feel sorry for them, it's so prominent it's become very grating. Every date you're just waiting for them to unveil their past bereavements or illnesses.

12-03-2020 11:02pm

He looks like the barman's little brother..

pgj2015 · 12-03-2020 11:03pm

bit of an age gap here.

12-03-2020 11:06pm

Funny fact..

Pseud..

JP Liz V1 · 12-03-2020 11:09pm

The lesbos look like sisters

The Princess Bride · 12-03-2020 11:15pm

How common, who throws food in a restaurant?

4Ad · 12-03-2020 11:15pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Funny fact..

Pseud..

Yawn...i'm so clever !!!

pgj2015 · 12-03-2020 11:17pm

The Princess Bride wrote: »

How common, who throws food in a restaurant?

Kids.

the nerds will deffo have a sob story. badly bullied in school I will guess.

JP Liz V1 · 12-03-2020 11:18pm

walshb wrote: »

Cancer and clinical depression..

Waiting for credits to roll and seeing executive producer, Ryan Tubridy!

Still Ill wrote: »

They're really overdoing the sad backstories this series. While I do feel sorry for them, it's so prominent it's become very grating. Every date you're just waiting for them to unveil their past bereavements or illnesses.

I wonder was cancer or some illness a pre requisite for this current series, so many

The Master · 12-03-2020 11:18pm

The Princess Bride wrote: »

How common, who throws food in a restaurant?

Blonde girl who threw the bread spent the entire date staring at the cameras and scowling with a "why am I not the focus tonight" look

Mad_maxx · 12-03-2020 11:20pm

she is fcuking gorgeous

12-03-2020 11:20pm

Yeah, she's kind of hot..

The Princess Bride · 12-03-2020 11:20pm

She is lovely, he is nice.
Hope they meet again, as opposed to losing each other's numbers or emigrating or dying the next day or something

12-03-2020 11:21pm

I thought he seemed a bit dim..

ted1 · 12-03-2020 11:22pm

Your mans jeans are way to tight. Can’t even walk

12-03-2020 11:22pm

I like the physicist too..She seems nice..

pgj2015 · 12-03-2020 11:24pm

id be wary of dating someone from the worst town in Ireland. Hi Niamh.

ted1 · 12-03-2020 11:24pm

Billy Niamh = head wrecker.... other one is nice

jojofizzio · 12-03-2020 11:26pm

The two girls on the date are painful...all they did is talk about riding and then when one decided she didn’t want to ride the other,the whole thing was called off.....an annoying pair