Potential Partner Questionnaire

Boom_Bap

recylingbin wrote: »

Deep enough for a big shark, but not so deep that an aircraft carrier would comfortably sail.

So we're talking about a fjord here. I guess a good question would be, 'are you Norweigan'

recylingbin

Damn it, bring back the trivial annoyances thread.

Speedwell

How long is a piece of string?

maudgonner

Boom_Bap wrote: »

So we're talking about a fjord here. I guess a good question would be, 'are you Norweigan'

Or from KillaryHarbourIreland'sOnlyFjord?

(That's the way they always advertise it - never just Killary Harbour, they always stick 'Ireland's Only Fjord' on the end )

jamesbere

Do you have Road frontage?

TheDriver

Would u pay a water bill??

Shint0

Are you a gold digger?
Do you have a sense of entitlement?
Will you want half the farm if we split up?

foxy farmer

Would you like to be buried with my people?
Used as a proposal of marriage in some quarters

andekwarhola

Do you like passion in a relationship? *


*I'm a crazy self-absorbed cnut who thinks interminable, exhausting arguments are symptomatic of a free spirit.

stimpson

stimpson wrote: »

I feel sorry for your husband.

stimpson wrote: »

Because your need to humiliate potential partners with a questionaire points to you issues with narcissistic personality disorder.

I bet she's a lot more fun than you are!


My questions would be:

Are you willing to settle disputes via competitive dance-off?

Would you object to me singing Time Warp in the shower?

Have you ever described yourself as an egalitarian?

Have you ever discussed football or how much you can lift or cars for more than twenty minutes?

How often do you wash?

Have you ever taken a loan and never paid it back?

What are the secrets of the universe? 42 is not an acceptable answer.

Do you think Jeremy Clarkson is a misunderstood genius?

melissak

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Can you foot turf?

Can you light a stove without firelighters?

Do you like Kris Kristofferson and T'Pau?

Which is a better way to spend a first date, a night at the opera or an evening weeding a vegetable plot?

Do you like Tennent's?

Are you easygoing?

Turning turf for me. Don't bother footing it round these parts. Oh is good but nowhere near as fast as me. The only manual labour type activity I'd bother challenging him to a race. Lots of practice I suppose..

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Shint0 wrote: »

Are you a gold digger?
Do you have a sense of entitlement?
Will you want half the farm if we split up?

No
Yes
No I have my own

Do you eat pizza with a knife?

What's your opinion on gay marriage?

Are you a staunch Catholic?

Will you make me feel guilty for my easy living ways?

Do you have more ovaries than I?

Are you the type to tell a homeless person to get a job?

Are you sexually open minded?

Will you judge me for not driving a fancy car and not having pots of money?

Is the gym your passion?

Will you make stupid jokes about my profession?

Are you emotionally available?

Are you compassionate?

Do you have dreams?

ToddyDoody

Are you low maintenance?

All my questions are really looking for the one thing; openminded, kind, intelligent and please don't be a control freak.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Will you feed me, **** me and leave me alone in the mornings?

Do you like scary films?

Can we have a cat or a reasonably sized dog?

Are you funny and a basically decent human being?

One eyed Jack

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Do you eat pizza with a knife?

Nope, I eat it whole.

What's your opinion on gay marriage?

I've never tried it.

Are you a staunch Catholic?

Nah, not staunch anyway.

Will you make me feel guilty for my easy living ways?

Long as you're happy, it's all good in the hood.

Do you have more ovaries than I?

Nope.

Are you the type to tell a homeless person to get a job?

Nope, I'm the type to help them get a job.

Are you sexually open minded?

I'm open to negotiation

Will you judge me for not driving a fancy car and not having pots of money?

Nope, materialism doesn't interest me.

Is the gym your passion?

Only if there's a chance of passion in the gym!

Will you make stupid jokes about my profession?

Nope. I may be inclined to make stupid jokes about everything else though!

Are you emotionally available?

Nope, I make stupid jokes to distract from my emotional unavailability.

Are you compassionate?

Yes, but I don't let it show on the outside.

Do you have dreams?

Yes, but none I'd want to talk about

[Deleted User] wrote: »

All my questions are really looking for the one thing; openminded, kind, intelligent and please don't be a control freak.

One out of four, damn! :pac:

One eyed Jack

One eyed Jack wrote: »

One out of four, damn! :pac:

Ah I crossed you off my list as soon as you wrote that you were emotionally unavailable

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'm emotionally constipated Pers. I haven't given a sh1t in days.

Am I still in with a chance

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'm emotionally constipated Pers. I haven't given a sh1t in days.

Am I still in with a chance

You'll be in good company with me so. The last time I gave a shít was sometime around 2011.

silly

will you bore me with "the crazy dream" you had?

will you replace the toiletpaper when it's gone?

Crocs?

traprunner

Wow, anyone else feel like they've travelled back to 2006 and are reading someone's post on Bebo?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Do you try post passive aggressive I'm cooler than you posts?

Wibbs

How often do you visit and update Facebook? Social media has weaponised gossip, oneupmanship, narcissism and attention seeking, so I have found the higher the usage of same, the more diva behaviour is to be expected. Bonus points deducted for snapchatting pics of your dinner of cupcakes.

_Kaiser_

Are you happy with your own company as well as time together?

Do you need constant reassurance/support?

Are you ambitious? (whether it be career, education, travel, whatever)

Do you make an effort to keep up with your friends? Do you still do this when in a relationship or do you disappear?

Can you survive without your phone?

Do you use social media? If so how often per day?

Do you consider yourself politically correct?

Are you interested in celeb culture?

What type of TV programmes/films do you enjoy?


Basically, someone who doesn't ask "are you ok?" if it takes more than 5 minutes to reply to a text, who has some goals and drive in life, and who is happy on their own as well as when we're together. Also if you spend your life on Facebook/Twitter and can only hold a conversation about celeb gossip or the soaps then that would be a deal-breaker.

recylingbin

melissak wrote: »

Turning turf for me. Don't bother footing it round these parts. Oh is good but nowhere near as fast as me. The only manual labour type activity I'd bother challenging him to a race. Lots of practice I suppose..

I got backache from just reading that.

_Kaiser_

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

Basically, someone who doesn't ask "are you ok?" if it takes more than 5 minutes to reply to a text, who has some goals and drive in life, and who is happy on their own as well as when we're together. Also if you spend your life on Facebook/Twitter and can only hold a conversation about celeb gossip or the soaps then that would be a deal-breaker.

Absolutely all of this. Especially the "are you ok" texts. Feck off. I'm living my life!!

The Young Wan

After how long of not hearing from me will you start panicking and ringing my relatives?
What are your thoughts on mental health issues?
Will you be able to "deal with me" if I'm having one of my "bad days"?
Who is the best Disney princess?

BattleCorp

I'd have to add the question "Do you have any sexual feelings towards other women"?

Unfortunately I didn't see that one coming.

fatknacker

Funny how posters who use the social media usage as a dealbreaker....yet their own heavy usage of boards is ok.

recylingbin

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Absolutely all of this. Especially the "are you ok" texts. Feck off. I'm living my life!!

U OK hun? xx

recylingbin

fatknacker wrote: »

Funny how posters who use the social media usage as a dealbreaker....yet their own heavy usage of boards is ok.

I stand by my record of 6k odd posts and not a lick of sense uttered in any of them.

Wibbs

fatknacker wrote: »

Funny how posters who use the social media usage as a dealbreaker....yet their own heavy usage of boards is ok.

can't recall ever snap chatting pics of cupcakes, or posting selfies in tourist traps, or posting status updates of my emotional state and not a Marilyn Monroe quote in sight. Bit of a difference there Ted.

Oh yeah, that M Monroe quote about taking them at their worst or whatever. Danger Will Robinson!! Almost a cast iron guarantee of a neurotic PITA.

whiskeyman

If 'dropping the kids at the pool', after the flush, will you turn around to ensure all have left and no floaters are left to surprise me?





good god... can't believe I've had to include that!!!

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

can't recall ever snap chatting pics of cupcakes, or posting selfies in tourist traps, or posting status updates of my emotional state and not a Marilyn Monroe quote in sight. Bit of a difference there Ted.

Oh yeah, that M Monroe quote about taking them at their worst or whatever. Danger Will Robinson!! Almost a cast iron guarantee of a neurotic PITA.

What about if she loves watches?


:pac:

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

What about if she loves watches?


:pac:

Sure sign of a nutter.

maudgonner

Deleted User wrote: »

What about if she loves watches?


:pac:

It's a fine line between horology and whorology :eek:

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Sure sign of a nutter.

That's what I thought.

Gunslinger92

Do you like QOTSA? (Massive advantage, if not though, grand - I'll get ya into them! Definitely couldn't go out with someone who actively dislikes them though, they're all I feckin listen to)

Do you like animals? Would have to be a yes.

Do you watch a lot of soccer? If yes, toodaloo, I can't stand it

Do you read books?

Did you jump on the Conor mcgregor bandwagon?

Would you go out in public in a tracksuit in a non gym/activity setting?

Gunslinger92

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

Do you like QOTSA? (Massive advantage, if not though, grand - I'll get ya into them! Definitely couldn't go out with someone who actively dislikes them though, they're all I feckin listen to)

Do you like animals? Would have to be a yes.

Do you watch a lot of soccer? If yes, toodaloo, I can't stand it

Do you read books?

Did you jump on the Conor mcgregor bandwagon?

Would you go out in public in a tracksuit in a non gym/activity setting?

Do you like Roland Deschain?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Would you stay out all night?
Would you come back in the morning reeking of booze with an inability to keep your hands to yourself?
Would you go to the spare room without being asked so as not to wake up your sig other?
How do you deal with being in the wrong?
Is the word sorry a feature in your vocabulary?

Esel

What's your name?

Sorry, can't spell that. Bye.








[ HTF did I get here? Save me, Jebus! ]

Capt'n Midnight

maudgonner wrote: »

It's a fine line between horology and whorology :eek:

There was an escort called Rolex. Same price, different movement.

cantdecide

Given a mildly irritating conflict or misunderstanding, do you try to communicate or lash out?

_Kaiser_

Deleted User wrote: »

Absolutely all of this. Especially the "are you ok" texts. Feck off. I'm living my life!!

In my case it was that I was working/driving at the time and she knew I'd get back to her when I had time.
I had an early indication that problems were ahead when a (female) friend invited me to a gig at the last minute and despite telling me to go and enjoy it (I was nicely settled in for the night), an hour long call ensued on my drive up about how she missed me/should've said to have a night in together etc... Oh well, live and learn!

But on that I'll add:

Do you mind that I have several good friends of the opposite sex?

_Kaiser_

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

But on that I'll add:

Do you mind that I have several good friends of the opposite sex?

Ah I see. Relationships are so complex. Full of each others fears and hopes and insecurities.

Two of my best friend's are men. There ain't nobody going to change that!

Capt'n Midnight

Speedwell wrote: »

How long is a piece of string?

According to string theory it's about the Planck length.

fatknacker

Wibbs wrote: »

can't recall ever snap chatting pics of cupcakes, or posting selfies in tourist traps, or posting status updates of my emotional state and not a Marilyn Monroe quote in sight. Bit of a difference there Ted.

Oh yeah, that M Monroe quote about taking them at their worst or whatever. Danger Will Robinson!! Almost a cast iron guarantee of a neurotic PITA.

That's not only what was being said as a dealbreaker though...it was that in addition to time spent online.